"Beloved, thou hast praised Me in the dance
And weary are thy feet--
Behold in shadow of the trees of God
The rest is sweet,
Rest, rest with Me."
"O Lord, too great this love of Thine,
Thine only can it be;
For, lo! my love, Lord, is not mine,
It comes from Thee."
The Journey through the Wilderness.
Thus much do we know of the journey of this redeemed soul from
self-occupation and self-discipline, whilst Christ listened for her voice
in vain, to the knowledge of the peace and joy that is in Him. And we
know something also of her earthly path, told us in a spiritual song,
which she calls "How fair is the Bridegroom, and how the bride followeth
Him."
"Behold, My bride, how fair My mouth, Mine eyes;
My heart is glowing fire, My hand is grace;
And see how swift My foot, and follow Me.
For thou with Me shalt scorned and martyred be,
Betrayed by envy, tempted in the wilds,
And seized by hate, and bound by calumny,
And they shall bind thine eyes lest thou shouldst see,
By hiding Mine eternal truth from thee.
And they shall scourge thee with the worlds despite,
And shrive thee with the ban of doom and dread,
For penance thy dishonoured head shall smite,
By mockery thou to Herod shalt be led,
By misery left forlorn--
And scourged by want, and by temptation crowned,
And spit upon by scorn.
The loathing of thy sin thy cross shall be;
Thy crucifixion, crossing of thy will;
The nails, obedience that shall fasten thee;
And love shall wound, and steadfastness shall slay,
Yet thou shalt love Me still.
The spear shall pierce thine heart, and Mine shall be
The life that lives and moves henceforth in thee.
Then as a conqueror loosened from the cross,
Laid in the grave of nothingness and loss,
Thou shalt awaken, and be borne above
Upon the breath of Mine almighty love."
Thus the revelation of the love of God, which was to the soul the opening
of heaven, the entrance into the Father's house where was the feast of
joy, the music, and the dancing, was to lead to a walk of faithfulness
here below, which would bring upon the witness of God persecution and
shame and reproach.
Was it, therefore, that when the Lord had spoken to the Pharisees of the
love which welcomes the publican and the sinner, of the joy and gladness
into which the returning son was brought, He spoke to the disciples the
solemn warning lest the riches, not only temporal, but spiritual,
entrusted to them as stewards should be wasted by them? Is it not true
that the revelation to the soul of that which is in the Father's house,
the joy and the love, and the unspeakable riches of Christ, needs nothing
less than Divine grace and power to keep us from misusing the treasure
entrusted to us, and making it an occasion for feeding and exalting the
fleshly mind?
Therefore Paul needed the thorn in the flesh, not to fit him for entering
the third heaven, but after he had been there; so that the riches
bestowed on him were not made an occasion for self-glorification, but he
became a good steward of the manifold grace of God.
It is to be carefully remarked in the writings of Matilda, that she does
not speak of this entrance into the gladness of heaven as an attainment.
On the contrary, as we have seen, she speaks of the result of her
repentance, of her conflict with the world, the flesh, and the devil, as
being but weariness and thirst.
It is only when Christ comes into the parable that the heavenly
experience begins.
"For," she says, "before the time when Jesus Christ opened heaven with
the key of His cross, there was no man so holy that he could, or that he
might, ascend up into the Eternal heavens--not with labour or with the
soaring of the imagination, not with longing or the stretching forth of
imploring arms, not with the utmost yearning of his love. For Adam had
fastened the bolt so firmly, that no man could open it. Shouldst Thou,
then, O Eternal Father, keep fast the door of heaven with the bolt of Thy
justice, so that sinners must remain without, I turn me to Jesus, Thy
beloved Son, who holds in His hands the key of Thine almighty power.
"That key was forged in the land of the Jews, (and truly the Jews now
would lock Thy people out of heaven and keep them in bondage), but when
by Jesus the key was turned, the outcast sinner could enter into Thy
love. But it is also the love of the Father who speaketh, and saith, 'My
soul endureth not that any sinner should be turned away who cometh to Me;
therefore do I follow after many a soul for long, long years, till I lay
hold upon him, and hold him fast.'"
By the Jews who would lock the people of God out of heaven Matilda, it
need not be said, had in her mind the Jews of Christendom, the professing
Church being constantly called by her Jerusalem, and the formalist
priests "those who follow the law of the Jews."
But the name of Jerusalem was also employed by her as a name of honour,
applied to the true Church of God, the true Bride of Christ.
For within the outward profession of Christianity, Matilda recognised the
living Body of Christ. It is true that the two should have been one and
the same, as the soul and the visible body are one person. But it was no
longer so, and Matilda therefore saw the professing Church, Christendom,
divided into two parts, the living and the dead, the true and the false,
the children of God and the children of this world. To her the true and
living Church was yet glorious and undivided, for it was united in one by
the Spirit of God. Whether amongst professing Catholics or amongst the
"Friends of God" who stood apart from Rome these living stones were
found, there was yet but the one building, the dwelling-place of God.
If Matilda had no thoughts respecting the "Reunion of Christendom," she
had a firm belief in the Unity of the Church of God. It could not be
reunited, for it was the Body of Christ. The prayer of the Lord "that
they all may be one," had been heard. "I know," He said, "that Thou
hearest Me always."
Through the ages when Christendom had been divided into countless sects,
the true Members of Christ, whether they knew it or not, had been, and
must be, one. It needed but to believe it, and to own it. But in order to
recognise it as true, it was necessary that the eyes should be opened to
see that the same profession of faith, or all varying professions of
Christian faith, included the two classes, the living and the dead; the
living, united together as the living members of the body; the dead, but
separate particles of mouldering dust.
A "Reunion of Christendom," which would have as its object to form into
one mass the living and the dead, can be but a denial of the great truth
that "there _is_ one Body and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one
hope of your calling."
Matilda, in a parable, describes the true Church of God as a beautiful
maiden standing upon a mighty stone, which was as a mountain of spices,
and the name of which was Christ, her feet adorned with a jasper stone,
which is Christian faith; and in her hand a cup, of which she drank alone
"in unspeakable blessedness," for the angels in heaven might not drink of
it--it was "the Blood of the Eternal Son."
Matilda knew, and rejoiced to know, that she was one with all the saints
of all the ages, and she tells us her experience of it also.
As Mary, she said, she knew how the sword had pierced through her own
soul also, because so many who seem "religious" are lukewarm and
undecided for Christ.
As John, "I know what it is to rest in the unspeakable love upon the
bosom of Jesus Christ."
And as Paul, "Yes, Paul, I was caught up with thee, and I saw so
marvellous a place, that thenceforth I could but long ever to be there.
And I drank of the wine of which the heavenly Father is the cup-bearer,
and Christ is the cup, and the Holy Ghost the pure, clear wine, and love
is the plenishing. And love invited me and welcomed me to drink thereof,
so that now I am well content to drink gall and vinegar here below."
And further, "Stephen, I kneel beside thee before the Jews who hated
thee, amongst the sharp stones, which fall upon me, great ones and small
ones, all my days. Those who seem to be good people stone me in the back,
and run away, for they would not have me know it was they who did it.
God, however, saw it."
"Mary Magdalene, I live with thee in the wilderness, for all is sorrow to
me except my God."
Practice.
Of Matilda's daily life we know but little, having scarcely any incidents
recorded in her book. Apparently, from various passages, we can learn
that, like most Beguines, her time was chiefly occupied in tending the
sick and poor.
She considered it needful to visit the sick in the Beguinage daily, "to
comfort them with the lovely words of God, and to refresh them also in a
gentle way with earthly things, for God is very rich. It is needful also
to bestow much care on the cleanliness of the sick-room, and it is a good
thing to be merry and to laugh with them, but in a godly manner. And it
is well to serve them with ready hands, and to ask them kindly to tell
what are their pains and complaints, and to show them that they have a
friend who will stand by them and care for them."
Household matters, too, were a part of Matilda's experience. "It is right
to go every day into the kitchen, and to see that the needful provisions
are good, so that our stinginess, or the cook's laziness, may not rob the
Lord of the bodily strength of His servants. A hungry mouth will sing the
Lord's praises ill, and a hungry man is little fit for study, and this is
so much taken from the Lord's service."
Matilda also wrote letters, containing much wholesome advice. From a
letter to a prior is the following:--
"We should listen to any complaints with sympathy, and be very faithful
in giving counsel. If the brethren desire to build magnificently, you
should hinder this, and say, 'Ah, dearest brethren, let us rather build
for God a beautiful palace in our souls, with the stones of Holy
Scripture and holy graces.'
"The first stone of such a palace, in which the eternal God may dwell,
and where His beloved may dwell with Him, is deep humility. We do not
desire to build in pride and vanity, as the lords and ladies of this
world; but we do need to build as heavenly princes upon earth, knowing
that at the last day we shall sit on thrones with the despised Jesus.
"And make sure that during the day or the night you find a full spare
hour to converse with our dear Lord and God, praying to Him without let
or hindrance. For the heavenly gift which God loves to give to His elect,
His beloved children, is of a fine and noble sort, and it flows freely to
the soul that draws near to Him, and to whom He bends down in His
infinite love.
"For His heart was so smitten with love to us that He gave up all things,
and emptied Himself for more than thirty years, that He might at last
embrace His beloved, and give free course to His love.
"Will you not think of this? Could you be so uncourteous to Him, as to
refuse Him one hour a day in return for these thirty years?
"When I, the lowest of the least, go to my prayers, I adorn myself for
this hour. I put on as my only ornament my unworthiness, I array myself
in the miry slough that I am, and I am shod with the precious time that I
have lost day by day, and I am girded with the pain which I have caused
to others. And I am wrapped in the cloak of my sinfulness, of which I am
full; and I put on my head the crown of my secret faults, wherewith I
have trespassed against the Lord. Then I take the glass of the truth and
look in it to see myself therein, and alas! I see but sorrow and shame. I
would rather put on this dress than any rich attire, although it were
better to be clothed in hell, and crowned with devils, than to be sinful
as I am.
"And in this dress do I go to seek Jesus, my blessed Lord, and I find Him
in no other way so truly as in my sin.
"Therefore with joy do I go to Him, with love and fear, and the
uncleanness of my sin vanishes before His holy eyes, and He looks on me
with such love, that my heart overflows with love to Him. And all the
guilt and grief are gone, and He teaches me His will, and makes me to
taste His sweetness, and He overwhelms me with His tender love.
"Prayer has a marvellous power, it makes the bitter heart sweet, and the
sorrowful heart glad, and the poor rich, and the foolish wise, and the
fearful bold, and the sick strong, and the blind to see, and the cold to
burn. It draws the great God down into the small heart, and lifts the
hungry soul up to God, the living Fountain. It brings together the loving
God and the loving soul in a blessed meeting-place, and they speak
together of love."
In another letter she says, "That which hinders spiritual people more,
perhaps, than anything, is the little importance attached to small sins.
I tell you in truth, when I neglect a pleasant laugh that would have hurt
nobody, or when I allow bitterness in my heart even without showing it in
word or action, or when I feel a little impatience in suffering pain, my
soul becomes so dark, and my mind so dull, and my heart so cold, that I
have to go and confess my sin with shame and tears. I feel like a dog who
has been beaten till I breathe again freely in the love and mercy of God,
and find myself again in the sweet garden of Paradise, out of which my
sin had driven me."
Gleanings from Matilda's Book.
The seven books which compose "The flowing forth of the light of the
Godhead" being composed of detached papers put together by Brother Henry,
have, as has been remarked, no special connection one with another. It
may be as well to give detached poems from the first five books, and
thoughts in prose, or rather not in rhyme, asking indulgence for the
imperfect rendering of either into modern English. The titles given are
from the original.
How God is to be Praised for Eight Things.
O Dew, abundant from the depths of Heaven;
O sweet white Flower, pure as mountain snow;
O Precious Fruit of that celestial Flower;
O Ransom from the everlasting woe;
The holy Sacrifice for sins of men;
The Gift that the eternal Father gave;
O Dew of life, by Thee I live again,
By Thee who camest down to seek and save.
I see Thee small, in low and humble guise;
And me Thou seest, great in shame and sin:
Lord, I would be Thy daily sacrifice,
Though I am worthless, vile, and foul within.
Yet into that mean cup Thy grace will pour
The love that overflows for evermore.
How God draweth the Soul to Himself.
Eagle of the highest Heaven, gentle Lamb, Infolding Fire,
Kindle, glow in me.
Barren, thirsty, do I seek Thee,
Through the ages of desire,
One day as a thousand winters,
Waiting, Lord, for Thee.
Bitterer to the soul that loveth
Far from her Beloved to dwell,
Than the pit of doom to sinners--
An abyss there is profounder
Than the depths of hell.
. . . . . . .
The nightingale she can but sing,
For she is made of love's delight,
Of love bereft, what else were left
Than death and night?