THE stage is more beholding to love, than the life of man. For as to the
stage, love is ever matter of comedies, and now and then of tragedies;
but in life it doth much mischief; sometimes like a siren, sometimes
like a fury. You may observe, that amongst all the great and worthy
persons (whereof the memory remaineth, either ancient or recent) there
is not one, that hath been transported to the mad degree of love: which
shows that great spirits, and great business, do keep out this weak
passion. You must except, nevertheless, Marcus Antonius, the half
partner of the empire of Rome, and Appius Claudius, the decemvir
and lawgiver; whereof the former was indeed a voluptuous man, and
inordinate; but the latter was an austere and wise man: and therefore it
seems (though rarely) that love can find entrance, not only into an open
heart, but also into a heart well fortified, if watch be not well kept.
It is a poor saying of Epicurus, Satis magnum alter alteri theatrum
sumus; as if man, made for the contemplation of heaven, and all noble
objects, should do nothing but kneel before a little idol, and make
himself a subject, though not of the mouth (as beasts are), yet of the
eye; which was given him for higher purposes. It is a strange thing, to
note the excess of this passion, and how it braves the nature, and
value of things, by this; that the speaking in a perpetual hyperbole, is
comely in nothing but in love. Neither is it merely in the phrase; for
whereas it hath been well said, that the arch-flatterer, with whom all
the petty flatterers have intelligence, is a man's self; certainly the
lover is more. For there was never proud man thought so absurdly well
of himself, as the lover doth of the person loved; and therefore it was
well said, That it is impossible to love, and to be wise. Neither doth
this weakness appear to others only, and not to the party loved; but to
the loved most of all, except the love be reciproque. For it is a true
rule, that love is ever rewarded, either with the reciproque, or with an
inward and secret contempt. By how much the more, men ought to beware of
this passion, which loseth not only other things, but itself! As for the
other losses, the poet's relation doth well figure them: that he that
preferred Helena, quitted the gifts of Juno and Pallas. For whosoever
esteemeth too much of amorous affection, quitteth both riches and
wisdom. This passion hath his floods, in very times of weakness; which
are great prosperity, and great adversity; though this latter hath been
less observed: both which times kindle love, and make it more fervent,
and therefore show it to be the child of folly. They do best, who if
they cannot but admit love, yet make it keep quarters; and sever it
wholly from their serious affairs, and actions, of life; for if it check
once with business, it troubleth men's fortunes, and maketh men, that
they can no ways be true to their own ends. I know not how, but martial
men are given to love: I think, it is but as they are given to wine; for
perils commonly ask to be paid in pleasures. There is in man's nature,
a secret inclination and motion, towards love of others, which if it be
not spent upon some one or a few, doth naturally spread itself towards
many, and maketh men become humane and charitable; as it is seen
sometime in friars. Nuptial love maketh mankind; friendly love
perfecteth it; but wanton love corrupteth, and embaseth it.