[Illustration: Thursday, April 7. Hyde Park. Mid-day.]
Reach it, attendant; wicked winter flies off:
Place it with pomp for me to sit and stare
Up at the sun who banquets us with cries of
"Chair!"
Long have we pined in darkness most uncanny:
Now to Hyde Park return its gauze of gold,
Jewels of crocus and enhancements mani-
-fold.
Welcome, delicious zephyr, blithe new-comer,
Urging to purchase patent-leather boots,
Hats of a virgin glossiness, and summer
suits.
Welcome, attire of carnival-carousers,
Suddenly bursting on the 'wildered view.
Mine--I don't mind confessing it--are trousers
new,
These that, serene in atmosphere serenest,
Droop o'er a Chair, whose emerald taunts the trees--
Green are the leaves, and greener than the greenest
Peas!
All things must end: to-morrow may be icy:
Wither too soon the joys that freshest are;
End will sweet summer reveries, and my ci-
gar.
Ends too that master-piece of Messrs. HYAM
Bashfully hinted at in line sixteen;
Green was the Chair I sat on--and now _I_ am
green!
* * * * *
"ALL'S (FAIRLY) WELL."
SCENE--_The War Office. Sanctum of the COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF.
H.R.H. is seated on a chair. To him enter (after being
properly complimented by a couple of Grenadiers on guard
over an area) INSPECTOR-GENERAL OF EVERYTHING, Field-Marshal
PUNCH._
_Inspector-General_ (_sharply_). Well, Sir! (_COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF comes
briskly to attention_.) No, your Royal Highness, you can be seated.
I don't want to disturb you--much! And now, how is the Easter Review
getting on?
_Com.-in-Chief_. First-rate, Sir. Excellent, Sir! Couldn't be better,
Sir!
_Insp.-Gen._ (_dryly_). I have heard those phrases before, your Royal
Highness--especially "couldn't be better"--and found subsequently that
things ought to have been better, very much better, Sir.
_Com.-in-Chief_ (_anxiously_). But I assure you, Sir, that this time
we are doing our level best. Why, Sir, fancy, we are going to have
thirty thousand men under arms! Think of that, Sir--thirty thousand
men!
_Insp.-Gen._ About the numbers of a German Brigade, or is it a
Regiment?
_Com.-in-Chief_ (_with a forced laugh_). Come, Sir, I see you are
joking! Yes, thirty thousand men, and some of them are going down
fully equipped. Why, for instance, the Artists will march the
whole way to the scene of the operations with their own regimental
transport! And so will the 1st London Engineers. Think of that, Sir!
_Insp.-Gen._ And how much have you gentlemen here had to do with that,
Sir? Why, the Volunteers would have been left in a state of utter
unpreparedness had not the public taken the initiative. What did the
War Office and the Horse Guards do towards giving them their kit?
_Com.-in-Chief_. Well, it is all right now, Sir. And we are going
to have a splendid time of it. The idea is that a hostile force has
landed at Deal during the early hours of Monday morning, and--
_Insp.-Gen._ (_interrupting_). Yes, I have read all that in the
papers. But come, tell me who is to command?
_Com.-in.-Chief_ (_rather taken aback_). Well, Sir, the customary
crew. I suppose BILLY SEYMOUR.
_Insp. Gen._ (_severely_). I presume, your Royal Highness, that you
refer to General Lord WILLIAM SEYMOUR, who will be in command at
Dover.
_Com.-in-Chief_ (_abashed_). Certainly, Sir. You are a little
particular to-day, Sir.
_Insp. Gen._ (_gravely_). I am always particular--very
particular--when I have to deal with the Volunteers. Well, Sir,
General Lord WILLIAM SEYMOUR, commands at Dover--proceed, Sir; pray
proceed.
_Com.-in-Chief_. Then, Sir, there's General GOODENOUGH at Maidstone,
and General DAWSON-SCOTT at Chatham.
_Insp.-Gen._ Is he a Volunteer?
_Com.-in-Chief_ (_laughing_). Why no, Sir; of course not, Sir. Why
he's in the Royal Engineers. Although in my Crimean days we never
considered Sappers soldiers. We used to say that--
_Insp.-Gen._ (_severely_). No levity, Sir. And pray who else is to be
in command?
_Com.-in-Chief_. Well, Sir, I shall be present myself on Saturday, and
then take the March-past on Monday.
_Insp.-Gen._ Yes; but how about the Volunteers? What about them? Why
don't you let the officers command their own men?
_Com.-in-Chief_. Why, Sir, you see in time of war--
_Insp.-Gen._ (_interrupting_). You would find Volunteer officers as
capable as any others. Your Royal Highness has no doubt studied the
lessons taught by the war between the Northerners and the Southerners
in America?
_Com.-in-Chief_. I have glanced at the subject, Sir, at the Royal
United Service Institute. And may I venture to hope that you are
satisfied, Sir?
_Insp.-Gen._ (_after a pause_). Well, yes, I think you are doing
better. But, in future, give a share of the command to Volunteers _pur
et simple_. And now just jot down what I have further to say to you.
[_Scene closes in upon the COM.-IN-CHIEF taking notes._
* * * * *