(FRAGMENT FROM A FIN DE MONDE ROMANCE.)
The Student had read many things, but he had not yet considered
the subject of Coal. He knew that it was expensive, but he had not
imagined that there was so little in the world. But he at length
obtained the requisite knowledge, and set to work to put things
to-rights. He called upon the Secretary of a Transatlantic Ocean
Steamer Company, and remonstrated with him upon the waste with which
the transactions of his institution were conducted.
"You carry your passengers too rapidly," he observed.
"As how?" asked the Secretary.
"Why I am given to understand that the power generated by the coal
gives each person on board your ships a rate of progression night and
day of twenty-four horses."
"And, if it does--what then?"
"Why, it is too much," returned the Student. "All the coal in the
world will be exhausted in something like four or five hundred years;
and so, while there is yet time, I had better go somewhere where coal
is a secondary consideration. What shall I do?"
And then the Secretary advised the Student to take a ticket to the
Centre of Africa--and the Student followed his advice. But the day
before the boat started, the Student once more appeared.
"I am afraid," said he, "I must ask you for the return of my money. I
find that it will be useless for me to go to the Centre of Africa, as
the Sun is about to cease giving warmth."
"Dear me!" cried the Secretary, "I was under the impression that the
Sun was timed to last about one hundred millions of years?"
"It may have been in the far distant past," returned the Student,
sadly, "but recent statistics fix the termination of the Sun's
existence at a much nearer date. There is no doubt that the Sun
will not last more than four millions of years, or five millions at
longest. Now give me my money!"
And (of course) the bullion was promptly returned.
* * * * *
[Illustration: BROKEN BONDS.
_La France_. "IS IT POSSIBLE!--BUT SIX MONTHS AGO!--AND NOW--"]
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