Why-Why, as our hero was commonly called in the tribe, was born, long
before Romulus built his wall, in a cave which may still be observed in
the neighbourhood of Mentone. On the warm shores of the Mediterranean,
protected from winds by a wall of rock, the group of which Why-Why was
the offspring had attained conditions of comparative comfort. The
remains of their dinners, many feet deep, still constitute the flooring
of the cave, and the tourist, as he pokes the soil with the point of his
umbrella, turns up bits of bone, shreds of chipped flint, and other
interesting relics. In the big cave lived several little families, all
named by the names of their mothers. These ladies had been knocked on
the head and dragged home, according to the marriage customs of the
period, from places as distant as the modern Marseilles and Genoa. Why-
Why, with his little brothers and sisters, were named Serpents, were
taught to believe that the serpent was the first ancestor of their race,
and that they must never injure any creeping thing. When they were still
very young, the figure of the serpent was tattooed over their legs and
breasts, so that every member of primitive society who met them had the
advantage of knowing their crest and highly respectable family name.
The birth of Why-Why was a season of discomfort and privation. The hill
tribe which lived on the summit of the hill now known as the Tete du
Chien had long been aware that an addition to the population of the cave
was expected. They had therefore prepared, according to the invariable
etiquette of these early times, to come down on the cave people, maltreat
the ladies, steal all the property they could lay hands on, and break
whatever proved too heavy to carry. Good manners, of course, forbade the
cave people to resist this visit, but etiquette permitted (and in New
Caledonia still permits) the group to bury and hide its portable
possessions. Canoes had been brought into the little creek beneath the
cave, to convey the women and children into a safe retreat, and the men
were just beginning to hide the spears, bone daggers, flint fish-hooks,
mats, shell razors, nets, and so forth, when Why-Why gave an early proof
of his precocity by entering the world some time before his arrival was
expected.
Instantly all was confusion. The infant, his mother and the other non-
combatants of the tribe, were bundled into canoes and paddled, through a
tempestuous sea, to the site of the modern Bordighiera. The men who were
not with the canoes fled into the depths of the Gorge Saint Louis, which
now severs France from Italy. The hill tribe came down at the double,
and in a twinkling had "made hay" (to borrow a modern agricultural
expression) of all the personal property of the cave dwellers. They tore
the nets (the use of which they did not understand), they broke the shell
razors, they pouched the opulent store of flint arrowheads and bone
daggers, and they tortured to death the pigs, which the cave people had
just begun to try to domesticate. After performing these rites, which
were perfectly legal--indeed, it would have been gross rudeness to
neglect them--the hill people withdrew to their wind-swept home on the
Tete du Chien.
Philosophers who believe in the force of early impressions will be
tempted to maintain that Why-Why's invincible hatred of established
institutions may be traced to these hours of discomfort in which his life
began.
The very earliest years of Why-Why, unlike those of Mr. John Stuart Mill,
whom in many respects he resembled, were not distinguished by proofs of
extraordinary intelligence. He rather promptly, however, showed signs of
a sceptical character. Like other sharp children, Why-Why was always
asking metaphysical conundrums. Who made men? Who made the sun? Why
has the cave-bear such a hoarse voice? Why don't lobsters grow on
trees?--he would incessantly demand. In answer to these and similar
questions, the mother of Why-Why would tell him stories out of the simple
mythology of the tribe. There was quite a store of traditional replies
to inquisitive children, replies sanctioned by antiquity and by the
authority of the medicine-men, and in this lore Why-Why's mother was
deeply versed.
Thus, for example, Why-Why would ask his mother who made men. She would
reply that long ago Pund-jel, the first man, made two images of human
beings in clay, and stuck on curly bark for hair. He then danced a
corroboree round them, and sang a song. They rose up, and appeared as
full-grown men. To this statement, hallowed by immemorial belief, Why-
Why only answered by asking who made Pund-jel. His mother said that Pund-
jel came out of a plot of reeds and rushes. Why-Why was silent, but
thought in his heart that the whole theory was "bosh-bosh," to use the
early reduplicative language of these remote times. Nor could he conceal
his doubts about the Deluge and the frog who once drowned all the world.
Here is the story of the frog:--"Once, long ago, there was a big frog. He
drank himself full of water. He could not get rid of the water. Once he
saw a sand-eel dancing on his tail by the sea-shore. It made him laugh
so that he burst, and all the water ran out. There was a great flood,
and every one was drowned except two or three men and women, who got on
an island. Past came the pelican, in a canoe; he took off the men, but
wanting to marry the woman, kept her to the last. She wrapped up a log
in a 'possum rug to deceive the pelican, and swam to shore and escaped.
The pelican was very angry; he began to paint himself white, to show that
he was on the war trail, when past came another pelican, did not like his
looks, and killed him with his beak. That is why pelicans are partly
black and white, if you want to know, my little dear," said the mother of
Why-Why.
Many stories like this were told in the cave, but they found no credit
with Why-Why. When he was but ten years old, his inquiring spirit showed
itself in the following remarkable manner. He had always been informed
that a serpent was the mother of his race, and that he must treat
serpents with the greatest reverence. To kill one was sacrilege. In
spite of this, he stole out unobserved and crushed a viper which had
stung his little brother. He noticed that no harm ensued, and this
encouraged him to commit a still more daring act. None but the old men
and the warriors were allowed to eat oysters. It was universally held
that if a woman or a child touched an oyster, the earth would open and
swallow the culprit. Not daunted by this prevalent belief, Why-Why one
day devoured no less than four dozen oysters, opening the shells with a
flint spear-head, which he had secreted in his waist-band. The earth did
not open and swallow him as he had swallowed the oysters, and from that
moment he became suspicious of all the ideas and customs imposed by the
old men and wizards.
Two or three touching incidents in domestic life, which occurred when Why-
Why was about twelve years old, confirmed him in the dissidence of his
dissent, for the first Radical was the first Dissenter. The etiquette of
the age (which survives among the Yorubas and other tribes) made it
criminal for a woman to see her husband, or even to mention his name.
When, therefore, the probable father of Why-Why became weary of
supporting his family, he did not need to leave the cave and tramp
abroad. He merely ceased to bring in tree-frogs, grubs, roots, and the
other supplies which Why-Why's mother was accustomed to find concealed
under a large stone in the neighbourhood of the cave.
The poor pious woman, who had always religiously abstained from seeing
her lord's face, and from knowing his name, was now reduced to
destitution. There was no one to grub up pig-nuts for her, nor to
extract insects of an edible sort from beneath the bark of trees. As she
could not identify her invisible husband, she was unable to denounce him
to the wizards, who would, for a consideration, have frightened him out
of his life or into the performance of his duty. Thus, even with the aid
of Why-Why, existence became too laborious for her strength, and she
gradually pined away. As she lay in a half-fainting and almost dying
state, Why-Why rushed out to find the most celebrated local medicine-man.
In half an hour the chief medicine-man appeared, dressed in the skin of a
wolf, tagged about with bones, skulls, dead lizards, and other ornaments
of his official attire. You may see a picture very like him in Mr.
Catlin's book about the Mandans. Armed with a drum and a rattle, he
leaped into the presence of the sick woman, uttering unearthly yells. His
benevolent action and "bedside manner" were in accordance with the
medical science of the time. He merely meant to frighten away the evil
spirit which (according to the received hypothesis) was destroying the
mother of Why-Why. What he succeeded in doing was to make Why-Why's
mother give a faint scream, after which her jaw fell, and her eyes grew
fixed and staring.
The grief of Why-Why was profound. Reckless of consequences, he
declared, with impious publicity, that the law which forbade a wife to
see her own husband, and the medical science which frightened poor women
to death were cruel and ridiculous. As Why-Why (though a promising
child) was still under age, little notice was taken of remarks which were
attributed to the petulance of youth. But when he went further, and
transgressed the law which then forbade a brother to speak to his own
sister, on pain of death, the general indignation was no longer
repressed. In vain did Why-Why plead that if he neglected his sister no
one else would comfort her. His life was spared, but the unfortunate
little girl's bones were dug up by a German savant last year, in a
condition which makes it only too certain that cannibalism was practised
by the early natives of the Mediterranean coast. These incidents then,
namely, the neglect of his unknown father, the death of his mother, and
the execution of his sister, confirmed Why-Why in the belief that radical
social reforms were desirable.
The coming of age of Why-Why was celebrated in the manner usual among
primitive people. The ceremonies were not of a character to increase his
pleasure in life, nor his respect for constituted authority. When he was
fourteen years of age, he was pinned, during his sleep, by four adult
braves, who knocked out his front teeth, shaved his head with sharp chips
of quartzite, cut off the first joint of his little finger, and daubed
his whole body over with clay. They then turned him loose, imposing on
him his name of Why-Why; and when his shaven hair began to show through
the clay daubing, the women of the tribe washed him, and painted him
black and white. The indignation of Why-Why may readily be conceived.
Why, he kept asking, should you shave a fellow's head, knock out his
teeth, cut off his little finger, daub him with clay, and paint him like
a pelican, because he is fourteen years old? To these radical questions,
the braves (who had all lost their own front teeth) replied, that this
was the custom of their fathers. They tried to console him, moreover, by
pointing out that now he might eat oysters, and catch himself a bride
from some hostile tribe, or give his sister in exchange for a wife. This
was little comfort to Why-Why. He had eaten oysters already without
supernatural punishment, and his sister, as we have seen, had suffered
the extreme penalty of the law. Nor could our hero persuade himself that
to club and carry off a hostile girl in the dark was the best way to win
a loving wife. He remained single, and became a great eater of oysters.