"Lest I shouldn't come back?"
"Yes," she said again.
"But I told you I should," He was still holding her hand, trying to read
her downcast face.
"Oh, I knew you would if you could," said Betty. "Only--I couldn't help
thinking--of what you said about--about sacrificing substance
to--shadow. It--was very wrong of me to send you."
She spoke unevenly, with obvious effort. She seemed determined that he
should not have that glimpse into her soul which he so evidently
desired.
"My dear Betty," he said, "I went on my own account as much as on yours.
I think you forget that. Or are you remembering--and regretting--it?"
She had begun to tremble. He laid a steadying hand upon her shoulder.
"No," she said faintly. Then swiftly, impulsively, she raised her face.
"Major Herne, I--I want to tell you something--before you say any more."
"What is it, Betty?" he said.
"Just this," she made answer, speaking very quickly. "I--I am not good
enough for you. I haven't been--straight with you. I've been realizing
it more and more ever since you went away. I--I'm quite despicable. I've
been miserable about it--wretched--all the time you have been away."
Herne's face changed. A certain grimness came into it.
"But, my dear girl," he said, "you never pretended to be in love with
me."
She drew a sharp breath of distress.
"I know," she said. "I know. And I let you go to that dreadful place,
though I knew--before you went--that, whatever happened, it could make
no difference to me. But I hadn't the courage to tell you the truth.
After what passed between us that night, I felt--I couldn't. And so--and
so--I let you go, even though I knew I was deceiving you. Oh, do forgive
me if you can! I've had my punishment. I have been nearly mad with
anxiety lest any harm should come to you."
"I suppose I ought to be grateful for that," Herne said. He still looked
grim, but there was no anger about him. He had taken his hand from her
shoulder, but he still held her trembling fingers in his quiet grasp.
"Don't fret!" he said. "Where's the use? I shall get over it somehow. If
you are quite sure you know your own mind, there is no more to be said."
He spoke with no shadow of emotion. His eyes looked into hers with
absolute steadiness. He even, after a moment, very faintly smiled.
"Except good-bye!" he said. "And perhaps the sooner I say that the
better."
But at this point Betty broke in upon him breathlessly, almost
incoherently.
"Major Herne, I--I don't understand. You--you can say good-bye, of
course--if you wish. But--it will be by your own choice if you do."
"What?" he said.
She snatched her hand suddenly from him.
"I suppose you mean to punish me, to make me pay for my--idiocy.
You--you think--"
"I think that either you or I must be mad," said Herne.
"Then it's you!" flung back Betty half hysterically. "To imagine for one
moment that I--that I meant--that!"
"Meant what?" A sudden note of sternness made itself heard in Herne's
voice. He moved a step forward, and took her shoulders between his
hands, looking at her closely, unsparingly. "Betty," he said, "let us at
least understand one another! Tell me what you meant just now!"