You desire, you say, my impartial thoughts on the subject of an early
marriage, by way of answer to the numberless objections that have been
made by numerous persons to your own. You may remember, when you
consulted me on the occasion, that I thought youth on both sides to be
no objection. Indeed, from the marriages that have fallen under my
observation, I am rather inclined to think that early ones stand the
best chance of happiness. The temper and habits of the young are not
become so stiff and uncomplying as when more advanced in life; they
form more easily to each other, and hence many occasions of disgust
are removed. And if youth has less of that prudence which is necessary
to manage a family, yet the parents and elder friends of young married
persons are generally at hand to afford their advice, which amply
supplies that defect; and by early marriage, youth is sooner formed to
regular and useful life; and possibly some of those accidents or
connections that might have injured the constitution or reputation, or
both, are thereby happily prevented.
Particular circumstances of particular persons may possibly sometimes
make it prudent to delay entering into that state; but in general,
when nature has rendered our bodies fit for it, the presumption is in
nature's favor, that she has not judged amiss in making us desire it.
Late marriages are often attended, too, with this further
inconvenience: that there is not the same chance that the parents will
live to see their offspring educated. "_Late children_," says the
Spanish proverb, "_are early orphans_." A melancholy reflection to
those whose case it may be! With us in America, marriages are
generally in the morning of life; our children are therefore educated
and settled in the world by noon: and thus, our business being done,
we have an afternoon and evening of cheerful leisure to ourselves;
such as our friend at present enjoys. By these early marriages we are
blessed with more children; and from the mode among us, founded by
nature, every mother suckling and nursing her own child, more of them
are raised. Thence the swift progress of population among us,
unparalleled in Europe.
In fine, I am glad you are married, and congratulate you most
cordially upon it. You are now in the way of becoming a useful
citizen; and you have escaped the unnatural state of celibacy for
life, the fate of many here who never intended it, but who, having too
long postponed the change of their condition, find at length that it
is too late to think of it, and so live all their lives in a situation
that greatly lessens a man's value. An odd volume of a set of books
bears not the value of its proportion to the set. What think you of
the odd half of a pair of scissors? It cannot well cut anything; it
may possibly serve to scrape a trencher.
Pray make my compliments and best wishes acceptable to your bride. I
am old and heavy, or I should ere this have presented them in person.
I shall make but small use of the old man's privilege, that of giving
advice to younger friends. Treat your wife always with respect: it
will procure respect to you, not only from her, but from all that
observe it. Never use a slighting expression to her, even in jest; for
slights in jest, after frequent bandyings, are apt to end in angry
earnest. Be studious in your profession, and you will be learned. Be
industrious and frugal, and you will be rich. Be sober and temperate,
and you will be healthy. Be in general virtuous, and you will be
happy: at least, you will, by such conduct, stand the best chance for
such consequences. I pray God to bless you both; being ever your
affectionate friend.