I
I am going to write down some of the history of Harry Penrose, because I
do not think full justice has been done to him, and because there must
be many other young men of his kind who flung themselves into this war
at the beginning of it, and have gone out of it after many sufferings
with the unjust and ignorant condemnation of their fellows. At times, it
may be, I shall seem to digress into the dreary commonplaces of all
war-chronicles, but you will never understand the ruthless progression
of Penrose's tragedy without some acquaintance with each chapter of his
life in the army.
* * * * *
He joined the battalion only a few days before we left Plymouth for
Gallipoli, a shy, intelligent-looking person, with smooth, freckled skin
and quick, nervous movements; and although he was at once posted to my
company we had not become at all intimate when we steamed at last into
Mudros Bay. But he had interested me from the first, and at intervals in
the busy routine of a troopship passing without escort through submarine
waters, I had been watching him and delighting in his keenness and happy
disposition.
It was not my first voyage through the Mediterranean, though it was the
first I had made in a transport, and I liked to see my own earlier
enthusiasm vividly reproduced in him. Cape Spartel and the first glimpse
of Africa; Tangiers and Tarifa and all that magical hour's steaming
through the narrow waters with the pink and white houses hiding under
the hills; Gibraltar Town shimmering and asleep in the noonday sun;
Malta and the bumboat women, carozzes swaying through the narrow,
chattering streets; cool drinks at cafés in a babel of strange tongues;
all these were to Penrose part of the authentic glamour of the East; and
he said so. I might have told him, with the fatuous pomp of wider
experience, that they were in truth but a very distant reflection of the
genuine East; but I did not. For it was refreshing to see any one so
frankly confessing to the sensations of adventure and romance. To other
members of the officers' mess the spectacle of Gibraltar from the sea
may have been more stimulating than the spectacle of Southend (though
this is doubtful); but it is certain that few of them would have
admitted the grave impeachment.
At Malta some of us spent an evening ashore, and sat for a little in a
tawdry, riotous little café, where two poor singing women strove vainly
to make themselves heard above the pandemonium of clinked glasses and
bawled orders; there we met many officers newly returned from the
landing at Cape Helles, some of them with slight bodily wounds, but all
of them with grievous injury staring out of their eyes. Those of them
who would speak at all were voluble with anecdotes of horror and blood.
Most of our own party had not yet lost the light-hearted mood in which
men went to the war in those days; the 'picnic' illusion of war was not
yet dispelled; also, individually, no doubt, we had that curious
confidence of the unblooded soldier that none of these strange, terrible
things could ever actually happen to _us_; we should for ever hang upon
the pleasant fringes of war, sailing in strange seas, and drinking in
strange towns, but never definitely entangled in the more crude and
distasteful circumstances of battle. And if there were any of us with a
secret consciousness that we deceived ourselves, to-night was no time to
tear away the veil. Let there be lights and laughter and wine;
to-morrow, if need be, let us be told how the wounded had drowned in the
wired shallows, and reckon the toll of that unforgettable exploit and
the terrors that were still at work. And so we would not be dragooned
into seriousness by these messengers from the Peninsula; but rather,
with no injury to their feelings, laughed at their croakings and
continued to drink.
But Harry Penrose was different. He was all eagerness to hear every
detail, hideous and heroic.
There was one officer present, from the 29th Division, a man about
thirty, with a tanned, melancholy face and great solemn eyes, which, for
all the horrors he related, seemed to have something yet more horrible
hidden in their depths. Him Harry plied with questions, his reveller's
mood flung impatiently aside; and the man seemed ready to tell him
things, though from his occasional reservations and sorrowful smile I
knew that he was pitying Harry for his youth, his eagerness and his
ignorance.
Around us were the curses of overworked waiters, and the babble of loud
conversations, and the smell of spilt beer; there were two officers
uproariously drunk, and in the distance pathetic snatches of songs were
heard from the struggling singer on the dais. We were in one of the
first outposts of the Empire, and halfway to one of her greatest
adventures. And this excited youth at my side was the only one of all
that throng who was ready to hear the truth of it, and to speak of
death. I lay emphasis on this incident, because it well illustrates his
attitude towards the war at that time (which too many have now
forgotten), and because I then first found the image which alone
reflects the many curiosities of his personality.
He was like an imaginative, inquisitive child; a child that cherishes a
secret gallery of pictures in its mind, and must continually be feeding
this storehouse with new pictures of the unknown; that is not content
with a vague outline of something that is to come, a dentist, or a
visit, or a doll, but will not rest till the experience is safely put
away in its place, a clear, uncompromising picture, to be taken down and
played with at will.
Moreover, he had the fearlessness of a child--but I shall come to that
later.
And so we came to Mudros, threading a placid way between the deceitful
Aegean Islands. Harry loved them because they wore so green and inviting
an aspect, and again I did not undeceive him and tell him how parched
and austere, how barren of comfortable grass and shade he would find
them on closer acquaintance. We steamed into Mudros Bay at the end of an
unbelievable sunset; in the great harbour were gathered regiments of
ships--battleship, cruiser, tramp, transport, and trawler, and as the
sun sank into the western hills, the masts and the rigging of all of
them were radiant with its last rays, while all their decks and hulls
lay already in the soft blue dusk. There is something extraordinarily
soothing in the almost imperceptible motion of a big steamer gliding at
slow speed to her anchorage; as I leaned over the rail of the boat-deck
and heard the tiny bugle-calls float across from the French or English
warships, and watched the miniature crews at work upon their decks, I
became aware that Penrose was similarly engaged close at hand, and it
seemed to me an opportunity to learn something of the history of this
strange young man.
Beginning with his delight in the voyage and all the marvellous romance
of our surroundings, I led him on to speak of himself. Both his parents
had died when he was a boy at school. They had left him enough to go to
Oxford upon (without the help of the Exhibition he had won), and he had
but just completed his second year there when the war broke out. For
some mysterious reason he had immediately enlisted instead of applying
for a commission, like his friends. I gathered--though not from anything
he directly said--that he had had a hard time in the ranks. The majority
of his companions in training had come down from the north with the
first draft of Tynesiders; and though, God knows, the Tynesider as a
fighting man has been unsurpassed in this war, they were a wild, rough
crowd before they became soldiers, and I can understand that for a
high-strung, sensitive boy of his type the intimate daily round of
eating, talking, and sleeping with them, must have made large demands on
his patriotism and grit. But he said it did him good; and it was only
the pestering of his guardian and relations that after six months forced
him to take a commission. He had a curious lack of confidence in his
fitness to be an officer--a feeling which is deplorably absent in
hundreds not half as fit as he was; but from what I had seen of his
handling of his platoon on the voyage (and the men are difficult after a
week or two at sea) I was able to assure him that he need have no
qualms. He was, I discovered, pathetically full of military ambitions;
he dreamed already, he confessed, of decorations and promotions and
glorious charges. In short, he was like many another undergraduate
officer of those days in his eagerness and readiness for sacrifice, but
far removed from the common type in his romantic, imaginative outlook
towards the war. 'Romantic' is the only word, I think, and it is
melancholy for me to remember that even then I said to myself, 'I wonder
how long the romance will last, my son.'
But I could not guess just how terrible was to be its decay.