THE DOCTOR'S DECISION
When Pearl left him so abruptly, Dr. Clay found himself battling
with many emotions. His first impulse was to call her back--tell her
everything. Pearl was not a child--she would know what was best. It
was not fair to deceive her, and that was just what he had done, with
the best intentions.
But something held him back. The very heart of him was sick and full
of bitterness at the sudden slap which fate had given him. His soul
was still stinging with the pain of it. Everything was distorted and
queer, and in the confusion of sensations the outstanding one was the
instinct to hide all knowledge of his condition. No one must know. He
would go to see the old doctor and swear him to secrecy. After all,
his life was his own--he was under obligation to no one to stretch it
out miserably and uselessly.
He would go on as long as he could, and live it out triumphantly.
He would go out like Old Prince. He thought of the hymn which gives
thanks to God, "Who kindly lengthens out our days," and the thought
of it was mingled with something like scorn. He did not want any
lengthening out of his time if there could not be real power, real
service in each day. He would live while he lived, and die when he
had to, and with that resolution he tried to get back his calmness of
spirit.
Looking at himself in the glass, he had to admit his face was haggard,
and thinner than it had been, and he knew he had lost weight. Still,
that could be recovered--he was not going to worry or think about
himself. He had always contended that disease was ninety per cent.
imagination and ten per cent. reality, and now he was going to see.
Every one is under the death sentence; the day is set for each man. "I
am no worse off," he thought, "than I was before--if I could only see
it that way--and I will--I am going to be the Captain of my soul--even
though it may be for a very short cruise--no disease or whimpering
weakness will usurp my place--'Gladly I lived--gladly I died. And I
laid me down with a will,'" he quoted, but his mouth twisted a little
on the words. Life was too sweet. He loved it too well to lay it down
gladly. O no, there could be no pretence of gladness.
He found himself thinking of Pearl, and the tender, loving, caressing
light in her eyes, her impulsive kiss--her honest words of heavenly
sweetness; what a girl she was! He had watched her grow from a little
bright-eyed thing, who always interested him with her wisdom, her
cheerfulness, her devotion to her family, until now, when she had
grown to be a serious-minded, beautiful girl, with a manner full of
repose, dignity, grace--a wonderfully attractive girl--who looked
honestly into his eyes and told him she loved him, and he had had to
turn away from his happiness and tell her it could not be. And he had
seen the dimming of those shining eyes and the tightening of her lips.
He had had to hurt Pearl, and that was the bitterest thought of all.
Again the temptation came to tell her! But the stern voice of
conscience cried out to him that if she knew she would consider
herself bound to him, and would not take her liberty, and the finest
years of her young life would be spent in anxiety and care.
"I might live to be an old man," he said bitterly. "If I were sure I
could drop out soon, it would not matter so much. Pearl would still
have her life ahead of her, and I would come to be but a memory, but
as it is--there's but one straight and honorable course--and I will
take it."
Then he thought of the roses, and wrote a card and a note, and called
Bertie at the Livery Stable to come to the office. When Bertie
arrived, much out of breath, the doctor charged him to be quick in his
errand of delivering them. Bertie was anxious to talk, and volunteered
the information that Pearl Watson was an awful pretty girl, but Mrs.
Crocks had just met her on the street and been talkin' to her a little
while, and she thought Pearl was gettin' pretty stuck up.
"Bertie, dear," the doctor said, not unkindly, "did any one ever tell
you that you talk too easy?"
"Sure they did," said Bertie honestly, "but Mrs. Crocks likes me to
talk."
"O well," the doctor smiled, "you and Mrs. Crocks are not really
dangerous--but Bertie, remember this, silence does not often get any
one into trouble, and if you are ever in doubt about whether to tell
things or not--don't tell them! It's the best way--now, will you try
to remember?"
"Yes, sir," said Bertie pleasantly.
All of which Bertie carefully hid in his heart, but his object in so
doing was not to attain the scriptural sequence--"that he sin not
with his mouth," It was that he might rehearse it accurately to Mrs.
Crocks!
The doctor had forgotten all about the committee who were going to
wait on him that evening to receive his decision regarding the coming
election. His mind had been too full of his own affairs. But promptly
at eight o'clock, his office bell rang, and the gentlemen came in.
It seemed years to the doctor since he had seen them. Life had so
changed for him in the interval. The committee had come back with
greater enthusiasm than ever. Corroborative evidence had been pouring
in; the doctor was the only man who could defeat the present member.
"Doctor, it is sure up to you," said the President, a stocky man,
whose face had a patchy beard resembling a buffalo-robe on which the
moths had played their funny tricks, "and I'll tell you why. The women
are beginning to raise hell all over the country. They have societies
now, and they're holding debates, and getting up plays--and all that.
They have the Government scared. My stars, I remember the time women
didn't bother no more about politics than a yellow dog does about
religion. But that good day is gone. They're up and comin' now, and
comin' with a whoop. Now, that's why we want you,--at least it's one
reason--the women like you--you have a way with them--you listen to
them--and feel sorry over their aches and pains--cure them--if you
can--but the big thing is--you feel sorry. Now, if you will run, the
women will try to make their men vote for you--I don't think any one
of the women will go against you. The men here are mostly for the
Government, and this year they have the bridge at Purple Springs for
a bait. It's goin' on for sure--work for every one--that votes right.
The Government has been in so long, you've just had to be on their
side to hold your job--they have their fingers on everything. You know
our candidate has lost his deposit for three elections--but there's a
chance this year--if you'll run."
Then the field organizer took up the argument. He was a young man sent
out from the city office to rally the faithful and if possible see
that the best candidates were selected. He was a shop-worn young man,
without illusions. He knew life from every angle, and it was a dull
affair in his eyes.
"Politics is a game of wits," he said; "the smartest one wins, and
gets in and divides the slush money. The other side howl--because they
didn't get any. We're sore now because we haven't had a look-in
for fourteen years--we're thirsty and dry--and we long for the
water-brooks--which is, government jobs. There's just one distinction
between the parties," he said, "one is in and one is out! That's all.
Both parties have the same platform too, there is only one principle
involved, that is the principle of re-election. But it really seems as
if our time is coming."
Young Mr. Summersad lighted a cigarette and blew billows of smoke at
the ceiling. His whole bearing was that of a man who had drunk the cup
of life to the very dregs and found even the dregs tasteless and pale.
"You are pessimistic," said the doctor, "you surely take a
materialistic view of the case. Is it really only a matter of getting
in to the public treasury? That hardly seems worth a man's effort; it
looks more like a burglar's job."
"I mean, Clay," said the organizer, with slightly more animation, "the
political game is not a game of sentiment or of high resolves. One man
cannot do much to change the sentiment of a whole province; we must
take things as we find them. People get as good government as they
deserve--always. This year the advantage comes to us. 'It is time for
a change' is always a good rallying cry, and will help us more than
anything."
"What is the opposition platform this year," said the doctor, "what
would I have to believe? Haven't you decided on a program, some sort
of course of action?"
"O sure," replied the other, "we have a great platform--woman
suffrage--banish the bar--direct legislation--we have a radical
platform--just the very thing to catch the people. I tell you
everything is in our favor, and with your popularity here, it should
be a cinch."
The doctor looked at him, without enthusiasm.
"But the platform needn't worry you," he hastened to explain, "it's
not necessarily important--it's a darn good thing to get in on--but
after that--"
"It can be laid away," said the doctor, "for another election. Well
now, as I understand it, the case against the present Government is
just that. They promised prohibition years ago, and got in on that
promise--but broke it joyously, and canned the one man who wanted to
stand for it--that's why they deserve defeat and have deserved it all
these years. But if the Opposition have the same ethics, what's the
use of changing. Better keep the robbers in we know, than fly to
others that we know not of."
While the organizer had been speaking, the remainder of the committee
were vaguely uncomfortable. He was not getting anywhere; he was
spoiling everything. They knew the doctor better than he did.
The doctor stood up, and there was something about the action which
announced the adjournment of the meeting.
"It does not appeal to me," he said, "not as outlined by you. It's
too sodden, too deeply selfish. I see no reason for any man who has a
fairly decent, self-respecting job, to give it up and devote his time
to politics, if you have given me a correct picture of it."
The organizer became deeply in earnest:--
"Look here, Clay," he said, "don't be hasty. I'm telling you the truth
about things, that's all. You can be as full of moral passion as
you like--the fuller the better. The Opposition can always be the
Simon-pure reformers. I'm not discouraging you--in fact, we want you
to be that."
The doctor interrupted him, impatiently:--
"But I must not expect anything to come of it. Moral reform--and all
that--is fine for election dope, but governments have no concern with
it, these promises would not be carried out."
"I am not saying what we mean," said Mr. Summersad, with abundant
caution; "I say we want to defeat the Government--that's our business.
We want to get in--further than that we have no concern. The new
Premier will set our policy. But if you ask me my opinion, I do not
mind telling you that I don't think any government of men are very
keen on letting the women vote--why should they be? But there's always
a way out. What will happen is this--if our fellows get in, they will
grant a plebiscite, men only voting of course, and it will go strong
against the women--but that will let us out."
The doctor's eyes snapped:--
"That's surely a coward's way out," he said, "and why should any woman
have to ask for what is her right. Women, although they are not so
strong as men, do more than half the work, and bear children besides,
and yet men have been mean enough to snatch the power away from them
and keep it. Well, you have certainly been frank, Mr. Summersad, I
must thank you for that. I will be equally frank. I do not see
that there is anything to choose between the two parties. If your
presentation of the case is correct, the country is in a bad way, and
the political life is a re-incarnation of that fine old game of 'pussy
wants a corner!' I never did see much in it, so I will decline
the nomination. I am sorry, Mr. Gilchrist," he said to the local
President. His words had a ring of finality.
When the committee were leaving they met Miss Keith, of Hampton, on
the street. Miss Keith was worth looking at, with her white fox furs,
high-heeled shoes and long black ear-rings. Miss Keith carried a muff
as big as a sheaf of wheat, and a sparkling bead-bag dangled from her
wrist. Miss Keith's complexion left nothing to be desired. When she
passed the committee there came to them the odor of wood violets. The
committee were sufficiently interested to break into a group on the
corner and so be able to turn around and watch her, without appearing
to stop for that purpose.
She went into the doctor's office.
"By gum," said the President, looking at the door through which she
had disappeared, "don't these women beat all? They go where they
like--they do as they like--they wear what they like--they don't care
what men think, any more. They're bold--that's what they are! and I
don't know as I believe in lettin' them vote--By Gosh!"
The organizer raised his hand in warning, and spoke sternly.
"Hold your tongue," he said, "they're a long way from votin'. Believe
what you like--no one cares what you believe--but sit tight on it! I
talked too much just now. Let's learn our lesson."
Bertie, whose other name was now lost in oblivion, and who was known
as "Bertie Crocks" for purposes of identification, standing at the
corner of the "Horse Repository," saw Miss Keith entering the doctor's
office, and wondered again how any one ever thought a small town dull.