"Look here," said I; "you've stuck it down wrong again."
"Awfully sorry," said Langrish; "the printer chaps made a little slip
over the Christian name, but all the rest seems right. It's wonderful
how sharp they are, isn't it?"
"But you're going to have it corrected, surely?" said I.
"Why, it would cost a frightful lot!" protested the company. "We might
alter it in ink, but that would only call attention to it. Bless you,
no one will notice it. They'll put it down to a printer's error."
I was by no means satisfied, but their delight at the whole performance
was so unbounded that it was impossible to be as angry as I felt.
"It'll draw, and no mistake," said Trimble, who had evidently never seen
his name in print before. "Jolly well drawn up of you, Lang."
"Oh," said Langrish modestly, "when you know what you want to say, it's
easy enough to stick it down."
"That's why you stuck down 'Sarah,' I suppose," said I, rather crossly.
"I never knew such a kid as you," retorted Langrish; "you seem to fancy
nobody can think of anything but you and your washerwoman."
The conversation was drifting on to dangerous ground, and Warminster
promptly changed the subject.
"The thing now will be to put the papers about. I vote we each take a
batch and give them round."
"We might shove them under the fellows' doors," said Coxhead.
"The best way will be to do it in Big Hall," said the more practical
Purkis. "One or two of us can easily get in ten minutes early, and
stick one on every chap's place."
"But suppose you stick one on a day boy's place?" I suggested.
"What's the odds? the paper tells him he's out of it," replied Purkis.
It occurred to me that this would not cheer the day boy very much;
still, on the whole, Purkis's suggestion seemed the best.
"I tell you what," said Langrish, "I beg to move and second that the
President be authorised to stick round the papers."
"I third and fourth that," said Trimble.
"Carried unanimously," said Langrish.
"Look here, one of you had better do it," said I, feeling a little
alarmed at this imposing honour; "you know the way better."
"That's where you've the pull," said Purkis; "you're a new kid, they
won't interfere with you. Big Hall's at five, and you can easily slide
in at a quarter to, and do the trick. Hullo, there's bell."
School that morning went uncomfortably for me. I escaped being "lagged"
for my neglect of preparation, chiefly owing to the friendly prompting I
received from Dicky Brown. But it was a time of anxiety and
trepidation, and my nerves were somewhat strained before it was over.
The shock of the day, however, awaited me as I got outside on my way to
the fields.
A small youth of my own size accosted me.
"I say, are you the new chap?"
"What new chap?"
"The new chap that Redwood told to fetch his belt."
"Yes," said I, turning a little pale.
"All right. You've got to go to him, sharp."
"I tried to give it him back yesterday, really I did; but I was
stopped," said I. "Do you think I'll get in a row?"
"I wouldn't be in your shoes, that's all I know," remarked the messenger
brutally. "It'll be all the worse if you don't cut."
"Where is he?"
"In the captain's room at the School House."
I went off with my heart in my boots. And I had hoped so much to show
up well to Redwood! It was all Jarman's fault, and I wrote down yet
another grudge against him in my mental book.
The captain was alone, and evidently expecting me, as he rose and came
to meet me when I appeared.
"Here you are, then, youngster," said he, in a tone which, if it meant a
licking, was a very deceptive one.
"I'm very sorry," said I; "I tried to bring the belt round yesterday
evening, but--"
"Hang the belt!" said the captain. "That's not what I want you for.
Why didn't you tell me what happened at home yesterday afternoon?"
Then it was another row altogether I was in for! What, I wondered, had
I done! Surely he didn't suspect me of having pushed his young sister
into the water?
"I didn't like, while the match was on. I didn't know Mamie had tumbled
in, or I would have stopped her."
"But you fished her out?" he asked.
"I told Annie to take her and dry her," said I, wondering where the blow
was going to fall. "You see, she went upstairs for the belt, and it was
when she had gone it happened. I don't think it was her fault."
To my amazement Redwood laughed and clapped me on the back.
"You young donkey, don't you know you saved Mamie's life, and I want to
say 'Thank you,' to you?"
This unexpected _denouement_ alarmed me almost as much as my previous
misgivings.
"Oh no, really I didn't," said I; "she was close to the edge."
"Another inch or two and she would have been in six feet of water," said
he. Then, with a friendly laugh, he added--
"You may not have meant to save her life; but you did, and must take the
consequences. My mother wants you to come to tea to-morrow. Call here
for me after evening chapel, and we'll go together. Good-bye now, and
thanks, youngster."
I could hardly tell if I was on my head or my heels as I walked back.
It had never occurred to me till now that I had done anything out of the
common in fishing Miss Mamie out of her muddy bath. Indeed, I still
felt I was getting credit I did not deserve, and blushed to myself. As
to the invitation for to-morrow, that seemed to me a burst of glory
quite past my present comprehension, and I resolved to treasure it as a
secret in my own bosom until at least I had made sure it was not a
dream.
Before then, however, I had less pleasant work on hand. My comrades did
not fail to remind me several times during the afternoon of my
"promise," as they called it, to distribute the Conversation Club
circulars in Great Hall, and adjured me not to run it too fine. The
consequence was that, at a quarter to five, I was convoyed, with the
bundle of papers under my arm, to the door of the dining-hall, and
gently shoved inside, with all retreat cut off until my task was done.
Some of the servants who were laying the tables objected to my presence,
but on my explaining I had been sent to do it, they allowed me without
interruption to lay a copy of the precious document on each of the five
hundred plates. I had barely concluded this arduous duty when the bell
commenced to ring, and the fellows in twos and threes began to drop in.
It was all I could do to affect unconsciousness, as from a modest
retreat near the door I marked the effect of the announcement on Low
Heath generally. At first there was a note of surprise; then, as one
after another read on, a titter, and finally a general laugh, which was
only checked by the entrance of the masters and the call to grace.
I had--being a stranger to the place--distributed my favours among the
masters quite as liberally as among the boys, and presently, with
horror, perceived Dr England rise in his place with his copy in his
hand.
"Whew!" whistled Langrish, "there's a row on, I fancy."
"Serve you right if there is," said Trimble. "Why ever did you put them
on _that_ table?"
"How was I to know?" groaned I.
"What boy," said the doctor, when silence prevailed, "what boy has been
putting this foolish paper round the hall?"
Oh dear! How I wished I was safe at home!
"Please, sir, I did," said I, rising meekly in my place.
"Your name?"
"Jones iv., please, sir."
"Then come at once, Jones iv., and collect them again, every one, and
write out two hundred lines. Let dinner proceed now."
If the object of the promoters of the Philosophical Conversation Club
had been cheap advertisement, they must have been amply gratified.
Hercules never performed any labour equal to mine that afternoon. The
masters handed me up their copies gravely and reproachfully; but the Low
Heathens generally made sport of my misery. Scarcely one in ten would
part with his rare broadside, and those who did made it manifest that
they had the contents by heart. The unfortunate "misprint" of my
Christian name, moreover, was the occasion for much ribald comment.
When, finally, I reached the quarters of my own particular comrades, I
received more kicks than papers. They were unkind enough to say I had
mulled the whole thing, and to promise me untold penalties when they got
me in the privacy of the faggery.
At last, when the pudding was almost vanishing, I sat down to my hard-
earned meal. But it mattered little, for I could have eaten nothing.
Be that as it may, the Philosophical Conversation Club was able to boast
that afternoon that it had attracted the attention and interest of every
member of the school, from the headmaster down to the junior fag. And
few school clubs can boast as much as that!