THE EVIDENCE OF POPULARITY.
THE day came for Walter’s examination. It was pleasant, and the
Portville people were out in full force. Conspicuous among them were
General Wall and Squire Griffiths, the latter looking exceedingly wise
with his stiff, iron-gray hair rising erect over his brow like a
palisade.
Walter conducted the examination, but after every recitation inquired of
the trustees if they had any questions to ask. Once in a while General
Wall asked one, but in general contented himself with saying, blandly,
“The recitation has been quite satisfactory, Mr. Howard.”
After the recitation in geography, Squire Griffiths, who had studied up
one or two questions in the atlas before coming, thought it time to take
part.
“Can you tell me,” he said, straightening himself up with dignity, after
a preparatory cough, “can you tell me where is the river Nigger?”
I have attempted to indicate the squire’s pronunciation.
There was a little titter in the class, and Walter himself, though he
preserved his gravity, looked a little red in the face.
“Answer the gentleman’s question,” he said.
“In Africa,” said one of the girls.
“Quite right,” said the squire, nodding wisely.
“Where is the Island of Madagascar?”
“In the Mediterranean Sea,” answered promptly the poorest scholar in the
class.
Walter was about to correct the mistake, when, to his surprise, Squire
Griffiths said: “Correct. Mr. Howard, your class is quite purficient. I
have no more questions to ask.”
“First class in arithmetic,” called Walter, hurriedly, evidently anxious
to cover up the squire’s mistake.
It was generally agreed that the examination passed off satisfactorily.
A few of the boys declaimed, and some of the girls read compositions.
When the end was reached, Walter called on General Wall to make a
speech; the latter did so. He was a little pompous and condescending in
his manner, but what he said was grammatical and complimentary to the
teacher.
“Won’t you make a few remarks, Squire Griffiths?” said Walter.
The squire rose, and, putting one hand under his coattail, glanced
impressively around him, through his iron bowed spectacles, and spoke as
follows:
“MY YOUNG FRIENDS:--I am gratterfied to meet you on this occasion. As
one of the school trustees, it was my duty to come and see what
purficiency you had made in your studies. I have listened to your
recitations with--ahem--with gratterfication. I have been most
gratterfied by your purficiency in joggrify--here some of the scholars
were seen to smile--joggrify was allers my favorite study when I was a
lad and went to school. But when I was a youngster we didn’t have so
good schools as you have. The teachers wasn’t so well eddicated. But we
did as well as we could. I shall always be glad that I got an eddication
when I was young. But for my improvin’ my time I shouldn’t have riz to
be one of the school trustees. I hope, my young friends, you will
improve the importunities the town has given you to get a good
eddication. If you study hard, you will get up in the world, and your
feller-citizens will respect you. I congratterlate your teacher on your
purficiency, especially in joggrify. It is one of the most important
studies you have. If Christopher Columbus hadn’t studied joggrify when
he was a boy, how could he have discovered America, and if he hadn’t
discovered it, where would we be at this moment?” Here the orator
paused, as if for a response; but none being made, he went on: “But I
didn’t mean to speak so long. I congratterlate you on having so good a
teacher, and I am gratterfied to say that he will be your teacher next
term.”
Here the scholars applauded, and Walter was really pleased by this
evidence of his popularity. Squire Griffiths was also pleased, for in
his foolish vanity he supposed that it was he who had been applauded,
and not the allusion to Walter.
“My young friends,” he continued, “I thank you for your respectful
attention to my remarks. Go on as you have begun, and you will never
regret it. Let your motto be ‘Excelsior!’”
With this effective ending he sat down, and the boys mischievously
applauded, greatly to the “gratterfication” of the squire, who secretly
thought that he had done himself great credit. He was one of those vain
and pompous old men, who like to hear themselves talk, and are always
ready to assume any responsibility, wholly unaware of their own
deficiencies. But Squire Griffiths was well-to-do in worldly affairs,
and the town offices which were given him were a tribute to his money,
and not to his ability. Of course, it was a glaring absurdity to put
such a man in charge of the schools, but fortunately his associates in
office were men of greater education than himself.
Among the spectators was Miss Melinda Jones, the poetess. Considering
her literary claims, she could not well be absent from an occasion of
this character. Besides, we know the interest she felt in the teacher.
At the close of the exercises, she came to our hero to tender her
congratulations.
“Mr. Howard,” she said, “I can hardly tell you how much I have enjoyed
this day. It carried me back to my girlhood days, when I, too, was one
of the eager aspirants for knowledge. Oh, could I but have enjoyed the
instructions of a superior teacher like yourself, how happy should I
have been!”
“You flatter me, Miss Jones.”
“Indeed, I do not. I leave that to the men who are, alas! sad
flatterers, as we poor girls know too well. The recitations were
beautiful. I could have listened for hours longer.”
“I fancy you would have got hungry after a while, if, indeed, poetesses
are ever hungry.”
“Now, Mr. Howard, I shall really scold you,” said Melinda, who was
always delighted to be recognized as a poetess.
“I am sorry I did not call upon you for a speech, Miss Jones; I would if
I had thought of it.”
“I should positively have sunk into the ground, if you had been so
cruel. You can’t think how diffident I am, Mr. Howard.”
“Diffidence and genius are generally found in company.”
“Oh, you sad flatterer!” said Miss Jones, tossing her ringlets in
delight.
But the conversation must not be prolonged. Miss Jones was hoping to
secure Walter’s escort home; but he was backward about offering it, and
finally she was obliged to go home with her brother.
The next day Walter left Portville for the mines.
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