I've seen more than one hundred "Democracies" rise and fall in New
York City in the last quarter of a century. At least a half-dozen new
so-called Democratic organizations are formed every year. All of them go
in to down Tammany and take its place, but they seldom last more than
a year or two, while Tammany's like the everlastin' rocks, the eternal
hills and the blockades on the "L" road--it goes on forever.
I recall offhand the County Democracy, which was the only real opponent
Tammany has had in my time, the Irving Hall Democracy, the New
York State Democracy, the German-American Democracy, the Protection
Democracy, the Independent County Democracy, the Greater New York
Democracy, the Jimmy O'Brien Democracy, the Delicatessen Dealers'
Democracy, the Silver Democracy, and the Italian Democracy. Not one of
them is livin' today, although I hear somethin' about the ghost of the
Greater New York Democracy bein' seen on Broadway once or twice a year.
In the old days of the County Democracy, a new Democratic organization
meant some trouble for Tammany--for a time anyhow. Nowadays a new
Democracy means nothin' at all except that about a dozen bone-hunters
have got together for one campaign only to try to induce Tammany to give
them a job or two, or in order to get in with the reformers for the same
purpose. You might think that it would cost a lot of money to get up
one of these organizations and keep it goin' for even one campaign,
but, Lord bless you! it costs next to nothin'. Jimmy O'Brien brought the
manufacture of "Democracies" down to an exact science, and reduced the
cost of production so as to bring it within the reach of all. Any man
with $50 can now have a "Democracy" of his own.
I've looked into the industry, and can give rock-bottom figures. Here's
the items of cost of a new "Democracy
A dinner to twelve bone-hunters $12.00
A speech on Jeffersonian Democracy 00.00
A proclamation of principles (typewriting) 2.00
Rent of a small room one month for headquarters 12.00
Stationery 2.00
Twelve secondhand chairs 6.00
One secondhand table 2.00
Twenty-nine cuspidors 9.00
Sign painting 5.00
Total ------
$50.00
Is there any reason for wonder, then, that "Democracies" spring up all
over when a municipal campaign is comm' on? If you land even one small
job, you get a big return on your investment. You don't have to pay for
advertisin' in the papers. The New York papers tumble over one another
to give columns to any new organization that comes out against Tammany.
In describin' the formation of a "Democracy" on the $50 basis, accordin'
to the items I give, the papers would say somethin' like this: "The
organization of the Delicatessen Democracy last night threatens the
existence of Tammany Hall. It is a grand move for a new and pure
Democracy in this city. Well may the Tammany leaders be alarmed; panic
has already broke loose in Fourteenth Street. The vast crowd that
gathered at the launching of the new organization, the stirrin' speeches
and the proclamation of principles mean that, at last, there is an
uprisin' that will end Tammany's career of corruption. The Delicatessen
Democracy will open in a few days spacious headquarters where all true
Democrats may gather and prepare for the fight."
Say, ain't some of the papers awful gullible about politics? Talk
about come-ons from Iowa or Texas they ain't in it with the childlike
simplicity of these papers.
It's a wonder to me that more men don't go into this kind of
manufacturin' industry. It has bigger profits generally than the
green-goods business and none of the risks. And you don't have to invest
as much as the green-goods men. Just see what good things some of these
"Democracies" got in the last few years! The New York State Democracy in
1897 landed a Supreme Court Justiceship for the man who manufactured the
concern--a fourteen-year term at $17,500 a year, that is $245,000. You
see, Tammany was rather scared that year and was bluffed into givin'
this job to get the support of the State Democracy which, by the way,
went out of business quick and prompt the day after it got this big
plum. The next year the German Democracy landed a place of the same
kind. And then see how the Greater New York Democracy worked the game
on the reformers in 1901! The men who managed this concern were former
Tammanyites who had lost their grip; yet they made the Citizens' Union
innocents believe that they were the real thing in the way of reformers,
and that they had 100,000 voter back of them. They got the Borough
President of Manhattan, the President of the Board of Aldermen, the
Register and a lot of lesser places, it was the greatest bunco game of
modern times.
And then, in 1894, when Strong was elected mayor, what a harvest it
was for all the little "Democracies", that was made to order that year!
Every one of them got somethin' good. In one case, all the nine men in
an organization got jobs payin' from $2000 to $5000. I happen to know
exactly what it cost to manufacture that organization. It was $42.04.
They left out the stationery, and had only twenty-three cuspidors. The
extra four cents was for two postage stamps.
The only reason I can imagine why more men don't go into this industry
is because they don't know about it. And just here it strikes me that
it might not be wise to publish what I've said. Perhaps if it gets to
be known what a snap this manufacture of "Democracies" is, all the
green-goods men, the bunco-steerers, and the young Napoleons of finance
will go into it and the public will be humbugged more than it has been.
But, after all, what difference would it make? There's always a certain
number of suckers and a certain number of men lookin' for a chance to
take them in, and the suckers are sure to be took one way or another.
It's the everlastin' law of demand and supply.