A hard bargainer sent the following advertisement to a paper: “A
lady in delicate health wishes to meet with a useful companion.
She must be domestic, musical, an early riser, amiable, of
good appearance, and have some experience in nursing. A total
abstainer preferred. Comfortable home. No salary.” A few days
afterward the advertiser received by express a basket, labeled,
“This side up, with care; perishable.” On opening it, she found
a tabby cat with a letter tied to its tail. It ran thus:
“Madam, in response to your advertisement, I am happy to furnish
you with a very useful companion, which you will find exactly
suited to your requirements. She is domestic, a good vocalist,
an early riser, possesses an amiable disposition, and is
considered handsome. She has had great experience as a nurse,
having brought up a large family. I need scarcely add that she
is a total abstainer. As salary is no object to her, she will
serve you faithfully in return for a comfortable home.” (Text.)
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