(_As they appear from certain Answers to Correspondents_)
VANITAS.--You are not bound to tell him. If the bright golden colour of
your naturally dark hair is due to the excellent preparation recommended
in another column, and he tells you he does not admire dark girls, why
not keep on? The bottles are really quite cheap at nineteen and eleven.
Of course, if it weighs upon your conscience, you might give him a hint,
but he will probably talk about deceit, and behave in the brutally
outspoken male manner so many readers complain of.
AMELIA.--Have you not been rather indiscreet? You should never let him
see you cry before you are married. Afterwards it has its uses.
BLANCHE AMORY.--Cheer up. As you very cleverly put it, history does
repeat itself. You are now once more in a position to undertake a
further instalment of _Mes Larmes_. No. We are overstocked with poetry.
The man, of course, is beneath contempt.
TWO STRINGS.--Your _fiancé_ must be a perfect _Othello_. It is, as you
justly remark, monstrous that he should object to your cousin seven
times removed taking you to the theatre once or twice a week. Of course
he is a relative.
SWEET-AND-TWENTY.--Your remarks about tastes in common are perfectly
correct. So long as you both collect postcards you will always be able
to give pleasure to each other at a distance.
BUSINESS GIRL.--If you have found out that he only gave twenty-five
pounds for your engagement ring, it may be, as you shrewdly observe,
that he has a contract with the tradesman for a periodical supply of
such articles. The fact that his income is under a hundred a year makes
it only the more probable that he would adopt such an arrangement for
economy's sake. Be very careful.
PITTI-SING.--Your only course is to box his ears. Let us know how you
get on.
BELLONA.--Sorry to disappoint you, but this is not the place to describe
the undress uniform of the Grenadier Guards.
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[Illustration: H'M!
_Stern Father._ "What an unearthly hour that young fellow stops till
every night, Doris. What does your mother say about it?"
_Daughter._ "She says men haven't altered a bit, pa."]
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[Illustration: THE BABES IN THE WOOD
_Ernest._ "I see you are getting on, foreman."
_Foreman._ "Yes, sir; we shall have the walls plastered to-morrow."
_Agatha._ "Oh, Ernest, don't let's have plaster! You never see it now;
everybody has wall-papers, and you can get lovely ones quite cheap!"]
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