_Paterfamilias._ The fourteenth of February. Dear me, surely this is a
memorable date--somehow.
_Materfamilias._ To be sure, father. It's Valentine's Day.
_Eldest Daughter._ Is it really true, mother, that people used to
receive pictures just as we do Christmas cards?
_Second Daughter._ Come, _you_ can surely remember. It's not so very
long for you.
_Eldest Daughter._ Don't be spiteful! Remember, miss, there's only a
couple of years between us!
_Second Daughter._ Really! From our appearance there might be a decade!
_Son and Heir._ Don't quarrel, girls! And here's the post!
_Enter servant with a solitary letter._
_Chorus._ What is it?
_Paterfamilias_ (_perusing a bill_). Not a Valentine!
* * * * *
"THE ACT OF UNION."--Getting married.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _That dear old Mrs. Wilkinson_ (_who can't always express
exactly what she means to say, meeting Jones with the girl of his
choice_). "And is this young lady your _fiasco_, Mr. Jones?"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Brown._ "I say, old man, who's that very plain elderly
lady you were walking with--now sitting here?"
_Smith_ (_the impecunious, who has married money_). "Oh, that's my
wife."
_Brown._ "Your wife! But"--(_lowering his voice_)--"She has only one
eye--and so awfully--I beg your pardon--but----"
_Smith_ (_pleasantly_). "You needn't whisper, old man. She's _deaf_"]
* * * * *