THE GOOD WOMAN OF THE TOLL-GATE DIRECTS ME TO W.W.--MY RECEPTION BY HIM.
The resolution of which I informed the reader at the close of the last
chapter, being put into practice, I continued my flight on the public
road; and a little after the sun rose, I came in sight of a toll-gate
again. For a moment all the events which followed my passing a toll-gate
on Wednesday morning, came fresh to my recollection, and produced some
hesitation; but at all events, said I, I will try again.
On arriving at the gate, I found it attended by an elderly woman, whom I
afterwards learned was a widow, and an excellent Christian woman. I asked
her if I was in Pennsylvania. On being informed that I was, I asked her if
she knew where I could get employ? She said she did not; but advised me to
go to W.W., a Quaker, who lived about three miles from her, whom I would
find to take an interest in me. She gave me directions which way to take;
I thanked her, and bade her good morning, and was very careful to follow
her directions.
In about half an hour I stood trembling at the door of W.W. After
knocking, the door opened upon a comfortably spread table; the sight of
which seemed at once to increase my hunger sevenfold. Not daring to enter,
I said I had been sent to him in search of employ. "Well," said he, "Come
in and take thy breakfast, and get warm, and we will talk about it; thee
must be cold without any coat." "_Come in and take thy breakfast, and get
warm!_" These words spoken by a stranger, but with such an air of simple
sincerity and fatherly kindness, made an overwhelming impression upon my
mind. They made me feel, spite of all my fear and timidity, that I had, in
the providence of God, found a friend and a home. He at once gained my
confidence; and I felt that I might confide to him a fact which I had, as
yet, confided to no one.
From that day to this, whenever I discover the least disposition in my
heart to disregard the wretched condition of any poor or distressed
persons with whom I meet, I call to mind these words--"_Come in and take
thy breakfast, and get warm_." They invariably remind me of what I was at
that time; my condition was as wretched as that of any human being can
possibly be, with the exception of the loss of health or reason. I had but
four pieces of clothing about my person, having left all the rest in the
hands of my captors. I was a starving fugitive, without home or friends--a
reward offered for my person in the public papers--pursued by cruel
manhunters, and no claim upon him to whose door I went. Had he turned me
away, I must have perished. Nay, he took me in, and gave me of his food,
and shared with me his own garments. Such treatment I had never before
received at the hands of any white man.
A few such men in slaveholding America, have stood, and even now stand,
like Abrahams and Lots, to stay its forthcoming and well-earned and just
judgment.
The limits of this work compel me to pass over many interesting incidents
which occurred during my six months' concealment in that family. I must
confine myself only to those which will show the striking providence of
God, in directing my steps to the door of W.W., and how great an influence
the incidents of that six months has had upon all my subsequent history.
My friend kindly gave me employ to saw and split a number of cords of
wood, then lying in his yard, for which he agreed with me for liberal pay
and board. This inspired me with great encouragement. The idea of
beginning to earn something was very pleasant. Next; we confidentially
agreed upon the way and means of avoiding surprise, in case any one should
come to the house as a spy, or with intention to arrest me. This afforded
still further relief, as it convinced me that the whole family would now
be on the look out for such persons.
The next theme of conversation was with reference to my education.
"Can thee read or write any, James?" was the question put to me the
morning after my arrival, by W.W.
"No, sir, I cannot; my duties as a blacksmith have made me acquainted with
the figures on the common mechanics' square. There was a day-book kept in
the shop, in which the overseer usually charged the smithwork we did for
the neighbours. I have spent entire Sabbaths looking over the pages of
that book; knowing the names of persons to whom certain pieces of work
were charged, together with their prices, I strove anxiously to learn to
write in this way. I got paper, and picked up feathers about the yard, and
made ink of ---- berries. My quills being too soft, and my skill in making
a pen so poor, that I undertook some years ago to make a steel pen.[A] In
this way I have learnt to make a few of the letters, but I cannot write my
own name, nor do I know the letters of the alphabet."
[Footnote A: This attempt was as early as 1822.]
_W.W., (handing a slate and pencil.)_--"Let me see how thee makes letters;
try such as thou hast been able to make easily."
A.B.C.L.G.
_P.W., (wife of W.W.)_--"Why, those are better than I can make."
_W.W._--"Oh, we can soon get thee in the way, James."
Arithmetic and astronomy became my favourite studies. W.W. was an
accomplished scholar; he had been a teacher for some years, and was
cultivating a small farm on account of ill-health, which had compelled him
to leave teaching. He is one of the most far-sighted and practical men I
ever met with. He taught me by familiar conversations, illustrating his
themes by diagrams on the slate, so that I caught his ideas with ease and
rapidity.
I now began to see, for the first time, the extent of the mischief slavery
had done to me. Twenty-one years of my life were gone, never again to
return, and I was as profoundly ignorant, comparatively, as a child five
years old. This was painful, annoying, and humiliating in the extreme. Up
to this time, I recollected to have seen one copy of the New Testament,
but the entire Bible I had never seen, and had never heard of the
Patriarchs, or of the Lord Jesus Christ. I recollected to have heard two
sermons, but had heard no mention in them of Christ, or the way of life
by Him. It is quite easy to imagine, then, what was the state of my mind,
having been reared in total moral midnight; it was a sad picture of mental
and spiritual darkness.
As my friend poured light into my mind, I saw the darkness; it amazed and
grieved me beyond description. Sometimes I sank down under the load, and
became discouraged, and dared not hope that I could ever succeed in
acquiring knowledge enough, to make me happy, or useful to my
fellow-beings.
My dear friend, W.W., however, had a happy tact to inspire me with
confidence; and he, perceiving my state of mind, exerted himself, not
without success, to encourage me. He cited to me various instances of
coloured persons, of whom I had not heard before, and who had
distinguished themselves for learning, such as Bannicker, Wheatley, and
Francis Williams.
How often have I regretted that the six months I spent in the family of
W.W., could not have been six years. The danger of recapture, however,
rendered it utterly imprudent that I should remain longer; and early in
the month of March, while the ground was covered with the winter's snow, I
left the bosom of this excellent family, and went forth once more to try
my fortune among strangers.
My dear reader, if I could describe to you the emotions I felt when I left
the threshold of W.W.'s door, you could not fail to see how deplorable is
the condition of the fugitive slave, often for months and years after he
has escaped the immediate grasp of the tyrant. When I left my parents, the
trial was great, but I had now to leave a friend who had done more for me
than parents could have done as slaves; and hence I felt an endearment to
that friend which was heightened by a sense of the important relief he had
afforded me in the greatest need, and hours of pleasant and highly
profitable intercourse.
About a month previous to leaving the house of W.W., a small circumstance
occurred one evening, which I only name to shew the harassing fears and
dread in which I lived during most of the time I was there. He had a
brother-in-law living some ten miles distant--he was a friend to the
slave; he often came unexpectedly and spent a few hours--sometimes a day
and a night. I had not, however, ever known him to come at night. One
night about nine o'clock, after I had gone to bed, (my lodging being just
over the room in which W.W. and his wife were sitting,) I heard the door
open and a voice ask, "Where is the boy?" The voice sounded to me like the
voice of my master; I was sure it must be his. I sprang and listened for a
moment--it seemed to be silent; I heard nothing, and then it seemed to me
there was a confusion. There was a window at the head of my bed, which I
could reach without getting upon the floor: it was a single sash and
opened upon hinges. I quickly opened this window and waited in a perfect
tremour of dread for further development. There was a door at the foot of
the stairs; as I heard that door open, I sprang for the window, and my
head was just out, when the gentle voice of my friend W.W. said,
"James?"[A] "Here," said I, "---- has come, and he would like to have thee
put up his horse." I drew a breath of relief, but my strength and presence
of mind did not return for some hours, I slept none that night; for a
moment I could doze away, but the voice would sound in my ears, "Where is
that boy?" and it would seem to me it must be the tyrant in quest of his
weary prey, and would find myself starting again.
[Footnote A: If W.W. had ascended the stairs without calling, I should
certainly have jumped out of the window.]
From that time the agitation of my mind became so great that I could not
feel myself safe. Every day seemed to increase my fear, till I was unfit
for work, study or rest. My friend endeavoured, but in vain, to get me to
stay a week longer.
The events of the spring proved that I had not left too soon. As soon as
the season for travelling fairly opened, active search was made, and my
master was seen in a town, twenty miles in advance of where I had spent my
six months.
The following curious fact also came out. That same brother-in-law who
frightened me, was putting up one evening at a hotel some miles off, and
while sitting quietly by himself in one part of the room, he overheard a
conversation between a travelling pedler and several gossippers of the
neighbourhood, who were lounging away the evening at the hotel.
PEDLER.--"Do you know one W.W. somewhere about here?"
GOSSIPER.--"Yes, he lives ---- miles off."
PED.--"I understand he had a black boy with him last winter, I wonder if
he is there yet?"
GOS.--"I don't know, he most always has a runaway nigger with him."
PED.--"I should like to find out whether that fellow is there yet."
BROTHER-IN-LAW, (turning about.)--"What does thee know about that boy?"
PED.--"Well he is a runaway."
BROTHER-IN-LAW.--"Who did he run away from?"
PED.--"From Col ---- in ----."
BROTHER-IN-LAW.--"How did thee find out that fact?"
PED.--"Well, I have been over there peddling."
BROTHER-IN-LAW.--"Where art thou from?"
PED.--"I belong in Conn."
BROTHER-IN-LAW.--"Did thee see the boy's master?"
PED.--"Yes."
BROTHER-IN-LAW.--"What did he offer thee to find the boy?"
PED.--"I agreed to find out where he was, and let him know, and if he got
him, I was to receive ----."
BROTHER-IN-LAW.--"How didst thou hear the boy had been with W.W."
PED.--"Oh, he is known to be a notorious rascal for enticing away, and
concealing slaves; he'll get himself into trouble yet, the slaveholders
are on the look out for him."
BROTHER-IN-LAW.--"W.W. is my brother-in-law; the boy of whom thou speakest
is not with him, and to save thee the trouble of abusing him, I can
moreover say, he is no rascal."
PED.--"He may not be there now, but it is because he has sent him off. His
master heard of him, and from the description, he is sure it must have
been his boy. He could tell me pretty nigh where he was; he said he was a
fine healthy boy, twenty-one, a first-rate blacksmith; he would not have
taken a thousand dollars for him."
BROTHER-IN-LAW.--"I know not where the boy is, but I have no doubt he is
worth more to himself than he ever was to his master, high as he fixes
the price on him; and I have no doubt thee will do better to pursue thy
peddling honestly, than to neglect it for the sake of serving
negro-hunters at a venture."
All this happened within a month or two after I left my friend. One fact
which makes this part of the story deeply interesting to my own mind, is,
that some years elapsed before it came to my knowledge.