The tailor is a very worthy person, notwithstanding his
occupation, like that of the enemy of mankind, is to sew tears.
You can hardly call him a person, as it takes nine of him to
make a man. Therefore when anybody asks you if a tailor is a
man, you must answer, Nein. A tailor, in fact, is but one-ninth
of a man, a vulgar fraction. This makes him a little man, or
a manikin, and therefore to man akin. Hence, for convenience
sake, I will call him a man.
Most men reap what they sow, but the tailor reverses the
process and sews what he rips. He is generally kept hard at
work, as his business is most of the time pressing. Sometimes
he is quite poor, but need never go hungry, as he always has a
goose, and finds no difficulty in getting all the cabbage he
wants.
Some people complain of the tailor because he is generally
behind time with their garments; but the tailor doesn’t care
to sell clothes on time, and in fact he suits most of his
customers.
Many mean things are quoted against the tailor, but he gets
even by coating those who talk about him. No matter how he
seems in society, a good tailor always seams when about his
work.
There is one thing very strange about the tailor. Although the
pantaloons he turns out are constructed on correct principles,
he makes them all cross-legged. Like other men he pants for
renown, but is mainly concerned for the renown of his pants. If
you say ought against his trousers, I trow, sirs, he will give
you fits. No matter how he may wear with others, the tailor
tries to make others wear well. If he trusts you for your
breeches, do not repay his kindness by breaches of trust.
He cuts his cloth economically, and yet much of it goes to
waist.
The tailor is as good as man in general, but I never knew but
one General Taylor who achieved especial distinction.
Some people object to the tailor on account of his bill; but it
must be admitted that a little bill is beak coming.
The tailor is a great student of human nature. He takes the
measure of every one of his customers. Of this you may surely
speak. The tailor is full of pluck. I have seen him collar a
man twice as big as himself, and he did it coolly and without
choler.
The good tailor never slops over, though he puts in much time
over slop work. The tailor cuts to order and orders to cut.
One thing must be said in his dispraise. He is the most
inveterate fellow to buttonhole a man you ever saw. Another
thing: Notwithstanding almost everybody cares more about the
outside than the inside of his coat, the tailor will make the
inside more lasting than the outside.
He makes custom work and will work for your custom. Too often
when his work is done he has to dun his customer for the pay.
The tailor owes his living to sin, for through sin came cloth;
but though one of the cloth, the tailor is not a clergyman, who
also, by the way, gets his living through sin.
Address him at the old stand, and a dress he will make you.
_From the “AMERICAN TAILOR.”_