DICK RELATES A FAMILY LEGEND.
"Dick," said the Senator, as they rolled over the road, "spin a yarn
to beguile the time."
Dick looked modest.
The rest added their entreaties.
"Oh, well," said Dick, "since you're so very urgent it would be
unbecoming to refuse. A story? Well, what? I will tell you about my
maternal grandfather.
"My maternal grandfather, then, was once out in Hong Kong, and had
saved up a little money. As the climate did not agree with him he
thought he would come home; and at length an American ship touched
there, on board of which he went, and he saw a man in the galley; so
my grandfather stepped up to him and asked him:
"'Are you the mate?'
"'No. I'm the man that boils the _mate_,' said the other, who was also
an Irishman.
"So he had to go to the cabin, where he found the Captain and mate
writing out clearance papers for the custom-house.
"'Say, captain, will you cross the sea to plow the raging main?' asked
my grandfather.
"'Oh, the ship it is ready and the wind is fair to plow the raging
main!' said the captain. Of course my grandfather at once paid his
fare without asking credit, and the amount was three hundred and
twenty-seven dollars thirty-nine cents.
"Well, they set sail, and after going ever so many thousand miles,
or hundred--I forget which, but it don't matter--a great storm arose,
a typhoon or simoon, perhaps both; and after slowly gathering up its
energies for the space of twenty-nine days, seven hours, and
twenty-three minutes, without counting the seconds, it burst upon
them at exactly forty-two minutes past five, on the sixth day of the
week. Need I say that day was Friday? Now my grandfather saw all the
time how it was going to end; and while the rest were praying and
shrieking he had cut the lashings of the ship's long-boat and stayed
there all the time, having put on board the nautical instruments, two
or three fish-hooks, a gross of lucifer matches, and a sauce-pan. At
last the storm struck the ship, as I have stated, and at the first
crack away went the vessel to the bottom, leaving my grandfather
floating alone on the surface of the ocean.
"My grandfather navigated the long-boat fifty-two days, three hours,
and twenty minutes by the ship's chronometer; caught plenty of fish
with his fish-hooks; boiled sea-water in his sauce-pan, and boiled
all the salt away, making his fire in the bottom of the boat, which
is a very good place, for the fire can't burn through without touching
the water, which it can't burn; and finding plenty of fuel in the
boat, which he gradually dismantled, taking first the thole-pins, then
the seats, then the taffrail, and so on. This sort of thing, though,
could not last forever, and at last, just in the nick of time, he came
across a dead whale.
"It was floating bottom upward, covered with barnacles of very large
size indeed; and where his fins projected there were two little coves,
one on each side. Into the one on the lee-side he ran his boat, of
which there was nothing left but the stem and stern and two side
planks.
"My grandfather looked upon the whale as an island. It was a very
nice country to one who had been so long in a boat, though a little
monotonous. The first thing that he did was to erect the banner of his
country, of which he happened to have a copy on his
pocket-handkerchief; which he did by putting it at the end of an oar
and sticking it in the ground, or the flesh, whichever you please to
call it. He then took an observation, and proceeded to make himself a
house, which he did by whittling up the remains of the long-boat, and
had enough left to make a table, a chair, and a boot-jack. So here
he stayed, quite comfortable, for forty-three days and a half, taking
observations all the time with great accuracy; and at the end of that
time all his house was gone, for he had to cut it up for fuel to cook
his meals, and nothing was left but half of the boot-jack and the oar
which served to uphold the banner of his country. At the end of this
time a ship came up.
"The men of the ship did not know what on earth to make of this
appearance on the water, where the American flag was flying. So they
bore straight down toward it.
"'I see a sight across the sea, hi ho cheerly men!' remarked the
captain to the mate, in a confidential manner.
"'Methinks it is my own countrie, hi ho cheerly men!' rejoined the
other, quietly.
"'It rises grandly o'er the brine, hi ho cheerly men!' said the
captain.
"'And bears aloft our own ensign, hi ho cheerly men!' said the mate.
"As the ship came up my grandfather placed both hands to his mouth in
the shape of a speaking-trumpet, and cried out: 'Ship ahoy across the
wave, with a way-ay-ay-ay-ay! Storm along!'
"To which the captain of the ship responded through his trumpet: 'Tis
I, my messmate bold and brave, with a way-ay-ay-ay-ay! Storm along."
"At this my grandfather inquired; 'What vessel are you gliding on?
Pray tell to me its name.'
"And the captain replied: 'Our bark it is a whaler bold, and Jones
the captain's name.'
"Thereupon the captain came on board the whale, or on shore,
whichever you like--I don't know which, nor does it matter--he came,
at any rate. My grandfather shook hands with him and asked him to
sit down. But the captain declined, saying he preferred standing.
"'Well,' said my grandfather, 'I called on you to see if you would
like to buy a whale.'
[Illustration: Buying A Whale.]
"'Wa'al, yes, I don't mind. I'm in that line myself.'
"'What'll you give for it?'
"'What'll you take for it?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"Twenty-five minutes were taken up in the repetition of this question,
for neither wished to commit himself.
"'Have you had any offers for it yet?' asked Captain Jones at last.
"'Wa'al, no; can't say that I have.'
"'I'll give as much as any body.'
"'How much?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"Then my grandfather, after a long deliberation, took the captain by
the arm and led him all around, showing him the country, as one may
say, enlarging upon the fine points, and doing as all good traders are
bound to do when they find themselves face to face with a customer.
"To which the end was:
"'Wa'al, what'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'Well,' said my grandfather, 'I don't know as I care about trading
after all. I think I'll wait till the whaling fleet comes along. I've
been waiting for them for some time, and they ought to be here soon.'
"'You're not in the right track,' said Captain Jones.
"'Yes, I am.'
"'Excuse me.'
"'Ex-cuse _me_,' said my grandfather. 'I took an observation just
before you came in sight, and I am in lat. 47° 22' 20", long. 150°
15' 55".'
"Captain Jones's face fell. My grandfather poked him in the ribs and
smiled.
"'I'll tell you what I'll do, as I don't care, after all, about
waiting here. It's a little damp, and I'm subject to rheumatics. I'll
let you have the whole thing if you give me twenty-five per cent, of
the oil after it's barreled, barrels and all.'
"The captain thought for a moment.
"'You drive a close bargain.'
"'Of course.'
"'Well, it'll save a voyage, and that's something.'
"'Something! Bless your heart! ain't that every thing?'
"'Well, I'll agree. Come on board, and we'll make out the papers.'
"So my grandfather went on board, and they made out the papers; and
the ship hauled up alongside of the whale, and they went to work
cutting, and slashing, and hoisting, and burning, and boiling, and
at last, after ever so long a time--I don't remember exactly how
long--the oil was all secured, and my grandfather, in a few months
afterward, when he landed at Nantucket and made inquiries, sold his
share of the oil for three thousand nine hundred and fifty-six dollars
fifty-six cents, which he at once invested in business in New Bedford,
and started off to Pennsylvania to visit his mother. The old lady
didn't know him at all, he was so changed by sun, wind, storm,
hardship, sickness, fatigue, want, exposure, and other things of that
kind. She looked coldly on him.
"'Who are you?'
"'Don't you know?'
"'No.'
"'Think.'
"'_Have you a strawberry on your arm_?'
"'No.'
"'Then--you are--_you are_--YOU ARE--my own--my long--lost son!'
[Illustration: The Long-Lost Son.]
"And she caught him in her arms.
"Here endeth the first part of my grandfather's adventures, but he
had many more, good and bad; for he was a remarkable man, though I
say it; and if any of you ever want to hear more about him, which I
doubt, all you've got to do is to say so. But perhaps it's just as
well to let the old gentleman drop, for his adventures were rather
strange; but the narration of them is not very profitable, not that
I go in for the utilitarian theory of conversation; but I think, on
the whole, that, in story-telling, fiction should be preferred to
dull facts like these, and so the next time I tell a story I will
make one up."
The Club had listened to the story with the gravity which should be
manifested toward one who is relating family matters. At its close
the Senator prepared to speak. He cleared his throat:
"Ahem! Gentlemen of the Club! our adventures, thus far, have not
been altogether contemptible. We have a President and a Secretary;
ought we not also to have a Recording Secretary--a Historian?"
"Ay!" said all, very earnestly.
"Who, then, shall it be?"
All looked at Dick.
"I see there is but one feeling among us all," said the Senator.
"Yes, Richard, you are the man. Your gift of language, your fancy,
your modesty, your fluency--But I spare you. From this time forth
you know your duty."
Overcome by this honor, Dick was compelled to bow his thanks in
silence and hide his blushing face.
"And now," said Mr. Figgs, eagerly, "I want to hear _the Higgins
Story_."
The Doctor turned frightfully pale. Dick began to fill his pipe.
The Senator looked earnestly out of the window. Buttons looked at
the ceiling.
"What's the matter?" said Mr. Figgs.
"What?" asked Buttons.
"The Higgins Story?"
The Doctor started to his feet. His excitement was wonderful. He
clenched his fist.
"I'll quit! I'm going back. I'll join you at Rome by another route.
I'll--"
"No, you won't!" said Buttons; "for on a journey like this it would
be absurd to begin the Higgins Story."
"Pooh!" said Dick, "it would require nineteen days at least to get
through the introductory part."
"When, then, can I hear it?" asked Mr. Figgs, in perplexity.