CHAPTER XXI

JOY IRVING had unpacked her trunks and set her small apartment to rights,

when the postman’s ring sounded, and a moment later a letter was slipped

under her door.

She picked it up, and recognised Arthur Stuart’s penmanship. She sat

down, holding the unopened letter in her hands.

“It is Arthur’s message, appointing a time and place for our meeting,”

she said to herself. “How long ago that strange interview with him

seems!—yet it was only yesterday. How utterly the whole of life has

changed for me since then! The universe seems larger, God nearer, and

life grander. I am as one who slept and dreamed of darkness and sorrow,

and awakes to light and joy.”

But when she opened the envelope and read the few hastily written lines

within, an exclamation of surprise escaped her lips. It was a brief note

from Arthur Stuart and began abruptly without an address (a manner more

suggestive of strong passion than any endearing words).

“The first item which my eye fell upon in the telegraphic column of

the morning paper, was the death of my wife in the Retreat for the

Insane. I leave by the first express to bring her body here for

burial.

“A merciful providence has saved us the necessity of defying the laws

of God or man, and opened the way for me to claim you before all the

world as my worshipped wife so soon as propriety will permit.

“I shall see you at any hour you may indicate after to-morrow, for a

brief interview.

“ARTHUR EMERSON STUART.”

Joy held the letter in her hand a long time, lost in profound reflection.

Then she sat down to her desk and wrote three letters; one was to Mrs

Lawrence; one to the chairman of the church committee, who had requested

her resignation; the third was to Mr Stuart, and read thus:

“MY DEAR MR STUART,—Many strange things have occurred to me since I

saw you. I have learned the name of my father, and this knowledge

reveals the fact to me that your unfortunate wife was my half-sister.

I have learned, too, that the loss of my position here as organist is

not due to the narrow prejudice of the committee regarding the shadow

on my birth, but to malicious stories put in circulation by Mrs

Lawrence, relating to me.

“Infamous and libellous tales regarding my life have been told, and

must be refuted. I have written to Mrs Lawrence demanding a letter

from her, clearing my personal character, or giving her the

alternative of appearing in court to answer the charge of defamation

of character. I have also written to the church committee requesting

them to meet me here in my apartments to-morrow, and explain their

demand for my resignation.

“I now write to you my last letter and my farewell.

“In the overwrought and desperate mood in which you found me, it did

not seem a sin for me to go away with the man who loved me and whom I

loved, before false ideas of life and false ideas of duty made him

the husband of another. Conscious that your wife was a hopeless

lunatic whose present or future could in no way be influenced by our

actions, I reasoned that we wronged no one in taking the happiness so

long denied us.

“The last three years of my life have been full of desolation and

sorrow. From the day my mother died, the stars of light which had

gemmed the firmament for me, seemed one by one to be obliterated,

until I stood in utter darkness. You found me in the very blackest

hour of all—and you seemed a shining sun to me.

“Yet so soon as my tired brain and sorrow-worn heart were able to

think and reason, I realised that it was not the man I had worshipped

as an ideal, who had come to me and asked me to lower my standard of

womanhood. It was another and less worthy man—and this other was to

be my companion through time, and perhaps eternity. When I learned

that your insane wife was my sister, and that knowing this fact you

yet planned our flight, an indescribable feeling of repulsion awoke

in my heart.

“I confess that this arose more from a sentiment than a principle.

The relationship of your wife to me made the contemplated sin no

greater, but rendered it more tasteless.

“Had I gone away with you as I consented to do, the world would have

said, she but follows her fatal inheritance—like mother like

daughter. There were some bitter rebellious hours, when that thought

came to me. But to-day light has shone upon me, and I know there is

a law of Divine Heredity which is greater and more powerful than any

tendency we derive from parents or grandparents. I have believed

much in creeds all my life; and in the hour of great trials I found I

was leaning on broken reeds. I have now ceased to look to men or

books for truth—I have found it in my own soul. I acknowledge no

unfortunate tendencies from any earthly inheritance; centuries of

sinful or weak ancestors are as nothing beside the God within. The

divine and immortal _me_ is older than my ancestral tree; it is as

old as the universe. It is as old as the first great Cause of which

it is a part. Strong with this consciousness, I am prepared to meet

the world alone, and unafraid from this day onward. When I think of

the optimistic temperament, the good brain, and the vigorous body

which were naturally mine, and then of the wretched being who was my

legitimate sister, I know that I was rightly generated, however

unfortunately born, just as she was wrongly generated though legally

born.

“My father, I am told, married into a family whose crest is traced

back to the tenth century. I carry a coat-of-arms older yet—the

Cross; it dates back eighteen hundred years—yes, many thousand years,

and so I feel myself the nobler of the two. Had you been more of a

disciple of Christ, and less of a disciple of man, you would have

realised this truth long ago, as I realise it to-day. No man should

dare stand before his fellows as a revealer of divine knowledge until

he has penetrated the inmost recesses of his own soul, and found

God’s holy image there; and until he can show others the way to the

same wonderful discovery. The God you worshipped was far away in the

heavens, so far that he could not come to you and save you from your

baser self in the hour of temptation. But the true God has been

miraculously revealed to me. He dwells within; one who has found

Him, will never debase His temple.

“Though there is no legal obstacle now in the path to our union,

there is a spiritual one which is insurmountable. _I no longer love

you_. I am sorry for you, but that is all. You belonged to my

yesterday—you can have no part in my to-day. The man who tempted me

in my weak hour to go lower, could not help me to go higher. And my

face is set toward the heights.

“I must prove to that world that a child born under the shadow of

shame, and of two weak, uncontrolled parents, can be virtuous,

strong, brave and sensible. That she can conquer passion and

impulse, by the use of her divine inheritance of will; and that she

can compel the respect of the public by her discreet life and lofty

ideals.

“I shall stay in this place until I have vindicated my name and

character from every aspersion cast upon them. I shall retain my

position of organist, and retain it until I have accumulated

sufficient means to go abroad and prepare myself for the musical

career in which I know I can excel. I am young, strong and

ambitious. My unusual sorrows will give me greater power of

character if I accept them as spiritual tonics—bitter but

strengthening.

“Farewell, and may God be with you.

“JOY IRVING.”

When the rector of St Blank’s returned from the Beryngford Cemetery,

where he had placed the body of his wife beside her father, he found this

letter lying on his table in the hotel.

* * * * *

THE END

An Ambitious Man · 第 21 / 21 章