Muse of the many-twinkling feet! [1] whose charms
Are now extended up from legs to arms;
Terpsichore!--too long misdeemed a maid--
Reproachful term--bestowed but to upbraid--
Henceforth in all the bronze of brightness shine, [i]
The least a Vestal of the Virgin Nine.
Far be from thee and thine the name of Prude:
Mocked yet triumphant; sneered at, unsubdued;
Thy legs must move to conquer as they fly,
If but thy coats are reasonably high! 10
Thy breast--if bare enough--requires no shield;
Dance forth--_sans armour_ thou shalt take the field
And own--impregnable to _most_ assaults,
Thy not too lawfully begotten "Waltz."
Hail, nimble Nymph! to whom the young hussar, [2]
The whiskered votary of Waltz and War,
His night devotes, despite of spur and boots;
A sight unmatched since Orpheus and his brutes:
Hail, spirit-stirring Waltz!--beneath whose banners
A modern hero fought for modish manners; 20
On Hounslow's heath to rival Wellesley's [3] fame,
Cocked, fired, and missed his man--but gained his aim;
Hail, moving muse! to whom the fair one's breast
Gives all it can, and bids us take the rest.
Oh! for the flow of Busby, [4] or of Fitz,
The latter's loyalty, the former's wits,
To "energise the object I pursue,"
And give both Belial and his Dance their due! [ii]
Imperial Waltz! imported from the Rhine
(Famed for the growth of pedigrees and wine), 30
Long be thine import from all duty free,
And Hock itself be less esteemed than thee;
In some few qualities alike--for Hock
Improves our cellar--_thou_ our living stock.
The head to Hock belongs--thy subtler art
Intoxicates alone the heedless heart:
Through the full veins thy gentler poison swims,
And wakes to Wantonness the willing limbs.
Oh, Germany! how much to thee we owe,
As heaven-born Pitt can testify below, 40
Ere cursed Confederation made thee France's,
And only left us thy d--d debts and dances! [5]
Of subsidies and Hanover bereft,
We bless thee still--George the Third is left!
Of kings the best--and last, not least in worth,
For graciously begetting George the Fourth.
To Germany, and Highnesses serene,
Who owe us millions--don't we owe the Queen?
To Germany, what owe we not besides?
So oft bestowing Brunswickers and brides; 50
Who paid for vulgar, with her royal blood,
Drawn from the stem of each Teutonic stud:
Who sent us--so be pardoned all her faults--
A dozen dukes, some kings, a Queen--and Waltz.
But peace to her--her Emperor and Diet,
Though now transferred to Buonapartè's "fiat!"
Back to my theme--O muse of Motion! say,
How first to Albion found thy Waltz her way?
Borne on the breath of Hyperborean gales,
From Hamburg's port (while Hamburg yet had _mails_), 60
Ere yet unlucky Fame--compelled to creep
To snowy Gottenburg-was chilled to sleep;
Or, starting from her slumbers, deigned arise,
Heligoland! to stock thy mart with lies; [iii]
While unburnt Moscow [6] yet had news to send,
Nor owed her fiery Exit to a friend,
She came--Waltz came--and with her certain sets
Of true despatches, and as true Gazettes;
Then flamed of Austerlitz the blest despatch, [7]
Which _Moniteur_ nor _Morning Post_ can match 70
And--almost crushed beneath the glorious news--
Ten plays, and forty tales of Kotzebue's; [8]
One envoy's letters, six composer's airs,
And loads from Frankfort and from Leipsic fairs:
Meiners' four volumes upon Womankind, [9]
Like Lapland witches to ensure a wind;
Brunck's heaviest tome for ballast, [10] and, to back it,
Of Heynè, [11] such as should not sink the packet. [iv]
Fraught with this cargo--and her fairest freight,
Delightful Waltz, on tiptoe for a Mate, 80
The welcome vessel reached the genial strand,
And round her flocked the daughters of the land.
Not decent David, when, before the ark,
His grand _Pas-seul_ excited some remark;
Not love-lorn Quixote, when his Sancho thought
The knight's _Fandango_ friskier than it ought;
Not soft Herodias, when, with winning tread,
Her nimble feet danced off another's head;
Not Cleopatra on her Galley's Deck,
Displayed so much of _leg_ or more of _neck_, 90
Than Thou, ambrosial Waltz, when first the Moon
Beheld thee twirling to a Saxon tune!
To You, ye husbands of ten years! whose brows
Ache with the annual tributes of a spouse;
To you of nine years less, who only bear
The budding sprouts of those that you _shall_ wear,
With added ornaments around them rolled
Of native brass, or law-awarded gold;
To You, ye Matrons, ever on the watch
To mar a son's, or make a daughter's match; 100
To You, ye children of--whom chance accords--
_Always_ the Ladies, and _sometimes_ their Lords;
To You, ye single gentlemen, who seek
Torments for life, or pleasures for a week;
As Love or Hymen your endeavours guide,
To gain your own, or snatch another's bride;--
To one and all the lovely Stranger came,
And every Ball-room echoes with her name.
Endearing Waltz!--to thy more melting tune
Bow Irish Jig, and ancient Rigadoon. [12] 110
Scotch reels, avaunt! and Country-dance forego
Your future claims to each fantastic toe!
Waltz--Waltz alone--both legs and arms demands,
Liberal of feet, and lavish of her hands;
Hands which may freely range in public sight
Where ne'er before--but--pray "put out the light."
Methinks the glare of yonder chandelier
Shines much too far--or I am much too near;
And true, though strange--Waltz whispers this remark,
"My slippery steps are safest in the dark!" 120
But here the Muse with due decorum halts,
And lends her longest petticoat to "Waltz."
Observant Travellers of every time!
Ye Quartos published upon every clime!
0 say, shall dull _Romaika's_ heavy round,
_Fandango's_ wriggle, or _Bolero's_ bound;
Can Egypt's _Almas_ [13]--tantalising group--
Columbia's caperers to the warlike Whoop--
Can aught from cold Kamschatka to Cape Horn
With Waltz compare, or after Waltz be born? 130
Ah, no! from Morier's pages down to Galt's, [14]
Each tourist pens a paragraph for "Waltz."
Shades of those Belles whose reign began of yore,
With George the Third's--and ended long before!--
Though in your daughters' daughters yet you thrive, [v]
Burst from your lead, and be yourselves alive!
Back to the Ball-room speed your spectred host,
Fool's Paradise is dull to that you lost. [vi]
No treacherous powder bids Conjecture quake;
No stiff-starched stays make meddling fingers ache; [vii] 140
(Transferred to those ambiguous things that ape
Goats in their visage, [15] women in their shape;)
No damsel faints when rather closely pressed,
But more caressing seems when most caressed;
Superfluous Hartshorn, and reviving Salts,
Both banished by the sovereign cordial "Waltz."
Seductive Waltz!--though on thy native shore
Even Werter's self proclaimed thee half a whore;
Werter--to decent vice though much inclined,
Yet warm, not wanton; dazzled, but not blind-- 150
Though gentle Genlis, [16] in her strife with Staël,
Would even proscribe thee from a Paris ball;
The fashion hails--from Countesses to Queens,
And maids and valets waltz behind the scenes;
Wide and more wide thy witching circle spreads,
And turns--if nothing else--at least our _heads_;
With thee even clumsy cits attempt to bounce,
And cockney's practise what they can't pronounce.
Gods! how the glorious theme my strain exalts,
And Rhyme finds partner Rhyme in praise of "Waltz!" 160
Blest was the time Waltz chose for her _début_!
The Court, the Regent, like herself were new; [17]
New face for friends, for foes some new rewards;
New ornaments for black-and royal Guards; [viii]
New laws to hang the rogues that roared for bread;
New coins (most new) [18] to follow those that fled;
New victories--nor can we prize them less,
Though Jenky [19] wonders at his own success;
New wars, because the old succeed so well,
That most survivors envy those who fell; 170
New mistresses--no, old--and yet 'tis true,
Though they be _old_, the _thing_ is something new;
Each new, quite new--(except some ancient tricks), [20]
New white-sticks--gold-sticks--broom-sticks--_all new sticks_!
With vests or ribands--decked alike in hue,
New troopers strut, new turncoats blush in blue:
So saith the Muse: my----, [21] what say you?
Such was the time when Waltz might best maintain
Her new preferments in this novel reign;
Such was the time, nor ever yet was such; 180
Hoops are _ more_, and petticoats _not much_;
Morals and Minuets, Virtue and her stays,
And tell-tale powder--all have had their days.
The Ball begins--the honours of the house
First duly done by daughter or by spouse,
Some Potentate--or royal or serene--
With Kent's gay grace, or sapient Gloster's mien, [ix]
Leads forth the ready dame, whose rising flush
Might once have been mistaken for a blush.
From where the garb just leaves the bosom free, 190
That spot where hearts [22] were once supposed to be;
Round all the confines of the yielded waist,
The strangest hand may wander undisplaced:
The lady's in return may grasp as much
As princely paunches offer to her touch.
Pleased round the chalky floor how well they trip
One hand reposing on the royal hip! [23]
The other to the shoulder no less royal
Ascending with affection truly loyal!
Thus front to front the partners move or stand, 200
The foot may rest, but none withdraw the hand;
And all in turn may follow in their rank,
The Earl of--Asterisk--and Lady--Blank;
Sir--Such-a-one--with those of fashion's host, [x] [24]
For whose blest surnames--vide "Morning Post."
(Or if for that impartial print too late,
Search Doctors' Commons six months from my date)--
Thus all and each, in movement swift or slow,
The genial contact gently undergo;
Till some might marvel, with the modest Turk, 210
If "nothing follows all this palming work?" [25]
True, honest Mirza!--you may trust my rhyme--
Something does follow at a fitter time;
The breast thus publicly resigned to man,
In private may resist him--if it can.
O ye who loved our Grandmothers of yore,
Fitzpatrick, [26] Sheridan, and many more!
And thou, my Prince! whose sovereign taste and will [xi]
It is to love the lovely beldames still!
Thou Ghost of Queensberry! [27] whose judging Sprite 220
Satan may spare to peep a single night,
Pronounce--if ever in your days of bliss
Asmodeus struck so bright a stroke as this;
To teach the young ideas how to rise,
Flush in the cheek, and languish in the eyes;
Rush to the heart, and lighten through the frame,
With half-told wish, and ill-dissembled flame,
For prurient Nature still will storm the breast--
_Who_, tempted thus, can answer for the rest?
But ye--who never felt a single thought 230
For what our Morals are to be, or ought;
Who wisely wish the charms you view to reap,
Say--would you make those beauties quite so cheap?
Hot from the hands promiscuously applied,
Round the slight waist, or down the glowing side,
Where were the rapture then to clasp the form
From this lewd grasp and lawless contact warm? [xii]
At once Love's most endearing thought resign,
To press the hand so pressed by none but thine;
To gaze upon that eye which never met 240
Another's ardent look without regret;
Approach the lip which all, without restraint,
Come near enough--if not to touch--to taint;
If such thou lovest--love her then no more,
Or give--like her--caresses to a score;
Her Mind with these is gone, and with it go
The little left behind it to bestow.
Voluptuous Waltz! and dare I thus blaspheme?
Thy bard forgot thy praises were his theme.
Terpsichore forgive!--at every Ball 250
My wife _now_ waltzes--and my daughters _shall_;
_My_ son--(or stop--'tis needless to inquire--
These little accidents should ne'er transpire;
Some ages hence our genealogic tree [xiii]
Will wear as green a bough for him as me)--
Waltzing shall rear, to make our name amends
Grandsons for me--in heirs to all his friends.
[Footnote 1: "Glance their many-twinkling feet."--GRAY.]
[Footnote 2: Lines 15-28 do not appear in the MS., but ten lines
(omitting lines 21-24) were inserted in Proof No. 1.]
[Footnote 3: To rival Lord Wellesley's, or his nephew's, as the reader
pleases:--the one gained a pretty woman, whom he deserved, by fighting
for; and the other has been fighting in the Peninsula many a long day,
"by Shrewsbury clock," without gaining anything in 'that' country but
the title of "the Great Lord," and "the Lord;" which savours of
profanation, having been hitherto applied only to that Being to whom
"'Te Deums'" for carnage are the rankest blasphemy.--It is to be
presumed the general will one day return to his Sabine farm: there
"To tame the genius of the stubborn plain,
'Almost as quickly' as he conquer'd Spain!"
The Lord Peterborough conquered continents in a summer; we do more--we
contrive both to conquer and lose them in a shorter season. If the
"great Lord's" 'Cincinnatian' progress in agriculture be no speedier
than the proportional average of time in Pope's couplet, it will,
according to the farmer's proverb, be "ploughing with dogs."
By the bye--one of this illustrious person's new titles is forgotten--it
is, however, worth remembering--"'Salvador del mundo!" credite,
posteri'! If this be the appellation annexed by the inhabitants of the
Peninsula to the name of a 'man' who has not yet saved them--query--are
they worth saving, even in this world? for, according to the mildest
modifications of any Christian creed, those three words make the odds
much against them in the next--"Saviour of the world," quotha!--it were
to be wished that he, or any one else, could save a corner of it--his
country. Yet this stupid misnomer, although it shows the near connection
between superstition and impiety, so far has its use, that it proves
there can be little to dread from those Catholics (inquisitorial
Catholics too) who can confer such an appellation on a 'Protestant'. I
suppose next year he will be entitled the "Virgin Mary;" if so, Lord
George Gordon himself would have nothing to object to such liberal
bastards of our Lady of Babylon.
[William Pole-Wellesley (1785?-1857), afterwards fourth Lord Mornington,
a nephew of the great Duke of Wellington, married, in March, 1812,
Catharine, daughter and heiress of Sir Tylney Long, Bart. On his
marriage he added his wife's double surname to his own, and, thereby,
gave the wits their chance. In 'Rejected Addresses' Fitzgerald is made
to exclaim--
"Bless every man possess'd of aught to give,
Long may Long-Tilney-Wellesley-Long-Pole live."
The principals in the duel to which Byron alludes were Wellesley-Pole
and Lord Kilworth. The occasion of the quarrel was a misconception of
some expression of Pole's at an assembly at Lady Hawarden's (August 6,
1811). A meeting took place on Wimbledon Common (August 9), at which the
seconds intervened, and everything was "amicably adjusted." Some days
later a letter appeared in the 'Morning Post' (August 14, 1811), signed
"Kilworth," to the effect that an apology had been offered and accepted.
This led to a second meeting on Hounslow Heath (August 15), when shots
were exchanged. Again the seconds intervened, and, after more
explanations, matters were finally arranged. A 'jeu d'esprit' which
appeared in the 'Morning Chronicle' (August 16, 1811) connects the
"mortal fracas" with Pole's prowess in waltzing at a fête at Wanstead
House, near Hackney, where, when the heiress had been wooed and won, his
guests used to dine at midnight after the opera.
"Mid the tumult of waltzing and wild Irish reels,
A prime dancer, I'm sure to get at her--
And by Love's graceful movements to trip up her heels,
Is the Long and the short of the matter."]
[Footnote 4: Thomas Busby, Mus. Doc. (1755-1838), musical composer, and
author of 'A New and Complete Musical Dictionary', 1801, etc. He was
also a versifier. As early as 1785 he published 'The Age of Genius, A
Satire'; and, after he had ceased to compose music for the stage,
brought out a translation of Lucretius, which had long been in MS. His
"rejected address" on the reopening of Drury Lane Theatre, would have
been recited by his son (October 15), but the gallery refused to hear it
out. On the next night (October 16) "Master" Busby was more successful.
Byron's parody of Busby's address, which began with the line, "When
energising objects men pursue," is headed, "Parenthetical Address. By
Dr. Plagiary."]
[Footnote 5: The Confederation of the Rhine (1803-1813), by which the
courts of Würtemberg and Bavaria, together with some lesser
principalities, detached themselves from the Germanic Body, and accepted
the immediate protection of France.]
[Footnote 6: The patriotic arson of our amiable allies cannot be
sufficiently commended--nor subscribed for. Amongst other details
omitted in the various [A] despatches of our eloquent ambassador, he did
not state (being too much occupied with the exploits of Colonel C----,
in swimming rivers frozen, and galloping over roads impassable,) that
one entire province perished by famine in the most melancholy manner, as
follows:--In General Rostopchin's consummate conflagration, the
consumption of tallow and train oil was so great, that the market was
inadequate to the demand: and thus one hundred and thirty-three thousand
persons were starved to death, by being reduced to wholesome diet! the
lamp-lighters of London have since subscribed a pint (of oil) a piece,
and the tallow-chandlers have unanimously voted a quantity of best
moulds (four to the pound), to the relief of the surviving
Scythians;--the scarcity will soon, by such exertions, and a proper
attention to the 'quality' rather than the quantity of provision, be
totally alleviated. It is said, in return, that the untouched Ukraine
has subscribed sixty thousand beeves for a day's meal to our suffering
manufacturers.
[Hamburg fell to Napoleon's forces in 1810, and thence-forward the mails
from the north of Europe were despatched from Anholt, or Gothenberg, or
Heligoland. In 1811 an attempt to enforce the conscription resulted in
the emigration of numbers of young men of suitable age for military
service. The unfortunate city was deprived of mails and males at the
same time. Heligoland, which was taken by the British in 1807, and
turned into a depot for the importation of smuggled goods to French
territory, afforded a meeting-place for British and continental traders.
Mails from Heligoland detailed rumours of what was taking place at the
centres of war; but the newspapers occasionally threw doubts on the
information obtained from this source. Lord Cathcart's despatch, dated
November 23, appeared in the 'Gazette' December 16, 1812. The paragraph
which appealed to Byron's sense of humour is as follows: "The expedition
of Colonel Chernichef ('sic') [the Czar's aide-de-camp] was a continued
and extraordinary exertion, he having marched seven hundred wersts
('sic') in five days, and swam several rivers."]
[Sub-Footnote A: Veracious despatches.--['MS. M'.] ]
[Footnote 7: Austerlitz was fought on Dec. 2, 1805. On Dec. 20 the
'Morning Chronicle' published a communication from a correspondent,
giving the substance of Napoleon's "Proclamation to the Army," issued on
the evening after the battle, which had reached Bourrienne, the French
minister at Hamburg. "An army," ran the proclamation, "of 100,000 men,
which was commanded by the Emperors of Russia and Austria, has been in
less than four hours either cut off or dispersed." It was an official
note of this "blest despatch," forwarded by courier to Bath, which
brought "the heavy news" to Pitt, and, it is believed, hastened his
death.]
[Footnote 8: August Frederick Ferdinand von Kotzebue (1761-1819), whom
Coleridge appraised as "the German Beaumont and Fletcher without their
poetic powers," and Carlyle as "a bundle of dyed rags," wrote over a
hundred plays, publishing twenty within a few years.
An adaptation of 'Misanthropy and Repentance' as 'The Stranger',
Sheridan's 'Pizarro', and Lewis' 'Castle Spectre' are well-known
instances of his powerful influence on English dramatists.
"The Present," writes Sara Coleridge, in a note to one of her father's
letters, "will ever have her special votaries in the world of letters,
who collect into their focus, by a kind of burning-glass, the feelings
of the day. Amongst such Kotzebue holds a high rank. Those 'dyed rags'
of his once formed gorgeous banners, and flaunted in the eyes of
refined companies from London to Madrid, from Paris to
Moscow."