CONFIDENCES AND FOREBODINGS
HETTY STAPLETON had so often stayed with her brother and his wife at
Oakwood, that she was regarded by Hollingsby folk almost as belonging
to the family circle there. She and an unmarried brother, considerably
older than herself, had a home together in town, but went their several
ways in an independent fashion, and if their opinions of persons and
things did not always accord, they agreed to differ.
Though only twenty-five, Hetty was the friend and chosen adviser
of quite a crowd of girls, who went to her with their troubles and
difficulties, for comfort and guidance. If the troubles were real, who
so sympathetic as Hetty? If imaginary or self-made, no one could be
more sternly straightforward in administering the needed reproof, or
more forcible in pointing out unthankfulness for undeserved blessings,
and the wisdom of self-examination and confession of wrong-doing.
Naturally, Hetty was not always successful in her endeavours to benefit
other girls. Like her elders, she found, often enough, that her advice
was only valued and followed when it fell in with the wishes of those
who asked it, and that many who bemoaned their lot and made more
troubles for themselves, instead of bravely meeting and conquering
adverse circumstances, only wanted to be pitied and excused, when
really they merited blame. But, despite such failures, there were
numbers of girls who had cause to thank God that they had found a
friend in Hetty Stapleton.
Aylmer Matheson was one who gauged Hetty's character correctly, and
honoured her, despite certain little eccentricities of which he could
not help being conscious. He and Hetty were thoroughly agreed in their
estimate of Captain Torrance. She had told him certain particulars,
which had come to her knowledge through her brother Gerard's intimacy
with some officers who had known Captain Jack during his brief military
career. She had kept back much that a pure-minded girl would not like
to repeat, and which Hetty herself would have preferred not to know. Of
one incident she had never spoken to any human being, and probably only
Aylmer Matheson suspected the whole truth.
Eighteen months before, Captain Torrance had taken some pains to throw
himself in Hetty's way. He knew that her fortune was inferior to Miss
Mountford's, but it was considerable and in her own hands, whilst
Kathleen was not nearly of age. He never dreamed that a girl with no
pretensions to beauty would refuse him, though Hetty's manner was
sufficiently distant to discourage a wooer less satisfied with himself
than was handsome Captain Jack. In his own mind he decided that Miss
Stapleton drew back, in order that her vanity might be satisfied by a
more conspicuous wooing. When, however, he tried his fortune by sending
a written proposal, he realized the mistake he had made.
Hetty's reply was courteous, but decisive, and from the moment of
receiving it, Captain Torrance understood that there was one girl who
had formed a true estimate of his character, and valued his professions
of admiration and affection at just what they were worth.
A few plain words in that note of Hetty's roused feelings of varying
kinds in Captain Jack's breast. He could not help respecting the writer
for her straightforwardness, but anger, fear, and dislike were in equal
proportions.
It was dreadfully mortifying to have been refused by any girl, but
doubly so when the individual was such as Hetty Stapleton, and
mortification produced anger and dislike also when he thought of her.
Her quiet good sense and plain speaking inspired fear, lest Hetty
should, in the future, interfere to prevent his success in another
quarter. With such feelings, it may well be imagined that Hetty
Stapleton was about the last person Captain Jack wished to see at
Hollingsby for any length of time.
It was quite in accordance with Miss Stapleton's downright way of doing
things, that she should speak to Aylmer Matheson about what had set all
the village tongues going a few hours before.
"I am so sorry," she said, "that any mischance should have given people
the power to couple the names of John Torrance and Kathleen. One feels
sure that, so far as she was concerned, the meeting was unexpected and
the companionship on the road a thing that a girl like Kitty would not
know how to prevent. You see, she is not like me. She is so lovely and
lovable, so fearful of hurting anybody's feelings, that she would be
helpless to send a man like that to the rightabout, though his presence
might be distasteful."
"I quite agree with you that to Kathleen the meeting was unexpected,
for she, in common with the rest of us, believed that Captain Torrance
was absent from the neighbourhood. I wish I could as easily believe
that his company was distasteful, but had you met the two as I did,
you, like me, would have doubted this. Torrance's face was full of
triumph, and the mocking laugh I heard just before I reached them,
together with Kathleen's amused face, told a different tale."
"And of course you were as self-conscious as most of us would be under
similar circumstances. You took it for granted that you were the
subject of John Torrance's jest, and that Kathleen enjoyed it, and
joined in the laughter. Excuse my calling the man by his Christian name
to you."
"He is not entitled to be called captain, though everybody uses the
appellation. But I hate shams, and I will not insult the army by
pretending that he belongs to it, after having left it perforce."
"Now, about the man's laugh. I am quite certain that he wished to annoy
you by it and his whole manner. But that Kathleen would ever join
in aught, whether word, deed, or gesture, that savoured of mockery
towards yourself, I will not for a moment believe. She is one of the
most impulsive, and, as a consequence, one of the most self-tormenting
creatures on this earth, but she is true. Have I not heard her again
and again speak of you in terms of the warmest esteem, and express her
thankfulness that her father had chosen such a guardian for her? She
could not be so false to her own generous nature as to join a man like
John Torrance in holding you up to ridicule, with a view of wilfully
causing you pain. Kitty is incapable of acting a lie."
Even in the dim light of the early winter's evening Hetty could see
how Aylmer's face brightened under the influence of her cheery words.
He believed them, and blamed himself for his over-sensitiveness in all
wherein Kathleen was concerned.
"You have done me good, Hetty, by your common-sense words, and I have
wronged Kathleen by my hasty judgment. God knows how I long to shield
her from harm! and here am I judging her without a hearing, blaming her
so that you need to be her champion, and all because she laughed at the
idle words of a man who had forced his society upon her."
"Of course you have tormented yourself needlessly, but happily you
have relieved your mind to me, made confession, and, if you have not
promised, you have determined not to do so any more. I only wish,"
added Hetty, in a low tone, but one that expressed deep feeling, "that
you were going to be Kathleen's life guardian by her own election."
If ever a man was longing for a friend and confidante, in whose ear
he could pour out his tale of love, of fear, and of the doubts and
scruples that harassed him, Aylmer Matheson was one. He had no one in
his home to whom he could speak of anything which involved others than
himself, though the faithful servants who were about him had grown grey
at Westhill, having served his parents before him.
To Mrs. Ellicott he had never spoken, though he believed that she would
be in his favour, and some instinctive feeling, which he could hardly
have explained, had put Geraldine out of the question.
Now Hetty had boldly touched upon that dearest subject of all. The very
wish she had uttered was an invitation to confidence. He knew she was
his friend, and to be trusted, and he resolved not to lose the chance
thus given him.
"Thank you, Hetty, for the wish, and thank you still more for having
put it into words," he replied.
"Why thank me more for speaking than for the feeling which I expressed
in the wish?"
"Because the words enable me to speak, and claim your continued
sympathy. The wish unuttered would have been unknown to me, and I
should have lost the comfort and sense of sympathy it has already
given. You have been a good friend to many a girl, Hetty. It is doubly
kind of you to extend your friendship to me, for I am, in a sense, a
very lonely man."
"You may trust me, Aylmer, as the girls have done," replied Hetty
simply; and it was really a pity that the sun had gone down, and the
expression on her honest face was not more fully visible. But Aylmer
had seen it many a time, and needed no assurance. It was a great
comfort to him to open his heart, and to show Hetty all that was in it
as regarded Kathleen, and he did it.
"And now," he added, "you can speak from a girl's point of view. You
know what scruples have kept me from telling Kathleen my secret, and
how fear of what the world might say, if I seemed to take advantage of
my position to secure the hand of a rich ward, has kept me silent."
Hetty paused for a few moments, then asked—
"Has this fear been the only thing which has kept you silent? If it
has, I should say the answer as to what you ought to do need not
come from me. You are in earnest. You have given Kathleen your best
affections, and without reserve. What is the value of such a gift? Is
it to be measured by a market-standard?"
"Certainly not," replied Aylmer, unable to resist a smile.
"Then, if a girl gave you her heart in like manner, you would not begin
to ask yourself whether your money, all told, was enough to offer in
exchange?"
"Surely not. Love for love, heart for heart, can be the only fair
exchange," said Aylmer.
"Put the money right out of the question, then, since it is not to be a
matter of merely valuing your separate worldly goods, and considering
whether the one will equally balance the other. Never mind the world's
tongue. The voice of an approving conscience is better worth listening
to than all the babel of tongues which goes by the name of the world's
opinion of things. Remember my question, though. It must not be
overlooked, and I want my answer to it."
"What was that?"
"I asked you if fear of the world's opinion were the only thing that
had kept you from speaking your mind to Kathleen? If so, we have
settled the question, and you will speak without further hesitation."
"I dare not say yes," replied Aylmer. "The greater fear is with regard
to Kathleen herself."
"I thought so. You cannot divine how she would receive the confession
you long to make."
"No man wishes to risk a refusal by over-haste, or to lose the prize
for want of decision. I own that Kathleen has never given me cause to
hope."
"Or to fear?" asked Hetty.
"I think I am all fears now, though had we been talking together last
evening, I should not have said this, for of late our intercourse has
been very pleasant."
"During John Torrance's absence, I suppose?"
"Yes; and I was beginning to think that I would not trouble myself
about the opinion of outsiders, but would tell my story to Kathleen.
Then I hesitated on her account."
"You were afraid lest she should be moved to accept you by any feeling
short of that which inspired you, such as gratitude, esteem, the memory
of her father's trust in and affection for you."
"Partly; but there was more still to hold me back."
"Probably the thought that should Kathleen not accept you, the charm
of the present sweet intimacy would be broken, its growth checked, and
that even your relations as guardian and ward would be unpleasantly
strained. You must continue your oversight of Kathleen and her affairs,
and it would have been pretty trying for you to meet constantly under
the circumstances. You would have been thinking that everybody knew
of your rejection, and Kathleen would have been miserable every time
she saw you, because she cares far too much for you to feel other than
sorry for having caused you pain."
"What a witch you are, Hetty! You have read my thoughts like an open
book," said Aylmer.
"No witchcraft in that. Do I not know Kathleen's character and yours?
Given this acquaintance with characters and circumstances, it is easy
to picture how people would think and act towards each other. I can
imagine what a shock it would be for you to meet Kathleen and John
Torrance together this morning, when you were indulging in a sweet
day-dream on your own account. Fancying that your most dangerous rival
was far-away, and Kathleen and yourself growing nearer every day."
"It was a shock. You agree with me that John Torrance is trying to win
Kathleen?"
"No doubt about it, and I fear for her and for you. He is a strong
opponent, in spite of his blemished past, he ruined fortunes, and the
fact that he is only tolerated amongst county society because he bears
a name which was once an honoured one hereabouts."
"The fact and the memory that he loved and was beloved by so sweet a
wife, and that he lost her."
"Yes, these two things have enabled John Torrance to keep his place,
such as it is, and they are two of his most dangerous possessions—the
old name and the fair memory."
"Then he is the handsomest man, I know, and looks count for a great
deal," said Aylmer.
Hetty thought, though she did not say so, that on the score of looks
Aylmer had little cause to be discouraged. "In his style, he is John
Torrance's equal; and as to expression, there is no comparison. Mr.
Torrance's face may well be dark, and Aylmer's what it is—the reflex of
a pure mind and faithful heart," was what Hetty said to herself.
Her remark to Aylmer was very different.
"As to looks, they count for less than most people think, and that is
fortunate for me, since I have none to speak of, in a complimentary
way, I mean. Never trouble about looks. If you are anxious on account
of John Torrance's, just call to mind the beautiful girls of your
acquaintance who have married what are called plain men, and vice
versa. Girls and men who have been poor as well as plain, have wedded
with riches and good looks. And often enough their partners have had
cause to thank God for having gained in exchange what was more precious
than wealth or beauty, in the humble Christ-like nature and the
unselfish life."
"That is true, Hetty; but all the same, when a girl is so impulsive and
easily impressed as Kathleen, the personal appearance of an admirer
will not fail to have its effect."
Hetty nodded. "I admit so much; but if you regard John Torrance's looks
as all-important in Kathleen's sight, you will make a great mistake."
"Tell me, Hetty, where you think the chief danger lies," said Aylmer,
not a little puzzled by the girl's manner, but impressed by her words.
"In little Ralph," she replied. "He will woo Kathleen most effectively
by means of the boy. She is very fond of the fine little fellow. I have
heard her speak regretfully of his motherless condition, and compare it
with her own."
"Kathleen is very differently placed from Captain Torrance's
unfortunate child. She is hedged round from evil influences as far as
possible. He is constantly exposed to them by the one person, of all
others, who ought to protect him—his own father," replied Aylmer.
"True, and here is where John Torrance will work upon Kathleen's
tender heart. You know how she cherishes the memory of her parents.
She pictures her own beautiful mother during her last years of
helplessness, and if she had been likely to forget, Mr. Mountford's
efforts would have kept the memory of his wife alive in the child's
mind, so long as he lived. She knows what care and love have done to
surround her young life with good things, and to keep her 'unspotted
from the world.' Kathleen will contrast all she has with what Ralph
needs, and has not; John Torrance will never lose an opportunity of
talking about the dead wife, and the boy she left him. He will not
pose as a good father, but he will as a loving one. He will lament his
unworthiness to have the charge of Ralph, though he is his natural
guardian. He will say how helpless he is in his loneliness, and that
yet he cannot part with his boy, the only comfort left him. He will
point out how possible it would be for one, equally beautiful and good,
to prove the saviour of the boy, and turn Monk's How into an earthly
paradise."
"Probably he will say more against himself, and own that he could never
hope to win such a mother for Ralph, because, with the child, she
who would act as the 'angel in the house,' must be the father's good
angel also. Then such a nature as Kathleen's would be wrought upon,
and she would be filled with sweet longings and noble aspirations. She
would pity both Captain Jack and his child, and could not be contented
without doing something to remedy the evil. She would see lofty
possibilities, alike for the boy and his father, and would deem it a
glorious privilege if, by dedicating her fortune, her time, her very
life, she could turn possibilities into realities."
Hetty paused. She had spoken under a profound conviction of the truth
of her impressions, and with an earnestness which convinced her only
listener.
"You frighten me, Hetty," said Aylmer. "You have opened my eyes to
dangers I never fully realized till now, though a dim notion of them
may have flitted across my mind. After all, there is much that strikes
me also in the picture you have drawn. The enterprise would be a
glorious one, worthy of a pure soul and a noble nature. One could not
be surprised that it should have attractions for a girl like Kathleen."
"Only we have to think for her, and to pray that we may be enabled to
prevent her from undertaking it. For Kathleen would fail, and make
shipwreck of her happiness and her life. I know John Torrance too well
to suppose that more than a very temporary impression would be produced
on him. If any human influence could have saved him, his wife's would
have done it, for he loved her as much as his nature could love one so
unlike itself. No, Aylmer. It would sacrifice another life, and leave
him where he is, or it may be lower still, were Kathleen to become his
wife, for, you see, he would have another fortune to squander."
"That, in any case, could be secured to Kathleen."
"She would not let you secure it. She is just the girl, if she gives
aught, to give all. You will be powerless. Now I must go in, for my
anxiety about Kathleen has kept me walking round these grounds with you
too long already."
"You have been very good, and kind, and wise. I cannot tell you how
much I value your advice and your friendship for Kathleen and me, for I
know I may count on it."
"You may indeed. Now mind you don't scold Kathleen. Speak of her
meeting with John Torrance as if any other neighbour had seen her and
strolled with her to the gate. I hope and I pray for the best."
Hetty vanished round the corner of the house, and Aylmer Matheson
walked homeward, with abundant material to occupy his anxious thoughts,
but feeling more hopeful than he had ever done before.