I began life, O King of the Age, as a Schoolmaster and my case
was wondrous.?And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and fell
silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister
Dunyazad, "How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and
enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared
with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran
suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that
was
The Three Hundred and Sixty-third Night,
Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be
other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short
the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love
and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the
director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting
and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Shaykh
continued.?I began life, O my lord, as a Schoolmaster, and my
tale with the boys was wondrous. They numbered from sixty to
seventy, and I taught them to read and I inculcated due
discipline and ready respect esteeming these a part of liberal
education; nor did I regard, O King of the Age, the vicissitudes
of Time and Change; nay, I held them with so tight a rein that
whenever the boys heard me sneeze[FN#135] they were expected to
lay down their writing-tablets and stand up with their arms
crossed and exclaim, "Allah have ruth upon thee, O our lord!"
whereto I would make reply, "Allah deign pardon us and you!" And
if any of the lads failed or delayed to join in this prayer I was
wont to bash him with a severe bashing. One day of the days they
asked leave to visit the outskirts of the town for liberty and
pleasuring[FN#136] and when I granted it they clubbed their
pittances for a certain sum of money to buy them a noonday meal.
So we went forth to the suburbs and there found verdure and
water, and we enjoyed ourselves that day with perfect enjoyment
until mid-afternoon when we purposed to return homewards.
Accordingly, the boys collected their belongings and laded them
upon an ass and we walked about half-way when behold, the whole
party, big and little, stood still and said to me, "O our lord,
we are athirst and burning with drowthiness, nor can we stir from
this spot and if we leave it without drinking we shall all die."
Now there was in that place a draw-well, but it was deep and we
had nor pitcher nor bucket nor aught wherein to draw water and
the scholars still suffered from exceeding thirst. We had with
us, however, cooking-gear such as chauldrons and platters; so I
said to them, "O boys, whoso carrieth a cord or hath bound his
belongings with one let him bring it hither!" They did my bidding
and I tied these articles together and spliced them as strongly
as I could: then said I to the lads, "Bind me under the
arm-pits." Accordingly they made me fast by passing the rope
around me and I took with me a chauldron, whereupon they let me
down bucket-wise into the well till I reached the water. Then I
loosed the bandage from under my armpits and tied it to the
chauldron which I filled brim-full and shook the rope for a
signal to the boys above. They haled at the vessel till they
pulled it up and began drinking and giving drink; and on this
wise they drew a first chauldron and a second and a third and a
fourth till they were satisfied and could no more and cried out
to me, "We have had enough, quite enough." Hereupon I bound the
bandage under my armpits, as it was when I went down, and I shook
it as a signal and they haled me up till I had well-nigh reached
the kerbstone of the well when a fit of sneezing seized me and I
sneezed violently. At this all let go their hold and carrying
their arms over their breasts, cried aloud, "Allah have ruth upon
thee, O our lord!" but I, as soon as they loosed hold, fell into
the depths of the well and brake my back. I shrieked for excess
of agony and all the boys ran on all sides screaming for aid till
they were heard by some wayfaring folk; and these haled at me and
drew me out. They placed me upon the ass and bore me home: then
they brought a leach to medicine me and at last I became even as
thou seest me, O Sultan of the Age. Such, then, is my story
showing the weakness of my wits; for had I not enjoined and
enforced over-respect the boys would not have let go their hold
when I happened to sneeze nor would my back have been broken.
"Thou speakest sooth, O Shaykh," said the Sultan, "and indeed
thou hast made evident the weakness of thy wit." Then quoth he to
the man who was cloven of mouth. "And thou, the other, what was
it split thy gape?" "The weakness of my wit, O my lord the
Sultan," quoth he, and fell to telling the