AMONG THE WATER LILIES.
"I left off with a half-finished sentence. Mrs. Harrington's maid broke
in upon me at the moment with a message from the young master, as she
calls him. In a hollow among the hills he has found a pond of
water-lilies, and I must hasten to see them unfold their snowy hearts to
the morning sun, after sleeping all night upon the lake.
"Will I go? Surely one of those lotus flowers never thrilled a more
grateful response to the wave that sways it, than my heart gives back to
his wish--will I go? Those sleeping buds will not answer the sunbeams
that kiss them into another day of bloom, more gladly than I take the
happiness he offers. I have been restless and sad all night, and my
heart leaps to this new prospect of pleasure, as a bird flutters forth
from the shadowy leaves where it has spent the dark hours.
"The lotus pond was like a fairy lake, when we reached it; the banks
were festooned and garlanded with wild vines, prairie roses, and yellow
jessamines, overrunning whole hedgerows of swamp magnolias, whose
blended odor floated like a mist over the waters. Here and there an oak,
with long, hoary moss bearding its limbs, lifted whole masses of this
entangled foliage into the air, and flung it back again in a thousand
garlands and blooming streamers, that rippled dreamily in the waters of
the lake. As we came up, an oriole had lighted on one of these pendant
branches, and poured a flood of song over us as we passed down to the
boat, which lay in a pretty cove ready to receive us.
"An old negro sat in the boat, lazily waiting our approach, with his
face bowed upon his brawny bosom, and the sun striking through the
branches upon a head that seemed covered with crisp frost, age had so
completely whitened his hair. A word from the young master roused the
slumbering old man; and, with a broad grin of delight, he proceeded to
arrange the crimson cushions, and trim his sails, making haste to put
forth on our cruise along the shore, which was starred with opening
lotus blossoms, and green with their broad-floating leaves.
"It made my heart thrill with a sort of pain, as our boat ploughed
through this exquisite sheet of blossoms--for, as I have said before, it
has always seemed to me like uprooting a tender thought when a flower is
torn from its stem. I said something like this, as Harrington laid a
handful of the open flowers in my lap. He looked at me steadily for a
moment--muttered that it was a strange fancy--but plucked no more
water-lilies that day. After a time, when the old man, thinking to
please us, commenced to tear them up by the roots, Harrington rebuked
him for his roughness, and bade him trim the boat for a sail across the
lake.
"I wonder why it is, that, when we feel deepest, a disposition to
silence always holds the senses in thralldom. I did not speak half a
dozen words, as our boat sped like a bird across the lake; and yet my
heart was full of happiness, for Harrington had his dark eyes fixed
with a sort of dreamy earnestness on my face all the time. A
consciousness so strange, and almost delirious, seized upon me, that I
could neither look up nor speak, but bowed my head over the blossoms in
my lap, whispering to them what had never been uttered in words, and
never perhaps, may be.
"While we sat thus in mute happiness, with nothing but the ripple of the
boat to break the exquisite joy of our silence, the oriole began to sing
again, and his mate answered back the song from across the lake. I
looked up, and met his eyes: a flush came to his forehead, and I felt
the warm blood burning over my cheeks and forehead. His lips parted, and
for one instant he took my hand, but only to drop it among the cold
water-lilies again, as if some distressing thought had aroused him to
painful consciousness. Why was this? how came it that he relinquished my
hand so abruptly? Was he shocked with my upward glances--did he think my
recognition of his thoughts unmaidenly?
"The orioles ceased to sing just then, and a sullen cloud came sweeping
over us, which broke upon the pond in a sudden squall of wind. Before
the old man could reef his sail, it gave way, and fluttered out, like
the wounded wing of a bird, bearing our boat with it. The first plunge
cast me forward at Harrington's feet; he caught me to his bosom,
pressing me there with one arm, while he drew in the sail with the
other.
"The wind rose high, tearing in a tornado across the pond; but, I am
sure--sure as I am of the beating of my own heart, that Harrington
trembled from other causes than the danger we were in. Twice he bent his
lips to my face, but checked himself with murmurs which the cruel wind
carried from me.
"I do not know how we reached the shore, or why it was that we walked in
such profound silence homeward--but this I do know, another hour like
that would have broken my heart with its wealth of happiness.
"I could not sleep last night, but lay quietly, with my hands folded
softly over my bosom as had been a childish habit, thinking over that
sail upon the lotus pond. The moonbeams stole into my room, penetrating
the roses that hung around the casement, and bringing their odor softly
around my couch. This rendered my happiness complete.
"The morning found me wakeful, but when it brightened into day, I closed
my eyes, and turned my head upon the pillow, ashamed that the broad
light should witness my happiness.
* * * * *
"How sudden this is. Mrs. Harrington has been fading away for a month.
Her physician recommends change of climate, and in ten days we all start
for Madeira, or perhaps, Spain. _He_ goes with us, and I am content.
"On shipboard at last! Here I sit in my little cabin and listen to the
heaving of the waves against the vessel, as it ploughs proudly along, as
if full of the consciousness of its own strength, and defying the very
elements to impede its progress.
"The past ten days have been one continued fever of excitement, and I
have scarcely opened my journal. This trip to Europe was finally decided
upon in such haste, that we have known hardly a moment of rest.
"We were on board this morning at ten o'clock, and two hours after, New
York lay stretched out behind us on the shore of its beautiful bay, like
some enchanted city asleep in the sunlight.
"All that was dear to me stood by my side, so I had no sorrow at my
departure, beyond the natural feeling of regret that all must feel on
quitting their native land. I could not understand Mrs. Harrington's
burst of grief, so unlike her usual quiet demeanor. She has not seemed
much in favor of this voyage, although she made no opposition when
certain how greatly her husband desired to go. There has been a strange
unrest about her for days, that I could not comprehend, but from a few
words she unthinkingly uttered this morning, I imagine her to be haunted
by one of those morbid fancies, which at times seize upon the strongest
mind, in the eve of a long journey--the idea that she will never again
behold the land she is leaving behind.
"She has been laying down in her cabin all day, for she suffers greatly,
and I spent several hours with her, but at sunset James called me on
deck. We stood side by side at the stern of the ship, and saw the sun go
down behind a mass of clouds more gorgeous than I ever beheld. The
western sky seemed alive with molten flame--great billows of crimson
rolled up against the amber waves of light the sun had left behind,
streaming down over the waters, like a torrent of rainbows, until one
could scarce tell which was sea and which sky.
"We stood there until the latest glories died, and then the moon stole
slowly up, with only one star beside her, like the one bright hope of a
human heart. We conversed but little. My soul was too full of the home
we had left, and I knew, by the expression of Harrington's face, that he
understood and shared my feelings. It was late when I left him, and I
cannot write more. My hand is tremulous with the strange feelings which
thrill at my heart; the excitement of these last few days has been too
much for me, but in the quiet of this new life I shall grow calm again,
perhaps. Just now something of Mrs. Harrington's fears seems to oppress
me.
"A month has passed. Our voyage is almost at an end, for to-morrow the
captain promises that we shall be safely anchored in the harbor of
Cadiz. The sun went down this evening in an embankment of clouds,
shedding pale, watery gleams upon the sea, that threatened rough
weather. As the darkness came on, the clouds spread upward, blackening
the whole sky, and flashes of lightning now and then tore through them,
like fiery chain shot through the smoke of a battle. There was
consternation on board, for we were nearing the coast, and a storm like
this threatened danger.
"I remained on deck till the rising wind almost swept me over the
bulwarks. James Harrington was with me, and as the lightning gleamed
athwart his face, I saw that it was anxious and very pale. He strove to
appear unconcerned, and went down to the cabin, with a strong effort at
cheerfulness, which neither deceived me, nor checked the terrible fears
of his poor mother. General Harrington had retired to his state-room,
where he sat in moody silence, wrapped in a large travelling cloak. When
his invalid wife joined him, trembling with nervous terror, he only
folded his cloak the tighter around himself, and muttered that she need
apprehend no danger.
"Young Mr. Harrington wrung my hand with more of warmth than he had ever
exhibited before, when he bade me good night. He has gone on deck, while
I am cowering in my state-room, unable to seek rest, and striving to
write, though the storm is howling louder and louder, and every lurch of
the ship flings the book from my lap."