_Todd’s Parlour in Cozy Cottage_.—(_Same as Scene I_.)
TODD _is discovered asleep_, _as at the close of the first scene_; _the
candles which were then long_, _have burnt down in the sockets_.
TODD. Call the police! call the fire brigade! help! help! murder!—two
wives—Marietta—Mrs. Todd—murder—bigamy—
_Enter_ MRS. TODD _hastily_, (_dressed as in Scene I_.) R. 1 E.
MRS. T. Samuel, my dear, what’s the matter?
TODD. Murder! Cospetto! Maladetta!
MRS. T. Why, Samuel, Samuel! (_shaking him_) You’re asleep—waken—will
you—you’ve slept here all night.
TODD. (_starts up and staggers about_) Hoh! help—police—fire—water—she’s
a rattlesnake—a fiend—a demon—a—Lau—Laura—
MRS. T. (_holding and shaking him_) Todd—Todd—Samuel!
TODD. (_becoming conscious and rubbing his eyes_) Hoh! what? Bless me!
where am I?
MRS. T. (R.) Where should you be but in your own parlour?
TODD. (L.) My own parlour? And you are—
MRS. T. Don’t you see—I’m your own Laura—your dear wife?
TODD. My wife! but where’s the other? Where’s my rattlesnake?
MRS. T. Why, Sam, you’re not awake yet—you’re still dreaming. You would
sit up last night over those papers, (_goes to table_, C.) and you’ve
been smoking a filthy cigar.
TODD. An opium cigar! that’s it! Then I’m not a brigand with two wives!
Laura, my love, come to the arms of your doting husband. (_they
embrace_—_door bell rings outside_)
MRS. T. There’s the policeman who was to ring the bell at five o’clock.
You know we start at six.
TODD. Oh, yes, to be sure! I’ll be ready in five minutes. But first a
word with our friends. (_to audience_) If I have been dreaming that you
are pleased, pray don’t dispel so pleasant an illusion—but, with your
usual good nature—give me a lucky omen for my dream to-night and
to-morrow.—“What will they say at Brompton?”
MRS. T. R.
TODD. L.
Curtain.
* * * * *
THOMAS SCOTT, PRINTER, WARWICK COURT, HOLBORN.