"Off?" Thank goodness, yes!
Always was--confound it!--
An unsavoury mess,
Foulness reeking round it.
Resurrection pie
Not in it for nastiness.
Dished-up--who knows why?--
With unseemly hastiness.
Of the _chef's_ poor skill,
Feeblest of expedients.
Sure we've had our fill
Of its stale ingredients.
_Toujours perdrix_? Pooh!
That is scarce delightful;
_Toujours_ Irish Stew
Very much more frightful.
Thrice-cooked colewort? Ah!
That no doubt were tedious;
But this hotch-potch? Pah!
Thought of it is hideous.
It has been too long
_Pièce de résistance_;
Take its odour strong
To unsniffing distance.
Waiter's self looks sick
At the very thought of it.
Oh, remove it, quick!
Customers want nought of it.
Eh? One hungry sinner
Asks another plateful?
He should have his dinner
Snatched by harpies fateful.
Kitchen never yet
Knew a failure greater.
Few its end regret.
Surely not the Waiter.
He his finger had
In the pie--or gravy.
Did he? Well, 'tis sad.
He must cry "_Peccavi!_"
But whoever mixed,
Or whoever boiled it,
Our opinion's fixed,
He, or they, quite spoiled it.
'Tis the general scoff,
Butt of chaff and rudeness.
Irish Stew is "Off",
Finally--Thank Goodness!
* * * * *
REVISED VERSION. "IN GLOBO."--The author of Dixon's Johnsonary, who last
week sent us a paragraph about the Globe Theatre (where, he said, it was
pleasant to find the name of SHAKSPEARE once more associated with that
of his great contemporary, JOHN BENSON), was wrong in saying that Miss
DOROTHY DENE is taking the part of _Hippolyta_ in _The Midsummer
Matinée's Dream_. It is very kind of so conscientious an _artiste_ to
"take anybody's part." But, as a matter of fact, Miss DOROTHY is
appearing as _Helena, La belle Hélène_, in the same drama.
* * * * *
"SPRING HATS FOR LADIES."--Are they going to adopt the _gibus_?
* * * * *