Farewell.
"Oh! grandmamma, _what_ is it?" said Beatrix, clasping her thin wrist.
The old lady, stooping over the chair on which she leaned, stared darkly
after the vanished image, trembling very much.
"_What_ is Deverell--why should the name be so dreadful--is there
anything--oh! grandmamma, _is_ there anything very bad?"
"I don't know--I am confused--did you ever see such a face? My gracious
Heaven!" muttered Lady Alice.
"Oh! grandmamma, darling, tell me what it is, I implore of you."
"Yes, dear, everything; another time. I can't now. I might do a
mischief. I might prevent--you must promise me, darling, to tell no one.
You must not say his name is Deverell. _You_ say nothing about it. That
dreadful, dreadful story!"
The folio was lying with crumpled leaves, back upward, on the floor,
where it had fallen.
"There is something plainly fearful in it. _You_ think so, grandmamma;
something discovered; something going to happen. Send after him,
grandmamma; call him back. If it is anything you can prevent, I'll
ring."
"Don't _touch_ the bell," cried granny, sharply, clutching at her hand,
"don't _do_ it. See, Beatrix, you promise me you say nothing to anyone
of what you've witnessed--_promise_. I'll tell you all I know when I'm
better. He'll come again. I _wish_ he'd come again. I'm sure he will,
though I hardly think I could bear to see him. I don't know what to
think."
The old lady threw herself back in her chair, not affectedly at all, but
looking so awfully haggard and agitated that Beatrix was frightened.
"Call nobody, there's a darling; just open the window; I shall be
better."
And she heaved some of those long and heavy sighs which relieve
hysterical oppression; and, after a long silence, she said--
"It is a long time since I have felt so ill, Beatrix. Remember this,
darling, my papers are in the black cabinet in my bed-room at home--I
mean Wardlock. There is not a great deal. My jointure stops, you know;
but whatever little there is, is for you, darling."
"You're not to talk of it, granny, darling, you'll be quite well in a
minute; the air is doing you good. May I give you a little wine?--Well,
a little water?"
"Thanks, dear; I _am_ better. Remember what I told you, and particularly
your promise to mention what you heard to no one. I mean
the--the--strange scene with that young man. I think I will take a glass
of wine. I'll tell you all when I'm better--when Monsieur Varbarriere
comes back. It is important for a time, especially having heard what I
have, that I should wait a little."
Granny sipped a little sherry slowly, and the tint of life, such as
visits the cheek of the aged, returned to hers, and she was better.
"I'd rather not see him any more. It's all like a dream. I don't know
what to make of it," muttered granny; and she began audibly to repeat
passages, tremblingly and with upturned eyes, from her prayer-book.
Perplexed, anxious, excited, Beatrix looked down on the collapsed and
haggard face of the old lady, and listened to the moaned petition,
"Lord, have mercy upon us!" which trembled from her lips as it might
from those of a fainting sinner on a death-bed.
Guy Deverell, as I shall henceforward call him, thinking of nothing but
escape into solitude, was soon a good way from the house. He was too
much agitated, and his thoughts too confused at first, to estimate all
the possible consequences of the sudden disclosure he had just made.
What would Varbarriere, who could be stern and violent, say or do, when
he learned it? Here was the one injunction on which he had been ever
harping violated. He felt how much he owed to the unceasing care of that
able and disinterested friend through all his life, and how had he
repaid it all!
"Anything but deception--anything but that. I could not endure the agony
of my position longer--yes, agony."
He was now wandering by the bank of the solitary river, and looked back
at the picturesque gables of Marlowe Manor through the trees; and he
felt that he was leaving all that could possibly interest him in
existence in leaving Marlowe. Always was rising in his mind the one
thought, "What does she think of my deception and my agitation--what can
she think of _me_?"
It is not easy, even in silence and alone, when the feelings are at all
ruffled, to follow out a train of thought. Guy thought of his
approaching farewell to his uncle: he sometimes heard his great voice
thundering in despair and fury over his ruined schemes--schemes, be they
what they might, at least unselfish. Then he thought of the effect of
the discovery on Sir Jekyl, who, no doubt, had special reasons for alarm
connected with this name--a secret so jealously guarded by Varbarriere.
Then he thought of his future. His commission in the French army awaited
him. A life of drudgery or listlessness? No such thing! a career of
adventure and glory--ending in a baton or death! Death is so romantic in
the field! There are always some beautiful eyes to drop in secret those
tears which are worth dying for. It is not a crowded trench, where fifty
corpses pig together in the last noisome sleep--but an apotheosis!
He was sure he had done well in yielding to the impulse that put an end
to the tedious treachery he had been doomed to practise; and if well,
then _wisely_--so, no more retrospection.
All this rose and appeared in fragments like a wreck in the eddies of
his mind.
One thing was clear--he must leave Marlowe forthwith. He could not meet
his host again. He stood up. It is well to have hit upon anything to be
done--anything quite certain.
With rapid steps he now returned to Marlowe, wondering how far he had
walked, as it seemed to him, in so mere a moment of time.
The house was deserted; so fine a day had tempted all its inmates but
old Lady Alice abroad. He sent to the village of Marlowe for a chaise,
while Jacques, who was to await where he was the return of his master,
Monsieur Varbarriere, got his luggage into readiness, and he himself
wrote, having tried and torn up half a dozen, a note to Sir Jekyl,
thanking him for his hospitality, and regretting that an unexpected
occurrence made his departure on so short notice unavoidable. He did not
sign it. He would not write his assumed name. Sir Jekyl could have no
difficulty in knowing from which of his guests it came, perhaps would
not even miss the signature.
The chaise stood at the door-steps, his luggage stowed away, his dark
short travelling cloak about his shoulders, and his note to Sir Jekyl in
his fingers.
He entered the great hall, meaning to place it on the marble table where
Sir Jekyl's notes and newspapers usually awaited him, and there he
encountered Beatrix.
There was no one else. She was crossing to the outer door, and they
almost met before they came to a stop.
"Oh! Mr. Strangways."
"Pray call me by my real name, Deverell. Strangways was my mother's; and
in obedience to those who are wiser than I, during my journey I adopted
it, although the reasons were not told me."
There was a little pause here.
"I am very glad I was so fortunate as to meet you, Miss Marlowe, before
I left. I'm just going, and it would be such a privilege to know that
you had not judged me very hardly."
"I'm sure papa will be very sorry you are going--a break-up is always a
sad event--we miss our guests so much," she said, smiling, but a little
pale.
"If you knew my story, Miss Marlowe, you would acquit me," he said,
bursting forth all at once. "Misfortune overtook me in my early
childhood, before I can remember. I have no right to trouble you with
the recital; and in my folly I superadded this--the worst--that madly I
gave my love to one who could not return it--who, perhaps, ought not to
have returned it. Pardon me, Miss Marlowe, for talking of these things;
but as I am going away, and wished you to understand me, I thought,
perhaps, you would hear me. Seeing how hopeless was my love, I never
told it, but resolved to see her no more, and so to the end of my days
will keep my vow; but this is added, that for her sake my life becomes a
sacrifice--a real one--to guard her from sorrows and dangers, which I
believe _did_ threaten her, and to save her from which I devote myself,
as perhaps she will one day understand. I thought I would just tell you
so much before I went, and--and--that _you_ are that lady. Farewell,
dear Miss Marlowe, most beautiful--beloved."
He pressed her hand, he kissed it passionately, and was gone.
It was not until she had heard the vehicle drive rapidly away that she
quite recovered herself. She went into the front hall, and, through the
window, standing far back, watched the receding chaise. When it was out
of sight, humming a gay air, she ran up-stairs, and into her bed-room,
when, locking the door, she wept the bitterest tears, perhaps, she had
ever shed, since the days of her childhood.