ORIENTAL NUPTIALS
_Chinese Espousals_
THERE are no marriages in China for a hundred days following the death
of an Emperor. But on all other days, marriage processions of various
degrees of gorgeousness follow each other along the streets in
interminable succession.
Theoretically the Emperor is the only Chinaman who sees the face of his
wife before their marriage. As a matter of fact, in the poorer classes,
boys and girls grow up together, play together, work together, and fall
in love with each other. And even in the richer classes, where poverty
does not drive the girls into public view, love matches are not so very
uncommon. Chinese literature is replete with love stories. And the love
poems of China are remarkable from a human point as much as from a
Mongolian.
The most important marriages that ever take place in China are the
marriages of the Emperor. To those marriages every daughter of every
Chinese grandee aspires. When the Emperor ascends the throne, the
grandees of the court bring to him all their unmarried daughters. He
selects all that please him, and the chosen girls rejoice together.
The Emperor of China never allies himself, directly or indirectly, with
any foreign prince. The Chinese Royal Family is purely Chinese. The
daughters of the Emperor are often given in marriage to favourite
mandarins. The family that can furnish his Majesty with one of his many
wives—the family that can form an alliance with one of the sovereign’s
daughters—is sure to gain great influence and power, and to be loaded
with many honours. There is no limit to the number of an Emperor’s
wives, except the limit placed by his own apathy. He is a very absolute
monarch indeed, is the Emperor of China. There is, among the countless
millions of his subjects, one person only who may dare to differ from
him, to admonish him, or even to urgently advise him,—his mother. There
are two things in China mightier than the Emperor of China: the mother
of the Emperor and public opinion. He must heed both, if they speak
emphatically enough.
But among his Majesty’s many wives there is one who is chief. She is
called Hrang-Hou. She is the Empress; she enjoys peculiar prerogatives;
she is usually a person of vast influence. The wives of a Chinese
Emperor are securely shut in a palace of their own. They hold no
communication with the outer world. The outer world sees nothing of
them; but they see China, very much as the people of a country village
often see the world—through a cheap stereoscope. If a wife of the
Emperor expresses curiosity about some famous city, a miniature
representation of that city is probably built in the palace park. Which
is one way of making the mountain come to Mohammed, is it not? The wives
of the Emperor are often allowed to sit behind gratings and watch
ceremonies and feasts. They are lavishly supplied with everything except
freedom, general society, and feet. I fancy that they are all well
educated. I have never known the wife of a Chinese Emperor; but I have
known Chinese women of lesser rank who were positively highly educated.
And nowhere is education more valued—its power more understood—than in
China. Nowhere is education more valuable, for in China a man’s rank
depends solely upon what he can do or has done. It is most probable that
the grandees, who may aspire to bestow their daughters upon the Emperor,
give those daughters—from whose influence they hope so much—every
possible advantage of education.
Chinese widows re-marry, but the practice is not held in high repute.
The widows of the Emperor can never re-marry. Upon his death they are
removed to a building which stands within the palace precincts. It is
called the Palace of Chastity. There the widows of the Emperor—with the
possible exception of her who is now the Empress Mother—must live and
die. But they are held in the greatest honour, treated with the greatest
respect and consideration.
The favourite wife of a Chinese Emperor is a very potential lady, and
she is rather apt to retain her power. She is beautiful, according to
Chinese standards of beauty, or the Emperor would never have chosen her.
She is most probably a woman of unusual culture and education. She is
very possibly a woman of intellect; for she is a grandee’s daughter, and
no meagrely-minded man attains to grandeeship in China. And it goes
without saying that she is the best-dressed woman in China. She has
nothing to do but welcome the suzerain and to please him. She belongs to
no society for the advancement of her own sex. She may not even write to
the daily papers; but she is rather warmly liked by her royal
master-husband for all that. And many a Chinese Emperor has been in
despair at the death of his favourite wife. In the middle of the
seventeenth century, the Emperor Chun-Chee, who was the founder of the
present dynasty, sacrificed, at the tomb of his favourite wife, thirty
odd slaves. That was a nice little _post-mortem_ custom; but it has died
out. Paper men are now burnt at Chinese graves, that the spirit of the
dead may not lack servants in the after-life. And yet, as far as I could
find out, but few Chinamen really believe in an after-life. What a
strange inconsistency on the part of a people usually so consistent!
I have said that only the Emperor’s mother dare cross the Emperor’s
will. But only the God of Marriage knows what battles are fought and won
within those closely-guarded palace gardens, when the sovereign visits
his wives. I have very little faith in the powerlessness of
lock-and-keyed wives. In India I knew a Maharajah who was abjectly
afraid of his purdahed Maharanee’s sharp little tongue.
China is a huge place. Though customs are essentially the same all over
China, some of them are greatly differentiated in detail. This is
probably one reason that almost all English written accounts of Chinese
weddings differ markedly. I fancy that a greater reason is that the
almost impregnable reticence of the Chinese makes it very difficult for
an Occidental to definitely learn much concerning the fundamental
customs of Chinese life.
The age is very variable at which Chinese marriages are contracted. I
have seen Chinese brides of very tender years, and I have seen Chinese
brides who looked positively mature.
Ordinarily a Chinaman buys his wife. He does not see her (or is supposed
not to see her) until the marriage; but his women representatives have a
good long look at her and report to him, or to his parents, if those are
still living. If all the preliminary details are satisfactorily
arranged, the bargain is concluded. The bridegroom pays the bride’s
parents the stipulated “wife-price.” He retires to his own house and
there awaits his unseen bride. She is placed in a closed palanquin, a
fantastic sedan chair, which is carried at the end or in the centre of
the bridal procession. This procession is as elaborate as the means of
the contracting families will permit, and as grotesque as Chinese fancy
can invent. In it are lanterns, musical instruments, fans, umbrellas,
insignia of rank, and covered tables on which are roast pigs and a
hundred and one Chinese dainties. The bearers of all these ornaments and
symbols are clad in bright red, or at least wear red jackets. The
musicians play, the crowd shouts, in sing-song Chinese fashion, and the
two bridesmaids proudly follow the sedan chair. The chair is locked and
the key is carried by a trusted servant. The bridegroom waits at his own
gate, clad in his dress of ceremony. A Chinese dress of ceremony is a
most remarkable collection of remarkable garments; its colours and many
of its details depend entirely upon the rank of its wearer. The key of
the palanquin is handed to the bridegroom. He presses forward; the crowd
draws back; the bridegroom unlocks the palanquin and looks at its
contents. If he is pleased, he leads his bride into his house and the
marriage is celebrated. If the bridegroom is disappointed, the bride is
sent back to her parents and there is no wedding. But in that case the
bridegroom that was to have been, must pay the girl’s parents a sum
equal to the sum for which he bought her. Even after the marriage the
wife can be divorced and returned to her parents upon payment of a sum
identical with the “wife money” which was her first price. The causes
for divorce with which the Chinese popular mind is most sympathetic are
those that arise from the misrepresentation of the bride by her parents.
If she is less attractive in face or figure than she was said to
be—above all, if she has larger feet—every Chinaman is justified, to
the popular mind, in divorcing his wife.
If the bridegroom is pleased and the bride goes in, the friends follow
and a gigantic feast is offered and accepted. The marriage ceremony
itself is far less important, I believe, to the Chinese mind than the
marriage feast. The marriage ceremonies of almost all the Oriental
peoples are strangely alike. The chief detail of the Chinese marriage
ritual is, I understand, the tying together of bride and bridegroom.
Scarlet strings fasten them together, waist to waist and foot to foot.
Nothing seems to me more difficult of description than the position of
woman in China. As I have so often said, reliable and precise
information is so hard to obtain. But more than that, the position of
woman in China is so complex. As a wife she is placed beneath her
husband and is subservient to him, because the Chinese regard the female
as inferior to the male. As a mother she is placed above her son, and he
is subservient to her, because the Chinese regard the parent as superior
to the child. But with the Chinese the superiority of parentage is far
greater than any possible superiority of sex.
My observation in China was, necessarily, limited, but it was very
earnest. It was my observation that the Chinese men were not unkind to
the Chinese women. I spent some time among the water populations of
Hong-Kong and Canton. In both of those cities incredible thousands live
in the crudest native boats,—live in sampans. They seemed very happy,
contented little families, despite their dire poverty. The women worked
hard, but they were certainly consulted about every family matter. I
never saw a race of women who struck me as being less cowed. I often
used to watch them at their wretched meals; it was share and share
alike, with the nicer share for the wife and the tidbits for the baby.
It is true that among the poorer classes of the Chinese the women do
tremendously hard work; but it is also true that they are tremendously
strong. It is as true that women are forced to stupendous labour
wherever poverty is more the rule than the exception. The Chinese women
of the coolie class labour in the fields, they break stones on the
streets of Hong-Kong, they carry heavy boxes on and off the boats that
anchor in the Canton river,—but they are not ciphers in their own
families. I do not believe that they are ever cuffed; I doubt if they
are ever cursed.
A Chinese gentleman is superlatively polite. This may not be generally
known, because the upper classes in China are so reluctant to know us or
to let us know them. But it is true. We know one Chinese family of rank
rather well; we have eaten with the men of the family and with the
women. Truth compels me to mention that the gentleman of the house had
two wives. Whether they ordinarily ate with him I do not know. I fancy
that their doing so when we were there was an act of consideration for
me; yet I am not sure, for they were easy and self-possessed. And this I
do know, that the men of the house were most unfailingly courteous to
them. I believe that, on the whole, Mongolian married life is very
fairly satisfactory to the Mongolians. If they are satisfied, why, in
the name of reasonableness, should they be disturbed? If the women of
the upper classes are not always, or even often, supreme in their home
lives, they are at least secure of deferential and courteous treatment.
One of the chief proverbs of China—and I thought it a delightful
one—is, “You must listen to your wife, but not believe her.”