He must never know. I could not live and have him know that I believed
it. I am paying. I shall pay. I only ask you to keep it, forever--all
that you saw--all that was said--to-day----"
"I will keep it, Beth."
"Even from Vina. Vina is pure. He would read it in her eyes--if she
knew. I wonder that he loved me.... God!... You have enough of the
world left--to bury this evil thing--for me. I am glad of your
happiness."
"Vina will want to see you to-day."
"She may come.... You may say I have been ill. It is true.... I shall
stay and be with you for your marriage. You want me----"
"We came back to New York for that."
"Yes.... And then I shall go away."
Cairns lingered. "But Beth, Bedient will always love you. He will come
back----"
"It is not the same. You will see when he writes. I made him
suffer--until a great light came--and he is the world's--not mine."
"Beth," he said humbly, "you are Absolute!"
"I shall come back--strong enough to meet him--as one of the world's
women--or I shall stay away," she said.
THIRTY-NINTH CHAPTER
ANOTHER SMILAX AFFAIR
The _Hatteras_ was warping into a New York slip the day before
Christmas. Bedient was aboard. There was to be a little party for him,
given by Cairns and Vina at the _Smilax Club_ that night. The Cairns'
had come over from Nantucket for the winter, and were living at the
Club. This was Bedient's third trip to New York in the half-year
preceding. He had not seen Beth, but there had been letters between
them--of late, important letters, big with reality and understanding.
She had been in Europe since July, but had promised to be home for the
holidays. Vina's last letter told him that Beth would be at their
affair of greeting to-night.
Adith Mallory saw Jim Framtree in New York, after her hours with Beth
Truba. It was the day before he sailed for Equatoria. Framtree asked
her not to tell Mr. Bedient that the name of Framtree was spoken in her
conversation with Beth. This request gave her a clearer understanding.
Bedient may have guessed that the mystery of the return of Jim Framtree
was penetrated by Beth, but he did not ask Miss Mallory, nor mention
Framtree in his letters to the lustrous lady. He doubtless wondered at
the hasty return of his young friend, but it was a privilege of Beth to
return his gifts--one of the glowing mysteries of Beth.
Just now, Bedient caught the waving hand of David Cairns in the small
crowd below. Fifteen minutes later they were in a cab together.... Beth
had returned to New York. This was the answer to Bedient's first
question.
"Are you going to stay with us this time, Andrew?" Cairns asked, raptly
studying his friend.
"Yes. Several weeks at least."
"At the Club?"
"No. I shall go back to Broderick Street to-morrow."
This was a broken arrow of black sorrows near the East River, straight
East from Gramercy. Bedient had found it in the summer, where it had
lain rotting in its wound.
"So the New York office of the Carreras plantations is to be in
Broderick Street," Cairns said thoughtfully.
"But I'll be with you often.... And, David, I've brought up a small
manuscript which I want you to read. After that we'll advise together
about its publishing----"
"That _is_ important--if the stuff is anything like your letters to
me.... Have you thought of attaching your name to this beginning?"
"Not more than _A.B._"
* * * * *
"Is everything bright down yonder?" Cairns asked after a moment.
"Bright past any idea you can have. Framtree is doing
greatly--indispensable--and loves the life. Miss Mallory still unfolds.
She's a Caribbean of buried treasure----"
"And _they_?" Cairns asked.
"Are friends."
...Vina met them in her studio. The three stood for a moment in silence
among the panels. It was not yet four in the afternoon, but the dusk
was thickening.... Vina put on her hat.
"I've just received word from Mary McCullom," she said. "She's in Union
Hospital--I don't know--but I must hurry. The word said that Mary
McCullom wanted me--nothing more. That was her maiden-name. I knew her
so. Her husband died recently, but I didn't hear in time to find her.
She must have left New York for a time. They were _so_ happy.... I'm
afraid----"
David went to her.
"No, you mustn't go with me, David. There are too many things to
do--for to-night----"
"Let me go, Vina," Bedient said.
In the cab, she told him the story of Mary McCullom's failure as an
artist and conquest as a woman--the same story she had told Beth
Truba--and what meant the love of the nurseryman--to Mary McCullom.
Vina's voice had a strange sound in the shut cab. She felt Bedient's
presence, as some strength almost too great for her vitality to
sustain. He did not speak.
"Sometimes it seems almost sacrilege," she said in a trembling tone,
"to be so happy as we have been.... I should have persevered until I
found her--after her ... oh, what that must have meant to her!... And
she used to rely upon me so----"
* * * * *
"... Oh, Vina!" the woman whispered, holding out her arms. "I have
wanted you!... I have waited for you to come.... I knew you would. I
always loved you, because you made me take him!... We were so happy....
Draw the coverlet back----"
A new-born child was sleeping at her breast.
Vina had knelt. Her head bent forward in silent passion.
"Won't you, Vina--won't _you_ take him?"
Vina covered her face, but made no sound.
* * * * *
"She will take the little one," said the voice above them.
Both women turned their eyes to Bedient. Mary McCullom smiled shyly.
"I remember--David--Cairns," she said, in an awed tone. "This is
not----"
"No, dear, but it is enough. I will take your--baby."
The smile brightened.... "Oh, we were so happy," she whispered.... "And
Vina--tell him when he is older--how his father and I loved--the
thought of him!"
"He will bless you," Bedient said.
A glow had fallen upon the weary face of the mother.... "Yes," she
answered. "He will bless us ... and I shall be with my husband.... Oh,
now, I can go to my husband!"
* * * * *
Hours afterward, when it was over, Vina looked into Bedient's face,
saying:
"You may ask David--why I hesitated--that first moment."
"I know, Vina--God love you!"
Before they left the hospital, he said: "We won't speak of this
to-night.... Everything is arranged.... To-morrow morning, we will come
for the little boy.... It is time for us to be at the Club."
"I had forgotten," Vina answered vaguely.
* * * * *
Kate Wilkes and Marguerite Grey were waiting that evening in the Club
library. David Cairns had left them a moment before, called to the
telephone.
"Rather a contrast from that other night when we foregathered to meet
_The Modern_--fresh from the sea," Kate Wilkes observed.
"Yes," said the Grey One.
"David no longer belongs to the coasting-trade in letters," Kate Wilkes
went on whimsically. "He has emerged from a most stubborn case of
boyhood. Now he's got Vina's big spirit, and she has her happiness and
is doing her masterpiece----"
The women exchanged glances. "You mean the Stations?" the Grey One
asked in her quiet way.
"Beth has done a great portrait--enough for any woman--just _one_ like
that," Kate Wilkes added, ignoring the other.
"For a time--I thought Beth and Mr. Bedient----" the Grey One ventured.
"No," the other said briefly. "Beth loves her work better than she
could love any man. She's the virgin of pictures. Have you seen her
since she came back?"
"Yes. As lovely as ever."
"And your 'rage' is on again.... I'm mighty glad about that, Margie.
You were suicidal. Does the great fortune hold true?"
"Oh, yes," the Grey One said, "I'm doing right well. Some of my things
are going over the water."
"Poor little Wordling.... I wonder what she has drawn of the great
Driving Good--since that night?... I think it would puzzle even Andrew
Bedient--to make her hark to any soul--but New York's----"
"And you, Kate--this Eve--what has the Year brought?"
"Nonsense, I'm glass; hold oil or acid with equal ease," Kate said,
leaning back in the big chair. "I've got a bit of work to do, and a few
friends whose fortunes have taken a stunning turn for the better. And I
mustn't forget--letters from _The Modern_ when he's away, and talks
when he's in New York.... What astonishes me about Andrew Bedient is
that he wears. He set a killing pace--for our admiration at first--at
least, I thought so--but he hasn't let down an instant. He stands the
light of the public square. I granted him a great spirit, but he has
more, a great nature to hold it. He can mingle with men without going
mad. There's many a prophet who couldn't do that----"
David Cairns joined them. "They will be here in a few minutes," he
said. "Beth is due, too.... Talking about Bedient?"
"Yes----"
"I was just thinking," Cairns said, "that we were in a way concentrates
of New York and the country, and he is talking to all the people
through us."
"You are strong, aren't you, David--for him?" the Grey One asked.
"Yes, and I shall be stronger."
"I like that," said Kate Wilkes.
"He'll work through us--and directly," Cairns went on. "I'm glad to
wait and serve and build for a man like that. Why, if a thief took his
purse, he would only wish to give him a greater thing.... Moreover,
he's one of the Voices that will break Woman's silence of the
centuries."
"I believe much that he says--all that he says," Kate Wilkes replied,
"that Woman is the bread-giver, spiritual and material; that it is she
who conserves the ideals and rewards man for fineness and power--when
she has a chance. But I also believe that Woman must conquer in
herself--the love of luxury, her vanity, her fierce competition for
worldly position--if only for the disastrous effect of such evils upon
men. They force him to lower his dreams of her, who should be
high-priestess."
"He has not missed that," Cairns said, "but there have been multitudes
to tell Woman her faults. Bedient restores the dreams of women.... It
is Woman who has turned the brute mind of the world from War, and Woman
will turn the furious current of the race to-day from the Pits of
Trade, where abides the Twentieth Century Lie."
"David, you're steering straight through the Big Deep," Kate Wilkes
told him.
"I should have been of untimely birth, if he had not come to me as the
most rousing and inspiring of world-men. His face is turned away toward
a Great Light. He has put on power wonderfully in the last few
months.... He moves with men, but he sees beyond. I know that! And all
makes for the most glowing optimism. He sees that our race is on the
shadowy borders of cosmic consciousness, as the brightest of our
domestic animals to-day are on the borders of self-consciousness. He
sees that Woman will be the great teacher when humanity rises. Every
thing is bright to him in this shocking modern hour, for it heralds the
advent of the Risen Woman!... Yes, I am full of this. I have been
getting his letters, and writing about the things he has made me think.
The good that we do for the race--comes back--for we are the race
always. I've already found so much that is good in the world, that I
praise God every morning of my life!"
Beth had come. She was standing beside him.
"Glorious, David," she said.
And now Vina appeared, to lead them to the big round table in the room
of the cabinets.
"He will be here in a minute," she said.
At each place of the table was an engraved card, which Vina explained:
"When Mr. Bedient first came to my studio--to me it was a wonderful
afternoon. I asked him to write for me some of the things he said, and
I thought you would like to keep--what came of the request--his
_Credo_:"
I BELIEVE
In the natural greatness of Woman; that through the spirit of
Woman are born sons of strength; that only through the potential
greatness of Woman comes the militant greatness of man.
I believe Mothering is the loveliest of the Arts; that great
mothers are hand-maidens of the Spirit, to whom are intrusted
God's avatars; that no prophet is greater than his mother.
I believe when humanity arises to Spiritual evolution (as it once
evolved through Flesh, and is now evolving through Mind), Woman
will assume the ethical guiding of the race.
I believe that the Holy Spirit of the Trinity is Mystic
Motherhood, and the source of the divine principle in Woman; that
Prophets are the union of this divine principle and higher
manhood; that they are beyond the attractions of women of flesh,
because unto their manhood has been added Mystic Motherhood.
I believe in the Godhood of the Christ; that unto the manhood of
the Son and Mystic Motherhood was added, upon Resurrection, the
Third Lustrous Dimension of the Father-God; that, thus Jesus
became the first fruit of earth, and thus He is enhanced above St.
Paul and the Forerunner, becoming Three in One--Man, risen to
Prophecy through illumination of the Holy Spirit, and to Godhood,
through his ineffable services to Men.
I believe that the way to Godhood is the Rising Road of Man.
I believe that, as the human mother brings a child to her husband,
the father,--so Mystic Motherhood, the Holy Spirit, is bringing
the world to God, the Father.
All had read, when Bedient entered. He went first to Beth....
"It's our own original gathering," he said, after a moment, "--but Mrs.
Wordling--where is she?"
Cairns' eye turned to Beth. She fixed hers upon him, as if it helped to
hold her strength.
Kate Wilkes answered: "We can find out in a moment--in the West
somewhere with her company----"
"She's in Detroit this week," came slowly from Beth. "I saw it to-day
in a dramatic paper----"
"Thank you.... We'll send a telegram of greeting. She must know she
isn't forgotten."
He wrote it out.
Kate Wilkes glanced at the Grey One, as if to say: "Here's something to
make her forget the soul of New York."
"I'm thankful to be here," Bedient said, in a moment. "It's like one's
very own."
FORTIETH CHAPTER
FULL DAY UPON THE PLAIN
Beth awoke early Christmas morning, and leaned out of the window to
look at the East. After a week of the year's darkest days, had come a
lordly morn, bright garments fresh from ocean.... The night had shown
her clearly the great thing which had befallen Andrew Bedient, a
suggestion of which had come to her from the first Equatorian letter.
And how wonderfully his life had prepared him for it!... Thirty-odd
swift strange years--ships, Asia, queer voices, far travels, unspoken
friendships, possibly a point or two of passion, glimpses into dim
lands and dark lives, the adored memory of his Mother whispered only to
one dear living heart, yet glowing over all his days----
"It was a man's love, then," Beth whispered.
She remembered his comings and goings, his sayings and silences. All
were leveled and subdued by a serene and far-evolved spirit; and upon
all was the flower of truth. His love had been an inner reverent thing
which did not vaunt itself. All but once the passions he had felt were
his own deep property.... The Shadowy Sister, who would live on when
the worn-out earth of her being sank into its seventh year of
restoring,--yes, the Shadowy Sister had been chastened and strengthened
by his passing.
...Beth saw the little boy, faring forth alone without the Mother's
hand--out into the great world of sea--under his star. Not a single
preconception had his mind contained. Everything in the world had been
for him to take, and when he would have taken something ill, the Mother
had come and prevailed.... Only once he was denied--she, Beth, had done
that. Did the Mother prevail against her?... But how mightily had he
desired her!
Beth saw she had betrayed herself. She had been too much an artist of
the world, too little a visionary. She had not seen deeply enough his
inner beauty and integrity; too accustomed had she become to the
myriad-flaring commonness of daily life.... But would the greater
dimension have come to him, if she had given him the happiness he
thought he wanted? Had he turned to Vina Nettleton the man-love she,
Beth, had felt, and been answered with swift adoration, would he have
met in this life the Great Light on his hills?
...Too much artist--how Beth understood what that meant now! There is a
way to God through the arts, but it is a way of quicksands and miasmas,
of deep forests and abysses. Only giants emerge unhurt in spirit. The
artist is taught to worship line and surface; his early paths are the
paths of sensuousness. He may be held true at first by the rigors of
denial--but what a turning is the first success--his every capacity of
sense is suddenly tested, as only an artist's can be! Then, the hatred
of the unsuccessful; he must forge ahead in the teeth of a great wind
of contemporary hostility, _which rouses the Ego and not the Spirit_.
And finally the artist must choose between his visions, for alike come
purity and evil. The road of genius runs ever close to the black abyss
of madness. The human mind ignited with genius is like an old
time-weakened building, in which is installed new machinery of
startling power. What a racking upon old fabric!
The simple religious nature with its ventures into a milder spiritual
country, puts on glory with far less danger and pain than the artist,
and what a perfect surface is prepared within him for the arts to be
painted upon!
Beth knew she had lived her art-life bravely, loved her work with
valor, and served it with the best of her eye and hand. The life of
_just-woman_, she had wanted more, and idealized as only an artist
can--to be a man's maiden, a man's mate and the mother of his babes,
but this was not for her. The man had come, and she had turned him
away. _Just-woman_ would have held him fast. Yes, it was the artist
that had faltered at the right moment--the resolute creative force
within her, weathered in suffering, not to be intimidated, slow,
tragically slow to bow down.... A little Salvation band passed below:
Joy to the world,
The Lord is Come
Eight notes of the descending scale sounded mightily from drum and
cornet....
* * * * *
Bedient was coming this morning. He had asked to, the night before;
asked if he might come early.... What a morning for bleak December! She
went to the window. Islands of rose and lily were softly blooming in
the lakes of Eastern light. Heaven was building in the East--its spires
to rise unto high noon....
His step was on the stair. Beth hurried to the door. She saw his
strange smile, and the bundle in his arms.
"I thought you would like to play with him for a while," he said. "He's
a wonderfully blessed little boy.... You really had to see him----"
Beth had taken the babe to a far corner--and rushed to shut the window.
Now, she bent over the coverings.
"I have always wanted to see you, just like that," Bedient added. "...I
know the little boy's story.... He is amazingly rich--they both gave
him the blue flower. He is love-essence.... May I leave him a little
while, until I get some other things?"
Out of the fervent heat--he had come. Beth looked up. Bedient had drawn
back to the door. Light from the hidden sun was in the room.... He was
gone.
Beth did not yet know the babe's story. Some dying woman's love-child,
she thought.... She would give him her years--to make him brave and
beautiful. It would be her gift to the world--her greatest
painting--and the little child would name it _Mother_.
"He means me to have it!" she murmured. "I think this has been
struggling to get into my heart for years--the child of some woman who
has kissed and died for it! ... I think--I think this is the end of the
fiery waiting.... Little boy, you shall heal the broken dreams, and I
shall read in your eyes--the world-secret which aches so heavily in the
breasts of women."
* * * * *
Long afterward she heard his step upon the stair again.... As she
turned to the door from the far corner--there was a tiny cry--just as
she had heard it before--in that high noon.
She went back to the child.
And Bedient with further bundles, waited smiling outside the door.
END.
End of Project Gutenberg's Fate Knocks at the Door, by Will Levington Comfort