THE ITEMS
Mr. Lenox either knew everything, or knew someone who knew everything,
so that he was always certain to be able to help in any difficulty.
Mrs. Avory wrote to him to come round and consult with her about it,
and he was there at tea time.
"A caravan!" he said, after she had finished. "Ripping! Nothing better."
"Yes," said Mrs. Avory, "but--"
"Oh, well," said Mr. Lenox, "that's all right. A few little bothers,
but soon over." He checked them off on his finger. "Item---as your old
Swan of Avon, Hester, would say--item, a driver."
"I was thinking of Kink," said Mrs. Avory; "but there's the garden."
"Yes," said Mr. Lenox, "and there's also Kink. Do you think he'd go?"
"The best thing to do is to ask him," said Mrs. Avory. "Gregory, just
run and bring Kink in."
Kink soon appeared, fresh from the soil.
"Would you be willing to drive the caravan if we decided to use it?"
Mrs. Avory asked.
"'If'!" cried the children. "Steady on, mother. 'If'!"
Kink, who was a great tease, pretended to think for quite a long time,
until his silence had driven the children nearly desperate. "Yes," he
then said, "I should, mum, provided you let me find a trustworthy man
to go on with the garden. Otherwise I shouldn't dare to face Mrs.
Collins when I came back."
"That's very kind of you, Kink," said Mrs. Avory.
"Good old Kinky!" said Gregory.
"Yes," said Mr. Lenox. "And now for item two. The horse. How would you
go to work to get a horse, Kink?"
"Well," said Kink, "that's a little out of my way. A horse radish, yes;
but not a horse."
Everyone laughed: the old man expected it.
"Then," said Mr. Lenox, with a mock sigh, "I suppose the horse will
have to be found by me. We don't want to buy one--only to hire it."
"Don't let's have a horse," said Gregory; "let's have a motor. I think
a motor caravan would be splendid."
"There you're quite wrong," said Mr. Lenox. "The life-blood of a
caravan is sloth; the life-blood of a motor is speed. You can't mix
them. And how could Robert here survey England creditably if he rushed
through it in a motor? You're going to survey England, aren't you,
Bobbie? No, it must be a horse, and I will get it. I will make friends
with cabmen, and coachmen, and grooms, and stable-boys. I will carry a
straw in my mouth. I will get a horse to do you credit. What colour
would you like?"
"White," said Janet.
"It shall be a white horse," said Mr. Lenox. "And now," he added, "the
way is cleared for item three. Can you guess what that is?"
They all tried to guess, but could not. They were too excited.
"A dog," said Mr. Lenox.
"Oh, yes," they cried.
"To guard the caravan at night and when we are away," said Janet.
"Exactly," said Mr. Lenox. "And what kind of a dog?"
"A dachshund," said Hester.
"Too small," said Mr. Lenox.
"A St. Bernard," said Robert.
"Too mild," said Mr. Lenox.
"A spaniel," said Janet.
"Too gentle," said Mr. Lenox.
"A fox-terrier," said Gregory.
"Not strong enough," said Mr. Lenox. "I leave it to Mr. Lenox," said
Mrs. Avory.
"Very well, then," said Mr. Lenox, "a retriever--a retriever, because
it is big and formidable, and also because, when tied up, it will
always be on the watch. We'll buy the _Exchange_ and _Mart_, and look
up retrievers. We can't hire a dog; we must buy outright there. Now,
then, Bobbie, item four?"
"Maps," said Bobbie.
"Right," said Mr. Lenox. "I wish I was coming with you."
"Do," they all cried.
"I can't," said Mr. Lenox. "If I were to go away before September, I
should get the sack, and then I should starve. His Lordship is
sufficiently cross with me now, because I had to give him out
leg-before at the annual estate match last Saturday, when I was
umpiring. He couldn't stand anything else."
That night Mrs. Avory, Uncle Christopher, Mr. Scott, and Mr. Lenox were
talking after dinner.
"It's a very wonderful present," said Mrs. Avory; "but there are two
things about it that are not quite satisfactory. One is that one likes
to know where such gifts come from, and the other is that for a party
of children to go away alone, with only Kink, is a great
responsibility." (That's a word which mothers are very fond of.)
"Suppose they're ill?"
"It's a risk you must take," said Uncle Chris. "Don't anticipate
trouble."
"Because," Mrs. Avory went on, "I should not go with them, although I
might arrange to meet them here and there on their journey. They would
like me to be with them, I know, and they would like to be without me,
I know."
"I shouldn't worry about the giver of the present," said Mr. Scott.
"You have many friends from whom you would have no objection to accept
a caravan, and there's no harm in one of those friends wishing to be
anonymous. As for the other matter, I don't see much risk so long as
Kink goes too. He's a careful and very capable old sport, and Janet's
as good a mother as you any day."
Mrs. Avory laughed. "Yes, I know that," she said. "But what about
gypsies and tramps?"
"One has always got to take a few chances," said Uncle Christopher.
"They may get things stolen now and then from the outside of the
caravan, but I should doubt if anything else happened. Kink and a good
dog would see to that. And Janet would see to the children keeping dry,
or getting dry quickly after rain, and so forth. Such an experience as
a fortnight in a caravan of their own should be a splendid thing for
all of them. Gregory, for example--it's quite time that he studied the
A B C of engineering and began where James Watt began, instead of
merely profiting by the efforts of all the investigators since then. I
mean, it's quite time he watched a kettle boil; and Hester would get no
harm by mixing a little washing-up with her 'Romeo and Juliet'
wool-gathering."
"I think you're right," said Mrs. Avory; "and I'm sure they are very
unlikely to get any such experience here. But I shall be very nervous."
"No, you won't," said Mr. Lenox, "because we'll arrange that you shall
have news. I have thought of that. A telegram every morning at
breakfast and a telegram every evening after tea. That will be
perfectly simple. And letters, of course."
In this way it was settled that the Great Experiment might be tried,
especially as so wise a woman as Collins and so old an ally as Runcie
were not against it. Both, indeed, were of Uncle Christopher's opinion
that the self-help and self-reliance which the caravan would lead to
would be of the greatest use.
Collins, when she heard later some hint of the possible route the
caravan would follow, became not only a supporter of the scheme, but an
enthusiast, because her own home was not distant, and she made the
children promise to spend a day there with her brother, the farmer. She
also gave Janet some lessons in frying-pan cooking.
Runcie never became an enthusiast, but she allowed herself to be
interested, if cautionary.
"To think of the nice comfortable beds you will be leaving," she would
say.
"A horse is a vain thing for safety," she would say.
"The blisters you'll get on your poor feet!" she would say.
"The indigestion!" she would say.
"Living like gypsies," she would say.
"No proper washing or anything," she would say.
"Cheer up, Runcie," Gregory would reply; "you're not going."
"And glad I am I'm not," she would answer.
"I wish you were, Runcie, and then we'd show you in the villages as
'The Old-Woman-Who-Can't-See-Any-Fun-in-Caravaning' Walk up! Walk up! A
penny a peep!"
"A clever dog. He knows the difference between an attack and a feeling
of faintness. But just come down to the Bricklayers' Arms, and I'll
show you."
"No, thank you," said Mr. Lenox hastily. "How much is he?"
"Three pounds," said Mr. Amos.
"Oh, come!" said Mr. Lenox. "Not for a public-house dog."
"Not a penny less," said Mr. Amos.