force, still separated them. She would have given it away if she could
have afforded to have done so. As time went on there was a certain change
in her own way of regarding it. Still she had that choked sensation when
she thought of his going and buying it without her, but she did not
think of it as often. She began to discern that she had lost something
inconceivably more precious than the sublimated rug of her fancy. It was
not only that Nevin had no longer any desire to buy her anything, but
there was a subtle reservation of spirit. In that fit of unreasoning
passion she had lost some attraction for him, some of that aureole of
romance which is at once the most intangible and the dearest possession
of the married, for which a woman may indeed keep her most shining
thought, her sweetest care. What was any rug compared with her husband’s
sentiment for her? Yet it was not a mere rug to her, but one of the
symbols of a home. Did she love him ten times more, the sight of that
cheap and glaring inconsistency would bring the vexed tears to her eyes.
She knew her limitations by instinct—it was no use to try and laugh at
being parted by a colour scheme—never could she be heroically strong
enough to move and have her being as if the rug were not there.
For nine days Mildred Thatcher lived as her neighbours, a life as thick
and solid, as uninformed with the spirit as the rubber plant which stood
neglected in the drawing-room by the pile of books—as yet unshelved—and
the dusty upright piano. The palms had gone to the florist’s, and she
had no heart to take the rubber plant in and out each day. She did not
care whether the thing died or not. She did not care for anything. Every
night when Nevin came home, she greeted him as calmly and affectionately
as he greeted her, and waited, tingling, for developments which never
came. The rug, which dominated her every waking moment, had, indeed,
been almost forgotten by him—pressed out of sight, as is a man’s wont
with disagreeable domestic happenings, only the unpleasant impression
remaining. He read or went to sleep on the sofa, and they both spent some
evenings out. After a week had passed, and while Mildred was waiting
for the change in her husband’s manner, it suddenly came over her with
a strange shock that he was not only losing his delicate perception of
her, but that he was growing content without it. It is so easy to lapse
to the lower level! They were getting into the rut that only grows the
deeper with travel.
Then there came a day when Mrs. Thatcher could stand it no longer. She
had a consultation with Mrs. Brereton, and the next morning the latter
came over and the two talked further with great animation over the rug
in the little drawing-room. After that Mrs. Thatcher dressed herself
with unusual care. She put on her new dark blue suit and a hat that her
husband always admired, although it was not quite in the fashion. She
looked at herself again and again in the glass before she started for
the train, giving a touch here and a touch there with nervous fingers.
She could not wait for her husband to come home, even if she had been
less painfully aware of her new powerlessness in the conventional
surroundings. She must venture into new scenes if she would gain what she
wanted. And she could not stand this a minute longer—she must end it all
_now_.
Yet, her heart was beating painfully as she neared the city, and she was
only somewhat reassured by the glimpse in the ferry-boat mirror of a
tall, slender-throated woman with soft, pale cheeks and a curved mouth,
her dark eyes gazing indifferently before her under a hat whose cherry
wreath drooped against her dark hair, and who turned out to be herself.
If she really looked like that——
Her hand lingered on the knob of the ground-glass door that led to the
office of her husband’s factory. Then she opened it.
“Nevin!”
Her husband, broad and square-shouldered, was standing over another man’s
desk, beyond, talking. There were lines of care on his forehead, and a
pencil behind his ear—he was the man of business, not her husband.
He looked up amazed as he saw his wife, but came forward at once.
“Why, _Mildred_!”
“Oh, Nevin, I hope you don’t mind! I’ve been feeling so dreadfully, I
couldn’t stand it a moment longer. I’ve something—something to tell you.”
She began to shake a little, her lip trembled, her eyes looked
appealingly at him like a child’s. Her husband had always known as a
matter of course that she was beautiful, but her beauty came now like a
surprise in the dingy surroundings of the factory office, with the whirr
of the planing machines beyond. His eyes met the appeal in hers with a
smile that set her pulse beating anew, as he said:
“What is it? Hadn’t you better sit down?”
“No, no! Not yet. Maybe you won’t want me to—— Oh, Nevin, I’ve been
trying to tell you every night lately how sorry I was—I’d acted so—about
the rug—and I couldn’t! You wouldn’t give me a chance.”
The well-known stiffness came over him—a shadow of the past shade.
“That’s of no consequence—don’t let’s talk about it.”
“Yes, _please_—I must! Oh, Nevin, I hope you won’t mind. I knew
I couldn’t be decent while the rug was there. I’m so frightfully
narrow-minded—things make me horrid even when I don’t want to be.
I’ve—I’ve sold it.”
“_Sold_ it?”
“Yes. Mrs. Brereton bought it for her brother-in-law’s room. She didn’t
pay quite as much as you did—you left the price mark on—but she said you
were cheated.”
“_I_ don’t care what you do with it. I thought it was a pretty good sort,
myself.”
“It was a _lovely_ rug,” said Mrs. Thatcher earnestly, “only it wasn’t
in the right place. It was just what Mrs. Brereton wanted—for her
brother-in-law. But it seemed so mean of me to sell it—when it was your
present—and I’ve been so unhappy lately—Nevin—you _can’t think_!”
Her eyes brimmed as she gazed at him; the red cherries in her hat shook
against the dark hair that framed her soft, pale cheeks.
“Sit down,” said Mr. Thatcher briefly, pushing a wooden armed office
chair towards her. He went away momentarily, and then came back. “Have
you had your lunch?”
“No,” replied Mrs. Thatcher faintly.
“Well, neither have I. I think you’d be better for something to eat. You
wait five minutes and I’ll be ready to go out with you. We’ll have a
little lunch together.”
She raised her drooping head to give him the wistfully pleased,
half-encouraged look of one dependent on a benign higher power. Her heart
was swelling with the joy of triumph.
When he returned to her with his overcoat, he had been brushed clear of
the factory dust and looked trim and smiling, hat in hand.
“It’s nearly two o’clock. I think I won’t come back here this afternoon;
I’ve got through about all there is to do. It’s a dull day. I’m going to
take you around to the Electrographic Club to lunch; they’ve got a new
room for ladies. You’d like to see the pictures there. Come on—this way.”
“Oh, how lovely!” said Mrs. Thatcher, with a deep, contented sigh. “How
_good_ you are, Nevin! Do I look all right?”
“Oh, you’ll do,” said her husband, with an affectionate squeeze of the
arm next him. “See here! You mustn’t look at me in the street that way;
people will think we’re engaged.”
“Well, why not?” murmured Mrs. Thatcher. “I don’t care what anybody
thinks—Darling!”
* * * * *
“Yes, my husband selected it,” said Mildred. The next door neighbour was
standing in Mrs. Thatcher’s little drawing-room with her, and they were
both looking down at a dark velvety rug with an Oriental blend of colours
in it. “It was a present to me, but he wouldn’t _think_ of getting it
alone—though he has such excellent taste. We made quite a little event of
buying it yesterday.”
“It is beautiful,” said the neighbour, with a regretful sigh. “How dry
that rubber plant looks; it needs water. Why don’t you have it outdoors?”
“Oh, I have it out all the time,” asseverated Mrs. Thatcher hastily. “At
least, _nearly_ all the time. Lately I’ve forgotten to see about it. I’ve
been so—so _busy_. Why, I do believe there’s a new green leaf coming out
at the top!”
“Rubber plants can stand a great deal,” said the neighbour
philosophically, following Mrs. Thatcher, who was lugging the heavy pot
out into the wooing breeze of the late afternoon. She was so touchingly
happy that she felt as if she could have lifted mountains.
She stood and looked down the elm-shaded street, through which the
footsteps of her beloved would soon be hastening to her. The department
store wagons were still rattling up and down, delivering relays and
relays of parcels at the different houses, and here and there weary,
draggled-looking women were returning from town, each carrying by one end
the large paper bag which contains an untrimmed hat. You could tell by
the way they walked that their feet hurt. Down the block the freshening
palms and rubber plants were grouped at intervals. On Mrs. Thatcher’s
piazza, the emblem of a much-enduring domesticity once more stood in the
sunshine, stolid and green.
The Terminal
The Terminal
It was Saturday night—the married “drummer’s” homesick night. Mr. Martin
Prescott, walking into the long, narrow hotel bedroom, felt more than
ever the wearing familiarity of the scene that met his eye. There were
the same dull carpet, the Michigan pine furniture, the drab striped
wallpaper, the windows shaded only by little slatted inside shutters,
to which he was used in third-rate towns. There was even the same
indefinable chill, dusty smell that was associated with evenings of
figuring over sales on the coverless table, under the weak, single-armed
gas burner that jutted out from the wall at the side of the bureau. Yet,
cheerless as it was, he preferred its seclusion just now to the more
convivial bar-room, where the liquor and the jokes and the conversation
of “the boys” had all the same jading flavour, and he felt unequal to
bracing his spirit sufficiently to receiving the Saturday confidences
of the garrulous or the weary. Reticent both by habit and principle as
to his intimate affairs, he was no stranger to his kind, and in the top
strata of his mind were embedded many curious evidences of other men’s
lives.
But to-night he had a matter on his mind that companied him whether he
would or no, and he was sore at having to stay over in this little town,
from which there was egress once only in twenty-four hours. He had waited
for a customer who did not arrive in the place until too late for him to
get out of it, and had hereby missed the letter from his wife which was
waiting for him some hundred miles further westward. Prescott did not,
in a way, dislike travelling as a business; his wife always comforted
herself with the thought that there were other modes of earning a living
more inherently disagreeable to him, yet there were days and nights of a
paucity which he was glad she could not picture. Saturday night away from
home in this kind of a town, without a letter—when the last one had been
disquieting—reached the limit of endurance. He felt that he had travelled
long enough.
He made his preparations for the evening with the wontedness of custom.
He locked the door, turned up the gas, and worked over the screw in
the lukewarm radiator. Then he drew the cane-bottomed rocking-chair
underneath the gas burner, and placed a couple of magazines on the bureau
beside him, his lean, bearded face reflected in the shadowy mirror above
it. He opened his valise and took from it a folding leather photograph
case containing the picture of a woman and three children. Prescott gazed
at it hard for a few moments before standing it up beside the magazines.
He was trying to find an answer to the question he was debating: if he
could manage in some way to supplement by three hundred dollars more the
income of a new position offered him, he might be able to accept it and
stay at home for ever.
He lit his pipe and, putting his heavily booted feet on a chair, began to
cut the leaves of a magazine with his pocket-knife. He had meant to get
his slippers out of the bag and make himself comfortable, but somehow,
after looking at the photographs, he had forgotten about himself. He had
written his daily letter to his wife before the last-going train, and
he would not begin a fresh sheet now—no matter what he wrote, she would
divine his mood. You have to be very careful what you write in a letter
that is read some days after, lest you cloud the sunshine for another
when it has brightened again for you.
“What is it?”
He sprang up as a knock came to the door, after first hastily sweeping
the photograph case into the valise. He hoped devoutly that it was not
a visitor; there was no one in this town whose presence would not be an
intrusion to-night. But he gave a glad start of surprise as his eyes fell
on the man standing with the bell-boy in the hall.
“Brenner! Well, this _is_ good! I never dreamed of seeing _you_ here.”
“I don’t wonder,” said the stranger, a pleasant, fresh-faced,
broad-shouldered young fellow, with a light mustache. “It’s ages since I
set eyes on you; I changed my route, and then, two years ago, I married.
We only moved here last spring. Jim Halliday told me this afternoon that
you were in town. What a soak he is! But don’t let’s waste time here; I
want you to come right around and spend the evening at our house; I want
you to meet my wife.”
“I’ll be delighted,” said Prescott with alacrity. He locked the bedroom
door and the two walked out together, conversing briskly as they went.
He and the younger Brenner had been chance companions on several notable
trips in former years, drawn together in spite of dissimilarities in
taste and education by a certain clear and simple cleanness of mind which
unerringly divines its kin. The air had seemed raw and chill earlier, but
good fellowship had put its warmth into the winter world with Brenner’s
presence.
“So you’re married,” said Prescott presently. “I remember that I heard of
it. I’ve wondered at not meeting you anywhere; I didn’t know you’d given
up the road.”
“Well, yes, I’ve quit,” said Brenner. “My wife didn’t like me to be away
so much, used to get scared nights, and there’s a sight of things to see
to when you have a house—the coal, you know, and the plumbing getting out
of order, and then after the boy came—oh, yes, I’ve quit it all right.
Seems sort of tied down in a way after you’ve been your own boss, but I’m
not sorry—I’m pretty well fixed, I guess. Travelling’s all very well for
a single man, but it gets to be an awful pull after you’re married. You
miss a lot.”
“I’ve been travelling for sixteen years,” said Prescott soberly; “two
years before I married—at twenty-four—and fourteen since.”
“That so? It’s a pretty long time.”
“Yes, it is. I’ve been wanting to give it up.” He hesitated, and then
continued with rare expansiveness: “The fact is, there’s a position open
for me at home now, but I can’t quite see my way clear to taking it. The
salary’s nominally all right, but there’s my living to be taken into
account, and other things. I figure out that it would mean about three
hundred dollars a year less than we have now—and I don’t see how we could
live on that. You see, the trouble is it’s away out of the line I’m in
now—yet there _may_ be a future in it.”
He went into explanatory detail, led on by Brenner’s questioning interest.
“Couldn’t you make it up in any way by outside commissions?”
Prescott nodded. “Ah, that’s what I’m trying to get at. You’re a wise
man to have made the break early, Brenner. Every year I’ve meant to.”
Prescott spoke with a bitter patience. “I’ve never thought of my being on
the road as anything but temporary, and here I’m at it still. The longer
you wait, the harder it gets to change; you don’t know how to take the
risk. I haven’t told my wife yet about this offer, for I don’t want to
disappoint her. I hoped to have had a letter from her to-night—the last
one was rather disquieting—but I’m behind my schedule.”
“Well, I know what that is,” said Brenner heartily. “I had a letter from
Mame once after we were first married—she’d cried all over the paper
in big blots; she thought she’d die before morning. Well, my train was
snowed up in a South Dakota blizzard and I never got another letter for
a week. _Holy smoke!_ I never want to go through that kind of a racket
again. Then, when I _did_ hear, I found she’d been to a party the next
evening as chipper as you please—belle of the ball. I tell you there’s
too much seesaw about that sort of thing for a limited nature like mine;
but I suppose I’d have got used to teetering on it same as the rest of
you, only she made up her mind I was to quit—and quit I did. Mame runs
_me_! I guess she’ll try and run you too; she tries to run most any one
that comes to hand. This is my shebang.”
He stopped before a small cottage whose slender piazza was ornamentally
fenced in with heavy wooden scroll work, and, opening the front door,
ushered the guest into the narrow hall. “Hello, Mame! Here’s Prescott.
Prescott—he’s one of ‘the boys,’ you know.”
“We’re so glad to have you here,” said Mrs. Brenner, a stout young woman
in a light blue flannel shirt-waist; she had prettily untidy hair,
large gentle brown eyes, and small, very soft hands. She brushed the
light strands of hair out of the way with a pretty gesture of one hand,
while she extended the other to Prescott. He felt an instant sensation
of comfort, increased when he found himself finally settled in an
armchair in a room that reflected the mistress of it in a sort of warm,
attractive disorderliness. A work-basket, with the sewing half out of
it, occupied a footstool; the table, lighted by a lamp with a pictorial
shade, was piled high with magazines and papers; a banjo sprawled on the
sofa amid the tumbled pillows, and a child’s pink worsted sock and a
china cat lay in front of the bright little kerosene stove in the middle
of the floor.
Mrs. Brenner followed his gaze towards the infant’s belongings and
blushed as she laughed.
“Harve won’t let me pick them up! Isn’t it silly of him?”
“I believe she puts them there herself, because she thinks I like it,”
said Brenner serenely. “Oh, she’s up to tricks! She sent me for you
to-night. Do you remember the evening I spent at your house five years
ago? The night I had the cold, and your wife put the mustard plaster on
me?”
“Why so she did,” said Prescott delightedly. “I’d forgotten you’d seen my
wife and the children. Let me see—there were only two of them—Margaret’s
four years old.”
“It was the hottest mustard plaster I ever felt,” said Brenner
reminiscently. “I went to sleep with it on. When I woke up—I guess I
was sort of dazed—I thought the house was on fire, and started to run
down-stairs, but Mrs. Prescott caught on in some way, and sent you to
head me off. Hottest mustard plaster I _ever_ felt. Well, your wife
was mighty good to me. Not so very rugged-looking though herself, as I
remember.”
“Oh, she’s very strong,” said Prescott, with defensive hauteur; “very.
She’s never ill.” He turned the conversation towards the Brenner ménage.
“And how old is your child?”
But he found himself, later, confiding in Mrs. Brenner, after the cozy
little supper in the rag-carpeted dining-room, where she had set out
hot mince pie and cheese and cookies, and Brenner had made the coffee.
Prescott, who owned the impaired digestion of the travelling man, had
long passed the stage of taking whiskey to supplement all deficiencies,
arriving at the final attitude of the invariable soft boiled eggs for
breakfast and rare roast beef for dinner, but to-night he had recklessly
refused to take sickly thought for the morrow. Mame’s pie was good.
Brenner was sitting now cross-legged on the sofa, strumming obliviously
on the banjo, while Prescott, his arms on the dining-table, leaned
towards Mrs. Brenner’s sympathy. Something in this warm home atmosphere
was too much for him.
“She—I—there’re some things you can’t talk about, Mrs. Brenner. Now,
the other night my wife had to get up at two o’clock in the morning and
go out over the snow to the doctor’s; Martin, that’s my boy, was taken
sick. Little Emma wouldn’t let her mother go alone—she’s only nine. My
wife wrote me that it didn’t scare her a bit, but it does seem sort of
pitiful—doesn’t it?—to think of their doing it. It’s never happened
before, but the neighbours we used to have moved away.”
“Oh, you mind it more than she would,” said Mrs. Brenner encouragingly.
Her soft eyes made a temporary home for him.
“Things seem to tell on her more than they used, though she tries hard
not to let me see it. She’s always worrying about me, in this kind of
weather, for fear I’ll come down with something alone in a hotel. But my
wife”—Prescott paused a moment awkwardly—“my wife’s awfully _good_; I’m
not that way myself, Mrs. Brenner, but I don’t think I would care for a
woman that wasn’t religious. She thinks everything is _meant_. And it
helps her a lot.”
“Yes, I know,” said Mrs. Brenner. She added after a little silence: “Was
your boy very ill?”
“Ill? No; he was all right the next day. But she caught cold; she
doesn’t think enough of herself; she’s that kind, you know. It’s clear
foolishness! Last time I was home I found that when the girl left—we
had one for six years and have been changing hoodlums every fifteen
minutes since she married—well, when the last one left I found she’d been
carrying up the coal for the fires because the boy got tired, and she was
afraid it would hurt him. Husky little beggar, I’d tire him all right!
He’s just getting to the age when he’s too much for his mother—nothing
wrong about him, but he worries her. He slings his books at the brakemen
when he goes in to school on the train and gets complained of—and he
smokes cigarettes around the corner and the neighbours come and tell her,
and it breaks her all up.”
“He needs a man,” said Mrs. Brenner.
“Yes. But you see I’m home so seldom she can’t bear to have me down on
the children the only time I’m with them. You see, a man doesn’t think
much whether he likes to travel or not—it’s just something that’s got to
be done, if you’re in the business—but it’s hard on a woman. Some women
seem to get used to it, though.”
“Ah,” murmured Mrs. Brenner, “when we married I said to my husband: ‘When
I get over caring for you, then I’ll get over minding your leaving me—and
not before.’”
“Why, that’s what my wife says!” said Prescott. He laughed, with a rising
colour, and shook his head. “You women—you’re all alike. You don’t know
what lots of good it’s done me to be here and talk to you to-night; it’s
most as good as being home—not quite, though.”
“Can’t you stop travelling?” said Mrs. Brenner, going with penetrative
instinct to the thought she felt. She added, after a pause: “Are you sure
you can’t?”
He looked at her uncertainly. “How did you know that? No, I’m not sure I
can’t—but I’m not sure I can. And I’m not so young as I was.”
“Think of it.” Her hand gave his a warm clasp; through her eyes he saw
his wife. “_Think_ of it.”
“God knows I do,” said Prescott huskily. His hand wrenched hers in its
farewell, before he put on the overcoat Brenner brought him from the back
hall.
All the way back to the hotel he was thinking over things. It all
depended on that few hundred dollars extra, so absolutely necessary that,
without it, he could not provide a shelter for his family. More than a
living he no longer planned for. He looked at the future with the eye of
the man who, whatever his abilities, has come to learn that, either from
early training, or environment, or the iron bands of need, more than a
careful living can never be his. He could have enjoyed riches as well and
more than many another man, but they were so out of all calculation that
what they could buy no longer aroused in him any particular interest. He
would never even be able to indulge in that pathetically ludicrous dream
of the business man of retiring to a green and placid land and raising
catalogue produce from theory. He would be able to save little, after
educating his children, but the money to pay the insurance that would
keep his wife from penury when he died. For all his days he must work in
harness, and take no holiday but that which Death gives to the great rank
and file.