THE REAL GIRL
_What Is the Ideal Home?_
[Illustration: A School Garden in Jordan Harbor, Ontario, Canada. Any
Child Who has had this Experience, Who Has Produced or Helped Nature
to Produce such Wonderful Things, will be Richer in Sympathy for Fine
Things]
[Illustration: Domestic Science Class. These Girls not only Cook but
Learn about Foods, Housekeeping, Entertaining, and Themselves Keep Open
House at the School Occasionally]
Strange as it may seem, most of the plans for industrial training,
the majority of school courses of study, and probably seventy-five
per cent. of the books on the crafts and arts have been devised for
the use of boys. Now there are hosts of girls in this world, probably
as many girls as boys, and these girls are just as keen, intelligent,
ambitious and curious about things and how to make them, as are
boys. In very early childhood when both boys and girls have the same
interests, similar books of amusement are used by both. But as girls
develop the feminine point of view and need the stimulus of suggestion
and aid in creative work, the literature for them seems meagre; they
have somehow been passed by save for a manual now and then on cooking
or sewing, left as a sop to their questioning and eagerness. This state
of affairs is more than unfortunate, it is fundamentally wrong for
two very good reasons. (1) The girl up to the age of twelve or thirteen
has practically the same interests, pleasures and play instincts as
the boy. She is perhaps not so keenly alive to the charm of mechanical
things as the boy, but like all children regardless of sex, she seeks
to be a producer. She is just as much absorbed in pets and growing
things, in nature, in the current activities of her environment, and
requires the same easy outlet for her play instincts as the boy. (2)
The girl, when a woman grown, becomes the creator of the home, and too
often enters upon her domestic career with a minimum of skill or taste
in the great body of household arts, which in the aggregate, give us
the material comforts and homely pleasures. Moreover, since she, as a
girl, probably did not have the chance to satisfy her play desires and
consequently never learned to _do things_ herself, she is at a loss to
understand the never ceasing, tumultuous demands of her own children
for the opportunity to experiment. To quote Gerald Lee in the "Lost Art
of Reading," which is one of the real modern books: "The experience of
being robbed of a story we are about to read, by the good friend who
cannot help telling how it comes out, is an occasional experience in
the lives of older people, but it sums up the main sensation of life
in the career of a child. The whole existence of a boy may be said to
be a daily--almost hourly--struggle to escape being told things ...
it is doubtful if there has ever been a boy as yet worth mentioning,
who did not wish we would stand a little more to one side--let him
have it out with things. There has never been a live boy who would not
throw a store-plaything away in two or three hours for a comparatively
imperfect plaything he had made himself...."
When one goes deep enough--below the showy veneer of present-day
living--one comes to agree with Mr. Lee. The normal child, especially
the boy, is potentially a creator, a designer, discoverer, and we have
committed the everlasting sin of showing him short cuts, smoothing away
difficulties, saying "press here." No child can survive the treatment.
Father and mother have the very simple obligation to furnish the place,
raw material (books, tools, etc.), and encouragement.
[Illustration:
Copyright, 1909, by Cheshire L. Boone
The Work of Girls in the Public Schools, Montclair, N. J. These Girls
are only Eleven Years of Age]
[Illustration: A Children's Garden gives Fresh Air and Sunshine, and
Best of All, Brings Nature very Near. To Be Really Happy One Must Make
Nature's Acquaintance]
For these reasons, if for no other, the girl ought to have a permanent
outlet for her native ingenuity and constructive skill in such crafts
and occupations as are adapted to her strength, future responsibilities
and possible interests. A home should comprise other elements
than food and clothes, which are bare necessities; and though these
may be expanded and multiplied, becoming in their preparation real
art products, they alone are deficient in interest. Look over any
well-ordered household, note the multiplicity of things it contains
which are primarily woman's possessions, and collecting all one knows
about them, the amount of real knowledge is surprisingly small. How
much does the embryo housekeeper know about textiles, curtains,
carpets, hangings, linens, brass, china, furniture? Where do all
these charming things come from? Many of the hangings, table linen,
embroidery, etc., are home products. They cannot be bought at all. The
simple stenciled curtain which one likes so much draws attention by
virtue of its personal quality. To have such things in any abundance
the girl must create them, and this she is more than willing to do.
How may one explain the restful atmosphere of certain homes
visited? How many housewives have intelligent insight concerning
home management and administration; of simple domestic chemistry or
sanitation? Yet these are vital elements in the domestic machine.
One never mistakes a proper household, orderly, smooth running for
the showy establishment--gay outside and sad inside. Even the most
untutored child unconsciously responds to the healthy influence of
selected material environment and conditions, when these are combined
harmoniously. There are systematic ways of creating pleasant rooms,
fine grounds, comfortable places for living, places imbued with the
spirit of contentment. The people who produce such places are seldom
the professional decorator, landscape architect, and hired housekeeper.
It is the woman of the family, who, having practised some of the arts,
or at least been their disciple, has learned to appreciate order
and love beauty. Therewith comes an almost instinctive knowledge of
how to use them to advantage. One can never really have beautiful
baskets, pottery, sewing, gardens, until one has made them. One surely
cannot appreciate the true worth of clean linen, a spotless house,
and perfect routine anywhere so thoroughly as in one's own house. It
naturally follows that the girl, like the boy, should be a producer,
not a mere purchaser, of personal or domestic commodities. She may
have unlimited means, but the place where she lives as a girl and the
home she seeks to create in adult life will always be impersonal,
detached, _hotel-like_, unless she personally builds it. She must know
the structure, composition, and functions of inanimate things; this
knowledge comes easiest and persists longer through use and experience.
[Illustration: All Children Love to Play at Being "Grown Up," even
Beyond the Time of Childhood. These Girls will make Real Women, because
They are Normal and Happy]
[Illustration: Girls must sometime Learn of the Conventions and Customs
of Domestic Arrangement, and too often Their Only Opportunity Lies in
such Classes as These]
There is a good bit of psychology behind the suggestions offered, and
the reasoning is simple. All our ideas, our plans, and conceptions
are just ideas and nothing more until they have been worked up into
concrete form--put to test. There is nothing tangible about an _idea_.
But living is real; hence all the details which comprise living are
real too and mere thinking about them without action is futile. One
must execute, arrange, and experiment with the raw materials of
everyday use. The result is either pleasant or otherwise; if otherwise,
the effort has somehow failed, and one should do it again and learn
thereby; if pleasant, one is the richer and happier for a bit of
success, and is warmed by the presence of mere accomplishment.
This last phrase reveals the nub of the whole question--accomplishment.
Material surroundings and comforts of course go far to make one
happy, and they are the evidence of success, but the ideal home is
also composed of people each of whom is or should be a contributor
to the work of the world. The ideal home contains no drones, and
therefore no discontent. Now the girl cannot plunge headfirst into
the maelstrom of domestic management. She must learn her strength
and acquire confidence, and there are simple occupations for early
years, occupations which train the muscles, sharpen the wits;
occupations which through suggestion gradually lead to a wider and
wider intellectual horizon, and which, by a cumulation of information
and experience, mature both judgment and taste. These occupations form,
as it were, some chapters in the unwritten grammar of culture and
efficiency whereby the girl grows in self-reliance and maturity.
There are, for instance, a number of crafts which, in their delicacy of
technique and the artistic worth of the finished product, are splendid
occupations for girls, and some few of which every girl should know.
The girl who cannot sew is an object for sympathy; it is the typical
feminine craft for the reason heretofore named--that one cannot know
how things should be unless one is familiar with the process involved.
Gowns are manufactured of pieces of cloth cut in proper shape and
sewn together in some, to the male, occult fashion, and this complex
operation only explains itself even to a woman by going through
the experience. One has always been accustomed to think that the
accomplished mistress is also an expert needle-woman or skilled worker
in textiles of some kind. Products of the needle and loom have always
been her intimate, personal possessions, and the charm of old hangings,
lace, needlecraft of all kinds, rests in the main on this personal
quality. Without a doubt the most precious belongings of the young
girl are her own room with its contents of decorations and furnishing,
and the garments which emphasize her inherent feminine charm. It is
not only a girl's right, but her duty, to maintain her place as the
embodiment of all that is fresh, cleanly and attractive. To this end
clothes and the various other products of the needle contribute not a
little; a clean-cut, thorough experience in manufacturing things for
herself is the best assurance of future taste, which will spread out
and envelop everything she touches. It is much the same with clothes
and furnishings as with other matters, what one makes is one's own,
characteristic, appropriate, adequate, with the touch of enjoyment in
it; the purchased article is devoid of sentiment, it is a makeshift and
substitute.
Then by all means let the girl learn to sew, learn to do for herself,
to study her own needs and desires, to find as she progresses, ways
to master the details of woman's own craft, and it is hoped, lay up a
store of just the sort of experience which will enable her to supervise
the work of others in her behalf when the time comes. But sewing,
valuable as it is in connection with the young girl's problems, is not
the only craft at hand. In recent years craftworkers have revived a
number of old methods of using or preparing textiles for decorative
purposes, and some of these have proven increasingly worth while in the
household. Stenciling, block-printing, dyeing, decorative darning, and
even weaving itself, since they have been remodeled and brought out in
simple form, offer opportunities to the wideawake girl. The results in
each case may be very beautiful, and perhaps more in harmony with the
individual taste and scheme of living of the particular girl than any
materials she could buy, because they may be designed and executed for
a specific place. Few people, least of all a child, work just to be
busy; there is always a motive. With the girl it is a scarf, a belt,
collar, curtain, or sofa pillow; is it not well worth while if she
can make these for herself or her room, in her chosen design motif,
(as rose, bird, tree, etc.) and color? It may be an ordinary design,
peculiar color, but they satisfy a personal sentiment which, by the
way, can be modified and improved as time goes on. One must needs allow
children to begin with the bizarre, distorted, seemingly unreasonable,
archaic desires they have and cross-fertilize these with better ones
in the hope of producing a fine, wholesome, sturdy attitude of mind.
Among the minor crafts which may be a source of real pleasure and
good taste, two are prominent: pottery and basketry. The technique,
decorative possibilities, and functions of the finished products as
elements in household economy and ornament place these crafts high in
the list of those especially suitable for girls, though boys and adults
do find them equally interesting. Pottery is so closely associated with
flowers and growing things, with the decoration of fine rooms, with
choice spots of color, and with those receptacles and utensils which
belong to the household, that it makes a strong appeal to the feminine
mind. Here is a craft which vies with textiles in age and beauty of
design, and possesses even greater charm of manipulation because it is
plastic. One can imagine no finer outlet for creative effort.
Lastly, there is the eternal, magnificent, womanly craft--home-making.
When one stops to think that the home is the one imperishable, absolute
social unit, the power which creates it must take rank with other
vital forces of constructive economics. Mothers' clubs and women's
organizations of divers kinds, or, rather, the individuals who comprise
such societies, are continually drifting into the discussion of the
worries, difficulties, and trials which attend the household. The
instant household routine becomes awkward or inadequate it affects
adversely each individual member of the family, and naturally the
mistress who is responsible shoulders a burden. There are times when
the maid leaves, or the cooking goes wrong, or the house is cold, or
just a time when one gets started for the day badly. There are times
when the innate perversity of humans and material things runs riot.
One is led to believe that such untoward occasions, since they have
been in the past, will in all likelihood continue to crop up to the
end of time, though one cannot find any good reason why they should.
There are homes unacquainted with any household rumble or squeak,
where the domestic machinery is always in order, and flexible enough
to care for sudden overloading, or absorb any reasonable shock. In
many such places, devoid of servants and confined to a modest income,
the mistress is ever an expert; the chances are that her daughters
will be equally resourceful. Really, the only sure way to bring up an
adequate number of fine, competent, resourceful wives and home-makers
is to train them definitely for the profession. The girls must be made
acquainted with every detail of the business which they will surely
inherit. The people who would live in hotels and frankly abandon
home-making themselves merely emphasize the charm of the household,
because hotels have nothing in common with homes.
It seems rather strange that a business so old as housekeeping does
not, and never has, applied to its development the laws of commercial
enterprise. When the community or corporation state sees the need for
workmen, foremen or directors, it tries to educate individuals for the
purpose. The supply of competent men and women is not left to chance.
Whereas, womankind trusts to a very fickle fortune, that every girl
will somehow learn to steer the domestic craft and be conversant with
methods of preserving family ideals. Contrast the far-sighted plans of
business to fill its ranks with the casual training the average girl
undergoes to fit her for the future. What is her chance of success? Is
it reasonable to suppose that one who has never made a home, or even
helped actively to run one made for her, can on demand "make good?" It
is a lasting tribute to the inherent genius and indefatigable patience
of the modern woman that she has achieved so much with a minimum of
experience.
Hence, in order to properly equip one's children for a practically
inevitable future, let the girls into the secret of domestic planning;
let them know of costs and shopping, income and expenditure; of
materials and uses; the care of possessions, repairs and cleaning;
try to show them that the menu is not a haphazard combination of
ingredients and foods, but a conscious selection of viands which will
entice the appetite, furnish proper nutrition and accord with the
season. By all means emphasize the fact that housekeeping, like any
business, can be systematized so that the hundred and one activities
may succeed one another in orderly procession through the weeks and
months. Wash day and housecleaning should be absorbed into the domestic
program, and never present their grisly features to the home-coming
male, with sufficient trouble of his own.
Recent issues of the magazines have contained much discussion of
the household tangle, and most of them have ended with the slogans
"industrial education," "back to the kitchen," and such. Granted
that girls need this training, and that schools in time will give
it; granted that the social position of the servant is a source
of discussion and friction; that the demands of modern living are
exacting; and, finally, granting the insistent prominence of all
the other economic disturbances, who is, in the last analysis, to
blame? Would a business man think for one moment of handing over any
department of his affairs to one not trained for the particular duties
involved? Industry in every branch seeks men and women _fitted_ to
take charge of even minor matters. And when trained assistants are
scarce the obvious policy is to prepare other promising workers for
such special places. On the other hand, mothers too often prepare
their daughters for marriage, not for home-making, seemingly blind to
the fact that marriage is an inert, barren, static condition, save
in the stimulating atmosphere of a fine home. How can the servant
question ever be settled by untutored girls who get no closer to the
domestic question than fudge, welsh rarebit and salted peanuts? The
_school can and does_ now, in all well-ordered communities, give a very
satisfactory formal, technical training in domestic art and science.[E]
There students learn to cook and sew; they learn a good deal about
food values, dietetics and simple food chemistry, simple sanitation,
etc. But the management of a real house, system and everyday routine,
that fine sense of adjustment to the conditions as they exist--these
essentials can only be learned in the home itself. The efforts of
the school can largely supplement but never replace home guidance,
experience and _responsibility_. Keeping house ought to be a science
and art rather than a game of chance.
_Definite Suggestions_
In the "Library of Work and Play," to which the present book is the
introductory volume, one will find a collection of books replete with
suggestion. But these are not manuals, or courses to be followed from
end to end, because children do not _profit most_ by such a plan.
The child is like a pebble dropped into still water. It communicates
its energy of momentum to the surrounding fluid and makes a circular
ripple, which in turn makes another and wider ripple, until the energy
is exhausted. In much the same way the child, landed in the midst of a
more or less inert material world, acts upon it with energy, _which,
however, is never exhausted_, producing the results which become more
and more extended. He begins in the middle of a given subject and works
in all possible directions, which gives one the clue to how to make the
most of books like these.[F]
If the girl has not already indicated a decided preference for
some recreation or play, place at hand the books which show the
possibilities open to her. It would be well for one to go over them
rather carefully first in order to know what they contain. Let the girl
take her leisure in searching the chapters and illustrations for the
suggestion which strikes a responsive chord. Ofttimes it will be quite
in order to point to chapters which have a bearing on some personal
need or desire. At any rate, the book or chapters which seem to be
most significant at the time should be followed up. Read over with her
such a volume as "Home Decoration" or "Housekeeping." Let her discuss
the plans offered and try them out in her own home. Every girl wants
and should have a dainty, inspiring, beautiful room of her own, and as
she grows older she also wants the rest of the house to match, so that
she can entertain her friends with pride and confidence. If one will
take "Housekeeping," "Home Decoration," and "Needlecraft" as texts,
and select from them first those suggestions which are _immediately
apt_ in a particular home, the girl will shortly find herself looking
at home problems from several different and very important angles. But
it is desirable also that the study be taken up first in a very simple
way, in order to tie it to real living and needs. New curtains, pillows
for the porch or den, stenciled scarf, the decorations and menu for a
small party, additional linen: these are some of the problems always
coming up, which may be used as a beginning. And once the start is
made the girl should have the chance to try other experiments along
the same line. Read with her the chapter on menus and marketing, or
housecleaning, and turn the house over to the daughter for a time
to manage--absolutely. There is nothing in the world which children
love more or which develops them more quickly than responsibility,
and the mutual consideration of household affairs gives the girl real
partnership in the domestic business. She may use the "Housekeeping"
book as a kind of reference, to be sought when new problems in
management fall to her share.
The question of home decoration is so vital that it deserves special
statement. The text[G] deals with all those details of interior
furnishing and embellishment which indicate taste. All of these are
not equally important, nor do they interest all girls to the same
extent, and in using the book one can profit most by the study of those
topics which touch the individual or particular family. But everywhere
there is the problem of furniture arrangement, wall decorations, color
schemes, and the skilful use of flowers, pottery and textiles. Give
the young people, and especially the girls, an insight into how the
interior should be treated. Have them look up pertinent questions in
the text and then try their 'prentice hands at creating a pleasant,
restful, homelike house with the furnishings at hand plus whatever they
can make or secure. Really, the book is as much a volume of suggestion
for the mother, to which she can refer her daughter, as a text for the
child. There is very keen interest in taste in recent years, among
young people as well as parents, and the elements hitherto lacking
have been (1) accessible information and (2) opportunity to "try it
out." Offer that opportunity; a flat is just as fruitful a field for
experiment as a house, perhaps more.
The active participation in outdoor life, nature-study propaganda
and the multiplication of popular scientific (nature) literature
has greatly opened another field to children--that of raising pets,
gardening, etc. Here the boy or girl will readily make some choice at
an early day, if there has been any contact with such things. If not,
a volume of this kind[H] will be a real stimulant and inspiration, as
it should be, not a lesson manual. Place the book in a child's hands,
help him look over the conditions, available ground, cost, care, etc.;
let him send for circulars and catalogues, or if possible visit some
one interested in the same hobby and the experiment is under way with
irresistible momentum. It is a godsend to any child to give him a
simple, direct statement of what can be done; he furnishes the steam
and imagination for future development, and father and mother comprise
the balance wheel of the business. This volume and the one on "Outdoor
Sports" contain a mass of information which touch the interests of
practically all boys and girls at some time in their first sixteen
years. When the child is old enough to launch out in any personal
undertaking, old enough for even minor responsibilities, when he or she
expresses the desire for possession and money, then give them books
like these. Let them soak in and digest. Encourage only those requests
which are convincing, but give them all the scope possible. Every child
will eventually select the pastimes which are best for her though she
may stumble in doing so; she will make fewer mistakes, and waste less
time if she have access to books which will crystallize and guide her
ambitions.
FOOTNOTES:
[E] As the High Schools of Springfield, Newton, and Brookline, Mass.;
Cleveland, Ohio; Los Angeles, Cal., among others. And the elementary
schools of practically every well-organized community.
[F] "Library of Work and Play."
[G] "Home Decoration."
[H] "Outdoor Life."
[Illustration]