UNWELCOME ANNOUNCEMENTS
Princess Edna took the earliest opportunity of acting on the Fairy
Vogelflug's suggestion. At the conclusion of the banquet that evening,
she requested King Sidney to order the silver trumpets to be flourished,
and when this had been done and an expectant hush fell upon the
assembly, she rose. After regarding the Prince, who sat on her right,
with a graciousness which, enhanced as it was by her _pince-nez_, struck
terror into his very soul, she began in a high, clear tone:
"You all know, I think," she said, "that his Royal Highness Prince
Mirliflor of Clairdelune has done me the great honour of asking me to be
his wife, and that I have promised him my answer this evening. That
answer I am now about to give. Prince Mirliflor, you have impressed me
so favourably that, although I had previously no thought of marrying, I
have decided to accept you." At this the whole Court broke out in
frantic and rapturous applause, for they had been most anxious for the
Prince to succeed in his project--if only for the reason that it would
entail the removal of Princess "Four-eyes" to Clairdelune. The King
exclaimed, "Quite right! Sensible girl!" and Queen Selina assured the
Prince that he had won a treasure. Clarence, who had taken a liking to
his new brother-in-law, which was not entirely reciprocated, rose and
clapped him heartily on the back, while the old Court Chamberlain could
scarcely contain his pride and joy. Edna held up her hand for silence.
"Wait, please!" she said; "I haven't finished. I said I would accept
you, Prince Mirliflor, and so I will--on condition that you are able to
give the correct answer to a question I am about to ask you."
There was a murmur of disappointment at this, though it was generally
recognised that the Princess's action was quite _en règle_. The Prince,
feeling that it was at least a reprieve, begged her to put the question
without keeping him in any further suspense.
"My question is this," said Edna: "Why did the sausage roll?"
"Hang it all, Edna!" cried Clarence, "you're not going to chuck him
unless he can guess a rotten riddle like that!"
"Of _course_ not!" said her anxious Mother. "Don't be alarmed, dear
Prince Mirliflor. She doesn't mean it _seriously_. It--it's a little
joke, that's all!"
"It's not a joke, Mother," said Edna; "I'm perfectly serious. I am sure
Prince Mirliflor is so clever that he will have no difficulty in
guessing the riddle. If he can't--well, I shall be very sorry, but--I
shall not be able to marry him."
"Alas, Princess!" said Mirliflor, "but it passes my poor wit to discover
why the sausage rolled."
"Will your Majesties pardon me," struck in the Court Chamberlain, "if I
humbly offer a suggestion. Such a problem as her Royal Highness has
propounded cannot be solved in a moment. It is only just to his Royal
Highness Prince Mirliflor that he should be given a night to reflect
before delivering his answer."
"Certainly," said the King; "you must see that yourself, Edna. Give him
a chance--every chance!"
"I have no objection, Father," said Edna. "The Prince shall have till
to-morrow morning to think it over--but I can give him no longer."
"It's an infernal shame, Mirliflor!" said Clarence. "I haven't an idea
why the bally sausage rolled, or I'd tell you, dear old chap!"
"I am sure you would, my dear Prince Clarence!" Mirliflor assured him;
"but, believe me, I am none the less grateful to you."
Queen Selina did all she could think of to persuade her daughter to
alter her decision, and, when this failed, to extract the answer to the
momentous conundrum, which Edna knew her mother too well to confide to
her, so that at length she was obliged to take up her bedroom taper and
retreat, with a Parthian prediction that such folly would be bitterly
repented in the future.
Edna's next visitor was the Court Godmother, on whose entrance she at
once informed her waiting-women that she would not require their further
services that night. "Well, Godmother," she began, as soon as they were
alone together, "I did as you advised, you see. And--you don't think
Prince Mirliflor can possibly find out the answer, do you?"
"My good girl," said the Fairy, "I'd defy the Astrologer Royal himself
to find it out, if he consulted all the stars and all his mystic books
into the bargain! How the dickens did you come to invent such a riddle
as that?"
"I didn't invent it," said Edna; "I heard it a long time ago--at the
Theatre--in some silly play. I've forgotten what the play was
about--but I remembered the riddle."
"Are you sure you remember the answer? I have heard of sausages
_talking_ occasionally, and I daresay they can roll, but I fail to see
what intelligible reason _any_ sausage could give for doing it."
"It's a catch," explained Edna. "It's like this. Why did the sausage
roll? Because it saw the jam-_turnover_. _Now_ do you see?"
"I can't say I do, my dear. It seems senseless to _me_. But that's all
the better--the more idiotic it is, the less chance of its being
guessed. Yes, on the whole, I don't think you could have thought of a
better one."
Shortly afterwards Prince Mirliflor, just as he was about to extinguish
the flambeaux and turn into bed, was startled to see his door opening by
some mysterious means. He was more startled still when the figure of the
old Court Chamberlain suddenly materialised in the centre of the room.
"Your Royal Highness will forgive my intrusion," said the Baron, "when I
explain the object of this visit. My reason for suggesting that the
Princess should grant you a night to answer her question was that I felt
convinced that she would be unable to refrain from telling it to some
person--her mother, most probably. So I resolved by means of this" (and
here he exhibited a small skull-cap of purple silk) "to penetrate unseen
to the Princess's apartments and overhear her conversation. To my
disappointment, she would reveal nothing to Her Majesty, but by-and-by
the Court Godmother paid the Princess a visit, in the course of which I,
remaining, of course, invisible, succeeded in learning the secret on
which your Royal Highness's happiness and the hopes of all Märchenland
depend. The answer, it seems--though I must admit I can make little of
it myself--is----"
"Stop, Baron!" interrupted Prince Mirliflor, "I refuse--do you hear?--I
refuse to take advantage of any information obtained in such a
disreputable manner--I insist on your leaving this room at once without
another word!"
"But, sire, hear me! This is not a case for being over-scrupulous. In
love, as in war, all is fair. And the answer is--'Because----'"
"_Will_ you get out?" cried the Prince, stopping both his ears. "I won't
hear you. I can't, as you can see. And if you don't clear out at once,
I'll strike this gong for the guard!"
The Baron, seeing that he could do no more, hastily put on his cap again
and disappeared. "What a pity," he thought, "that such a fine young
Prince should be so priggish when his own interests are concerned!"
But although Mirliflor's code of honour was undoubtedly high, it is
quite possible that he might not have stopped his ears quite so
hermetically if Princess Edna had only borne a closer resemblance to his
vision of her.
As it was, even if the Baron had forced him to hear the answer, it would
have made no difference, since he had not the least intention of
profiting by it, and so he slept soundly, with no apprehensions
concerning what the morrow might bring him.
Shortly after breakfast the next day the Court filled the body of the
Hall of Audience, on the dais of which the King and Queen presently
appeared and took their thrones, Prince Mirliflor and the members of
the Royal Family being accommodated with lower seats on the same
platform.
"Now, Prince Mirliflor," remarked Edna sweetly, "you have been given a
night to consider the answer to my question. I hope you have found it?"
The Prince was about to confess his utter inability to do so, when, to
his extreme annoyance, he found that the Baron, who had stationed
himself behind his chair, was whispering discreetly into his ear. "Will
you be kind enough to leave me alone, Baron?" he said in a savage
undertone. "I've told you already that I don't desire any interference
in my affairs. Oblige me by holding your tongue!"
"Certainly, your Royal Highness," said the Baron obsequiously, "your
wishes shall be obeyed.... His Royal Highness, Madam," he said aloud,
"begs me to make his excuses. He feels too much agitated to speak for
himself, but instructs me to say that he believes the reason why the
sausage rolled was because it had seen the jam pasty. And," he added
confidently, "your Royal Highness will, I am sure, be gracious enough to
admit that Prince Mirliflor has answered her question with absolute
correctness."
Mirliflor's attempts to deny that he had offered any solution whatever
were unheard in the tumult of acclamation which followed the Court
Chamberlain's announcement.
"He _hasn't_ given the correct answer!" declared Edna, as soon as
silence could be obtained. "He ought to have said 'the jam
_turnover_'--not the 'jam _pasty_'!"
"Oh, come, my dear!" said her father. "That's splitting hairs, you know.
He was near enough. What's the difference?"
"None that _I_ can see," pronounced the Queen. "Both are pastry, and
both contain jam. Yes, Prince Mirliflor, you have won the dear child, as
I'm sure you richly deserved to!"
"How _can_ you say that, Mother?" cried Edna, scarlet with vexation.
"When his answer utterly missed the point? And, anyhow, it was given by
proxy, so it doesn't count!"
"H'm--ha!" said King Sydney, "that's rather a ticklish question! What do
_you_ think, my love?" and he consulted the Queen in undertones for a
minute or two. "Well," he announced presently, "her Majesty and myself
both consider that the Prince's answer should be adjudged correct, and
that its having been given by proxy is--ah--no disqualification
whatever. Still, to avoid all appearance of favouritism, we propose to
refer the case to the final decision of our Council."
"I say!" protested Clarence in a horrified whisper, "you're never going
to leave it to those old pumps?"
"It's quite safe, my boy," said the King. "_They_ won't give it against
him!"
So, after the Councillors had filed out to deliberate, Clarence devoted
himself to keeping up Mirliflor's spirits, though the latter could not
be induced to see that he had no cause for uneasiness.
But King Sidney had not been mistaken in his prediction; after a short
absence the Councillors filed in again and reported that they were
unanimously of opinion that Prince Mirliflor had succeeded.
"There, my dear," said the King to the Princess Royal, as soon as the
shouts of joy had quieted down, "you've got the Council's decision. Give
the Prince your hand, and let's have no more bother about it."
"I won't!" declared Edna, losing all self-control in her rage and
disappointment. "He hasn't won me fairly. I've been tricked into this,
and it's all the Court Godmother's doing!"
No accusation could well be more unjust, but it was difficult for the
Fairy to disprove it without declaring that she had done her utmost to
hinder the match--and this would have been impolitic just then.
"_My_ doing, forsooth!" she repeated. "If you really believe that, you
were never more mistaken in your life!"
"Oh no, I'm not mistaken!" said Edna. "It was _you_ who suggested my
asking the riddles--and you were the only person I told the answer. If
you did not tell him, I should like to know who _did_!"
"May I remind you, Princess," said Mirliflor, "that the answer was not
made by me?"
"You let the Baron answer for you, which is just as bad!" retorted Edna.
"And I absolutely refuse to be trapped and cheated into marrying
anybody!"
"_My_ conscience at least is clear," he said. "But I am to understand
that you decline to marry me, Princess--is that so?"
"Certainly I do. Nothing would induce me to accept you after this! I
don't care what Father and Mother or the Council or anyone says!
When--if--I marry I intend to choose for myself. And you are about the
last person, Prince Mirliflor, I should ever dream of choosing!"
"I am desolated to hear it, Princess," he replied, with admirable
patience and resignation. "But since I have the misfortune to be so
obnoxious to you, the only service I can render you now is to relieve
you of my presence as soon as possible."
Queen Selina implored him to stay to lunch, and even held out hopes that
Edna might relent in time--but all her entreaties were in vain. To her
infinite chagrin and the general lamentation, he insisted on leaving the
Palace within an hour. He said no farewell to his Godmother, who for her
part was glad to escape a private interview with him, but he took his
leave of his host and hostess with all due outward courtesy, though
inwardly fuming with rage and impatience to quit a place where he
considered he had been so wantonly insulted.
Count von Rubenfresser must have got wind from some quarter of the
Prince's discomfiture, for on the very next day he turned up at the
Palace about lunch time, according to his previous habit, and Queen
Selina, though far from delighted at his appearance, could hardly avoid
inviting him to remain. His manner at table was considerably more
assured, and his appetite, if anything, heartier than usual, but even so
he seemed, to all but Princess Edna, an indifferent substitute for the
Prince whose departure they were still mourning.
Edna, however, seemed to make a point of treating him with marked
favour, so much so that, when lunch was over and the Royal Family had
removed to the Terrace, it was rather with disgust than surprise that
they discovered that the Princess Royal and the Count had stolen off
together to a secluded part of the gardens.
Whether _amour propre_ had incited her to make a special effort to
overcome his hesitation, or absence and jealousy had quickened his
somewhat lagging ardour, none could say with any certainty, but when
they eventually re-appeared, Queen Selina observed with positive horror
that they were walking hand-in-hand.
"It's quite all right, Mother," said Edna, as they came within speaking
distance; "Ruprecht and I are engaged."
"Engaged!" spluttered King Sidney. "You've got to get your Mother's
consent for that, you know. And we couldn't hear of it. Not for a
moment! Eh, my love?"
"Of course not!" said the Queen. "Entirely out of the question!"
"We expected this," remarked Edna calmly. "But no amount of opposition
will make the slightest difference to _us_--will it, Ruprecht?"
"Not the slightest," he replied. "At least--to ME."
"But think, my dear, only _think_!" the distressed Queen entreated Edna.
"After you've just made us all so unpopular by refusing a Prince, you
simply _can't_ go and engage yourself to some one whose position is so
far beneath your own!"
"Ruprecht is above me in every sense," said Edna; "and because I'm a
Princess by no wish of mine is no reason why I should sacrifice myself
for reasons of state. I utterly and entirely deny that any parents, no
matter what their position in life, have the right nowadays to dictate
to their children whom they should marry or not marry. Of course, I
would rather you were sensible enough to recognise our engagement, but
if you aren't, I shall simply marry Ruprecht just the same."
Queen Selina reflected. If she refused consent, it would only end in a
still worse situation. And, after all, she would have been proud enough
in her Gablehurst days to be able to announce her daughter's engagement
to a real Count with a fine and ancient castle.
"Well," she said, "if it's understood that there must be no thought of
marriage for at least a year----"
"Oh, Ruprecht will wait a year for me--won't you, Ruprecht? But the
engagement must be proclaimed at once--we insist on _that_. And now you
may kiss Mother, Ruprecht, and tell her that you already look on
yourself as her son."
The Count stooped to give his prospective Mother-in-law an amateurish
embrace, while Ruby fled, fearing that her own turn would come next.
"Good Lord, Edna!" said Clarence, drawing her aside, "have you gone
dotty or what? To go and chuck a real good sort like Mirliflor, and then
take this overgrown bounder--it beats me what you can see in the
beggar!"
"I see a man, Clarence, whom I feel I can really look up to."
"You'll have the devil of a way to look up, if he goes on growing much
longer. He's shot up lately like a bally beanstalk!"
"You are jealous because he makes you feel so small. I glory in his
being so big. He is just my idea of a superman!"
"Strike out 'man' and substitute 'swine'!" said Clarence, "and I'm with
you!"
"There's no need to descend to vulgarity, Clarence. And it seems a pity
you should be so prejudiced against him when he is only anxious to prove
the affection he feels for _you_!"
"Oh, _is_ he? Well, if he comes pawing me about, he'll find out what
_my_ sentiments are!"
"I should advise you to be civil to him--for your own sake," said Edna
coldly, "because he's rather a powerful person."
Queen Selina had no option but to inform the Court of the engagement
without delay, and the general consternation it caused could only find
expression in chilling silence.
To the Court Godmother she tried to present the matter as favourably as
possible. "I don't pretend," she said, "that it is quite all we could
desire from a mere worldly point of view. But in a case of true love on
both sides such as this, his Majesty and I both feel that it would not
be _right_ to interfere. And you know what dear Edna can be when she's
once set her mind on anything. Besides," she concluded, "we've insisted
on their being engaged for a year--a good deal may happen before then."
"It may," agreed the Fairy; "and I shall be very much surprised if it
doesn't. But, so far as I am concerned, Princess Edna may bestow her
hand as she pleases. I shall never go out of my way to find her a suitor
again, I can assure you!"
It had already occurred to her that the Royal Family might very shortly
find Märchenland too hot to hold them, which would relieve her of all
responsibility for them. So she saw no reason for interfering with any
of their proceedings.
Ruby rushed excitedly up to Daphne's chamber, where she had been hurting
her pretty fingers by laboriously unpicking the innumerable jewels from
one of the Queen's robes and sewing them on to another. "Oh, Miss
Heritage, dear," she began, "it's such _ages_ since I've seen you, and
I've such lots to tell you about. Just fancy! Edna's engaged!... No,
not Prince Mirliflor! She sent _him_ away the day before yesterday. I
can't think why--when he was so perfectly ripping. It's Count
Rubenfresser."
"Oh, Ruby!" cried Daphne in dismay. "Not to _him_! How _can_ she?"
"I don't know--but she is. Mums doesn't like it, of course, but she's
had to give in, and they'll be married in a year. Isn't it awful?
There's only _one_ advantage about it that _I_ can see--Tützi will be
one of the family now.... Oh, and you needn't go on sewing any more.
Mummy said after lunch that she'd forgotten to tell you she won't want
the skirt altered after all, and that you might come down again as usual
now."
So Daphne made her re-appearance that evening, and was welcomed by the
Court with as much effusion as if they had not seen her for weeks. The
Count was there, his towering form more splendidly apparelled, as became
his new _rôle_ of an accepted suitor, and she soon learnt that she was
by no means alone in loathing the thought of the engagement. Princess
Edna was in such high good humour that she not only deigned to single
out Daphne by her notice, but actually offered to present her to her
_fiancé_--an honour from which Daphne had the courage to beg that she
might be excused.
"I see how it is, Miss Heritage," said Edna, with a frown, "You can't
understand my rejecting a Prince and preferring some one of so far
inferior a rank. I really should not have thought you would be quite so
snobbish as that!"
"It isn't that, Princess Edna," said Daphne desperately. "It's
because--I'm sure--I can't explain why, but I am sure he's bad--_really_
bad!"
"If you mean by that--that he is not a pattern of virtue like Prince
Mirliflor," said Edna, "he is none the worse for it, in _my_ eyes!"
"I meant more--much more than that. But I ought not to have said
anything."
"Oh, pray go on. In fact, I _insist_ on it."
"Well, then, Princess Edna," said Daphne undauntedly, "not only I, but
almost everybody at Court, think that a marriage with Count von
Rubenfresser would be a horrible mistake."
"So _you_ have joined the league against him, have you, Miss Heritage?"
said Edna. "But, of course, you would condemn anyone who failed to
conform to your prim, governessy little notions of right and wrong. I
might have known as much! I am only sorry I should have gone out of my
way to offer you a privilege you are so incapable of appreciating. You
may now retire."
Daphne retreated accordingly. She knew very well that she would have
been wiser in her own interests to hold her tongue, and she had
certainly done no good by speaking. But for no earthly inducement would
she have allowed herself to be presented to that detestable Count. She
had been almost forced to speak plainly, if only in the faint hope of
opening Edna's eyes to a sense of what she was doing. And though she had
failed, she did not in the least regret having spoken. If the other
ladies-in-waiting had known of her protest she would have been more
idolised by them than ever, but a lingering sense of loyalty kept her
from saying anything that might increase their disaffection for
"Princess Four-Eyes."
Perhaps the person in the Royal Household who felt the engagement most
acutely was the old Court Chamberlain. Queen Selina, returning from a
drive the next day, discovered him weeping, or rather absolutely
blubbering, in a darker corner of one of the passages. "I can't help it,
your Majesty," he said, almost inarticulate with emotion. "That the
Princess should have scorned such a consort as Prince Mirliflor for one
whose parentage--it's too much to bear! I think my old heart would break
if I had not once more put a hoop around it. If your Majesty only knew
how your subjects detest such an alliance as this!"
"I don't see what it has to do with _them_, Baron," said the Queen. "But
they have certainly been less respectful lately. I'm afraid we shall
have to take a sack of gold out again on our next drive. I was most
alarmed this afternoon by a rude person throwing something into the
coach which I quite thought at first was a bomb. However, it turned out
to be only a particularly fine turnip, though it very narrowly missed
his Majesty's nose. Of course, as the Marshal assures us, it _may_ have
been intended merely as a humble sort of offering, but I should like to
feel surer about it than I do. And--strictly between ourselves, Baron--I
should be only too thankful if this engagement was broken off. But what
can I _do_? The Princess won't listen to _me_!"
"Perchance," said the Baron, "she would allow herself to be influenced
by the noble ladies whom your Majesty spoke of."
"The Duchess of Gleneagles and the Marchioness of Muscombe? Ah, my dear
Baron, she might, if they were only here! I know they would do their
best to persuade her. But what is the use of thinking of that, when they
are both so far away?"
"And doubtless your Majesty is in ignorance of their very whereabouts."
"Oh, they would be in London just now," said the Queen, not displeased
to exhibit her knowledge. "The dear Duchess travelled down from the
North sometime ago to her town residence in Stratford Place--had her
tiara stolen on the journey, Baron--and came to tell me about it at
once, poor soul! And--yes, the Muscombes must be back in that cosy
little flat of theirs in Mount Street by this time. They always spend
Easter in London, you know."
"In London!" sighed the Baron. "That is truly a far cry from our
Märchenland! But your Majesty can see that, in my present spirits, I
should make but a sorry figure at Court. Have I your leave to absent
myself for a brief period!"
"By all means--as long as you like," said the Queen, who rightly
considered that a Court Chamberlain in constant floods of tears would do
little to relieve the prevailing depression. And so the Baron did not
appear that evening, which might have excited some remark if anyone had
happened to notice his absence.
On the following morning Queen Selina paid a surprise visit to the
Tapestry Chamber, where her ladies were more or less busy in
embroidering "chair-backs" (she was too much in the movement not to know
that the term "antimacassars" was a solecism). It was an industry she
had lately invented for them, and they held it in healthy abhorrence.
She had not had at all a good night, and was consequently inclined to be
aggressive. "Good morning, girls," she began, "I fancy I heard, just
before I came in, one of you mentioning a person of the name of 'Old
Mother Schwellenposch.' The speaker, if I'm not mistaken, was Baroness
Bauerngrosstochterheimer."
"It was, your Majesty," admitted the Baroness, rising and curtseying.
"And who, may I ask, is this Mother--whatever-her-name is? Some vulgar
acquaintance of yours, I presume?"
"If your Majesty is so pleased to describe her, it is not for me to
protest," was the Baroness's demure reply, followed by suppressed but
quite audible giggles from her companions.
"Why you should all snigger in that excessively unladylike way is best
known to yourselves," said Queen Selina. "But I can make allowances for
you, considering who your ancestresses _were_! It's true I _had_ hoped
when I first came here that, if I could not expect quite the sort of
society I had been accustomed to, I should at least have people about me
of ordinary refinement! As it is, I often wonder what my dear friends
the Duchess of Gleneagles and the Marchioness of Muscombe would say if
they knew the class of persons I have to associate with. I can fancy how
they would pity me. When one has enjoyed the privilege of intimacy with
really great ladies like them, one is all the more apt to notice the
difference.... Is that you, Baron? Returned so soon? But you shouldn't
come bursting in like this without asking for an audience. That is
_quite_ against my rules!"
"Your Majesty will, I feel sure, pardon the intrusion when you hear my
tidings," said the Baron. "I have the honour to inform your Majesty that
your high-born friends, the Grand Duchess of Gleneagles and the
Margravine of Muscombe, are now in the Palace!"
"The--the Duchess? And the Marchioness?" cried the Queen. "Nonsense,
Baron! It must be some silly mistake of yours. How could they possibly
get _here_?"
"In the stork-car, your Majesty," he explained. "I brought them myself.
As they are still sunk in sleep, I have had them laid on couches in one
of the vestibules, and instructed the Lady Daphne to remain in
attendance."
"Good gracious!" said Queen Selina faintly. She was painfully conscious
that her face must be expressing dismay rather than delight, and that
her ladies-in-waiting had not failed to notice it. "What a--what a
delightful surprise! And Lady Daphne with them, did you say? I--I'll go
to them at once!"
If the poor Court Chamberlain had expected any gratitude from his
Sovereign when they got outside, he received none. She did not speak to
him at all--possibly because she could not trust herself, and she
hurried towards the great Entrance Hall at a pace which left him
hopelessly in the rear. As she went she vainly endeavoured to think of
any possible excuse or apology that she could offer her distinguished
visitors, but her chief anxiety was that she might not arrive until
after they had awaked, and Miss Heritage had anticipated her
explanations.