The original of the following paper is in existence in this city:
"To MRS. DEBORAH LEAMING.
"Madam.--Seeing I, Jacob Sprier, have addressed myself to you upon the
design of marriage, I therefore esteem it necessary to submit to your
consideration some particulars, before we enter upon that solemn
enterprise which may either establish our happiness or occasion our
inquietude during life, and if you concur with those particulars, I
shall have great encouragement to carry my design into execution; and
since happiness is the grand pursuit of a rational creature, so
marriage ought not to be attempted short of a prospect of arriving
thereat; and in order thereto (should we marry) I conceive the
following rules and particulars ought to be steadily observed and kept,
viz.:
"1st. That we keep but one purse: a severance of interest bespeaking
diffidence, mistrust, and disunity of mind.
"2nd. That we avoid anger as much as possible, especially with each
other; but if either should be overtaken therewith, the other to treat
the angry party with temper and moderation during the continuance of
such anger; and afterwards, if need require, let the matter of heat be
coolly discussed when reason shall resume its government.
"3rd. As we have different stocks of children to which we are and ought
to be strongly attached by ties of nature, so it's proper when such
children or any of them need correction, it be administered by the
party from whom they have descended; unless, in the opinion of both
parties, it shall be thought necessary to be otherwise administered for
the children's good.
"4th. That no difference or partiality be made with respect to such
children who live with us in point of common usage touching education,
food, raiment, and treatment, otherwise than as age, circumstance, and
convenience may render it necessary, to be agreed upon between us, and
grounded upon reason.
"5th. That civility, courtesy, and kind treatment be always exercised
and extended towards such child or children that now is or hereafter
may be removed from us.
"6th. That we use our mutual endeavours to instruct, counsel, improve,
admonish, and advise all our children, without partiality, for their
general good; and that we ardently endeavour to promote both their
temporal and eternal welfare.
"7th. That each of us use our best endeavours to inculcate upon the
minds of our respective stocks of children a venerable and honourable
opinion of the other of us; and avoid as much as possible any
insinuation that may have a different tendency.
"8th. That in matters where either of us is more capable of judging
than the other of us, and best acquainted therein, that the person so
most capable of judging, and best acquainted, do follow his or her own
judgment without control, unless the other shall be able to give a
sufficient reason to the contrary; then, and in such case, the same to
be conclusive; and that we do adhere to each other in things reasonable
and expedient {194} with a mutual condescension, and also advise with
and consult each other in matters of importance.
"9th. That if any misunderstanding should arise, the same be calmly
canvassed and accommodated between ourselves, without admitting the
interposition of any other, or seeking a confident to either to reveal
our mind unto, or sympathise withal upon the occasion.
"10th. That no suspicious jealousies of any kind whatever be harboured
in our breasts, without absolute or good circumstantial evidence; and
if conceived upon proof or strong presumption, the same to be
communicated to the suspected person, in temper and moderation, and not
told to another.
"11th. That we be just, chaste, and continent to each other; and should
either prove otherwise, that then we separate, notwithstanding the most
solemn ties to the contrary, unless it shall suit the injured party to
forgive the injury and continue the coverture; and in case of
separation, each of us to keep such share of wealth as we were
possessed of when are came together, if it remains in the same state,
as to quantum; but if over or under, then in proportion to what we
originally had.
"12th. That we neither give into, nor countenance any ill advisers who
may have a design to mar our happiness, and sow discord between us.
"13th. That in matters of religious concernment, we be at liberty to
exercise our sentiments freely without control.
"14th. That we use our mutual endeavours to increase our affection,
cultivate our harmony, promote our happiness, and live in the fear of
God, and in obedience to His righteous laws.
"15th. That we use the relatives of each other with friendly kindness;
and that the same be extended to our friends and benefactors, mutually,
without grudging.
"16th. That the survivor of us endeavour, after the death of either of
us, to maintain the reputation and dignity of the deceased, by avoiding
levity of behaviour, dissoluteness of life and disgraceful marriage;
not only so, but that such survivor persevere in good offices to the
children of the deceased, as a discreet, faithful, and honourable
survivor ought to do.
"17th. That in case Jacob Sprier, after trial, shall not think it for
his interest, or agreeable to his disposition, to live at the
plantation where Deborah Leaming now resides, then, and in such case,
she to remove with him elsewhere upon a prospect promising to better
his circumstances or promote his happiness, provided the landed
interest of the said Deborah's late husband be taken proper care of for
the benefit of her son Christopher.
"18th. That the said Jacob Sprier be allowed from time to time to
purchase such books from our joint stock as he shall think necessary
for the advantage and improvement of himself and our children jointly,
or either of them, without grudging.
"19th. That the said Jacob Sprier do continue to keep Elisha Hughes,
and perform his express agreement to him according to indenture already
executed, and discharge the trust reposed in him the said Sprier by the
another of the said Elisha, without grudging or complaint.
"20th. And as the said Deborah Leaming, and the said Jacob Sprier, are
now something advanced in years and ought to take the comfort of life
as free from hard toil as convenience will admit, therefore neither of
them be subject thereunto unless in case of emergence, and this
exemption to be no ways censured by each other, provided they
supervise, contrive, and do the light necessary services incumbent on
the respected heads of a family, not omitting to cultivate their minds
when convenience will admit.
"21st. That if anything be omitted in the foregoing rules and
particulars, that may conduce to our future happiness and welfare, the
same to be hereafter supplied by reason and discretion, as often as
occasion shall require.
"22nd. That the said Jacob Sprier shall not upbraid the said Deborah
Leaming with the extraordinary industry and good economy of his
deceased wife, neither shall the said Deborah Leaming upbraid the said
Jacob Sprier with the like extraordinary industry and good economy of
her deceased husband, neither shall anything of this nature be observed
by either to the other of us, with any view to offend or irritate the
party to whom observed; a thing too frequently practised in a second
marriage, and very fatal to the repose of parties married.
"I, Deborah Leaming, in case I marry with Jacob Sprier, do hereby
promise to observe and perform the before-going rules and particulars,
containing twenty-two in number to the best of my power. As witness my
hand, the 16th day of Decem'r, 1751:
(Signed) "DEBORAH LEAMING.
"I, Jacob Sprier, in case I marry with Deborah Leaming, do hereby
promise to observe and perform the before-going rules and particulars,
containing twenty two in number, to the best of my power. As witness my
hand, the 16th day of December, 1751:
(Signed) "JACOB SPRIER."