THE PARENTS' PART
The home is the nursery of vocations. Most religious can trace the
beginnings of their resolve to leave all to the influence of saintly
parents and a Christian home. If the parents cultivate faith, charity
and industry the fragrance of these virtues will cling round the walls
of their dwelling, and perfume the lives of their children.
Every Christian home should be a convent in miniature, filled with the
same spirit, productive of the same virtues. It should be a cloister,
forbidding entrance to the world and its vanities, and harboring
within gentle peace and happiness. Poverty should dwell there, not in
the narrower meaning of distress and want, but in the wider
acceptation of simplicity, frugality and temperance as opposed to
extravagance, display and ostentation. Purity, too, should reign as
queen of the hearth, regulating the glance of the eye, the
conversation, and even the thoughts of the occupants. And union and
harmony of wills, without which the idea of home is inconceivable, can
come only through obedience which binds the children to parents, wife
to husband, and all to God.
But, unfortunately, this is not always the case. From many domiciles
peace and tranquillity have fled, giving place to frivolity, vanity
and worldliness and all their attendant train of vices. How many
parents, deceived by the wisdom of the flesh, seek their own
gratification in all things, and denying their children nothing that
luxury or extravagance craves, pamper and spoil them by indulging
their every whim. To train up the young to the steady and
uncompromising fulfilment of duty is the only means to produce a hardy
and sturdy generation of men and women, whose fidelity can be relied
on in the trials and emergencies of after-life.
But some fathers and mothers, when their children call for bread,
reverse the parable by giving them a stone, and when they ask for an
egg, give them a scorpion. We can imagine with what righteous
indignation Our Lord would have denounced such a mode of action.
Foolish parents even of limited means dress their girls in expensive
and gaudy apparel, which not only offends against taste and economy,
but sometimes transgresses the laws of modesty and decency.
Familiarity between the sexes is permitted and encouraged by doting
and foolish mothers, who introduce their sons and daughters to
juvenile society functions, receptions, parties and unbecoming dances;
so that children who should be at their lessons or playing healthful
games with suitable companions, are taught to affect society manners
after the most approved fashion of their silly elders. Persons of this
stamp may prepare for a rude awakening, for the day of reckoning for
themselves and children will be sure and terrible.
Many parents, while indeed quite solicitous according to their lights,
for the temporal good of their offspring, training them to a trade or
profession, or settling them in marriage, devote but little thought to
their spiritual welfare. They dread a vocation in their family as a
catastrophe. It would be well, indeed, for persons of this character
to ponder the words of the Pastoral Letter of the Second Council of
Baltimore: "We fear that the fault lies in great part with many
parents, who instead of fostering the desire so natural to the
youthful heart, of dedicating itself to the service of God's
sanctuary, but too often impart to their children their own
worldly-mindedness, and seek to influence their choice of a state of
life by unduly exaggerating the difficulties and dangers of the
priestly calling, and painting in too glowing colors the advantages
of a secular life."
How much better it were for parents to propose to the young the
promise of Our Lord, "And every one that hath left house, or brothers
or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands for my
name, shall receive a hundredfold, and possess life everlasting."
(Matt. xix: 29.) Many a one, whose wayward child has brought dishonor
and shame to the family, realizes when all too late the happiness that
might have been his had such a child only elected the religious state.
Instead of throwing obstacles in the way of a vocation, those who are
appreciative of spiritual things feel honored that God has chosen one
of their family circle for His special service. Persons whose sons
obtain high position in the army, court or government employ, take a
just pride in the distinction thus attained, but such temporal honors
cannot be compared with the singular privilege of serving in God's own
courts, and dwelling within His sanctuary. Bishop Schrembs, of Toledo,
aptly advises pastors "to teach young parents that the service of God
is even more glorious than that of country, for as St. Jerome says,
'Such a service establishes ties of relationship between the family
and Jesus Christ Himself.'"
Nor do parents, as they sometimes fear, lose a son or daughter who
enters religion. One who marries is in a certain sense lost to the
parent, for the responsibilities of his new state of life so absorb
his energies as to leave him but little opportunity to concern himself
about his old home. And frequently distance entirely severs his
connection with it. But one who enters God's house does not contract
new family alliances, his heart remains free, and though separated
from parents, his affection is always true to them, he thinks of them
as in his childhood days, and he never ceases to importune the
blessings of heaven upon them.
In fact, we may say that a vocation is not strictly an individual, but
rather a family possession. A call to God implies sacrifice on the
part of the family, as well as of the individual, for while he gives
up parents, brothers and sisters, they, too, must part with him. And
as they share in the renunciation, they participate also in its merit
and reward. In God's household the religious represents his family, he
works and prays by proxy for them, and they share in his graces and
good deeds. Is it not a matter of daily experience that the family of
a religious, particularly the parents, receive abundant graces, that
God leads them in various ways to greater fidelity in His service, to
a love of prayer and higher perfection? Parents of religious
frequently become religious themselves at heart, and though not
clothed with the habit, they share in the "hundredfold" promised to
the child.
"It is the glory of a large and happy Catholic family to produce a
vocation," says Rev. Joseph Rickaby, S.J. "A sound Catholic is glad to
have brother or sister, uncle or aunt, or cousin or child, 'who has
pleased God and is found no more' in the ordinary walks of life,
because God hath taken and translated him to something higher and
better."
Parents and teachers, then, who do not hesitate to incline the minds
of children to a professional career, should have no fear also to
direct their thoughts to higher things. To praise in the family circle
the priestly or religious life, to express the hope and desire that
one or more of the children may have the great happiness of such a
profession, to offer them daily in prayer to God, to train them to
piety and devotion, these are all praiseworthy in a father or mother,
and if faithfully practiced in all families would doubtless greatly
increase the number of God's chosen servants.
Anything approaching coercion or excessive urging should, of course,
be avoided, because moral violence should not be done to the child's
will. But the remark sometimes made by well-meaning mothers, "O, I
would not say a word to influence my child towards religion, for fear
of interfering with God's work," shows a lamentable ignorance of the
nature of a vocation. One might almost as well say, "O, I am careful
not to contribute to the building of a church, because if God wants it
built, He will not need any help." If all persons thought thus, such a
church would be long in building.
Most of God's works require our cooperation. He designs them and we
must carry them out. Many a great project has depended on a timely
word, or on the exertions of some man who rose to the occasion. Andrew
and John were sent to Our Lord by St. John the Baptist, and they
became apostles; and if Andrew had not "found his brother Simon and
brought him to Jesus," who knows whether Christ would not have found
it necessary to appoint another head of the Church in place of Simon
Peter?
To parents, then, belongs the singular privilege of training their
children to tender piety, of directing their thoughts to spiritual
things; and fidelity to this trust will give us a glorious generation
of men and women ready to risk all, to sacrifice all in the service of
their Creator.