"SUPPOSE I MAKE A MISTAKE?"
A young man once exclaimed to a friend, "Suppose I make a mistake! I
could not bear the disgrace of leaving a religious order after
entering it." Having wrestled with this thought for some time, he
finally determined to try the religious life, with the result that
after taking the habit, he was too happy to dream of ever laying it
aside.
However, it is not wrong, but highly prudent, for any one to consider
whether he has the courage and constancy to persevere. Religious life
is not a pathway of roses. It is meant only for true men and valiant
women, not for soft, languid characters, nor for fickle minds, which
change as a weather vane. Marriage also is a serious step, for it
brings much "tribulation of the flesh," and so he who would enter on
it must earnestly consider whether he can live up to the obligations
it entails. But because marriage has many cares and responsibilities,
is that a prohibitive reason against embracing it? A soldier's life,
too, is hard, and a farmer's; in fact, all pursuits and vocations in
this world have their sombre side. But he who would win success in any
career must be ready "with a heart for any fate" to meet and overcome
all the trials and hardships that await him.
On one occasion Our Lord made use of the following parable (Luke xiv:
28): "Which of you having a mind to build a tower, doth not first sit
down and reckon the charges that are necessary, whether he have
wherewithal to finish it: lest after he hath laid the foundation, and
is not able to finish it, all that see it begin to mock him, saying,
'This man began to build and was not able to finish'?" This parable
Our Lord seems to apply to those who have the call to the Faith, and
He concludes with the words, "So likewise every one of you that doth
not renounce all that he possesseth, cannot be my disciple."
But His advice is also applicable to one who contemplates a closer
following of Christ by the pathway of the counsels. Certainly, by all
means, deliberate before taking any step of importance in this world.
Never act on inconsiderate impulse in any matter of moment, but weigh
carefully the obligations you are to assume, and consider whether you
have sufficient strength of character to persevere in any good work
you are undertaking.
Still, when all is said and done, it remains true that timidity is not
prudence, nor cowardice caution. Nothing great was ever accomplished
in this world without courage. Prudence and caution may be overdone,
and easily degenerate into sloth and inactivity. In a battle he who
hesitates is lost, and life is the sharpest of conflicts. Had Columbus
wavered, he would not have discovered America. Close followers of
Christ must be brave and noble souls, willing to risk all, to
sacrifice all in the service of their leader. If you are excessively
timid and fearful of making a misstep in your every action, it is a
fault of character, and unless you overcome it you will never do great
things for yourself or others.
When reason and conscience point the way, plunge boldly forward,
trusting to the Lord for all the necessary helps you may need to carry
out your designs. He will never desert you when once you enlist under
His flag. When it comes to "supposing," there is no end to the
dreadful things that _might_ happen, but never _will_. Little children
have a game called "supposing," each one making his supposition in
turn, but even they do not anticipate that their creations of fancy
will ever prove true. A man once said: "I have lived forty years, and
have had many troubles, but most of them never happened," meaning that
he had often anticipated and dreaded evils which never came to pass.
Let us, however, grant that occasionally a novice leaves his order: is
that such a disgrace? By no means; he, at least, deserves credit for
attempting the higher life. He is far more courageous than many
Christians who are too timorous even to try. After all, what is a
novitiate for, if not to discover whether the candidate has the
requisite qualities? And judicious superiors will be the first to
advise a young man or woman to leave, if he or she has wandered into
the wrong place.
There is, moreover, a danger on the opposite side that wavering souls
often fail to take into account. What if they make a mistake by not
entering religious life? Is it better to err on the side of generosity
to God, or on the side of pusillanimity? If one make a mistake by
entering religion he can easily retrace his steps before it is too
late, but once he commits himself to worldly obligations, he can
seldom break their fetters; and many a man, when overwhelmed with the
cares and anxieties of life, has regretted, when all too late, that he
had not hearkened to the voice of grace that invited him to the calm
and peace of the cloister.
St. Ignatius thus forcibly expresses the same thought: "More certain
signs are required to decide that God wills one to remain in the
secular state, than that He wishes him to enter on the way of the
counsels, for the Lord so openly urged the counsels, while He insisted
on the great dangers of the other state." (Directory, c. 23.)
The devil, who employs every ruse to wreck a vocation, has one
favorite stratagem, which unfortunately succeeds only too often. When
he cannot induce a person to give up entirely the idea of following
Christ closely, he frequently induces him, under a variety of
pretexts, to postpone its execution. If he can get the person to wait,
to delay, he feels he has scored a victory, for thus he will have
ample opportunity to lure his victim to a love of the world, to
present the vanities of life in such enticing colors, as finally to
withdraw him altogether from his first purpose. This disaster,
unfortunately, is only too common, and many a one finds out, to his
cost, that unseasonable delay has destroyed in him the spiritual
savor, and made shipwreck of his vocation.
If, then, you see clearly it is best for you to tread the pathway of
the counsels, go boldly on without delay or hesitation, and if
difficulties loom big before you, they will fade away at your
approach, like the fog before the sun; or, if they remain, you will be
surprised at the ease with which you will vanquish them, for when the
Lord is with you, who will be against you? You will be guarded against
possible rashness in choosing the higher life by consulting a prudent
director or confessor, at least, so far as to get his approval of the
step you propose to take. For the knowledge such a one has of the
secrets of your conscience gives him a specially favorable opportunity
to judge whether you have the virtue and determination of character to
persevere in the pathway of the counsels.