Sir Crispin walked from the window by which he had been standing, to the
rough bed, and flung himself full length upon it. The only chair that
dismal room contained was occupied by Kenneth. Galliard heaved a sigh of
physical satisfaction.
“Fore George, I knew not I was so tired,” he murmured. And with that he
lapsed for some moments into silence, his brows contracted in the frown
of one who collects his thoughts. At length he began, speaking in
calm, unemotional tones that held perchance deeper pathos than a more
passionate utterance could have endowed them with:
“Long ago--twenty years ago--I was, as I have said, an honourable lad,
to whom the world was a fair garden, a place of rosebuds, fragrant
with hope. Those, Kenneth, were my illusions. They are the illusions of
youth; they are youth itself, for when our illusions are gone we are
no longer young no matter what years we count. Keep your illusions,
Kenneth; treasure them, hoard them jealously for as long as you may.”
“I dare swear, sir,” answered the lad, with bitter humour, “that such
illusions as I have I shall treasure all my life. You forget, Sir
Crispin.”
“'Slife, I had indeed forgotten. For the moment I had gone back twenty
years, and to-morrow was none so near.” He laughed softly, as though his
lapse of memory amused him. Then he resumed:
“I was the only son, Kenneth, of the noblest gentleman that ever
lived--the heir to an ancient, honoured name, and to a castle as proud
and lands as fair and broad as any in England.
“They lie who say that from the dawn we may foretell the day. Never was
there a brighter dawn than that of my life; never a day so wasted; never
an evening so dark. But let that be.
“Our lands were touched upon the northern side by those of a house with
which we had been at feud for two hundred years and more. Puritans they
were, stern and haughty in their ungodly righteousness. They held us
dissolute because we enjoyed the life that God had given us, and there I
am told the hatred first began.
“When I was a lad of your years, Kenneth, the hall--ours was the castle,
theirs the hall--was occupied by two young sparks who made little shift
to keep up the pious reputation of their house. They dwelt there with
their mother--a woman too weak to check their ways, and holding, mayhap,
herself, views not altogether puritanical. They discarded the sober
black their forbears had worn for generations, and donned gay Cavalier
garments. They let their love-locks grow; set plumes in their castors
and jewels in their ears; they drank deep, ruffled it with the boldest
and decked their utterance with great oaths--for to none doth blasphemy
come more readily than to lips that in youth have been overmuch shaped
in unwilling prayer.
“Me they avoided as they would a plague, and when at times we met, our
salutations were grave as those of, men on the point of crossing swords.
I despised them for their coarse, ruffling apostasy more than ever
my father had despised their father for a bigot, and they guessing or
knowing by instinct what was in my mind held me in deeper rancour even
than their ancestors had done mine. And more galling still and yet a
sharper spur to their hatred did those whelps find in the realization
that all the countryside held, as it had held for ages, us to be their
betters. A hard blow to their pride was that, but their revenge was not
long in coming.
“It chanced they had a cousin--a maid as sweet and fair and pure as they
were hideous and foul. We met in the meads--she and I. Spring was the
time--God! It seems but yesterday!--and each in our bearing towards the
other forgot the traditions of the names we bore. And as at first we had
met by chance, so did we meet later by contrivance, not once or twice,
but many times. God, how sweet she was! How sweet was all the world! How
sweet it was to live and to be young! We loved. How else could it
have been? What to us were traditions, what to us the hatred that for
centuries had held our families asunder? In us it lay to set aside all
that.
“And so I sought my father. He cursed me at first for an unnatural son
who left unheeded the dictates of our blood. But anon, when on my
knees I had urged my cause with all the eloquent fervour that is but
of youth--youth that loves--my father cursed no more. His thoughts went
back maybe to the days of his own youth, and he bade me rise and go
a-wooing as I listed. Nay, more than that he did. The first of our name
was he out of ten generations to set foot across the threshold of the
hall; he went on my behalf to sue for their cousin's hand.
“Then was their hour. To them that had been taught the humiliating
lesson that we were their betters, one of us came suing. They from whom
the countryside looked for silence when one of us spoke, had it in their
hands at length to say us nay. And they said it. What answer my father
made them, Kenneth, I know not, but very white was his face when I met
him on the castle steps on his return. In burning words he told me of
the insult they had put upon him, then silently he pointed to the Toledo
that two years before he had brought me out of Spain, and left me. But
I had understood. Softly I unsheathed that virgin blade and read the
Spanish inscription, that through my tears of rage and shame seemed
blurred; a proud inscription was it, instinct with the punctilio
of proud Spain--'Draw me not without motive, sheathe me not without
honour.' Motive there was and to spare; honour I swore there should be;
and with that oath, and that brave sword girt to me, I set out to my
first combat.”
Sir Crispin paused and a sigh escaped him, followed by a laugh of
bitterness.
“I lost that sword years ago,” said he musingly. “The sword and I have
been close friends in life, but my companion has been a blade of coarser
make, carrying no inscriptions to prick at a man's conscience and make a
craven of him.”
He laughed again, and again he fell a-musing, till Kenneth's voice
aroused him.
“Your story, sir.”
Twilight shadows were gathering in their garret, and as he turned his
face towards the youth, he was unable to make out his features; but
his tone had been eager, and Crispin noted that he sat with head bent
forward and that his eyes shone feverishly.
“It interests you, eh? Ah, well--hot foot I went to the hall, and with
burning words I called upon those dogs to render satisfaction for the
dishonour they had put upon my house. Will you believe, Kenneth, that
they denied me? They sheltered their craven lives behind a shield of
mock valour. They would not fight a boy, they said, and bade me get my
beard grown when haply they would give ear to my grievance.
“And so, a shame and rage a hundredfold more bitter than that which I
had borne thither did I carry thence. My father bade me treasure up the
memory of it against the time when my riper years should compel them to
attend me, and this, by my every hope of heaven, I swore to do. He bade
me further efface for ever from my mind all thought or hope of union
with their cousin, and though I made him no answer at the time, yet in
my heart I promised to obey him in that, too. But I was young--scarce
twenty. A week without sight of my mistress and I grew sick with
despair. Then at length I came upon her, pale and tearful, one evening,
and in an agony of passion and hopelessness I flung myself at her feet,
and implored her to keep true to me and wait, and she, poor maid, to her
undoing swore that she would. You are yourself a lover, Kenneth, and you
may guess something of the impatience that anon beset me. How could I
wait? I asked her this.
“Some fifty miles from the castle there was a little farm, in the very
heart of the country, which had been left me by a sister of my mother's.
Thither I now implored her to repair with me. I would find a priest to
wed us, and there we should live a while in happiness, in solitude, and
in love. An alluring picture did I draw with all a lover's cunning, and
to the charms of it she fell a victim. We fled three days later.
“We were wed in the village that pays allegiance to the castle,
and thereafter we travelled swiftly and undisturbed to that little
homestead. There in solitude, with but two servants--a man and a maid
whom I could trust--we lived and loved, and for a season, brief as all
happiness is doomed to be, we were happy. Her cousins had no knowledge
of that farm of mine, and though they searched the country for many
a mile around, they searched in vain. My father knew--as I learned
afterwards--but deeming that what was done might not be undone, he held
his peace. In the following spring a babe was born to us, and our bliss
made heaven of that cottage.
“Twas a month or so after the birth of our child that the blow
descended. I was away, enjoying alone the pleasures of the chase; my man
was gone a journey to the nearest town, whence he would not return until
the morrow. Oft have I cursed the folly that led me to take my gun and
go forth into the woods, leaving no protector for my wife but one weak
woman.
“I returned earlier than I had thought to do, led mayhap by some angel
that sought to have me back in time. But I came too late. At my gate
I found two freshly ridden horses tethered, and it was with a dull
foreboding in my heart that I sprang through the open door. Within--O
God, the anguish of it!--stretched on the floor I beheld my love, a
gaping sword-wound in her side, and the ground all bloody about her.
For a moment I stood dumb in the spell of that horror, then a movement
beyond, against the wall, aroused me, and I beheld her murderers
cowering there, one with a naked sword in his hand.
“In that fell hour, Kenneth, my whole nature changed, and one who had
ever been gentle was transformed into the violent, passionate man that
you have known. As my eye encountered then her cousins, my blood seemed
on the instant curdled in my veins; my teeth were set hard; my nerves
and sinews knotted; my hands instinctively shifted to the barrel of my
fowling-piece and clutched it with the fierceness that was in me--the
fierceness of the beast about to spring upon those that have brought it
to bay.
“For a moment I stood swaying there, my eyes upon them, and holding
their craven glances fascinated. Then with a roar I leapt forward, the
stock of my fowling-piece swung high above my head. And, as God lives,
Kenneth, I had sent them straight to hell ere they could have raised a
hand or made a cry to stay me. But as I sprang my foot slipped in the
blood of my beloved, and in my fall I came close to her where she lay.
The fowling-piece had escaped my grasp and crashed against the wall.
“I scarce knew what I did, but as I lay beside her it came to me that I
did not wish to rise again--that already I had lived overlong. It came
to me that, seeing me fallen, haply those cowards would seize the chance
to make an end of me as I lay. I wished it so in that moment's frenzy,
for I made no attempt to rise or to defend myself; instead I set my arms
about my poor murdered love, and against her cold cheek I set my face
that was well-nigh as cold.
“And thus I lay, nor did they keep me long. A sword was passed through
me from back to breast, whilst he who did it cursed me with a foul
oath. The room grew dim; methought it swayed and that the walls were
tottering; there was a buzz of sound in my ears, then a piercing cry in
a baby voice. At the sound of it I vaguely wished for the strength to
rise. As in the distance, I heard one of those butchers cry, “Haste,
man; slit me that squalling bastard's throat!” And then I must have
swooned.”
Kenneth shuddered.
“My God, how horrible!” he cried. “But you were avenged, Sir Crispin,”
he added eagerly; “you were avenged?”
“When I regained consciousness,” Crispin continued, as if he had not
heard Kenneth's exclamation, “the cottage was in flames, set alight by
them to burn the evidence of their foul deed. What I did I know not. I
have tried to urge my memory along from the point of my awakening, but
in vain. By what miracle I crawled forth, I cannot tell; but in the
morning I was found by my man lying prone in the garden, half a dozen
paces from the blackened ruins of the cottage, as near death as man may
go and live.
“God willed that I should not die, but it was close upon a year before
I was restored to any semblance of my former self, and then I was so
changed that I was hardly to be recognized as that same joyous, vigorous
lad, who had set out, fowling-piece on shoulder, one fine morning a year
agone. There was grey in my hair, as much as there is now, though I was
but twenty-one; my face was seared and marked as that of a man who had
lived twice my years. It was to my faithful servant that I owed my life,
though I ask myself to-night whether I have cause for gratitude towards
him on that score.
“So soon as I had regained sufficient strength, I went secretly home,
wishing that men might continue to believe me dead. My father I found
much aged by grief, but he was kind and tender with me beyond all words.
From him I had it that our enemies were gone to France; it would seem
they had thought it better to remain absent for a while. He had learnt
that they were in Paris, and hither I determined forthwith to follow
them. Vainly did my father remonstrate with me; vainly did he urge me
rather: to bear my story to the King at Whitehall and seek for justice.
I had been well advised had I obeyed this counsel, but I burned to take
my vengeance with my own hands, and with this purpose I repaired to
France.
“Two nights after my arrival in Paris it was my ill-fortune to be
embroiled in a rough-and-tumble in the streets, and by an ill-chance I
killed a man--the first was he of several that I have sent whither I
am going to-morrow. The affair was like to have cost me my life, but by
another of those miracles which have prolonged it, I was sent instead
to the galleys on the Mediterranean. It was only wanting that, after all
that already I had endured, I should become a galley-slave!
“For twelve long years I toiled at an oar, and waited. If I lived I
would return to England; and if I returned, woe unto those that had
wrecked my life--my body and my soul. I did live, and I did return. The
Civil War had broken out, and I came to throw my sword into the balance
on the King's side: I came, too, to be avenged, but that would wait.
“Meanwhile, the score had grown heavier. I went home to find the castle
in usurping hands--in the hands of my enemies. My father was dead; he
died a few months after I had gone to France; and those murderers had
advanced a claim that through my marriage with their cousin, since dead,
and through my own death, there being no next of kin, they were
the heirs-at-law. The Parliament allowed their claim, and they were
installed. But when I came they were away, following the fortunes of the
Parliament that had served them so well. And so I determined to let my
vengeance wait until the war were ended and the Parliament destroyed. In
a hundred engagements did I distinguish myself by my recklessness even
as at other seasons I distinguished myself by my debaucheries.
“Ah, Kenneth, you have been hard upon me for my vices, for my abuses of
the cup, and all the rest. But can you be hard upon me still, knowing
what I had suffered, and what a weight of misery I bore with me? I,
whose life was wrecked beyond salvation; who only lived that I might
slit the throats of those that had so irreparably wronged me. Think you
still that it was so vicious a thing, so unpardonable an offence to seek
the blessed nepenthe of the wine-cup, the heavenly forgetfulness that
its abuses brought me? Is it strange that I became known as the wildest
tantivy boy that rode with the King? What else had I?”
“In all truth your trials were sore,” said the lad in a voice that
contained a note of sympathy. And yet there was a certain restraint that
caught the Tavern Knight's ear. He turned his head and bent his eyes in
the lad's direction, but it was quite dark by now, and he failed to make
out his companion's face.
“My tale is told, Kenneth. The rest you can guess. The King did not
prevail and I was forced to fly from England with those others who
escaped from the butchers that had made a martyr of Charles. I took
service in France under the great Conde, and I saw some mighty battles.
At length came the council of Breda and the invitation to Charles the
Second to receive the crown of Scotland. I set out again to follow his
fortunes as I had followed his father's, realizing that by so doing I
followed my own, and that did he prevail I should have the redress and
vengeance so long awaited. To-day has dashed my last hope; to-morrow
at this hour it will not signify. And yet much would I give to have my
fingers on the throats of those two hounds before the hangman's close
around my own.”
There was a spell of silence as the two men sat, both breathing heavily
in the gloom that enveloped them. At length:
“You have heard my story, Kenneth,” said Crispin.
“I have heard, Sir Crispin, and God knows I pity you.”
That was all, and Galliard felt that it was not enough. He had lacerated
his soul with those grim memories to earn a yet kinder word. He had
looked even to hear the lad suing for pardon for the harsh opinions
wherein he had held him. Strange was this yearning of his for the boy's
sympathy. He who for twenty years had gone unloving and unloved, sought
now in his extremity affection from a fellow-man.
And so in the gloom he waited for a kinder word that came not; then--so
urgent was his need--he set himself to beg it.
“Can you not understand now, Kenneth, how I came to fall so low? Can you
not understand this dissoluteness of mine, which led them to dub me the
Tavern Knight after the King conferred upon me the honour of knighthood
for that stand of mine in Fifeshire? You must understand, Kenneth,”
he insisted almost piteously, “and knowing all, you must judge me more
mercifully than hitherto.”
“It is not mine to judge, Sir Crispin. I pity you with all my heart,”
the lad replied, not ungently.
Still the knight was dissatisfied. “Yours it is to judge as every man
may judge his fellowman. You mean it is not yours to sentence. But if
yours it were, Kenneth, what then?”
The lad paused a moment ere he answered. His bigoted Presbyterian
training was strong within him, and although, as he said, he pitied
Galliard, yet to him whose mind was stuffed with life's precepts, and
who knew naught of the trials it brings to some and the temptations to
which they were not human did they not succumb--it seemed that vice was
not to be excused by misfortune. Out of mercy then he paused, and for
a moment he had it even in his mind to cheer his fellow-captive with a
lie. Then, remembering that he was to die upon the morrow, and that
at such a time it was not well to risk the perdition of his soul by an
untruth, however merciful, he answered slowly:
“Were I to judge you, since you ask me, sir, I should be merciful
because of your misfortunes. And yet, Sir Crispin, your profligacy and
the evil you have wrought in life must weigh heavily against you.” Had
this immaculate bigot, this churlish milksop been as candid with himself
as he was with Crispin, he must have recognized that it was mainly
Crispin's offences towards himself that his mind now dwelt on in deeper
rancour than became one so well acquainted with the Lord's Prayer.
“You had not cause enough,” he added impressively, “to defile your soul
and risk its eternal damnation because the evil of others had wrecked
your life.”
Crispin drew breath with the sharp hiss of one in pain, and for a moment
after all was still. Then a bitter laugh broke from him.
“Bravely answered, reverend sir,” he cried with biting scorn. “I marvel
only that you left your pulpit to gird on a sword; that you doffed your
cassock to don a cuirass. Here is a text for you who deal in texts, my
brave Jack Presbyter--'Judge you your neighbour as you would yourself
be judged; be merciful as you would hope for mercy.' Chew you the cud of
that until the hangman's coming in the morning. Good night to you.”
And throwing himself back upon the bed, Crispin sought comfort in sleep.
His limbs were heavy and his heart was sick.
“You misapprehend me, Sir Crispin,” cried the lad, stung almost to shame
by Galliard's reproach, and also mayhap into some fear that hereafter
he should find little mercy for his own lack of it towards a poor
fellow-sinner. “I spoke not as I would judge, but as the Church
teaches.”
“If the Church teaches no better I rejoice that I was no churchman,”
grunted Crispin.
“For myself,” the lad pursued, heeding not the irreverent interruption,
“as I have said, I pity you with all my heart. More than that, so deeply
do I feel, so great a loathing and indignation has your story sown in
my heart, that were our liberty now restored us I would willingly join
hands with you in wreaking vengeance on these evildoers.”
Sir Crispin laughed. He judged the tone rather than the words, and it
rang hollow.
“Where are your wits, O casuist?” he cried mockingly. “Where are your
doctrines? 'Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord!' Pah!”
And with that final ejaculation, pregnant with contempt and bitterness,
he composed himself to sleep.
He was accursed he told himself. He must die alone, as he had lived.