_House of Commons, Tuesday Night, November 25_.--New Session opened
to-day. Remarkable gathering of Members in the Lords to hear Queen's
Speech read. Unusual excitement, though heroically restrained in
presence of LORD CHANCELLOR, supported on Woolsack by four figures
in red cloaks and cocked hats, borrowed for occasion from Madame
Tussaud's. HALSBURY lost his temper once when Commission being read.
Tussaud's man, sent down to work the figures--make them take off their
cocked hats and nod upon cue being given by Reading Clerk--was on
duty for first time; much interested in arrival of Commons at the Bar;
instead of lying low behind Woolsack and minding his business, kept
poking his head round to peer forth on scene. At last, LORD CHANCELLOR
in hoarse whisper threatened to send him to Clock Tower if he didn't
behave properly.
After this all went well; figures bringing their right elbow up with a
jerk, took off their hats at precisely right moment, and replaced them
without a hitch. They were labelled "Lord LATHOM," "Earl of COVENTRY,"
"Lord BROWNLOW," and "Lord KNUTSFORD." LORD CHANCELLOR sat in the
middle. The ladies on floor of House watched them with much interest.
"Such _dear_ old things," said one, when the figure labelled "Earl of
COVENTRY" cleverly pretended to sneeze. "I wish they'd do it all over
again; but I suppose the springs have run down."
In the Commons, everyone on the look out for PARNELL. What would he
do? Where would he sit? What would he say? Or, would he come at all?
Nobody knew. Some suspected last guess most probable. Towards Three
o'Clock whisper went round that he was here. SARK had seen him
crossing Lobby, with green spectacles and umbrella, and his hair died
crimson. Was now in room with Irish Party, arranging about Leadership.
Understood before House met that he was to retire from Leadership till
fumes from Divorce Court had passed away. Then alliance between Home
Rulers and Liberals would go on as before, and all would be well.
Ministerialists downcast at this prospect; Liberals chirpy; a great
difficulty avoided. Soon be in smooth water again.
Waiting in House for business to commence. SPEAKER away for cause that
saddens everyone; COURTNEY to take the Chair at Four o'Clock; meeting
of Irish Members still going forward. When business concluded, PARNELL
would quietly walk out; they would take their places, and things
would go on as if no one had ever heard of Eltham, of alarums and
excursions, of exits by fire-escapes, and entrances by back doors.
Thinking of these things, I was standing by Sergeant-at-Arms' chair;
heard a scuffling noise behind; looked round, and lo! there was
PARNELL entering House by Distinguished Strangers' Gallery, descending
by swarming down the end pillar, which supports Gallery from floor of
House.
"Good gracious!" I cried. "What are you doing?"
"I'm catching the last post," said PARNELL, smiling blandly, as,
reaching the floor, he unclasped arms and legs from the pillar and
quietly walked over to his ordinary place as if this were the usual
way of an Hon. Member approaching his seat.
Direful news rapidly spread. PARNELL not going to retire from
Leadership! On contrary, meant to stay, ignoring little events brought
to light in the Divorce Court. Ministerialists jubilant; Liberals
depressed; the whole situation changed; prospects of Liberal
supremacy, so certain yesterday, suddenly blighted; talk of Mr. G.
retiring from the fray; spoke on Address just now, but no fight
left in him; the Opposition wrung out like a damp cloth; even GEORGE
CAMPBELL dumb, and Dr. CLARK indefinitely postponed Amendment long
threatened. By ten o'clock the whole thing had flickered out. Address,
which of late has taken three weeks to pass, agreed to in three hours.
[Illustration: Up a Tree.]
Mr. G. went off as soon as OLD MORALITY had finished his modest
speech. Walked with him across the Park to Carlton Terrace. Haven't
seen him to speak to since Midlothian. What a change! Then elate,
confident, energetic, tingling with life to his finger-ends; to-night
shrunken, limp, despondent, almost heart-broken.
"Don't you think, Sir," I said, "that, after to-day's experience, Home
Rule has a new terror? You remember how, seven or eight years ago, the
Irish Members used to stand up in the House and personally vilify you.
Then, when you came round to their side, the very same men beslabbered
you with fulsome adulation. Now, when there is another parting of
the ways, when you pit yourself, your authority, and your character,
against their chosen Leader, they rudely turn their backs on you,
and tell you to mind your own business. How'll it be, do you think,
when you've finally served their purpose, and made possible the
accomplishment of their aim? When you have made them Masters in
Dublin, will they care any more for the views and prejudices of you
and your Liberal Party than they have done to-day?"
"TOBY, dear boy," said Mr. G., "you're a young dog yet. When you come
to my age, you'll have learned that there is no gratitude in politics.
But we won't talk of it any more. I'm a little tired to-night."
So we walked in silence up the steps, by the Duke of YORK's Column.
_Business done_.--Address agreed to. Mr. P. flouts Mr. G.
_Thursday_.--House up at twenty minutes to Six, having got through
rattling lot of business. Prince ARTHUR been sailing up and down
floor, bringing in Land Bills and Railway Bills. HICKS-BEACH depressed
with legacy of Tithes Bill.
"Cheer up, BEACH," says CRANBORNE, tugging at his moustache à la
GRANDOLPH; "you may depend upon me. Keep your eye on your young
friend, and he will pull you through."
"Thank you," said BEACH, with something more than his customary
effusive manner.
JACKSON toying round the table, packing and unpacking papers, looking
at his watch and the clock, vaguely whistling, and absently rubbing
his hands.
"What's the matter?" I asked. "You seem out of sorts."
[Illustration: Mr. P-rn-ll turns his Back on Public Opinion.]
"Matter!" he cried. "Why, twenty minutes to Six is the matter,
and here's all the work done and the House up. It's absolutely
demoralising; portends something uncanny. On Tuesday we got through
the Address in a single short sitting; yesterday, after meeting at
noon, had to adjourn for three hours and a half; filled up remainder
of time with bringing in Bills; To-day we have an Irish Land Bill
brought in and read a First Time, after a Debate confined to SAGE
OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE, and WILFRID LAWSON. Nothing like it seen for
sixteen years. If this kind of thing goes on, you know, we'll get all
the work of the Session done in three months, and perhaps done better
than when it took nine. It's the suddenness that knocks me over, TOBY.
They ought to be more considerate, and begin more gently."
Great commotion in Irish circles. Scene slightly shifted. It seems
that Irish Members in re-electing PARNELL on Tuesday, thought he would
relieve them of difficulty by forthwith resigning. Mr. P. doesn't
take that view; thinks it would be rude, after having been unanimously
elected, to appear to undervalue such remarkable, spontaneous act of
confidence; doesn't care a rap for public opinion.
"_J'y suis, et j'y reste_," he says, smiling sweetly round the table,
where his friends forlornly sit.
"Begorra!" says Mr. O'KEEF, indignantly, "it's bad enough to have him
ruining us and the counthry, without using blasphaymious language."
_Business done_.--Everything on the paper.
[Illustration: "Bless-you-my-child!"]
_Friday Night_.--Louis JENNINGS made capital speech to-night on
Motion challenging commutation of certain perpetual pensions. Seems,
among other little jobs, we, the tax-payers of Great Britain, with
Income-tax at sixpence in the pound, have been paying pension of
£2,000 a year to descendant of the late ELLEN GWYNNE. Select Committee
appointed by present Government to consider whole matter, recommended
that no pension should be commuted at rate so high as twenty-seven
years' purchase. JOKIM, generous with other people's money, flies in
face of recommendation, and comfortably rounds off one or two of these
little jobs with gratuity of twenty-seven years' purchase. Cheerful to
hear this sort of thing denounced in breezy fashion from Conservative
Benches. JENNINGS, amid loud cheers, hits straight out from the
shoulder. WALTER FOSTER quite delighted. "Bless you, my child,"
he says, "you ought to belong to the Radical Party." _Business
done_.--Agreed that, up to Christmas, Government shall have all the
time.
* * * * *
CHRISTMAS CARDS.--"Here we are again!" as they come tumbling in, fresh
from the hands of the publishers, HILDESHEIMER AND FAULKNER. More
artistic than ever!
* * * * *
A NEW BANK OF ENGLAND NOTE.--"The force o' this 'ere observation lies
in the Barings of it."--_Cap'en Cuttle adapted_.
* * * * *
PROBABLE PUBLICATION.--_Correct to a Shade_. (A book of ghostly
counsel.) By the Author of _Betrayed by a Shadow_.
* * * * *
WORLDLY-WISE MOTTO FOR THE WRANGLERS ABOUT "DARKEST AFRICA."--"Keep it
Dark!"
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