I was habel the other day to do BROWN a good turn by getting him
engaged at won of our big Otels, so he kindly offerd to stand a
supper, and then take me to the Hopera at Common Garden. We went to
see _Horfay_.
It seems that wunce upon a time, ever so many thowsand years ago,
before there was not no Lord Mares, nor no Shirryffs, nor not ewen
no Aldermen, a Gent of the name of _Horfay_ lived in Grease. He was
the werry grandest Fiddler of his time, a regler JOEY KIM. Well, he
married a werry bewtiful wife, of the name of _Yourridisee_, and they
was both werry appy, till one day, as she was a having a run in a
field, a norrid serpent bit her in her heel; so she died. Well, while
poor _Mr. Horfay_ is a telling us all about his trubbel, in comes a
werry bewtiful young lady with a pair of most bewtiful wings on, and
she werry kindly gives him a new sort of magic Fiddle, called, as I
was told, A Liar! to go to--go down to _you kno where_, to git his
wife back! Off he goes, and the neks sean shows us the werry plaice,
all filled with savidges, and demons, and snakes, and things; and
presently, when _Mr. Horfay_ is seen a cumming down, all the demons
and savidges runs at him to stop him; but he holds up the Liar, and
begins for to sing, and most bewtifully too, tho' I didn't kno the
tune; they all makes way for him, and he gos bang into lots of big
flames, and so I werry naterally thort as how it was all over. But
not a bit of it, for in the werry next sean we sees him with his Liar
in a most lovly garden, all full of most lovly flowers and trees, and
numbers of bewtiful ladies, a dancing and enjoying theirselves like
fun, until his Liar leads him rite up to his wife, and then he raps
harf his scarf round her, and off they gos together, both on 'em
dowtless a longing for a reel nupshal kiss, but poor _Mr. Horfay_ not
a daring for to look at her, becoz if he does before he gets her home,
she will be ded again direckly! Was there hever such a tanterlising
case ever known! When she sings to him to give her one loving look,
he sings to her to say he mustn't, until at larst she sets down on a
nice cumferel-looking sofy, as appens for to be in the werry middel of
the street, and says, werry artfully, as she carn't go not one step
farther, when in course he turns round, and rushes up to her to have
one fond embrace, and, thank goodness, they has it, and then she falls
back dead!
Well, now, I knos as I'm ony a mere Hed Waiter, and, therefore, not
xpected to have any werry fine feelings, like my betters has, but
I do declare that, when I saw this sad, sad end to all that grand
amount of reel true Love, the tears run down my cheeks like rain, and
I was a getting up to go away, when presently in came the lovly angel
again, whose name I was told was Love, and told him that such love
as his could conker Death itself; and she brort the pore wife to life
again, and all hended, as all things shood end, jovial, and cumferal,
and happy. What a wunderful thing is Music! It didn't seem at all
strange to me that not one single word was spoke all the heavening,
but ewery word sung, and in a forren tung, too, that I didn't
hunderstand, the bewtiful story kep my atention fixt the hole time,
and I warked home in the poring rain, werry thankful, and jest a
leetle prowd, that in one thing, at least, I was not xacly like BROWN,
who slept carm and content thro the hole of the larst hact.