The Lady Telleth Ralph of the Past Days of Her Life
"Now shalt thou hear of me somewhat more than the arras and the book
could tell thee; and yet not all, for time would fail us therefor--and
moreover my heart would fail me. I cannot tell where I was born nor of
what lineage, nor of who were my father and mother; for this I have
known not of myself, nor has any told me. But when I first remember
anything, I was playing about a garden, wherein was a little house
built of timber and thatched with reed, and the great trees of the
forest were all about the garden save for a little croft which was
grown over with high grass and another somewhat bigger, wherein were
goats. There was a woman at the door of the house and she spinning,
yet clad in glittering raiment, and with jewels on her neck and
fingers; this was the first thing that I remember, but all as it were a
matter of every day, and use and wont, as it goes with the memories of
children. Of such matters I will not tell thee at large, for thou
knowest how it will be. Now the woman, who as I came to know was
neither old nor young in those days, but of middle age, I called
mother; but now I know that she was not my mother. She was hard and
stern with me, but never beat me in those days, save to make me do what
I would not have done unbeaten; and as to meat I ate and drank what I
could get, as she did, and indeed was well-fed with simple meats as
thou mayest suppose from the aspect of me to-day. But as she was not
fierce but rather sour to me in her daily wont in my youngest days so
also she was never tender, or ever kissed me or caressed me, for as
little as I was. And I loved her naught, nor did it ever come into my
mind that I should love her, though I loved a white goat of ours and
deemed it dear and lovely; and afterwards other things also that came
to me from time to time, as a squirrel that I saved from a weasel, and
a jackdaw that fell from a tall ash-tree nigh our house before he had
learned how to fly, and a house-mouse that would run up and down my
hand and arm, and other such-like things; and shortly I may say that
the wild things, even to the conies and fawns loved me, and had but
little fear of me, and made me happy, and I loved them.
"Further, as I grew up, the woman set me to do such work as I had
strength for as needs was; for there was no man dwelt anigh us and
seldom did I ever see man or woman there, and held no converse with
any, save as I shall tell thee presently: though now and again a man or
a woman passed by; what they were I knew not, nor their whence and
whither, but by seeing them I came to know that there were other folk
in the world besides us two. Nought else I knew save how to spin, and
to tend our goats and milk them, and to set snares for birds and small
deer: though when I had caught them, it irked me sore to kill them, and
I had let them go again had I not feared the carline. Every day early
I was put forth from the house and garth, and forbidden to go back
thither till dusk. While the days were long and the grass was growing,
I had to lead our goats to pasture in the wood-lawns, and must take
with me rock and spindle, and spin so much of flax or hair as the woman
gave me, or be beaten. But when the winter came and the snow was on
the ground, then that watching and snaring of wild things was my
business.
"At last one day of late summer when I, now of some fifteen summers,
was pasturing the goats not far from the house, the sky darkened, and
there came up so great a storm of thunder and lightning, and huge drift
of rain, that I was afraid, and being so near to the house, I hastened
thither, driving the goats, and when I had tethered them in the shed of
the croft, I crept trembling up to the house, and when I was at the
door, heard the clack of the loom in the weaving-chamber, and deemed
that the woman was weaving there, but when I looked, behold there was
no one on the bench, though the shuttle was flying from side to side,
and the shed opening and changing, and the sley coming home in due
order. Therewithal I heard a sound as of one singing a song in a low
voice, but the words I could not understand: then terror seized on my
heart, but I stepped over the threshold, and as the door of the chamber
was open, I looked aside and saw therein the woman sitting stark naked
on the floor with a great open book before her, and it was from her
mouth that the song was coming: grim she looked, and awful, for she was
a big woman, black-haired and stern of aspect in her daily wont,
speaking to me as few words as might be, and those harsh enough, yea
harsher than when I was but little. I stood for one moment afraid
beyond measure, though the woman did not look at me, and I hoped she
had not seen me; then I ran back into the storm, though it was now
wilder than ever, and ran and hid myself in the thicket of the wood,
half-dead with fear, and wondering what would become of me. But
finding that no one followed after me, I grew calmer, and the storm
also drew off, and the sun shone out a little before his setting: so I
sat and spun, with fear in my heart, till I had finished my tale of
thread, and when dusk came, stole back again to the house, though my
legs would scarce bear me over the threshold into the chamber.
"There sat the woman in her rich attire no otherwise than her wont, nor
did she say aught to me; but looked at the yarn that I had spun, to see
that I had done my task, and nodded sternly to me as her wont was, and
I went to bed amongst my goats as I was used to do, but slept not till
towards morning, and then images of dreadful things, and of miseries
that I may not tell thee of, mingled with my sleep for long.
"So I awoke and ate my meat and drank of the goats' milk with a heavy
heart, and then went into the house; and when I came into the chamber
the woman looked at me, and contrary to her wont spoke to me, and I
shook with terror at her voice; though she said naught but this: 'Go
fetch thy white goat and come back to me therewith.' I did so, and
followed after her, sick with fear; and she led me through the wood
into a lawn which I knew well, round which was a wall, as it were, of
great yew trees, and amidst, a table of stone, made of four uprights
and a great stone plank on the top of them; and this was the only thing
in all the wood wherein I was used to wander which was of man's
handiwork, save and except our house, and the sheds and fences about it.
"The woman stayed and leaned against this stonework and said to me: 'Go
about now and gather dry sticks for a fire.' I durst do naught else,
and said to myself that I should be whipped if I were tardy, though,
forsooth, I thought she was going to kill me; and I brought her a
bundle, and she said, 'Fetch more.' And when I had brought her seven
bundles, she said: 'It is enough: stand over against me and hearken.'
So I stood there quaking; for my fear, which had somewhat abated while
I went to and fro after the wood, now came back upon me tenfold.
"She said: 'It were thy due that I should slay thee here and now, as
thou slayest the partridges which thou takest in thy springes: but for
certain causes I will not slay thee. Again, it were no more than thy
earnings were I to torment thee till thou shouldst cry out for death to
deliver thee from the anguish; and if thou wert a woman grown, even so
would I deal with thee. But thou art yet but a child, therefore I will
keep thee to see what shall befall betwixt us. Yet must I do somewhat
to grieve thee, and moreover something must be slain and offered up
here on this altar, lest all come to naught, both thou and I, and that
which we have to do. Hold thy white goat now, which thou lovest more
than aught else, that I may redden thee and me and this altar with the
blood thereof.'
"I durst do naught but obey her, and I held the poor beast, that licked
my hands and bleated for love of me: and now since my terror and the
fear of death was lessened at her words, I wept sore for my dear friend.
"But the woman drew a strong sharp knife from her girdle and cut the
beast's throat, and dipped her fingers in the blood and reddened both
herself and me on the breast, and the hands, and the feet; and then she
turned to the altar and smote blood upon the uprights, and the face of
the stone plank. Then she bade me help her, and we laid the seven
faggots on the alter, and laid the carcase of the goat upon them: and
she made fire, but I saw not how, and set it to the wood, and when it
began to blaze she stood before it with her arms outspread, and sang
loud and hoarse to a strange tune; and though I knew not the words of
her song, it filled me with dread, so that I cast myself down on the
ground and hid my face in the grass.
"So she went on till the beast was all burned up and the fire became
naught but red embers, and then she ceased her song and sank down upon
the grass, and laid her head back and so fell asleep; but I durst not
move from the place, but cowered in the grass there, I know not how
long, till she arose and came to me, and smote me with her foot and
cried: 'Rise up, fool! what harm hast thou? Go milk thy goats and
lead them to pasture.' And therewith she strode away home, not heeding
me.
"As for me, I arose and dealt with my goats as she bade me; and
presently I was glad that I had not been slain, yet thenceforth was the
joy of my life that I had had amongst my goats marred with fear, and
the sounds of the woodland came to me mingled with terror; and I was
sore afraid when I entered the house in the morning and the evening,
and when I looked on the face of the woman; though she was no harder to
me than heretofore, but maybe somewhat softer.
"So wore the autumn, and winter came, and I fared as I was wont,
setting springes for fowl and small-deer. And for all the roughness of
the season, at that time it pleased me better than the leafy days,
because I had less memory then of the sharpness of my fear on that day
of the altar. Now one day as I went under the snow-laden trees, I saw
something bright and big lying on the ground, and drawing nearer I saw
that it was some child of man: so I stopped and cried out, 'Awake and
arise, lest death come on thee in this bitter cold,' But it stirred
not; so I plucked up heart and came up to it, and lo! a woman clad in
fair raiment of scarlet and fur, and I knelt down by her to see if I
might help her; but when I touched her I found her cold and stiff, and
dead, though she had not been dead long, for no snow had fallen on her.
It still wanted more than an hour of twilight, and I by no means durst
go home till nightfall; so I sat on there and watched her, and put the
hood from her face and the gloves from her hands, and I deemed her a
goodly and lovely thing, and was sorry that she was not alive, and I
wept for her, and for myself also, that I had lost her fellowship. So
when I came back to the house at dark with the venison, I knew not
whether to tell my mistress and tyrant concerning this matter; but she
looked on me and said at once: 'Wert thou going to tell me of something
that thou hast seen?' So I told her all, even as it was, and she said
to me: 'Hast thou taken aught from the corpse?' 'Nay,' said I. 'Then
must I hasten,' she said, 'and be before the wolves.' Therewith she
took a brand from the fire, and bade me bear one also and lead her: so
did I easily enough, for the moon was up, and what with moon and snow,
it was well nigh as bright as the day. So when we came to the dead
woman, my mistress kneeled down by her and undid the collar of her
cloak, which I had not touched, and took something from her neck
swiftly, and yet I, who was holding the torch, saw that it was a
necklace of blue stones and green, with gold between--Yea, dear
Champion, like unto thine as one peascod is to another," quoth she.
And therewith the distressfulness of her face which had worn Ralph's
heart while she had been telling her tale changed, and she came, as it
were, into her new life and the love of him again, and she kissed him
and laid her cheek to his and he kissed her mouth. And then she
fetched a sigh, and began with her story again.
"My mistress took the necklace and put it in her pouch, and said as to
herself: 'Here, then, is another seeker who hath not found, unless one
should dig a pit for her here when the thaw comes, and call it the Well
at the World's End: belike it will be for her as helpful as the real
one.' Then she turned to me and said: 'Do thou with the rest what thou
wilt,' and therewith she went back hastily to the house. But as for
me, I went back also, and found a pick and a mattock in the goat-house,
and came back in the moonlight and scraped the snow away, and dug a
pit, and buried the poor damsel there with all her gear.
"Wore the winter thence with naught that I need tell of, only I thought
much of the words that my mistress had spoken. Spring came and went,
and summer also, well nigh tidingless. But one day as I drave the
goats from our house there came from the wood four men, a-horseback and
weaponed, but so covered with their armour that I might see little of
their faces. They rode past me to our house, and spake not to me,
though they looked hard at me; but as they went past I heard one say:
'If she might but be our guide to the Well at the World's End!' I durst
not tarry to speak with them, but as I looked over my shoulder I saw
them talking to my mistress in the door; but meseemed she was clad but
in poor homespun cloth instead of her rich apparel, and I am
far-sighted and clear-sighted. After this the autumn and winter that
followed it passed away tidingless."