He that is only real, had need have exceeding great parts of virtue;
as the stone had need to be rich that is set without foil; but if a
man mark it well, it is in praise and commendation of men, as it is in
gettings and gains; for the proverb is true, that “Light gains make
heavy purses;” for light gains come thick, whereas great come but now
and then. So it is true, that small matters win great commendation,
because they are continually in use and in note; whereas the occasion
of any great virtue cometh but on festivals; therefore it doth much
add to a man’s reputation, and is (as Queen Isabella[517] said) like
perpetual letters commendatory, to have good forms. To attain them, it
almost sufficeth not to despise them; for so shall a man observe them
in others; and let him trust himself with the rest; for if he labor
too much to express them, he shall lose their grace, which is to be
natural and unaffected. Some men’s behavior is like a verse, wherein
every syllable is measured; how can a man comprehend great matters,
that breaketh his mind too much to small observations? Not to use
ceremonies at all, is to teach others not to use them again, and so
diminisheth respect to himself; especially they be not to be omitted to
strangers and formal natures; but the dwelling upon them, and exalting
them above the moon, is not only tedious, but doth diminish the faith
and credit of him that speaks; and, certainly, there is a kind of
conveying of effectual and imprinting passages amongst compliments,
which is of singular use, if a man can hit upon it. Amongst a man’s
peers, a man shall be sure of familiarity, and, therefore, it is good a
little to keep state; amongst a man’s inferiors, one shall be sure of
reverence, and therefore it is good a little to be familiar. He that is
too much in any thing, so that he giveth another occasion of satiety,
maketh himself cheap. To apply one’s self to others, is good, so it
be with demonstration that a man doth it upon regard, and not upon
facility. It is a good precept, generally in seconding another, yet to
add somewhat of one’s own; as, if you will grant his opinion, let it be
with some distinction; if you will follow his motion, let it be with
condition; if you allow his counsel, let it be with alleging further
reason. Men had need beware how they be too perfect in compliments; for
be they never so sufficient otherwise, their enviers will be sure to
give them that attribute to the disadvantage of their greater virtues.
It is loss, also, in business, to be too full of respects, or to be too
curious in observing times and opportunities. Solomon saith, “He that
considereth the wind shall not sow, and he that looketh to the clouds
shall not reap.”[518] A wise man will make more opportunities than he
finds. Men’s behavior should be like their apparel, not too strait or
point device,[519] but free for exercise or motion.