NEW SAILING ORDERS

(_To be in force on or after the next Ultimo instant_)

_The Darkest Night._--Any man not knowing when the darkest night is will

be discharged.

Inquiries can be made any day at the Admiralty from 10 till 4, excepting

from 1 till 2, when all hands are piped to luncheon.

_The Rule of the Rowed_ at sea is similar to the rule of the sailed.

No ship must come into collision with another.

If two steamers are on the starboard tack, they must return to the

harbour and begin again.

Any steamship likely to meet another steamship must reverse and go

somewhere else.

Any admiral out after 12 o'clock will be locked up wherever he is.

Nobody, however high in command, can be permitted to sit on a buoy out

at sea for the purpose of frightening vessels.

All complaints to be made to the Admiralty, or to one of the mounted

sentries at the Horse Guards.

[Illustration]

An admiral is on duty all night to receive complaints.

Every mounted marine on joining must bring his own fork, spoon and towel

horse.

If two vessels are meeting end on, take one end off. The other loses and

forfeits sixpence.

Any infringement or infraction of the above rules and regulations will

be reported by the head winds to the deputy toastmaster for the current

year at Colwell-Hatchney.

N.B.--On hand a second-hand pair of gloves for boxing the compass.

Remember the 26th of December is near, when they may be wanted. The

equivalent of a chaplain-general to the forces has been appointed. He is

to be called chaplain-admiral to the fleet. The cockpits are being

turned into pulpits. If not ready by next Sunday he will deliver his

first sermon from the main-top gallant jibboom mizen. The Colney-Hatches

will be crowded.

* * * * *

[Illustration: OUT OF IT

The eldest Miss Blossom thinks that the part of double gooseberry is

rather monotonous.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: HOW LITTLE OUR DEAR ONES UNDERSTAND US

_Madge._ "My dear George, there you've been sitting with your camera

since breakfast, and you haven't taken anything."

_George (intent on his own feelings)._ "Don't ask me to, darling, I

couldn't touch it!"]

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Mr. Punch Afloat: The Humours of Boating and Sailing · 第 71 / 84 题