(_Page from the Diary of a Sweet Girl Clubbist_)
_Monday._--Very pleased I have been chosen for the boat. So glad to have
been taken before Amy and Blanche. I am sure I shall look better than
either of them. They needn't have been so disagreeable about it. Amy
asking for her racquet back, and Blanche refusing to lend me her cloak
with the feather trimmings. Fanny should make a first-rate stroke, and
Kate a model coach.
_Tuesday._--We were to have practice to-day, but postponed it to decide
on our colours. Blouses are to be left optional, but we are all to wear
the same caps. We had a terrible fight over it. Fanny, Rose and I are
blonde, so naturally we want light blue. Henrietta is a brunette, and
(selfish thing!) stood out for yellow! However, we settled it amicably
at last by choosing--as a compromise--pink. Then I made a capital
suggestion, which pleased everybody immensely. Instead of caps we are to
wear picture-hats.
_Wednesday._--Went out in our boat for the first time. Such a fight for
places! I managed to secure bow, which is a long way the best seat, as
you lead the procession. Everybody sees you first, and it is most
important that the crew should create a good impression. Henrietta
wanted the position, and said that her brother had told her that the
lightest girl should always be bow. I replied "quite right, and as I
had lighter hair than hers, and my eyes were blue and hers brown, of
course it should be me." Fanny and Rose agreed with me, and Kate (who
was annoyed at not being consulted enough) placed her five. Henrietta
was in such a rage!
_Thursday._--We are in training! Think it rather nonsense. Why should we
give up _meringues_ and sponge-cakes? And as to cigarettes, that isn't
really a privation, as none of us really like them. A mile's run isn't
bad, but it wears out one's shoes terribly. Kate wanted us all to drink
stout, but we refused. We have compromised it by taking _fleur d'orange_
mixed with soda-water instead. The Turkish bath is rather long, but you
can read a novel after the douche. Take it altogether, perhaps training
is rather fun. Still, I think it, as I have already said, nonsense,
especially in regard to sponge-cakes and _meringues_.
_Friday._--Spent the whole of the morning in practising starts.
Everybody disagreeable--Kate absolutely rude. Fancy wanting me to put
down my parasol! And then Henrietta (spiteful creature!) declaring that
I didn't keep my eye on the steering (we have lost our coxswain--had to
pay a visit to some people in the country) because I _would_ look at the
people on the banks! And Kate backing her up! I was very angry indeed.
So I didn't come to practice in the afternoon, saying I had a bad
headache, and went instead to Flora's five o'clock tea.
_Saturday._--The day of the race! Everybody in great spirits, and
looking their best. Even Henrietta was nice. Our picture-hats were
perfectly beautiful. Fanny came out with additional feathers, which
wasn't quite fair. But she said, as she was "stroke" she ought to be
different from the rest. And as it was too late to have the hat altered
we submitted. We started, and got on beautifully. I saw lots of people I
knew on the towing-path, and waved to them. And just because I dropped
hold of my oar as we got within ten yards of the winning-post they all
said it was _my_ fault we lost! Who ever heard the like? The crew are a
spiteful set of ugly frumps, and on my solemn word I won't row any more.
Yes, it's no use asking me, as I say I won't, and I will stick to it.
There!
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[Illustration: THE HYPNOTIC STEWARD
(_Specially engaged for the Cross-Channel Service_)
["Dr. Paul Farez asserts that he has found in hypnotism an absolutely
infallible remedy for sea-sickness and similar discomforts."--_Daily
Paper._]
]
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[Illustration: YACHTING IN LITTLE
Squeamish accepts Stunsel's invitation for a month's cruise in his
10-ton yawl. He suffers much.
_Stunsel._ "Come, come, Squeamish, old fellow, cheer up! You'll be all
right in a week or so!!"]
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[Illustration: SOLAR STUDIES IN THE HONEYMOON
_She_ (_reading a scientific work_). "Isn't it wonderful, Charley dear,
that the sun is supposed to be millions of miles away!"
_Charley Dear_ (_suffering from the heat_). "Millions of miles, darling?
Good thing for all of us that it isn't any nearer."]
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[Illustration: "'ERE'S YOUR WERRY GOOD 'ELTH, SIR!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "O WOMAN, IN OUR HOURS OF EASE!"
"Poor soul, 'e do look lonely all by 'isself! Ain't you glad you've got
us with you, 'Enry?"]
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