(_Described by a Landlubber_)
_Sailing in the Wind's Eye._--In order to accomplish this difficult
manoeuvre, you must first of all discover where the wind's eye is, and
then, if it be practicable, you may proceed to sail in it. It is
presumed for this purpose that the wind's eye is a "liquid" one.
_Hugging the Shore._--When you desire to hug the shore, you first of all
must land on it. Then take some sand and shingle in your arms, and give
it a good hug. In doing this, however, be careful no one sees you, or
the result of the manoeuvre may be a strait-waistcoat.
_Wearing a Ship._--This it is by no means an easy thing to do, and it is
difficult to suggest what will make it easier. Wearing a chignon is
preposterous enough, but when a man is told that he must wear a ship, he
would next expect to hear that he must eat the Monument.
_Boxing the Compass._--Assume a fighting attitude, and hit the compass
a "smart stinger on the dial-plate," as the sporting papers call it. But
before you do so, you had best take care to have your boxing-gloves on,
or you may hurt your fingers.
_Whistling for a Wind._--When you whistle for a wind, you should choose
an air appropriate, such as "_Blow, gentle gales_," or "_Winds, gently
whisper_."
_Reefing the Lee-scuppers._--First get upon a reef, and then put your
lee-scuppers on it. The manoeuvre is so simple, that no more need be
said of it.
_Splicing the Main-brace._--When your main-brace comes in pieces, get a
needle and thread and splice it. If it be your custom to wear a pair of
braces, you first must ascertain which of them _is_ your main one.
* * * * *
A DELICATE HINT.--_Brighton Boatman._ "There's a wessel out there, sir,
a labourin' a good deal, sir! Ah, sir, sailors works werry
'ard--precious 'ard lines it is for the poor fellers out
there!--Precious hard it is for everybody just now. I know _I_ should
like the price of a pint o' beer and a bit o' bacca!"
* * * * *
[Illustration: SCENE--A quiet nook, five miles off anywhere. Jones has
gone down to the punt to fetch up the luncheon-basket, and has dropped
it overboard.