CHAPTER LXV 255

_THE THREE CUTTERS_

CHAPTER I 267

CHAPTER II 279

CHAPTER III 287

CHAPTER IV 293

CHAPTER V 302

CHAPTER VI 313

CHAPTER VII 321

Peter Simple

Chapter XXXI

Captain Kearney--The dignity ball.

The next morning at daylight we exchanged numbers, and saluted the flag,

and by eight o'clock they all anchored. Mr Falcon went on board the

admiral's ship with despatches, and to report the death of Captain

Savage. In about half an hour he returned, and we were glad to perceive,

with a smile upon his face, from which we argued that he would receive

his acting order as commander, which was a question of some doubt, as

the admiral had the power to give the vacancy to whom he pleased,

although it would not have been fair if he had not given it to Mr

Falcon; not that Mr Falcon would not have received his commission, as

Captain Savage dying when the ship was under no admiral's command, he

_made himself_; but still the admiral might have sent him home, and not

have given him a ship. But this he did, the captain of the _Minerve_

being appointed to the _Sanglier_, the captain of the _Opossum_ to the

_Minerve_, and Captain Falcon taking command of the _Opossum_. He

received his commission that evening, and the next day the exchanges

were made. Captain Falcon would have taken me with him, and offered so

to do; but I could not leave O'Brien, so I preferred remaining in the

_Sanglier_.

We were all anxious to know what sort of a person our new captain was,

whose name was Kearney; but we had no time to ask the midshipmen, except

when they came in charge of the boats which brought his luggage; they

replied generally, that he was a very good sort of fellow, and there was

no harm in him. But when I had the night watch with Swinburne, he came

up to me, and said, "Well, Mr Simple, so we have a new captain. I sailed

with him for two years in a brig."

"And pray, Swinburne, what sort of a person is he?"

"Why, I'll tell you, Mr Simple: he's a good-tempered, kind fellow

enough, but--"

"But what?"

"Such a _bouncer_!!"

"How do you mean? He's not a very stout man."

"Bless you, Mr Simple, why you don't understand English. I mean that

he's the greatest liar that ever walked a deck. Now, Mr Simple, you know

I can spin a yarn occasionally."

"Yes, that you can, witness the hurricane the other night."

"Well, Mr Simple, I cannot _hold a candle_ to him. It a'n't that I might

not stretch now and then, just for fun, as far as he can, but, d----n

it, he's always on the stretch. In fact, Mr Simple, he never tells the

truth except _by mistake_. He's as poor as a rat, and has nothing but

his pay; yet to believe him, he is worth at least as much as Greenwich

Hospital. But you'll soon find him out, and he'll sarve to laugh at

behind his back, you know, Mr Simple, for that's _no go_ before his

face."

Captain Kearney made his appearance on board the next day. The men were

mustered to receive him, and all the officers were on the quarter-deck.

"You've a fine set of marines here, Captain Falcon," observed he; "those

I left on board of the _Minerve_ were only fit to be _hung_; and you

have a good show of reefers too--those I left in the _Minerve_ were not

_worth hanging_. If you please, I'll read my commission, if you'll order

the men aft." His commission was read, all hands with their hats off

from respect to the authority from which it proceeded. "Now, my lads,"

said Captain Kearney, addressing the ship's company, "I've but few words

to say to you. I am appointed to command this ship, and you appear to

have a very good character from your late first lieutenant. All I

request of you is this: be smart, keep sober, and always _tell the

truth_--that's enough. Pipe down. Gentlemen," continued he, addressing

the officers, "I trust that we shall be good friends; and I see no

reason that it should be otherwise." He then turned away with a bow, and

called his coxswain--"Williams, you'll go on board, and tell my steward

that I have promised to dine with the governor to-day, and that he must

come to dress me; and, coxswain, recollect to put the sheepskin mat on

the stern gratings of my gig--not the one I used to have when I was on

shore in my _carriage_, but the blue one which was used for the

_chariot_--you know which I mean." I happened to look Swinburne in the

face, who cocked his eye at me, as much as to say--"There he goes." We

afterwards met the officers of the _Minerve_, who corroborated all that

Swinburne had said, although it was quite unnecessary, as we had the

captain's own words every minute to satisfy us of the fact.

Dinner parties were now very numerous, and the hospitality of the island

is but too well known. The invitations extended to the midshipmen, and

many was the good dinner and kind reception which I had during my stay.

There was, however, one thing I had heard so much of, that I was anxious

to witness it, which was a _dignity ball_. But I must enter a little

into explanation, or my readers will not understand me. The coloured

people of Barbadoes, for reasons best known to themselves, are

immoderately proud, and look upon all the negroes who are born on other

islands as _niggers_; they have also an extraordinary idea of their own

bravery, although I never heard that it has ever been put to the proof.

The free Barbadians are, most of them, very rich, and hold up their

heads as they walk with an air quite ridiculous. They ape the manners of

the Europeans, at the same time that they appear to consider them as

almost their inferiors. Now, a _dignity_ ball is a ball given by the

most consequential of their coloured people, and from the amusement and

various other reasons, is generally well attended by the officers both

on shore and afloat. The price of the tickets of admission was high--I

think they were half a joe, or eight dollars each.

The governor sent out cards for a grand ball and supper for the ensuing

week, and Miss Betsy Austin, a quadroon woman, ascertaining the fact,

sent out her cards for the same evening. This was not altogether in

_rivalry_, but for another reason, which was, that she was aware that

most of the officers and midshipmen of the ships would obtain permission

to go to the governor's ball, and, preferring hers, would slip away and

join the party, by which means she ensured a full attendance.

On the day of invitation our captain came on board, and told our new

first lieutenant (of whom I shall say more hereafter) that the governor

insisted that all _his_ officers should go--that he would take no

denial, and, therefore, he presumed, go they must; that the fact was,

that the governor was a _relation_ of his wife, and under some trifling

obligations to him in obtaining for him his present command. He

certainly had spoken to the _prime minister_, and he thought it not

impossible, considering the intimate terms which the minister and he had

been on from childhood, that his solicitation might have had some

effect; at all events, it was pleasant to find that there was some

little gratitude left in this world. After this, of course, every

officer went, with the exception of the master, who said that he'd as

soon have two round turns in his hawse as go to see people kick their

legs about like fools, and that he'd take care of the ship.

The governor's ball was very splendid, but the ladies were rather

sallow, from the effects of the climate. However, there were exceptions,

and on the whole it was a very gay affair; but we were all anxious to go

to the _dignity_ ball of Miss Betsy Austin. I slipped away with three

other midshipmen, and we soon arrived there. A crowd of negroes were

outside of the house; but the ball had not yet commenced, from the want

of gentlemen, the ball being very correct, nothing under mulatto in

colour being admitted. Perhaps I ought to say here, that the progeny of

a white and a negro is a mulatto, or half and half--of a white and

mulatto, a _quadroon_, or one-quarter black, and of this class the

company were chiefly composed. I believe a quadroon and white make the

_mustee_ or one-eighth black, and the mustee and white the mustafina, or

one-sixteenth black. After that, they are _whitewashed_, and considered

as Europeans. The pride of colour is very great in the West Indies, and

they have as many quarterings as a German prince in his coat of arms; a

quadroon looks down upon a mulatto, while a mulatto looks down upon a

_sambo_, that is, half mulatto half negro, while a sambo in his turn

looks down upon a _nigger_. The quadroons are certainly the handsomest

race of the whole, some of the women are really beautiful; their hair is

long and perfectly straight, their eyes large and black, their figures

perfection, and you can see the colour mantle in their cheeks quite as

plainly, and with as much effect, as in those of a European. We found

the door of Miss Austin's house open, and ornamented with orange

branches, and on our presenting ourselves were accosted by a mulatto

gentleman, who was, we presumed, "usher of the black rod." His head was

well powdered, he was dressed in white jean trousers, a waistcoat not

six inches long, and a half-worn post-captain's coat on, as a livery,

With a low bow, he "took de liberty to trouble de gentlemen for de card

for de ball," which being produced, we were ushered on by him to the

ball-room, at the door of which Miss Austin was waiting to receive her

company. She made us a low courtesy, observing, "She really happy to see

de _gentlemen_ of de ship, but hoped to see de _officers_ also at her

_dignity_."

This remark touched our _dignity_, and one of my companions replied,

"That we midshipmen considered ourselves officers, and no _small_ ones

either, and that if she waited for the lieutenants she must wait until

they were tired of the governor's ball, we having given the preference

to hers." This remark set all to rights; sangaree was handed about, and

I looked around at the company. I must acknowledge, at the risk of

losing the good opinion of my fair countrywomen, that I never saw before

so many pretty figures and faces. The _officers_ not having yet arrived,

we received all the attention, and I was successively presented to Miss

Eurydice, Miss Minerva, Miss Sylvia, Miss Aspasia, Miss Euterpe, and

many others, evidently borrowed from the different men-of-war which had

been on the station. All these young ladies gave themselves all the airs

of Almack's. Their dresses I cannot pretend to describe--jewels of value

were not wanting, but their drapery was slight; they appeared neither to

wear nor to require stays, and on the whole, their figures were so

perfect that they could only be ill dressed by having on too much dress.

A few more midshipmen and some lieutenants (O'Brien among the number)

having made their appearance, Miss Austin directed that the ball should

commence. I requested the honour of Miss Eurydice's hand in a cotillon,

which was to open the ball. At this moment stepped forth the premier

violin, master of the ceremonies and ballet-master, Massa Johnson,

really a very smart man, who gave lessons in dancing to all the "'Badian

ladies." He was a dark quadroon, his hair slightly powdered, dressed in

a light blue coat thrown well back, to show his lily-white waistcoat,

only one button of which he could afford to button to make full room for

the pride of his heart, the frill of his shirt, which really was _un

Jabot superb_, four inches wide, and extending from his collar to the

waistband of his nankeen tights, which were finished off at his knees

with huge bunches of ribbon; his legs were encased in silk stockings,

which, however, was not very good taste on his part, as they showed the

manifest advantage which an European has over a coloured man in the

formation of the leg: instead of being straight, his shins curved like a

cheese-knife, and, moreover, his leg was planted into his foot like the

handle into a broom or scrubbing-brush, there being quite as much of the

foot on the heel side as on the toe side. Such was the appearance of Mr

Apollo Johnson, whom the ladies considered as the _ne plus ultra_ of

fashion, and the _arbiter elegantiarum_. His _bow-tick_, or

fiddle-stick, was his wand, whose magic rap on the fiddle produced

immediate obedience to his mandates. "Ladies and gentle, take your

seats." All started up. "Miss Eurydice, you open de ball."

Miss Eurydice had but a sorry partner, but she undertook to instruct me.

O'Brien was our _vis-à-vis_ with Miss Euterpe. The other gentlemen were

officers from the ships, and we stood up twelve, checkered brown and

white, like a chess-board. All eyes were fixed upon Mr Apollo Johnson,

who first looked at the couples, then at his fiddle, and lastly, at the

other musicians, to see if all was right, and then with a wave of his

_bow-tick_ the music began. "Massa lieutenant," cried Apollo to O'Brien,

"cross over to opposite lady, right hand and left, den figure to Miss

Eurydice--dat right; now four hand round. You lilly midshipman, set your

partner, sir; den twist her round; dat do; now stop. First figure all

over."

At this time I thought I might venture to talk a little with my partner,

and I ventured a remark; to my surprise she answered very sharply, "I

come here for dance, sar, and not for chatter; look, Massa Johnson, he

tap um bow-tick."

The second figure commenced, and I made a sad bungle; so I did of the

third, and fourth, and fifth, for I never had danced a cotillon. When I

handed my partner to her place, who certainly was the prettiest girl in

the room, she looked rather contemptuously at me, and observed to a

neighbour, "I really pity de gentleman as come from England dat no know

how to dance nor nothing at all, until em hab instruction at Barbadoes."

A country dance was now called for, which was more acceptable to all

parties, as none of Mr Apollo Johnson's pupils were very perfect in

their cotillon, and none of the officers, except O'Brien, knew anything

about them. O'Brien's superior education on this point, added to his

lieutenant's epaulet and handsome person, made him much courted; but he

took up with Miss Eurydice after I had left her, and remained with her

the whole evening; thereby exciting the jealousy of Mr Apollo Johnson,

who, it appears, was amorous in that direction. Our party increased

every minute; all the officers of the garrison, and, finally, as soon as

they could get away, the governor's aid-de-camps, all dressed in _mufti_

(i.e., plain clothes). The dancing continued until three o'clock in the

morning, when it was quite a squeeze, from the constant arrival of fresh

recruits from all the houses of Barbadoes. I must say, that a few

bottles of eau de Cologne thrown about the room would have improved the

atmosphere. By this time the heat was terrible, and the _mopping_ of the

ladies' faces everlasting. I would recommend a DIGNITY ball to all stout

gentlemen who wish to be reduced a stone or two. Supper was now

announced, and having danced the last country dance with Miss Minerva, I

of course had the pleasure of handing her into the supper-room. It was

my fate to sit opposite to a fine turkey, and I asked my partner if I

should have the pleasure of helping her to a piece of the breast. She

looked at me very indignantly, and said, "Curse your impudence, sar, I

wonder where you larn manners. Sar, I take a lilly turkey _bosom_, if

you please. Talk of _breast_ to a lady, sar;--really quite _horrid_." I

made two or three more barbarous mistakes before the supper was

finished. At last the eating was over, and I must say a better supper I

never sat down to. "Silence, gentlemen and ladies," cried Mr Apollo

Johnson. "Wid the permission of our amiable hostess, I will propose a

toast. Gentlemen and ladies--You all know, and if be so you don't, I say

that there no place in the world like Barbadoes. All de world fight

against England, but England nebber fear; King George nebber fear, while

_Barbadoes 'tand 'tiff_. 'Badian fight for King George to last drop of

him blood. Nebber see the day 'Badian run away; you all know dem

Frenchmans at San Lucee, give up Morne Fortunee, when he hear de 'Badian

volunteer come against him. I hope no 'fence present company, but um

sorry to say English come here too jealous of 'Badians. Gentlemen and

lady--Barbadian born ab only one fault--he _really too brave_. I propose

health of 'Island of Barbadoes.'" Acclamations from all quarters

followed this truly modest speech, and the toast was drunk with rapture;

the ladies were delighted with Mr Apollo's eloquence, and the lead which

he took in the company.

O'Brien then rose and addressed the company as follows:--

"Ladies and gentlemen--Mr Poll has spoken better than the best parrot I

ever met with in this country, but as he has thought proper to drink the

'Island of Barbadoes,' I mean to be a little more particular. I wish,

with him, all good health to the island; but there is a charm without

which the island would be a desert--that is, the society of the lovely

girls which now surround us, and take our hearts by storm--" (here

O'Brien put his arm gently round Miss Eurydice's waist, and Mr Apollo

ground his teeth so as to be heard at the furthest end of the room)"--

therefore, gentlemen, with your permission, I will propose the health of

the ''Badian Ladies.'" This speech of O'Brien's was declared, by the

females at least, to be infinitely superior to Mr Apollo Johnson's. Miss

Eurydice was even more gracious, and the other ladies were more envious.

Many other toasts and much more wine was drunk, until the male part of

the company appeared to be rather riotous. Mr Apollo, however, had to

regain his superiority, and after some hems and hahs, begged permission

to give a sentiment. "Gentlemen and ladies, I beg then to say--

"Here's to de cock who make lub to de hen,

Crow till he hoarse and make lub again."

This _sentiment_ was received with rapture; and after silence was

obtained, Miss Betsy Austin rose and said--"Unaccustomed as she was to

public 'peaking, she must not sit 'till and not tank de gentleman for

his very fine toast, and in de name of de ladies she begged to propose

another sentimen', which was--

"Here to de hen what nebber refuses,

Let cock pay compliment whenebber he chooses."

If the first toast was received with applause, this was with enthusiasm;

but we received a damper after it was subsided, by the lady of the house

getting up and saying--"Now, gentlemen and ladies, me tink it right to

say dat it time to go home; I nebber allow people get drunk or kick up

bobbery in my house, so now I tink we better take parting-glass, and

very much obliged to you for your company."

As O'Brien said, this was a broad hint to be off, so we all now took our

parting-glass, in compliance with her request, and our own wishes, and

proceeded to escort our partners on their way home. While I was

assisting Miss Minerva to her red crape shawl, a storm was brewing in

another quarter, to wit, between Mr Apollo Johnson and O'Brien. O'Brien

was assiduously attending to Miss Eurydice, whispering what he called

soft blarney in her ear, when Mr Apollo, who was above spirit-boiling

heat with jealousy, came up, and told Miss Eurydice that he would have

the honour of escorting her home.

"You may save yourself the trouble, you dingy gut-scraper," replied

O'Brien; "the lady is under my protection, so take your ugly black face

out of the way, or I'll show you how I treat a ''Badian who is really

too brave.'"

"So 'elp me Gad, Massa Lieutenant, 'pose you put finger on me, I show

you what 'Badian can do."

Apollo then attempted to insert himself between O'Brien and his lady,

upon which O'Brien shoved him back with great violence, and continued

his course towards the door. They were in the passage when I came up,

for hearing O'Brien's voice in anger, I left Miss Minerva to shift for

herself.

Miss Eurydice had now left O'Brien's arm, at his request, and he and Mr

Apollo were standing in the passage, O'Brien close to the door, which

was shut, and Apollo swaggering up to him. O'Brien, who knew the tender

part of a black, saluted Apollo with a kick on the shins which would

have broken my leg. Massa Johnson roared with pain, and recoiled two or

three paces, parting the crowd away behind him. The blacks never fight

with fists, but butt with their heads like rams, and with quite as much

force. When Mr Apollo had retreated, he gave his shin one more rub,

uttered a loud yell, and started at O'Brien, with his head aimed at

O'Brien's chest, like a battering-ram. O'Brien, who was aware of this

plan of fighting, stepped dexterously on one side, and allowed Mr Apollo

to pass by him, which he did with such force, that his head went clean

through the panel of the door behind O'Brien, and there he stuck as fast

as if in a pillory, squeaking like a pig for assistance, and foaming

with rage. After some difficulty he was released, and presented a very

melancholy figure. His face was much cut, and his superb _Jabot_ all in

tatters; he appeared, however, to have had quite enough of it, as he

retreated to the supper-room, followed by some of his admirers, without

asking or looking after O'Brien.

But if Mr Apollo had had enough of it, his friends were too indignant to

allow us to go off scot free. A large mob was collected in the street,

vowing vengeance on us for our treatment of their flash man, and a row

was to be expected. Miss Eurydice had escaped, so that O'Brien had his

hands free. "Cam out, you hangman tiefs, cam out; only wish had rock

stones, to mash your heads with," cried the mob of negroes. The officers

now sallied out in a body, and were saluted with every variety of

missile, such as rotten oranges, cabbage-stalks, mud, and cocoa-nut

shells. We fought our way manfully, but as we neared the beach the mob

increased to hundreds, and at last we could proceed no further, being

completely jammed up by the niggers, upon whose heads we could make no

more impression than upon blocks of marble. "We must draw our swords,"

observed an officer. "No, no," replied O'Brien, "that will not do; if

once we shed blood, they will never let us get on board with our lives.

The boat's crew by this time must be aware that there is a row." O'Brien

was right. He had hardly spoken, before a lane was observed to be made

through the crowd in the distance, which in two minutes was open to us.

Swinburne appeared in the middle of it, followed by the rest of the

boat's crew, armed with the boat's stretchers, which they did not aim at

the _heads_ of the blacks, but swept them like scythes against their

_shins_. This they continued to do, right and left of us, as we walked

through and went down to the boats, the seamen closing up the rear with

their stretchers, with which they ever and anon made a sweep at the

black fellows if they approached too near. It was now broad daylight,

and in a few minutes we were again safely on board the frigate. Thus

ended the first and last dignity ball that I attended.

Chapter XXXII

I am claimed by Captain Kearney as a relation--Trial of skill between

first lieutenant and captain with the long bow--The shark, the pug-dog,

and the will--A quarter-deck picture.

As the admiral was not one who would permit the ships under his command

to lie idle in port, in a very few days after the dignity ball which I

have described, all the squadron sailed on their various destinations. I

was not sorry to leave the bay, for one soon becomes tired of profusion,

and cared nothing for either oranges, bananas, or shaddocks, nor even

for, the good dinners and claret at the tables of the army mess and

gentlemen of the island. The sea breeze soon became more precious to us

than anything else, and if we could have bathed without the fear of a

shark, we should have equally appreciated that most refreshing of all

luxuries under the torrid zone. It was therefore with pleasure that we

received the information that we were to sail the next day to cruise off

the French island of Martinique. Captain Kearney had been so much on

shore that we saw but little of him, and the ship was entirely under the

control of the first lieutenant, of whom I have hitherto not spoken. He

was a very short, pock-marked man, with red hair and whiskers, a good

sailor, and not a bad officer; that is, he was a practical sailor, and

could show any foremast man his duty in any department--and this seamen

very much appreciate, as it is not very common; but I never yet knew an

officer who prided himself upon his practical knowledge, who was at the

same time a good navigator, and too often, by assuming the Jack Tar,

they lower the respect due to them, and become coarse and vulgar in

their manners and language. This was the case with Mr Phillott, who

prided himself upon his slang, and who was at one time "hail fellow well

met" with the seamen, talking to them, and being answered as familiarly

as if they were equals, and at another, knocking the very same men down

with a handspike if he was displeased. He was not bad-tempered, but very

hasty; and his language to the officers was occasionally very incorrect;

to the midshipmen invariably so. However, on the whole, he was not

disliked, although he was certainly not respected as a first lieutenant

should have been. It is but fair to say, that he was the same to his

superiors as he was to his inferiors, and the bluntness with which he

used to contradict and assert his disbelief of Captain Kearney's

narratives often produced a coolness between them for some days.

The day after we sailed from Carlisle Bay I was asked to dine in the

cabin. The dinner was served upon plated dishes, which looked very

grand, but there was not much in them. "This plate," observed the

captain, "was presented to me by some merchants for my exertions in

saving their property from the Danes when I was cruising off

Heligoland."

"Why, that lying steward of yours told me that you bought it at

Portsmouth," replied the first lieutenant: "I asked him in the galley

this morning."

"How came you to assert such a confounded falsehood, sir?" said the

captain to the man who stood behind his chair.

"I only said that I thought so," replied the steward.

"Why, didn't you say that the bill had been sent in, through you, seven

or eight times, and that the captain had paid it with a flowing sheet?"

"Did you dare say that, sir?" interrogated the captain, very angrily.

"Mr Phillott mistook me, sir?" replied the steward. "He was so busy

damning the sweepers, that he did not hear me right. I said, the

midshipmen had paid their crockery bill with the fore-topsail."

"Ay! ay!" replied the captain, "that's much more likely."

"Well, Mr Steward," replied Mr Phillott, "I'll be d----d if you ar'n't

as big a liar as your--" (master, he was going to plump out, but

fortunately the first lieutenant checked himself, and added)--"as your

father was before you."

The captain changed the conversation by asking me whether I would take a

slice of ham. "It's real Westphalia, Mr Simple; I have them sent me

direct by Count Troningsken, an intimate friend of mine, who kills his

own wild boars in the Hartz mountains."

"How the devil do you get them over, Captain Kearney?"

"There are ways and means of doing everything, Mr Phillott, and the

First Consul is not quite so bad as he is represented. The first batch

was sent over with a very handsome letter to me, written in his own

hand, which I will show you some of these days. I wrote to him in

return, and sent to him two Cheshire cheeses by a smuggler, and since

that they came regularly. Did you ever eat Westphalia ham, Mr Simple?"

"Yes," replied I; "once I partook of one at Lord Privilege's."

"Lord Privilege! why he's a distant relation of mine, a sort of fifth

cousin," replied Captain Kearney.

"Indeed, sir!" replied I.

"Then you must allow me to introduce you to a relation, Captain

Kearney," said the first lieutenant; "for Mr Simple is his grandson."

"Is it possible? I can only say, Mr Simple, that I shall be most happy

to show you every attention, and am very glad that I have you as one of

my officers."

Now although this was all false, for Captain Kearney was not in the

remotest manner connected with my family, yet having once asserted it,

he could not retract, and the consequence was, that I was much the

gainer by his falsehood, as he treated me very kindly afterwards, always

calling me _cousin_.

The first lieutenant smiled and gave me a wink, when the captain had

finished his speech to me, as much as to say, "You're in luck," and then

the conversation changed. Captain Kearney certainly dealt in the

marvellous to admiration, and really told his stories with such

earnestness, that I actually believe that he thought he was telling the

truth. Never was there such an instance of confirmed habit. Telling a

story of a cutting-out expedition, he said, "The French captain would

have fallen by my hand, but just as I levelled my musket, a ball came,

and cut off the cock of the lock as clean as if it was done with a

knife--a very remarkable instance," observed he.

"Not equal to what occurred in a ship I was in," replied the first

lieutenant, "when the second lieutenant was grazed by a grape-shot,

which cut off one of his whiskers, and turning round his head to

ascertain what was the matter, another grape-shot came and took off the

other. Now that's what I call a _close shave_."

"Yes," replied Captain Kearney, "very close, indeed, if it were true;

but you'll excuse me, Mr Phillott, but you sometimes tell strange

stories. I do not mind it myself, but the example is not good to my

young relation here, Mr Simple."

"Captain Kearney," replied the first lieutenant, laughing very

immoderately, "do you know what the pot called the kettle?"

"No, sir, I do not," retorted the captain, with offended dignity. "Mr

Simple, will you take a glass of wine?"

I thought that this little _brouillerie_ would have checked the captain;

it did so, but only for a few minutes, when he again commenced. The

first lieutenant observed that it would be necessary to let water into

the ship every morning, and pump it out, to avoid the smell of the

bilge-water. "There are worse smells than bilge-water," replied the

captain. "What do you think of a whole ship's company being nearly

poisoned with otto of roses? Yet that occurred to me when in the

Mediterranean. I was off Smyrna, cruising for a French ship, that was to

sail to France, with a pasha on board, as an ambassador. I knew she

would be a good prize, and was looking sharp out, when one morning we

discovered her on the lee bow. We made all sail, but she walked away

from us, bearing away gradually till we were both before the wind, and

at night we lost sight of her. As I knew that she was bound to

Marseilles, I made all sail to fall in with her again. The wind was

light and variable; but five days afterwards, as I lay in my cot, just

before daylight, I smelt a very strong smell, blowing in at the weather

port, and coming down the skylight, which was open; and after sniffing

at it two or three times, I knew it to be otto of roses. I sent for the

officer of the watch, and asked him if there was anything in sight. He

replied 'that there was not;' and I ordered him to sweep the horizon

with his glass, and look well out to windward. As the wind freshened,

the smell became more powerful. I ordered him to get the royal yards

across, and all ready to make sail, for I knew that the Turk must be

near us. At daylight there he was, just three miles ahead in the wind's

eye. But although he beat us going free, he was no match for us, on a

wind, and before noon we had possession of him and all his harem.

By-the-by, I could tell you a good story about the ladies. She was a

very valuable prize, and among other things, she had a _puncheon_ of

otto of roses on board--."

"Whew!" cried the first lieutenant. "What! a whole puncheon?"

"Yes," replied the captain, "a Turkish puncheon--not quite so large,

perhaps, as ours on board; their weights and measures are different. I

took out most of the valuables into the brig I commanded--about 20,000

sequins--carpets--and among the rest, this cask of otto of roses, which

we had smelt three miles off. We had it safe on board, when the mate of

the hold, not slinging it properly, it fell into the spirit-room with a

run, and was stove to pieces. Never was such a scene; my first

lieutenant and several men on deck fainted; and the men in the hold were

brought up lifeless; it was some time before they were recovered. We let

the water into the brig, and pumped it out, but nothing would take away

the smell, which was so overpowering, that before I could get to Malta I

had forty men on the sick list. When I arrived there, I turned the mate

out of the service for his carelessness. It was not until after having

smoked the brig, and finding that of little use, after having sunk her

for three weeks, that the smell was at all bearable; but even then it

could never be eradicated, and the admiral sent the brig home, and she

was sold out of the service. They could do nothing with her at the

dockyards. She was broken up, and bought by the people at Brighton and

Tunbridge Wells, who used her timbers for turning fancy articles, which,

smelling as they did, so strongly of otto of roses, proved very

profitable. Were you ever at Brighton, Mr Simple?"

"Never, sir."

Just at this moment, the officer of the watch came down to say that

there was a very large shark under the counter, and wished to know if

the captain had any objection to the officers attempting to catch it.

"By no means," replied Captain Kearney; "I hate sharks as I do the

devil. I nearly lost £14,000 by one, when I was in the Mediterranean."

"May I inquire how, Captain Kearney?" said the first lieutenant, with a

demure face; "I'm very anxious to know."

"Why the story is simply this," replied the captain. "I had an old

relation at Malta, whom I found out by accident--an old maid of sixty,

who had lived all her life on the island. It was by mere accident that I

knew of her existence. I was walking upon Strada Reale, when I saw a

large baboon that was kept there, who had a little fat pug-dog by the

tail, which he was pulling away with him, while an old lady was

screaming out for help: for whenever she ran to assist her dog, the

baboon made at her as if he would have ravished her, and caught her by

the petticoats with one hand, while he held the pug-dog fast by the

other. I owed that brute a spite for having attacked me one night when I

passed him, and perceiving what was going on, I drew my sword and gave

Mr Jacko such a clip as sent him away howling, and bleeding like a pig,

leaving me in possession of the little pug, which I took up and handed

to his mistress. The old lady trembled very much, and begged me to see

her safe home. She had a very fine house, and after she was seated on

the sofa, thanked me very much for my gallant assistance, as she termed

it, and told me her name was Kearney: upon this I very soon proved my

relationship with her, at which she was much delighted, requesting me to

consider her house as my home. I was for two years afterwards on that

station, and played my cards very well; and the old lady gave me a hint

that I should be her heir, as she had no other relations that she knew

anything of. At last I was ordered home, and not wishing to leave her, I

begged her to accompany me, offering her my cabin. She was taken very

ill a fortnight before we sailed, and made a will, leaving me her sole

heir; but she recovered, and got as fat as ever. Mr Simple, the wine

stands with you. I doubt if Lord Privilege gave you better claret than

there is in that bottle; I imported it myself ten years ago, when I

commanded the _Coquette_."

"Very odd," observed the first lieutenant--"we bought some at Barbadoes

with the same mark on the bottles and cork."

"That may be," replied the captain; "old-established houses all keep up

the same marks; but I doubt if your wine can be compared to this."

As Mr Phillott wished to hear the end of the captain's story, he would

not contradict him this time, by stating what he knew to be the case,

that the captain had sent it on board at Barbadoes; and the captain

proceeded.

"Well, I gave up my cabin to the old lady, and hung up my cot in the

gun-room during the passage home.

"We were becalmed abreast of Ceuta for two days. The old lady was very

particular about her pug-dog, and I superintended the washing of the

little brute twice a week; but at last I was tired of it, and gave him

to my coxswain to bathe. My coxswain, who was a lazy fellow, without my

knowledge, used to put the little beast into the bight of a rope, and

tow him overboard for a minute or so. It was during this calm that he

had him overboard in this way, when a confounded shark rose from under

the counter, and took in the pug-dog at one mouthful. The coxswain

reported the loss as a thing of no consequence; but I knew better, and

put the fellow in irons. I then went down and broke the melancholy fact

to Miss Kearney, stating that I had put the man in irons, and would flog

him well. The old lady broke out into a most violent passion at the

intelligence, declared that it was my fault, that I was jealous of the

dog, and had done it on purpose. The more I protested, the more she

raved; and at last I was obliged to go on deck to avoid her abuse and

keep my temper. I had not been on deck five minutes before she came up--

that is, was shoved up--for she was so heavy that she could not get up

without assistance. You know how elephants in India push the cannon

through a morass with their heads from behind; well, my steward used to

shove her up the companion-ladder just in the same way, with his head

completely buried in her petticoats. As soon as she was up, he used to

pull his head out, looking as red and hot as a fresh-boiled lobster.

Well, up she came, with her will in her hand, and, looking at me very

fiercely, she said, 'Since the shark has taken my dear dog, he may have

my will also,' and, throwing it overboard, she plumped down on the

carronade slide. 'It's very well, madam,' said I, 'but you'll be cool

by-and-by, and then you'll make another will.' 'I swear by all the hopes

that I have of going to heaven that I never will!' she replied. 'Yes,

you will, madam,' replied I. 'Never, so help me God! Captain Kearney; my

money may now go to my next heir, and that, you know, will not be you.'

Now, as I knew very well that the old lady was very positive and as good

as her word, my object was to recover the will, which was floating about

fifty yards astern, without her knowledge. I thought a moment, and then

I called the boatswain's mate to _pipe all hands to bathe_. 'You'll

excuse me, Miss Kearney,' said I, 'but the men are going to bathe, and I

do not think you would like to see them all naked. If you would, you can

stay on deck.' She looked daggers at me, and, rising from the carronade

slide, hobbled to the ladder, saying, 'that the insult was another proof

of how little I deserved any kindness from her.' As soon as she was

below, the quarter-boats were lowered down, and I went in one of them

and picked up the will, which still floated. Brigs having no

stern-windows, of course she could not see my manoeuvre, but thought

that the will was lost for ever. We had very bad weather after that,

owing to which, with the loss of her favourite pug, and constant

quarrelling with me--for I did all I could to annoy her afterwards--she

fell ill, and was buried a fortnight after she was landed at Plymouth.

The old lady kept her word; she never made another will. I proved the

one I had recovered at Doctors' Commons, and touched the whole of her

money."

As neither the first lieutenant nor I could prove whether the story was

true or not, of course we expressed our congratulations at his good

fortune, and soon afterwards left the cabin to report his marvellous

story to our messmates. When I went on deck, I found that the shark had

just been hooked, and was hauling on board. Mr Phillott had also come on

deck. The officers were all eager about the shark, and were looking over

the side, calling to each other, and giving directions to the men. Now,

although certainly there was a want of decorum on the quarter-deck,

still, the captain having given permission, it was to be excused; but Mr

Phillott thought otherwise, and commenced in his usual style, beginning

with the marine officer.

"Mr Westley, I'll trouble you not to be getting upon the hammocks.

You'll get off directly, sir. If one of your fellows were to do so, I'd

stop his grog for a month, and I don't see why you are to set a bad

example; you've been too long in barracks, sir, by half. Who is that? Mr

Williams and Mr Moore--both on the hammocks, too. Up to the foretopmast

head, both of you, directly. Mr Thomas, up to the main; and I say, you

youngster, stealing off, perch yourself upon the spanker-boom, and let

me know when you've rode to London. By God! the service is going to

hell! I don't know what officers are made of now-a-days. I'll marry some

of you young gentlemen to the gunner's daughter before long.

Quarter-deck's no better than a bear-garden. No wonder, when lieutenants

set the example."

This latter remark could only be applied to O'Brien, who stood in the

quarter-boat giving directions, before the tirade of Mr Phillott stopped

the amusement of the party. O'Brien immediately stepped out of the boat,

and going up to Mr Phillott, touched his hat, and said, "Mr Phillott, we

had the captain's permission to catch the shark, and a shark is not to

be got on board by walking up and down on the quarter-deck. As regards

myself, as long as the captain is on board, I hold myself responsible to

him alone for my conduct; and if you think I have done wrong, forward

your complaint; but if you pretend to use such language to me, as you

have to others, I shall hold you responsible. I am here, sir, as an

officer and a gentleman, and will be treated as such; and allow me to

observe, that I consider the quarter-deck more disgraced by foul and

ungentlemanly language, than I do by an officer accidentally standing

upon the hammocks. However, as you have thought proper to interfere, you

may now get the shark on board yourself."

Mr Phillott turned very red, for he never had come in contact in this

way with O'Brien. All the other officers had submitted quietly to his

unpleasant manner of speaking to them. "Very well, Mr O'Brien; I shall

hold you answerable for this language," replied he, "and shall most

certainly report your conduct to the captain."

"I will save you the trouble; Captain Kearney is now coming up, and I

will report it myself."

This O'Brien did, upon the captain's putting his foot on the

quarter-deck.

"Well," observed the captain to Mr Phillott, "what is it you complain

of?"

"Mr O'Brien's language, sir. Am I to be addressed on the quarter-deck in

that manner?"

"I really must say, Mr Phillott," replied Captain Kearney, "that I do

not perceive anything in what Mr O'Brien said, but what is correct. I

command here; and if an officer so nearly equal in rank to yourself has

committed himself, you are not to take the law into your own hands. The

fact is, Mr Phillott, your language is not quite so correct as I could

wish it. I overheard every word that passed, and I consider that _you_

have treated _your superior_ officer with disrespect--that is, _me_. I

gave permission that the shark should be caught, and with that

permission, I consequently allowed those little deviations from the

discipline of the service which must inevitably take place. Yet you have

thought proper to interfere with my permission, which is tantamount to

an order, and have made use of harsh language, and punished the young

gentlemen for obeying my injunctions. You will oblige me, sir, by

calling them all down, and in restraining your petulance for the future.

I will always support your authority when you are correct; but I regret

that in this instance you have necessitated me to weaken it."

This was a most severe check to Mr Phillott, who immediately went below,

after hailing the mastheads and calling down the midshipmen. As soon as

he was gone we were all on the hammocks again; the shark was hauled

forward, hoisted on board, and every frying-pan in the ship was in

requisition. We were all much pleased with Captain Kearney's conduct on

this occasion; and, as O'Brien observed to me, "He really is a good

fellow and clever officer. What a thousand pities it is, that he is such

a confounded liar!" I must do Mr Phillott the justice to say that he

bore no malice on this occasion, but treated us as before, which is

saying a great deal in his favour, when it is considered what power a

first lieutenant has of annoying and punishing his inferiors.

Chapter XXXIII

Another set-to between the captain and first lieutenant--Cutting-out

expedition--Mr Chucks mistaken--He dies like a gentleman--Swinburne

begins his account of the battle off St Vincent.

We had not been more than a week under the Danish island of St Thomas

when we discovered a brig close in-shore. We made all sail in chase, and

soon came within a mile and a half of the shore, when she anchored under

a battery, which opened its fire upon us. Their elevation was too great,

and several shots passed over us and between our masts.

"I once met with a very remarkable circumstance," observed Captain

Kearney. "Three guns were fired at a frigate I was on board of from a

battery, all at the same time. The three shots cut away the three

topsail ties, and down came all our topsail yards upon the cap at the

same time. That the Frenchmen might not suppose that they had taken such

good aim, we turned up our hands to reef topsails; and by the time that

the men were off the yards the ties were spliced and the topsails run up

again."

Mr Phillott could not stand this most enormous fib, and he replied,

"Very odd, indeed, Captain Kearney; but I have known a stranger

circumstance. We had put in the powder to the four guns on the main deck

when we were fighting the Danish gun-boats in a frigate I was in, and,

as the men withdrew the rammer, a shot from the enemy entered the

muzzle, and completed the loading of each gun. We fired their own shot

back upon them, and this occurred three times running."

"Upon my word," replied Captain Kearney, who had his glass upon the

battery, "I think you must have dreamt that circumstance, Mr Phillott."

"Not more than you did about the topsail ties, Captain Kearney."

Captain Kearney at that time had the long glass in his hand, holding it

up over his shoulder. A shot from the battery whizzed over his head, and

took the glass out of his hand, shivering it to pieces. "That's once,"

said Captain Kearney, very coolly; "but will you pretend that that could

ever happen three times running? They might take my head off, or my arm,

next time, but not another glass; whereas the topsail ties might be cut

by three different shot. But give me another glass, Mr Simple: I am

certain that this vessel is a privateer. What think you, Mr O'Brien?"

"I am every bit of your opinion, Captain Kearney," replied O'Brien; "and

I think it would be a very pretty bit of practice to the ship's company

to take her out from under that footy battery."

"Starboard the helm, Mr Phillott; keep away four points, and then we

will think of it to-night."

The frigate was now kept away, and ran out of the fire of the battery.

It was then about an hour before sunset, and in the West Indies the sun

does not set as it does in the northern latitudes. There is no twilight:

he descends in glory, surrounded with clouds of gold and rubies in their

gorgeous tints; and once below the horizon, all is dark. As soon as it

was dark, we hauled our wind off shore; and a consultation being held

between the captain, Mr Phillott, and O'Brien, the captain at last

decided that the attempt should be made. Indeed, although cutting-out is

a very serious affair, as you combat under every disadvantage, still the

mischief done to our trade by the fast-sailing privateers was so great

in the West Indies, that almost every sacrifice was warrantable for the

interests of the country. Still, Captain Kearney, although a brave and

prudent officer--one who calculated chances, and who would not risk his

men without he deemed that necessity imperiously demanded that such

should be done--was averse to this attack, from his knowledge of the bay

in which the brig was anchored; and although Mr Phillott and O'Brien

both were of opinion that it should be a night attack, Captain Kearney

decided otherwise. He considered, that although the risk might be

greater, yet the force employed would be more consolidated, and that

those who would hold back in the night dare not do so during the day.

Moreover, that the people on shore in the battery, as well as those in

the privateer, would be on the alert all night, and not expecting an

attack during the day, would be taken off their guard. It was therefore

directed that everything should be in preparation during the night, and

that the boats should shove off before daylight, and row in-shore,

concealing themselves behind some rocks under the cliffs which formed

the cape upon one side of the harbour; and, if not discovered, remain

there till noon, at which time it was probable that the privateer's men

would be on shore, and the vessel might be captured without difficulty.

It is always a scene of much interest on board a man-of-war when

preparations are made for an expedition of this description; and, as the

reader may not have been witness to them, it may perhaps be interesting

to describe them. The boats of men-of-war have generally two crews; the

common boats' crews, which are selected so as not to take away the most

useful men from the ship; and the service, or fighting boats' crews,

which are selected from the very best men on board. The coxswains of the

boats are the most trustworthy men in the ship, and, on this occasion,

have to see that their boats are properly equipped. The launch, yawl,

first and second cutters, were the boats appointed for the expedition.

They all carried guns mounted upon slides, which ran fore and aft

between the men. After the boats were hoisted out, the guns were lowered

down into them and shipped in the bows of the boats. The arm-chests were

next handed in, which contain the cartridges and ammunition. The shot

were put into the bottom of the boats; and so far they were all ready.

The oars of the boats were fitted to pull with grummets upon iron

thole-pins, that they might make little noise, and might swing fore and

aft without falling overboard when the boats pulled alongside the

privateer. A breaker or two (that is, small casks holding about seven

gallons each) of water was put into each boat, and also the men's

allowance of spirits, in case they should be detained by any unforeseen

circumstances. The men belonging to the boats were fully employed in

looking after their arms; some fitting their flints to their pistols,

others, and the major part of them, sharpening their cutlasses at the

grindstone, or with a file borrowed from the armourer,--all were busy

and all merry. The very idea of going into action is a source of joy to

an English sailor, and more jokes are made, more merriment excited, at

that time than at any other. Then, as it often happens that one or two

of the service boats' crews may be on the sick list, urgent

solicitations are made by others that they may supply their places. The

only parties who appear at all grave are those who are to remain in the

frigate, and not share in the expedition. There is no occasion to order

the boats to be manned, for the men are generally in long before they

are piped away. Indeed, one would think that it was a party of pleasure,

instead of danger and of death, upon which they were about to proceed.

Captain Kearney selected the officers who were to have the charge of the

boats. He would not trust any of the midshipmen on so dangerous a

service. He said that he had known so many occasions in which their

rashness and foolhardiness had spoilt an expedition; he therefore

appointed Mr Phillott, the first lieutenant, to the launch; O'Brien to

the yawl; the master to the first, and Mr Chucks, the boatswain, to the

second cutter. Mr Chucks was much pleased with the idea of having the

command of a boat, and asked me to come with him, to which I consented,

although I had intended, as usual, to have gone with O'Brien.

About an hour before daylight we ran the frigate to within a mile and a

half of the shore, and the boats shoved off; the frigate then wore

round, and stood out in the offing, that she might at daylight be at

such a distance as not to excite any suspicion that our boats were sent

away, while we in the boats pulled quietly in-shore. We were not a

quarter of an hour before we arrived at the cape forming one side of the

bay, and were well secreted among the cluster of rocks which were

underneath. Our oars were laid in; the boats' painters made fast; and

orders given for the strictest silence. The rocks were very high, and

the boats were not to be seen without any one should come to the edge of

the precipice; and even then they would, in all probability, have been

supposed to have been rocks. The water was as smooth as glass, and when

it was broad daylight, the men hung listlessly over the sides of the

boats, looking at the corals below, and watching the fish as they glided

between.

"I can't say, Mr Simple," said Mr Chucks to me in an under tone, "that I

think well of this expedition; and I have an idea that some of us will

lose the number of our mess. After a calm comes a storm; and how quiet

is everything now! But I'll take off my great coat, for the sun is hot

already. Coxswain, give me my jacket."

Mr Chucks had put on his great coat, but not his jacket underneath,

which he had left on one of the guns on the main deck, all ready to

change as soon as the heavy dew had gone off. The coxswain handed him

the jacket, and Mr Chucks threw off his great coat to put it on; but

when it was opened it proved, that by mistake he had taken away the

jacket, surmounted by two small epaulettes, belonging to Captain

Kearney, which the captain's steward, who had taken it out to brush, had

also laid upon the same gun.

"By all the nobility of England!" cried Mr Chucks, "I have taken away

the captain's jacket by mistake. Here's a pretty mess! if I put on my

great coat I shall be dead with sweating; if I put on no jacket I shall

be roasted brown; but if I put on the captain's jacket I shall be

considered disrespectful."

The men in the boats tittered; and Mr Phillott, who was in the launch

next to us, turned round to see what was the matter; O'Brien was sitting

in the stern-sheets of the launch with the first lieutenant, and I

leaned over and told them.

"By the powers! I don't see why the captain's jacket will be at all hurt

by Mr Chucks putting it on," replied O'Brien; "unless, indeed, a bullet

were to go through it, and then it won't be any fault of Mr Chucks."

"No," replied the first lieutenant; "and if one did, the captain might

keep the jacket, and swear that the bullet went round his body without

wounding him. He'll have a good yarn to spin. So put it on, Mr Chucks;

you'll make a good mark for the enemy."

"That I will stand the risk of with pleasure," observed the boatswain to

me, "for the sake of being considered a gentleman. So here's on with

it."

There was a general laugh when Mr Chucks pulled on the captain's jacket,

and sank down in the stern-sheets of the cutter, with great complacency

of countenance. One of the men in the boat that we were in thought

proper, however, to continue his laugh a little longer than Mr Chucks

considered necessary, who, leaning forward, thus addressed him: "I say,

Mr Webber, I beg leave to observe to you, in the most delicate manner in

the world--just to hint to you--that it is not the custom to laugh at

your superior officer. I mean just to insinuate, that you are a d----d

impudent son of a sea cook; and if we both live and do well, I will

prove to you, that if I am to be laughed at in a boat with the captain's

jacket on, that I am not to be laughed at on board the frigate with the

boatswain's rattan in my fist; and so look out, my hearty, for squalls,

when you come on the forecastle; for I'll be d----d if I don't make you

see more stars than God Almighty ever made, and cut more capers than all

the dancing-masters in France. Mark my words, you burgoo-eating,

pea-soup-swilling, trowsers-scrubbing son of a bitch."

Mr Chucks, having at the end of this oration raised his voice above the

pitch required by the exigency of the service, was called to order by

the first lieutenant, and again sank back into the stern-sheets with all

the importance and authoritative show peculiarly appertaining to a pair

of epaulettes.

We waited behind the rocks until noonday, without being discovered by

the enemy; so well were we concealed. We had already sent an officer,

who, carefully hiding himself by lying down on the rocks, had several

times reconnoitred the enemy. Boats were passing and repassing

continually from the privateer to the shore; and it appeared that they

went on shore full of men, and returned with only one or two; so that we

were in great hopes that we should find but few men to defend the

vessel. Mr Phillott looked at his watch, held it up to O'Brien, to prove

that he had complied exactly with the orders he had received from the

captain, and then gave the word to get the boats under weigh. The

painters were cast off by the bowmen, the guns were loaded and primed,

the men seized their oars, and in two minutes we were clear of the

rocks, and drawn up in a line within a quarter of a mile from the

harbour's mouth, and not half a mile from the privateer brig. We rowed

as quickly as possible, but we did not cheer until the enemy fired the

first gun; which he did from a quarter unexpected, as we entered the

mouth of the harbour, with our union jack trailing in the water over our

stern, for it was a dead calm. It appeared, that at the low point under

the cliffs, at each side of the little bay, they had raised a water

battery of two guns each. One of these guns, laden with grape shot, was

now fired at the boats, but the elevation was too low, and although the

water was ploughed up to within five yards of the launch, no injury was

received. We were equally fortunate in the discharge of the other three

guns; two of which we passed so quickly, that they were not aimed

sufficiently forward, so that their shot fell astern; and the other,

although the shot fell among us, did no further injury than cutting in

half two of the oars of the first cutter.

In the meantime, we had observed that the boats had shoved off from the

privateer as soon as they had perceived us, and had returned to her

laden with men; the boats had been despatched a second time, but had not

yet returned. They were now about the same distance from the privateer

as were our boats, and it was quite undecided which of us would be first

on board. O'Brien perceiving this, painted out to Mr Phillott that we

should first attack the boats, and afterwards board on the side to which

they pulled; as, in all probability, there would be an opening left in

the boarding nettings, which were tied up to the yard-arms, and

presented a formidable obstacle to our success. Mr Phillott agreed with

O'Brien: he ordered the bowmen to lay in their oars and keep the guns

pointed ready to fire at the word given, and desiring the other men to

pull their best. Every nerve, every muscle was brought into play by our

anxious and intrepid seamen. When within about twenty yards of the

vessel, and also of the boats, the orders were given to fire--the

carronade of the launch poured out round and grape so well directed,

that one of the French boats sunk immediately; and the musket balls with

which our other smaller guns were loaded, did great execution among

their men. In one minute more, with three cheers from our sailors, we

were all alongside together, English and French boats pell-mell, and a

most determined close conflict took place. The French fought

desperately, and as they were overpowered, they were reinforced by those

from the privateer, who could not look on and behold their companions

requiring their assistance, without coming to their aid. Some jumped

down into our boats from the chains, into the midst of our men; others

darted cold shot at us, either to kill us or to sink our boats; and thus

did one of the most desperate hand-to-hand conflicts take place that

ever was witnessed. But it was soon decided in our favour, for we were

the stronger party and the better armed; and when all opposition was

over, we jumped into the privateer, and found not a man left on board,

only a large dog, who flew at O'Brien's throat as he entered the port.

"Don't kill him," said O'Brien, as the sailors hastened to his

assistance; "only take away his gripe."

The sailors disengaged the dog, and O'Brien led him up to a gun, saying,

"By Jasus, my boy, you are my prisoner."

But although we had possession of the privateer, our difficulties, as it

will prove, were by no means over. We were now exposed not only to the

fire of the two batteries at the harbour-mouth which we had to pass, but

also to that of the battery at the bottom of the bay, which had fired at

the frigate. In the meantime, we were very busy in cutting the cable,

lowering the topsails, and taking the wounded men on board the

privateer, from out of the boats. All this was, however, but the work of

a few minutes. Most of the Frenchmen were killed; our own wounded

amounted to only nine seamen and Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who was shot

through the body, apparently with little chance of surviving. As Mr

Phillott observed, the captain's epaulettes had made him a mark for the

enemy, and he had fallen in his borrowed plumes.

As soon as they were all on board, and laid on the deck--for there were,

as near as I can recollect, about fourteen wounded Frenchmen as well as

our own--tow-ropes were got out forwards, the boats were manned, and we

proceeded to tow the brig out of the harbour.

It was a dead calm, and we made but little way, but our boat's crew,

flushed with victory, cheered, and rallied, and pulled with all their

strength. The enemy perceiving that the privateer was taken, and the

French boats drifting empty up the harbour, now opened their fire upon

us, and with great effect. Before we had towed abreast of the two water

batteries, we had received three-shots between wind and water from the

other batteries, and the sea was pouring fast into the vessel. I had

been attending to poor Mr Chucks, who lay on the starboard side, near

the wheel, the blood flowing from his wound, and tracing its course down

the planks of the deck, to a distance of some feet from where he lay. He

appeared very faint, and I tied my handkerchief round his body, so as to

stop the effusion of blood, and brought him some water, with which I

bathed his face, and poured some into his mouth. He opened his eyes

wide, and looked at me.

"Ah, Mr Simple," said he, faintly, "is it you? It's all over with me;

but it could not be better--could it?"

"How do you mean?" inquired I.

"Why, have I not fallen dressed like an officer and a gentleman?" said

he, referring to the captain's jacket and epaulettes. "I'd sooner die

now with this dress on, than recover to put on the boatswain's uniform.

I feel quite happy."

He pressed my hand, and then closed his eyes again, from weakness. We

were now nearly abreast of the two batteries on the points, the guns of

which had been trained so as to bear upon our boats that were towing out

the brig. The first shot went through the bottom of the launch, and sank

her; fortunately, all the men were saved; but as she was the boat that

towed next to the brig, great delay occurred in getting the others clear

of her, and taking the brig again in tow. The shot now poured in thick,

and the grape became very annoying. Still our men gave way, cheering at

every shot fired, and we had nearly passed the batteries, with trifling

loss, when we perceived that the brig was so full of water that she

could not swim many minutes longer, and that it would be impossible to

tow her alongside of the frigate. Mr Phillott, under these

circumstances, decided that it would be useless to risk more lives, and

that the wounded should be taken out of the brig, and the boats should

pull away for the ship. He desired me to get the wounded men into the

cutter, which he sent alongside, and then to follow the other boats. I

made all the haste I could, not wishing to be left behind; and as soon

as all our wounded men were in the boats, I went to Mr Chucks, to remove

him. He appeared somewhat revived, but would not allow us to remove him.

"My dear Mr Simple," said he, "it is of no use; I never can recover it,

and I prefer dying here. I entreat you not to move me. If the enemy take

possession of the brig before she sinks, I shall be buried with military

honours; if they do not, I shall at least die in the dress of a

gentleman. Hasten away as fast as you can, before you lose more men.

Here I stay--that's decided."

I expostulated with him, but at that time two boats full of men

appeared, pulling out of the harbour to the brig. The enemy had

perceived that our boats had deserted her, and were coming to take

possession. I had therefore no time to urge Mr Chucks to change his

resolution, and not wishing to force a dying man, I shook his hand and

left him. It was with some difficulty I escaped, for the boats had come

up close to the brig; they chased me a little while, but the yawl and

the cutter turning back to my assistance, they gave up the pursuit. On

the whole, this was a very well arranged and well conducted expedition.

The only man lost was Mr Chucks, for the wounds of the others were none

of them mortal. Captain Kearney was quite satisfied with our conduct,

and so was the admiral, when it was reported to him. Captain Kearney did

indeed grumble a little about his jacket, and sent for me to inquire why

I had not taken it off Mr Chucks, and brought it on board. As I did not

choose to tell him the exact truth, I replied, "That I could not disturb

a dying man, and that the jacket was so saturated with blood, that he

never could have worn it again," which was the case.

"At all events, you might have brought away my epaulettes," replied he;

"but you youngsters think of nothing but gormandizing."

I had the first watch that night, when Swinburne, the quarter-master,

came up to me, and asked me all the particulars of the affair, for he

was not in the boats. "Well," said he, "that Mr Chucks appeared to be a

very good boatswain in his way, if he could only have kept his rattan a

little quiet. He was a smart fellow, and knew his duty. We had just such

another killed in our ship, in the action off Cape St Vincent."

"What! were you in that action?" replied I.

"Yes, I was, and belonged to the _Captain_, Lord Nelson's ship."

"Well, then, suppose you tell me all about it."

"Why, Mr Simple, d'ye see, I've no objection to spin you a yarn, now and

then," replied Swinburne, "but, as Mr Chucks used to say, allow me to

observe, in the most delicate manner in the world, that I perceive that

the man who has charge of your hammock, and slings you a clean one now

and then, has very often a good glass of grog for his _yarns_, and I do

not see but that mine are as well worth a glass of grog as his."

"So they are, Swinburne, and better too, and I promise you a good stiff

one to-morrow evening."

"That will do, sir: now then, I'll tell you all about it, and more about

it too than most can, for I know how the action was brought about."

I have the log, marked the board, and then sat down abaft on the signal

chest with Swinburne, who commenced his narrative as follows:--

"You must know, Mr Simple, that when the English fleet came down the

Mediterranean, after the 'vackyation of Corsica, they did not muster

more than seventeen sail of the line, while the Spanish fleet from

Ferrol and Carthagena had joined company at Cadiz, and 'mounted to near

thirty. Sir John Jervis had the command of our fleet at the time, but as

the Dons did not seem at all inclined to come out and have a brush with

us, almost two to one, Sir John left Sir Hyde Parker, with six sail of

the line, to watch the Spanish beggars, while he went in to Lisbon with

the remainder of the fleet, to water and refit. Now, you see, Mr Simple,

Portugal was at that time what they calls neutral, that is to say, she

didn't meddle at all in the affair, being friends with both parties, and

just as willing to supply fresh beef and water to the Spaniards as to

the English, if so be the Spaniards had come out to ax for it, which

they dar'n't. The Portuguese and the English have always been the best

of friends, because we can't get no port wine anywhere else, and they

can't get nobody else to buy it of them; so the Portuguese gave up their

arsenal at Lisbon, for the use of the English, and there we kept all our

stores, under the charge of that old dare-devil, Sir Isaac Coffin. Now

it so happened, that one of the clerks in old Sir Isaac's _office_, a

Portuguese chap, had been some time before that in the office of the

Spanish ambassador; he was a very smart sort of a chap, and sarved as

interpreter, and the old commissioner put great faith in him."

"But how did you learn all this, Swinburne?"

"Why, I'll tell you, Mr Simple. I steered the yawl as coxswain, and when

admirals and captains talk in the stern-sheets, they very often forget

that the coxswain is close behind them. I only learnt half of it that

way; the rest I put together when I compared logs with the admiral's

steward, who, of course, heard a great deal now and then. The first I

heard of it was when old Sir John called out to Sir Isaac, after the

second bottle, 'I say, Sir Isaac, who killed the Spanish messenger?'

'Not I, by God!' replied Sir Isaac; 'I only left him for dead;' and then

they both laughed, and so did Nelson, who was sitting with them. Well,

Mr Simple, it was reported to Sir Isaac that his clerk was often seen

taking memorandums of the different orders given to the fleet,

particularly those as to there being no wasteful expenditure of his

Majesty's stores. Upon which, Sir Isaac goes to the admiral, and

requests that the man might be discharged. Now, old Sir John was a sly

old fox, and he answered, 'Not so, commissioner; perhaps we may catch

them in their own trap.' So the admiral sits down, and calls for pen and

ink, and he flourishes out a long letter to the commissioner, stating

that all the stores of the fleet were expended, representing as how it

would be impossible to go to sea without a supply, and wishing to know

when the commissioner expected more transports from England. He also

said that if the Spanish fleet were now to come out from Cadiz, it would

be impossible for him to protect Sir H. Parker with his six sail of the

line, who was watching the Spanish fleet, as he could not quit the port

in his present condition. To this letter the commissioner answered that,

from the last accounts, he thought that in the course of six weeks or

two months they might receive supplies from England, but that sooner

than that was impossible. These letters were put in the way of the

d----d Portuguese spy-clerk, who copied them, and was seen that evening

to go into the house of the Spanish ambassador. Sir John then sent a

message to Ferro--that's a small town on the Portuguese coast to the

southward--with a despatch to Sir Hyde Parker, desiring him to run away

to Cape St Vincent, and decoy the Spanish fleet there, in case they

should come out after him. Well, Mr Simple, so far d'ye see the train

was well laid. The next thing to do was to watch the Spanish

ambassador's house, and see if he sent away any despatches. Two days

after the letters had been taken to him by this rascal of a clerk, the

Spanish ambassador sent away two messengers--one for Cadiz and the other

for Madrid, which is the town where the King of Spain lives. The one to

Cadiz was permitted to go, but the one to Madrid was stopped by the

directions of the admiral, and this job was confided to the

commissioner, Sir Isaac, who settled it somehow or another; and this was

the reason why the admiral called out to him, 'I say, Sir Isaac, who

killed the messenger?' They brought back his despatches, by which they

found out that advice had been sent to the Spanish admiral--I forget his

name, something like _Magazine_--informing him of the supposed crippled

state of our squadron. Sir John, taking it for granted that the

Spaniards would not lose an opportunity of taking six sail of the line--

more English ships than they have ever taken in their lives--waited a

few days to give them time, and then sailed from Lisbon for Cape St

Vincent, where he joined Sir Hyde Parker, and fell in with the Spaniards

sure enough, and a pretty drubbing we gave them. Now, it's not everybody

that could tell you all that, Mr Simple."

"Well, but now for the action, Swinburne."

"Lord bless you, Mr Simple! it's now past seven bells, and I can't fight

the battle of St Vincent in half an hour; besides which, it's well worth

another glass of grog to hear all about that battle."

"Well, you shall have one, Swinburne; only don't forget to tell it to

me."

Swinburne and I then separated, and in less than an hour afterwards I

was dreaming of despatches--Sir John Jervis--Sir Isaac Coffin--and

Spanish messengers.

Chapter XXXIV

O'Brien's good advice--Captain Kearney again deals in the marvellous.

I do not remember any circumstance in my life which, at that time, lay

so heavily on my mind as the loss of poor Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who,

of course, I took it for granted I should never see again. I believe

that the chief cause was that at the time I entered the service, and

every one considered me to be the fool of the family, Mr Chucks and

O'Brien were the only two who thought of and treated me differently; and

it was their conduct which induced me to apply myself and encouraged me

to exertion. I believe that many a boy, who, if properly patronized,

would turn out well, is, by the injudicious system of browbeating and

ridicule, forced into the wrong path, and, in his despair, throws away

all self-confidence, and allows himself to be carried away by the stream

to perdition. O'Brien was not very partial to reading himself. He played

the German flute remarkably well, and had a very good voice. His chief

amusement was practising, or rather playing, which is a very different

thing; but although he did not study himself, he always made me come

into his cabin for an hour or two every day, and, after I had read,

repeat to him the contents of the book. By this method he not only

instructed me, but gained a great deal of information himself; for he

made so many remarks upon what I had read, that it was impressed upon

both our memories.

"Well, Peter," he would say, as he came into the cabin, "what have you

to tell me this morning? Sure it's you that's the schoolmaster, and not

me--for I learn from you every day."

"I have not read much, O'Brien, to-day, for I have been thinking of poor

Mr Chucks."

"Very right for you so to do, Peter. Never forget your friends in a

hurry. You'll not find too many of them as you trot along the highway of

life."

"I wonder whether he is dead?"

"Why, that's a question I cannot answer. A bullet through the chest

don't lengthen a man's days, that's certain; but this I know, that he'll

not die if he can help it, now that he's got the captain's jacket on."

"Yes; he always aspired to be a gentleman, which was absurd enough in a

boatswain."

"Not at all absurd, Peter, but very absurd of you to talk without

thinking. When did any one of his shipmates ever know Mr Chucks to do an

unhandsome or mean action? Never; and why? Because he aspired to be a

gentleman, and that feeling kept him above it. Vanity's a confounded

donkey, very apt to put his head between his legs, and chuck us over;

but pride's a fine horse, who will carry us over the ground, and enable

us to distance our fellow-travellers. Mr Chucks has pride, and that's

always commendable, even in a boatswain. How often have you read of

people rising from nothing, and becoming great men? This was from

talent, sure enough; but it was talent with pride to force it onward,

not talent with vanity to check it."

"You are very right, O'Brien; I spoke foolishly."

"Never mind, Peter, nobody heard you but me; so it's of no consequence.

Don't you dine in the cabin to-day?"

"Yes."

"So do I. The captain is in a most marvellous humour this morning. He

told me one or two yarns that quite staggered my politeness and my

respect for him on the quarter-deck. What a pity it is that a man should

have gained such a bad habit!"

"He's quite incurable, I'm afraid," replied I; "but, certainly, his fibs

do no harm; they are what they call white lies. I do not think he would

really tell a lie--that is, a lie which would be considered to disgrace

a gentleman."

"Peter, _all_ lies disgrace a gentleman, white or black, although I

grant there is a difference. To say the least of it, it is a dangerous

habit; for white lies are but the gentlemen ushers to black ones. I know

but of one point on which a lie is excusable, and that is, when you wish

to deceive the enemy. Then your duty to your country warrants your lying

till you're black in the face; and, for the very reason that it goes

against your grain, it becomes, as it were, a sort of virtue."

"What was the difference between the marine officer and Mr Phillott that

occurred this morning?"

"Nothing at all in itself. The marine officer is a bit of a gaby, and

takes offence where none is meant. Mr Phillott has a foul tongue; but he

has a good heart."

"What a pity it is!"

"It is a pity, for he's a smart officer; but the fact is, Peter, that

junior officers are too apt to copy their superiors, and that makes it

very important that a young gentleman should sail with a captain who is

a gentleman. Now, Phillott served the best of his time with Captain

Ballover, who is notorious in the service for foul and abusive language.

What is the consequence? That Phillott and many others who have served

under him have learnt his bad habit."

"I should think, O'Brien, that the very circumstance of having had your

feelings so often wounded by such language when you were a junior

officer, would make you doubly careful not to make use of it to others,

when you had advanced in the service."

"Peter, that's just the _first_ feeling, which wears away after a time;

but at last, your own sense of indignation becomes blunted, and becoming

indifferent to it, you forget also that you wound the feelings of

others, and carry the habit with you, to the great injury and disgrace

of the service. But it's time to dress for dinner, so you'd better make

yourself scarce, Peter, while I tidivate myself off a little, according

to the rules and regulations of His Majesty's service, when you are

asked to dine with the skipper."

We met at the captain's table, where we found, as usual, a great display

of plate, but very little else, except the ship's allowance. We

certainly had now been cruising some time, and there was some excuse for

it; but still, few captains would have been so unprovided. "I'm afraid,

gentlemen, you will not have a very grand dinner," observed the captain,

as the steward removed the plated covers of the dishes; "but when on

service we must rough it out how we can. Mr O'Brien, pea-soup? I

recollect faring harder than this through one cruise in a flush vessel.

We were thirteen weeks up to our knees in water, and living the whole

time upon raw pork--not being able to light a fire during the cruise."

"Pray, Captain Kearney, may I ask where this happened?"

"To be sure. It was off Bermudas: we cruised for seven weeks before we

could find the Islands, and began verily to think that the Bermudas were

themselves on a cruise."

"I presume, sir, you were not so sorry to have a fire to cook your

provisions when you came to an anchor?" said O'Brien.

"I beg your pardon," replied Captain Kearney; "we had become so

accustomed to raw provisions and wet feet, that we could not eat our

meals cooked, or help dipping our legs over the side, for a long while

afterwards. I saw one of the boat-keepers astern catch a large

barracouta and eat it alive--indeed, if I had not given the strictest

orders, and flogged half-a-dozen of them, I doubt whether they would not

have eaten their victuals raw to this day. The force of habit is

tremendous."

"It is, indeed," observed Mr Phillott, drily, and winking to us,

referring to the captain's incredible stories.

"It is, indeed," repeated O'Brien; "we see the ditch in our neighbour's

eye, and cannot observe the log of wood in our own;" and O'Brien winked

at me, referring to Phillott's habit of bad language.

"I once knew a married man," observed the captain, "who had been always

accustomed to go to sleep with his hand upon his wife's head, and would

not allow her to wear a nightcap in consequence. Well, she caught cold

and died, and he never could sleep at night until he took a

clothes-brush to bed with him, and laid his hand upon that, which

answered the purpose--such was the force of habit."

"I once saw a dead body galvanized," observed Mr Phillott: "it was the

body of a man who had taken a great deal of snuff during his lifetime,

and as soon as the battery was applied to his spine, the body very

gently raised its arm, and put its fingers to its nose, as if it was

taking a pinch."

"You saw that yourself, Mr Phillott?" observed the captain, looking at

the first lieutenant earnestly in the face.

"Yes, sir," replied Mr Phillott, coolly.

"Have you told that story often?"

"Very often, sir."

"Because I know that some people, by constantly telling a story, at last

believe it to be true; not that I refer to you, Mr Phillott; but still,

I should recommend you not to tell that story where you are not well

known, or people may doubt your credibility."

"I make it a rule to believe everything myself," observed Mr Phillott,

"out of politeness, and I expect the same courtesy from others."

"Then, upon my soul! when you tell that story, you trespass very much

upon our good manners. Talking of courtesy, you must meet a friend of

mine, who has been a courtier all his life; he cannot help bowing, I

have seen him bow to his horse and thank him after he had dismounted--

beg pardon of a puppy for treading on his tail; and one day, when he

fell over a scraper, he took his hat off, and made it a thousand

apologies for his inattention."

"Force of habit again," said O'Brien.

"Exactly so. Mr Simple, will you take a slice of this pork? and perhaps

you'll do me the honour to take a glass of wine? Lord Privilege would

not much admire our dinner to-day, would he, Mr Simple?"

"As a variety he might, sir, but not for a continuance."

"Very truly said. Variety is charming. The negroes here get so tired of

salt fish and occra broth, that they eat dirt by way of a relish. Mr

O'Brien, how remarkably well you played that sonata of Pleydel's this

morning."

"I am happy that I did not annoy you, Captain Kearney, at all events,"

replied O'Brien.

"On the contrary, I am very partial to good music. My mother was a great

performer. I recollect once, she was performing a piece on the piano in

which she had to imitate a _thunderstorm_. So admirably did she hit it

off, that when we went to tea all the cream was _turned sour_, as well

as three casks of _beer_ in the cellar."

At this assertion Mr Phillott could contain himself no longer; he burst

out into a loud laugh, and having a glass of wine to his lips, spattered

it all over the table, and over me, who unfortunately was opposite to

him.

"I really beg pardon, Captain Kearney, but the idea of such an expensive

talent was too amusing. Will you permit me to ask you a question? As

there could not have been thunder without lightning, were any people

killed at the same time by the electric fluid of the piano?"

"No sir," replied Captain Kearney, very angrily; "but her performance

_electrified_ us, which was something like it. Perhaps, Mr Phillott, as

you lost your last glass of wine, you will allow me to take another with

you?"

"With great pleasure," replied the first lieutenant, who perceived that

he had gone far enough.

"Well, gentlemen," said the captain, "we shall soon be in the land of

plenty. I shall cruise a fortnight more, and then join the admiral at

Jamaica. We must make out our despatch relative to the cutting out of

the _Sylvia_ (that was the name of the privateer brig), and I am happy

to say that I shall feel it my duty to make honourable mention of all

the party present. Steward, coffee."

The first lieutenant, O'Brien, and I, bowed to this flattering avowal on

the part of the captain; as for me, I felt delighted. The idea of my

name being mentioned in the "Gazette," and the pleasure that it would

give to my father and mother, mantled the blood in my cheeks till I was

as red as a turkey-cock.

"_Cousin_ Simple," said the captain, good-naturedly, "you have no

occasion to blush; your conduct deserves it; and you are indebted to Mr

Phillott for having made me acquainted with your gallantry."

Coffee was soon over, and I was glad to leave the cabin, and be alone,

that I might compose my perturbed mind. I felt too happy. I did not,

however, say a word to my messmates, as it might have created feelings

of envy or ill-will. O'Brien gave me a caution not to do so, when I met

him afterwards, so that I was very glad that I had been so circumspect.

Chapter XXXV

Swinburne continues his narrative of the battle off Cape St Vincent.

The second night after this, we had the middle watch, and I claimed

Swinburne's promise that he would spin his yarn, relative to the battle

of St Vincent. "Well, Mr Simple, so I will; but I require a little

priming, or I shall never go off."

"Will you have your glass of grog before or after?"

"Before, by all means, if you please, sir. Run down and get it, and I'll

heave the log for you in the meantime, when we shall have a good hour

without interruption, for the sea-breeze will be steady, and we are

under easy sail." I brought up a stiff glass of grog, which Swinburne

tossed off, and as he finished it, sighed deeply as if in sorrow that

there was no more. Having stowed away the tumbler in one of the capstern

holes for the present, we sat down upon a coil of ropes under the

weather bulwarks, and Swinburne, replacing his quid of tobacco,

commenced as follows--

"Well, Mr Simple, as I told you before, old Jervis started with all his

fleet for Cape St Vincent. We lost one of our fleet--and a three-decker

too--the _St George_; she took the ground, and was obliged to go back to

Lisbon; but we soon afterwards were joined by five sail of the line,

sent out from England, so that we mustered fifteen sail in all. We had

like to lose another of our mess, for d'ye see, the old _Culloden_ and

_Colossus_ fell foul of each other, and the _Culloden_ had the worst on

it; but Troubridge, who commanded her, was not a man to shy his work,

and ax to go in to refit, when there was a chance of meeting the enemy--

so he patched her up somehow or another, and reported himself ready for

action the very next day. Ready for action he always was, that's sure

enough, but whether his ship was in a fit state to go into action is

quite another thing. But as the sailors used to say in joking, he was a

_true bridge_, and you might trust to him; which meant as much as to

say, that he knew how to take his ship into action, and how to fight her

when he was fairly in it. I think it was the next day that Cockburn

joined us in the _Minerve_, and he brought Nelson along with him with

the intelligence that the Dons had chased him, and that the whole

Spanish fleet was out in pursuit of us. Well, Mr Simple, you may guess

we were not a little happy in the _Captain_, when Nelson joined us, as

we knew that if he fell in with the Spaniards our ship would cut a

figure--and so she did sure enough. That was on the morning of the 13th,

and old Jervis made the signal to prepare for action, and keep close

order, which means, to have your flying jib-boom in at the starn windows

of the ship ahead of you; and we did keep close order, for a man might

have walked right round from one ship to the other, either lee or

weather line of the fleet. I sha'n't forget that night, Mr Simple, as

long as I live and breathe. Every now and then we heard the signal guns

of the Spanish fleet booming at a distance to windward of us, and you

may guess how our hearts leaped at the sound, and how we watched with

all our ears for the next gun that was fired, trying to make out their

bearings and distance, as we assembled in little knots upon the booms

and weather-gangway. It was my middle watch, and I was signalman at the

time, so of course I had no time to take a caulk if I was inclined. When

my watch was over I could not go down to my hammock, so I kept the

morning watch too, as did most of the men on board: as for Nelson, he

walked the deck the whole night, quite in a fever. At daylight it was

thick and hazy weather, and we could not make them out; but, about five

bells, the old _Culloden_, who, if she had broke her nose, had not lost

the use of her eyes, made the signal for a part of the Spanish fleet in

sight. Old Jervis repeated the signal to prepare for action, but he

might have saved the wear and tear of the bunting, for we were all

ready, bulk-heads down, screens up, guns shotted, tackles rove, yards

slung, powder filled, shot on deck, and fire out--and what's more, Mr

Simple, I'll be d----d if we weren't all willing too. About six bells

in the forenoon, the fog and haze all cleared away at once, just like

the raising of the foresail that they lower down at the Portsmouth

theatre, and discovered the whole of the Spanish fleet. I counted them

all. 'How many, Swinburne?' cries Nelson. 'Twenty-six sail, sir,'

answered I. Nelson walked the quarter-deck backwards and forwards,

rubbing his hands, and laughing to himself, and then he called for his

glass, and went to the gangway with Captain Miller. 'Swinburne, keep a

good look upon the admiral,' says he. 'Ay, ay, sir,' says I. Now you

see, Mr Simple, twenty-six sail against fifteen were great odds upon

paper; but we didn't think so, because we know'd the difference between

the two fleets. There was our fifteen sail of the line, all in apple-pie

order, packed up as close as dominoes, and every man on board of them

longing to come to the scratch; while there was their twenty-six, all

_somehow nohow_, two lines here and _no lines_ there, with a great gap

of water in the middle of them. For this gap between their ships we all

steered, with all the sail we could carry because, d'ye see, Mr Simple,

by getting them on both sides of us, we had the advantage of fighting

both broadsides, which is just as easy as fighting one, and makes

shorter work of it. Just as it struck seven bells, Troubridge opened the

ball _setting_ to half a dozen of the Spaniards, and making them _reel_

'Tom Collins' whether or no. Bang--bang--bang, bang! Oh, Mr Simple, it's

a beautiful sight to see the first guns fired that are to bring on a

general action. He's the luckiest dog, that Troubridge,' said Nelson,

stamping with impatience. Our ships were soon hard at it, hammer and

tongs (my eyes, how they did pelt it in!), and old Sir John, in the

_Victory_, smashed the cabin windows of the Spanish admiral, with such a

hell of a raking broadside, that the fellow bore up as if the devil

kicked him. Lord a mercy, you might have drove a Portsmouth waggon into

his starn--the broadside of the _Victory_ had made room enough. However,

they were soon all smothered up in smoke, and we could not make out how

things were going on--but we made a pretty good guess. Well, Mr Simple,

as they say at the play, that was act the first, scene the first; and

now we had to make our appearance, and I'll leave you to judge, after

I've told my tale, whether the old _Captain_ wasn't principal performer,

and _top sawyer_ over them all. But stop a moment, I'll just look at the

binnacle, for that young topman's nodding at the wheel.--I say, Mr

Smith, are you shutting your eyes to keep them warm, and letting the

ship run half a point out of her course? Take care I don't send for

another helmsman, that's all, and give the reason why. You'll make a wry

face upon six-water grog to-morrow, at seven bells. D----n your eyes,

keep them open--can't you?"

Swinburne, after this genteel admonition to the man at the wheel,

reseated himself and continued his narrative.

"All this while, Mr Simple, we in the _Captain_ had not fired a gun; but

were ranging up as fast as we could to where the enemy lay in a heap.

There were plenty to pick and choose from; and Nelson looked out sharp

for a big one, as little boys do when they have to choose an apple; and,

by the piper that played before Moses! it was a big one that he ordered

the master to put him alongside of. She was a four-decker, called the

_Santissima Trinidad_. We had to pass some whoppers, which would have

satisfied any reasonable man; for there was the _San Josef_, and

_Salvador del Mondo_ and _San Nicolas_: but nothing would suit Nelson

but this four-decked ship; so we crossed the hawse of about six of them,

and as soon as we were abreast of her, and at the word 'Fire!' every gun

went off at once, slap into her, and the old _Captain_ reeled at the

discharge, as if she was drunk. I wish you'd only seen how we pitched it

into this _Holy Trinity_; she was _holy_ enough before we had done with

her, riddled like a sieve, several of her ports knocked into one, and

every scupper of her running blood and water. Not but what she stood to

it as bold as brass, and gave us nearly gun for gun, and made a very

pretty general average in our ship's company. Many of the old captains

went to kingdom-come in that business, and many more were obliged to

bear up for Greenwich Hospital.

"'Fire away, my lads--steady aim!' cries Nelson. 'Jump down there, Mr

Thomas; pass the word to reduce the cartridges, the shot go clean

through her. Double shot the guns there, fore and aft.'

"So we were at it for about half an hour, when our guns became so hot

from quick firing, that they bounced up to the beams overhead, tearing

away their ringbolts, and snapping their breechings like rope-yarns. By

this time we were almost as much unrigged as if we had been two days

paying off in Portsmouth harbour. The four-decker forged ahead, and

Troubridge, in the jolly old _Culloden_, came between us and two other

Spanish ships, who were playing into us. She was as fresh as a daisy,

and gave them a dose which quite astonished them. They shook their ears,

and fell astern, when the _Blenheim_ laid hold of them, and mauled them

so that they went astern again. But it was out of the frying-pan into,

the fire: for the _Orion, Prince George_, and one or two others, were

coming up, and knocked the very guts out of them. I'll be d----d if

they forget the 14th of April, and sarve them right, too. Wasn't a

four-decker enough for any two-decker, without any more coming on us?

and couldn't the beggars have matched themselves like gentlemen? Well,

Mr Simple, this gave us a minute or two to fetch, our breath, let the

guns cool, and repair damages, and swab the blood from the decks; but we

lost our four-decker, for we could not get near her again."

"What odd names the Spaniards give to their ships, Swinburne?"

"Why yes, they do; it would almost appear wicked to belabour the _Holy

Trinity_ as we did. But why they should call a four-decked ship the

_Holy Trinity_, seeing as how there's only three of them, Father, Son,

and Holy Ghost, I can't tell. Bill Saunders said that the fourth deck

was for the Pope, who was as great a personage as the others; but I

can't understand how that can be. Well, Mr Simple, as I was head

signalman, I was perched on the poop, and didn't serve at a gun. I had

to report all I could see, which was not much, the smoke was so thick;

but now and then I could get a peep, as it were through the holes in the

blanket. Of course I was obliged to keep my eye as much as possible upon

the admiral, not to make out his signals, for Commodore Nelson wouldn't

thank me for that; I knew he hated a signal when in action, so I never

took no notice of the bunting, but just watched to see what he was

about. So while we are repairing damages, I'll just tell you what I saw

of the rest of the fleet. As soon as old Jervis had done for the Spanish

admiral, he hauled his wind on the larboard tack, and followed by four

or five other ships, weathered the Spanish line, and joined Collingwood

in the _Excellent_. Then they all dashed through the line; the

_Excellent_ was the leading ship, and she first took the shine out of

the _Salvador del Mondo_, and then left her to be picked up by the other

ships, while she attacked a two-decker, who hauled down her colours--I

forget her name just now. As soon as the _Victory_ ran alongside of the

_Salvador del Mondo_, down went her colours, and _excellent_ reasons had

she for striking her flag. And now, Mr Simple. The old _Captain_ comes

into play again. Having parted company with the four-decker, we had

recommenced action with the _San Nicolas_, a Spanish eighty, and while

we were hard at it, old Collingwood comes up in the _Excellent_. The

_San Nicolas_, knowing that the _Excellent's_ broadside would send her

to old Nick, put her helm up to avoid being raked: in so doing, she fell

foul of the _San Josef_, a Spanish three-decker, and we being all cut to

pieces and unmanageable--all of us indeed reeling about like drunken

men--Nelson ordered his helm a-starboard, and in a jiffy there we were,

all three hugging each other, running in one another's guns, smashing

our chain-plates, and poking our yard-arms through each other's canvas.

"'All hands to board!' roared Nelson, leaping on the hammocks and waving

his sword.

"'Hurrah! hurrah!' echoed through the decks, and up flew the men, like

as many angry bees out of a bee-hive. In a moment pikes, tomahawks,

cutlasses, and pistols were seized (for it was quite unexpected, Mr

Simple), and our men poured into the eighty-gun ship, and in two minutes

the decks were cleared and all the Dons pitched below. I joined the

boarders and was on the main deck when Captain Miller came down, and

cried out 'On deck again immediately.' Up we went, and what do you think

it was for, Mr Simple? Why to board a second time; for Nelson having

taken the two-decker, swore that he'd have the three-decker as well. So

away we went again, clambering up her lofty sides how we could, and

dropping down on her decks like hailstones. We all made for the

quarter-deck, beat down every Spanish beggar that showed fight, and in

five minutes more we had hauled down the colours of two of the finest

ships in the Spanish navy. If that wasn't taking the shine out of the

Dons, I should like to know what is. And didn't the old captains cheer

and shake hands, as Commodore Nelson stood on the deck of the _San

Josef_, and received the swords of the Spanish officers! There was

enough of them to go right round the capstern, and plenty to spare. Now,

Mr Simple, what do you think of that for a spree?"

"Why, Swinburne, I can only say that I wish I had been there."

"So did every man in the fleet, Mr Simple, I can tell you."

"But what became of the _Santissima Trinidad_?

"Upon my word, she behaved one _deck_ better than all the others. She

held out against four of our ships for a long while, and then hauled

down her colours, and no disgrace to her, considering what a precious

hammering she had taken first. But the lee division of the Spanish

weather fleet, if I may so call it, consisting of eleven sail of the

line, came up to her assistance, and surrounded her, so that they got

her off. Our ships were too much cut up to commence a new action, and

the admiral made the signal to secure the prizes. The Spanish fleet then

did what they should have done before--got into line; and we lost no

time in doing the same. But we both had had fighting enough."

"But do you think, Swinburne, that the Spaniards fought well?"

"They'd have fought better, if they'd only have known how. There's no

want of courage in the Dons, Mr Simple, but they did not support each

other. Only observe how Troubridge supported us. By God, Mr Simple, he

was the _real fellow_, and Nelson knew it well. He was Nelson's

right-hand man; but you know, there wasn't room for _two_ Nelsons. Their

ships engaged held out well, it must be acknowledged, but why weren't

they all in their proper berths? Had they kept close order of sailing,

and had all fought as well as those who were captured, it would not have

been a very easy matter for fifteen ships to gain a victory over

twenty-six. That's long odds, even when backed with British seamen."

"Well, how did you separate?"

"Why, the next morning the Spaniards had the weathergage, so they had

the option whether to fight or not. At one time they had half a mind,

for they bore down to us; upon which we hauled our wind to show them we

were all ready to meet them, and then they thought better of it, and

rounded-to again. So as they wouldn't fight, and we didn't wish it, we

parted company in the night; and two days afterwards we anchored, with

our four prizes, in Lagos Bay. So now you have the whole of it, Mr

Simple, and I've talked till I'm quite hoarse. You haven't by chance

another drop of the stuff left to clear my throat? It would be quite a

charity."

"I think I have, Swinburne; and as you deserve it, I will go and fetch

it."

Chapter XXXVI

A letter from Father M'Grath, who diplomatizes--When priest meets

priest, then comes the tug of war--Father O'Toole not to be made a tool

of.

We continued our cruise for a fortnight, and then made sail for Jamaica,

where we found the admiral at anchor at Port Royal, but our signal was

made to keep under weigh, and Captain Kearney, having paid his respects

to the admiral, received orders to carry despatches to Halifax. Water

and provisions were sent on board by the boats of the admiral's ships,

and, to our great disappointment, as the evening closed in, we were

again standing out to sea, instead of, as we had anticipated, enjoying

ourselves on shore; but the fact was, that orders had arrived from

England to send a frigate immediately up to the admiral at Halifax, to

be at his disposal.

I had, however, the satisfaction to know that Captain Kearney had been

true to his word in making mention of my name in the despatch, for the

clerk showed me a copy of it. Nothing occurred worth mentioning during

our passage, except that Captain Kearney was very unwell nearly the

whole of the time, and seldom quitted his cabin. It was in October that

we anchored in Halifax harbour, and the Admiralty, expecting our arrival

there, had forwarded our letters. There were none for me, but there was

one for O'Brien, from Father M'Grath, the contents of which were as

follows:--

"MY DEAR SON,--And a good son you are, and that's the truth on it, or

devil a bit should you be a son of mine. You've made your family quite

contented and peaceable, and they never fight for the _praties_ now--

good reason why they shouldn't, seeing that there's a plenty for all of

them, and the pig craturs into the bargain. Your father and your mother,

and your brother, and your three sisters, send their duty to you, and

their blessings too--and you may add my blessing, Terence, which is

worth them all; for won't I get you out of purgatory in the twinkling of

a bed-post? Make yourself quite aisy on that score, and lave it all to

me; only just say a _pater_ now and then, that when St Peter lets you

in, he mayn't throw it in your teeth, that you've saved your soul by

contract, which is the only way by which emperors and kings ever get to

heaven. Your letter from Plymouth came safe to hand: Barney, the

post-boy, having dropped it under foot, close to our door, the big pig

took it into his mouth and ran away with it; but I caught sight of him,

and _speaking_ to him, he let it go, knowing (the 'cute cratur!) that I

could read it better than him. As soon as I had digested the contents,

which it was lucky the pig did not instead of me, I just took my meal

and my big stick, and then set off for Ballycleuch.

"Now you know, Terence, if you haven't forgot--and if you have, I'll

just remind you--that there's a flaunty sort of young woman at the

poteen shop there, who calls herself Mrs O'Rourke, wife to a Corporal

O'Rourke, who was kilt or died one day, I don't know which, but that's

not of much consequence. The devil a bit do I think the priest ever gave

the marriage-blessing to that same; although she swears that she was

married on the rock of Gibraltar--it may be a strong rock fore I know,

but it's not the rock of salvation like the seven sacraments, of which

marriage is one. _Benedicite_! Mrs O'Rourke is a little too apt to fleer

and jeer at the priests; and if it were not that she softens down her

pertinent remarks with a glass or two of the real poteen, which proves

some respect for the church, I'd excommunicate her body and soul, and

every body and every soul that put their lips to the cratur at her door.

But she must leave that off, as I tell her, when she gets old and ugly,

for then all the whisky in the world sha'n't save her. But she's a fine

woman now, and it goes agin my conscience to help the devil to a fine

woman. Now this Mrs O'Rourke knows everybody and everything that's going

on in the country about; and she has a tongue which has never had a

holiday since it was let loose.

"'Good morning to ye, Mrs O'Rourke,' says I.

"'An' the top of the morning to you, Father M'Grath,' says she, with a

smile; 'what brings you here? Is it a journey that you're taking to buy

the true wood of the cross? or is it a purty girl that you wish to

confess, Father M'Grath? or is it only that you're come for a drop of

poteen, and a little bit of chat with Mrs O'Rourke?'

"'Sure it's I who'd be glad to find the same true wood of the cross, Mrs

O'Rourke, but it's not grown, I suspect, at your town of Ballycleuch;

and it's no objection I'd have to confess a purty girl like yourself,

Mrs O'Rourke, who'll only tell me half her sins, and give me no trouble;

but it's the truth, that I'm here for nothing else but to have a bit of

chat with yourself, dainty dear, and taste your poteen, just by way of

keeping my mouth nate and clane.'

"So Mrs O'Rourke poured out the real stuff, which I drank to her health;

and then says I, putting down the bit of a glass, 'So you've a stranger

come, I find, in your parts, Mrs O'Rourke.'

"'I've heard the same,' replied she. So you observe, Terence, I came to

the fact all at once by a guess.

"'I am tould,' says I, 'that he's a Scotchman, and spakes what nobody

can understand.'

"'Devil a bit,' says she, 'he's an Englishman, and speaks plain enough.'

"'But what can a man mane, to come here and sit down all alone?' says I.

"'All alone, Father M'Grath!' replied she; 'is a man all alone when he's

got his wife and childer, and more coming, with the blessing of God?'

"'But those boys are not his own childer, I believe,' says I.

"'There again you're all in a mistake, Father M'Grath,' rejoins she.

'The childer are all his own, and all girls to boot. It appears that

it's just as well that you come down, now and then, for information, to

our town of Ballycleuch.'

"'Very true, Mrs O'Rourke,' says I; 'and who is it that knows everything

so well as yourself?' You observe, Terence, that I just said everything

contrary and _arce versa_, as they call it, to the contents of your

letter; for always recollect, my son, that if you would worm a secret

out of a woman, you'll do more by contradiction than you ever will by

coaxing--so I went on: 'Anyhow, I think it's a burning shame, Mrs

O'Rourke, for a gentleman to bring over with him here from England a

parcel of lazy English servants, when there's so many nice boys and

girls here to attind upon them.'

"'Now there you're all wrong again, Father M'Grath,' says she. 'Devil a

soul has he brought from the other country, but has hired them all here.

Arn't there Ella Flanagan for one maid, and Terence Driscol for a

footman? and it's well that he looks in his new uniform, when he comes

down for the newspapers; and arn't Moggy Cala there to cook the dinner,

and pretty Mary Sullivan for a nurse for the babby as soon as it comes

into the world?'

"'Is it Mary Sullivan you mane?' says I; 'she that was married about

three months back, and is so quick in child-getting, that she's all but

ready to fall to pieces in this same time?'

"'It's exactly she,' says Mrs O'Rourke; 'and do you know the reason?'

"'Devil a bit,' says I; 'how should I?'

"'Then it's just that she may send her own child away, and give her milk

to the English babby that's coming; because the lady is too much of a

lady to have a child hanging to her breast.'

"'But suppose Mary Sullivan's child ar'n't born till afterwards, how

then?" says I. 'Speak, Mrs O'Rourke, for you're a sensible woman.'

"'How then?' says she. 'Och! that's all arranged; for Mary says that

she'll be in bed a week before the lady, so that's all right, you'll

perceive, Father M'Grath.'

"'But don't you perceive, sensible woman as you are, that a young woman,

who is so much out of her reckoning as to have a child three months

after her marriage, may make a little mistake in her lying-in

arithmetic, Mrs O'Rourke.'

"'Never fear, Father M'Grath, Mary Sullivan will keep her word; and

sooner than disappoint the lady, and lose her place, she'll just tumble

down-stairs, and won't that put her to bed fast enough?'

"'Well, that's what I call a faithful good servant that earns her

wages,' says I; 'so now I'll just take another glass, Mrs O'Rourke, and

thank you too. Sure you're the woman that knows everything, and a mighty

pretty woman into the bargain.'

"'Let me alone now, Father M'Grath, and don't be pinching me that way,

anyhow.'

"'It was only a big flea that I perceived hopping on your gown, my

darling, devil anything else.'

"'Many thanks to you, father, for that same; but the next time you'd

kill my fleas, just wait until they're in a _more dacent_ situation.'

"'Fleas are fleas, Mrs O'Rourke, and we must catch 'em when we can, and

how we can, and as we can, so no offence. A good night's rest to you,

Mrs O'Rourke--when do you mean to confess?'

"'I've an idea that I've too many fleas about me to confess to you just

now, Father M'Grath, and that's the truth on it. So a pleasant walk back

to you.'

"So you'll perceive, my son, that having got all the information from

Mrs O'Rourke, it's back I went to Ballyhinch, till I heard it whispered

that there were doings down at the old house at Ballycleuch. Off I set,

and went to the house itself, as priests always ought to be welcomed at

births, and marriages, and deaths, being, as you know, of great use on

such occasions--when who should open the door but Father O'Toole, the

biggest rapparee of a priest in the whole of Ireland. Didn't he steal a

horse, and only save his neck by benefit of clergy? and did he ever give

absolution to a young woman without making her sin over again? 'What may

be your pleasure here, Father M'Grath?' says he, holding the door with

his hand.

"'Only just to call and hear what's going on.'

"'For the matter of that,' says he, 'I'll just tell you that we're all

going on very well; but ar'n't you ashamed of yourself, Father M'Grath,

to come here to interfere with my flock, knowing that I confess the

house altogether?'

"'That's as may be,' says I; 'but I only wanted to know what the lady

had brought into the world.'

"'It's a _child_' says he.

"'Indeed!' says I; 'many thanks for the information; and pray what is it

that Mary Sullivan has brought into the world?'

"'That's a _child_ too,' says he; 'and now that you know all about it,

good evening to you, Father M'Grath.' And the ugly brute slammed the

door right in my face.

"'Who stole a horse?' cries I; but he didn't hear me--more's the pity.

"So you'll perceive, my dear boy, that I have found out something, at

all events, but not so much as I intended; for I'll prove to Father

O'Toole that he's no match for Father M'Grath. But what I find out must

be reserved for another letter, seeing that it's not possible to tell it

to you in this same. Praties look well, but somehow or another,

_clothes_ don't grow upon trees in ould Ireland; and one of your

half-quarterly bills, or a little prize-money, if it found its way here,

would add not a little to the respectability of the family appearance.

Even my cassock is becoming too _holy_ for a parish priest; not that I

care about it so much, only Father O'Toole, the baste! had on a bran new

one--not that I believe that he ever came honestly by it, as I have by

mine--but, get it how you may, a new gown always looks better than an

old one, that's certain. So no more at present from your loving friend

and confessor,

"URTAGH M'GRATH."