DR. BODIE (_charmingly_). Thank you. And, my dear, don’t be always
Doctor Bodieing me. That, of course, at the Home, and on duty, but
here in my house you are my guest. I am Miss Bodie to you here.
Don’t let me forget that I am a woman. I assure you I value that
privilege. (_She lingers over Cinderella’s pillow._) Dear, you
must invite Nurse and Danny to tea with you, and all be happy
together. Little Cinderella, if I will do as a substitute, you
haven’t altogether lost your Godmother.
(_She goes, shaking a reproving finger at_ DANNY.)
DANNY. We’re done again!
PROBATIONER (_reduced to tears_). Horrid little toad that I’ve
been. Some one take me out and shoot me.
(_The_ MAID _comes with tea things_.)
DANNY. Allow me, maiden.
ELLEN. Dr. Bodie says I’m to bring two more cups.
DANNY (_whose manner is always that of one who, bathroom or no
bathroom, feels he is a general favourite_). If you please, child.
PROBATIONER (_as soon as_ ELLEN _has gone_). Dr. Bodie is an angel.
DANNY (_quite surprised that he has not thought of this before_).
That’s what she is!
CINDERELLA. Danny, can’t you say something comforting to poor
Nurse.
DANNY (_manfully_). I’m thankful to say I can. Nurse, I’ve often
had fits of remorse; and I can assure you that they soon pass away,
leaving not a mark behind.
PROBATIONER. Dear Dr. Bodie!
DANNY. Exactly. You’ve taken the words out of my mouth. The only
thing for us to think of henceforth is what to do to please her.
Her last words to us were to draw up to the tea-table. Are we to
disregard the last words of that sublime female?
PROBATIONER (_recovering_). No!
(_The extra cups having been brought, the company of three
settle down to their war-time tea-party, the tray being on_
CINDERELLA’S _lap and a guest on each side of the bed_.)
DANNY. Our plain duty is now to attack the victuals so as to become
strong in that Wonder’s service. Here’s to dear Dr. Bodie, and may
she find plenty to do elsewhere till this party is over.
PROBATIONER (_able to toss her head again_). After all, she put us
in a false position.
DANNY. That’s true. Down with her!
PROBATIONER. I drink to you, Danny.
DANNY (_gallantly_). And I reply with mine.
CINDERELLA. It’s queer to think I’m being—what’s the word?—hostess.
DANNY. All things are queer ever since the dull old days before the
war; and not the unqueerest is that Daniel Duggan, once a plumber,
is now partaking of currant cake with the Lady Charlotte something!
CINDERELLA (_nearly letting her cup fall_). What?
PROBATIONER. You weren’t supposed to know that.
CINDERELLA. Does he mean you? Are you—?
PROBATIONER. It’s nothing to make a fuss about, Cinderella. How did
you find out, Danny?
DANNY. Excuse me, but your haughty manner of wringing out a
dishcloth betrayed you? My war-worn eyes, of various hues, have had
the honour of seeing the Lady Charlotte washing the ward floor. O
memorable day! O glorified floor! O blushing dishcloth!
PROBATIONER. That was just a beginning. Some day I hope when I rise
in the profession to be allowed to wash you, Danny.
DANNY (_bowing grandly_). The pleasure, my lady, will be mutual.
(_He hums a tune of the moment._)
‘And when I tell them that some day washed by her I’ll be—they’ll
never believe me’—
PROBATIONER (_with abandon_). ‘But when I tell them ’twas a jolly
good thing for me—they’ll all believe me!’
DANNY. And when I tell them—and I certainly mean to tell them—that
one day she’ll walk out with me—
(_In a spirit of devilry he crooks his arm; she takes it—she
walks out with him for a moment._)
PROBATIONER (_coming to_). No. 7, what are we doing!
CINDERELLA. It’s just the war has mixed things up till we forget
how different we are.
PROBATIONER (_with a moment of intuition_). Or it has straightened
things out so that we know how like we are.
(_From the garden comes the sound of a gramophone._)
CINDERELLA. David’s a long time in coming.
DANNY. The four-twenty’s not in yet.
CINDERELLA. Yes, it is; I heard the whistle.
DANNY (_sarcastically_). Would you like me to see if he hasn’t lost
his way? Those policemen are stupid fellows.
CINDERELLA. None of that, Danny; but I would like fine if you take
a look.
DANNY. Anything to oblige you, though it brings our social to a
close. None of these little tea-parties after the war is over, fine
lady!
PROBATIONER. Oh dear! I’ll often enjoy myself less, Danny.
DANNY. Daniel Duggan will sometimes think of this day when you are
in your presentation gown and he is on your roof, looking for that
there leakage.
PROBATIONER. Oh, Danny, don’t tell me that when I meet you with
your bag of tools I’ll be a beast. Surely there will be at least a
smile of friendship between us in memory of the old days.
DANNY. I wonder! That’s up to you, my lady. (_But he will be wiser
if he arranges that it is to be up to himself._)
PROBATIONER (_calling attention to the music_). Listen! No.
7—to-day is ours.
(_She impulsively offers herself for the waltz; they dance
together._)
DANNY (_when all is over_). Thank you, my lady.
(_She curtseys and he goes out rather finely. It is not
likely that her next partner will be equal to her plumber.
The two girls are left alone, both nice girls of about the
same age; but the poor one has already lived so long that
the other, though there may be decades before her, will
never make up on_ CINDERELLA. _It would be grand to see
this waif, the moment after death, setting off stoutly on
the next adventure._)
CINDERELLA. He is a droll character, Danny! (_Examining herself in
a hand-mirror._) Nurse, would you say my hair is looking right? He
likes the cap.
PROBATIONER (_who will soon forget her, but is under the spell at
present_). Your David?
CINDERELLA (_on her dignity_). He’s not mine, Nurse.
PROBATIONER. Isn’t he?
CINDERELLA. Hey, hey, hey! Nurse, when he comes you don’t need to
stay very long.
PROBATIONER (_in the conspiracy_). I won’t.
CINDERELLA (_casually_). He might have things to say to me, you see.
PROBATIONER. Yes, he might.
CINDERELLA (_solemnly_). You and me are both very young, but maybe
you understand about men better than I do. You’ve seen him, and
this is terrible important. Swear by Almighty God you’re to tell me
the truth. Would you say that man loves little children?
PROBATIONER (_touched_). Don’t frighten me, Cinderella; I believe
him to be that kind of man. Are you fond of your policeman, dear?
CINDERELLA (_winking_). That’s telling! (_Importantly._) Nurse, did
you ever have a love-letter?
PROBATIONER (_gaily_). Not I! Don’t want to; horrid little
explosives! But have you—has he—?
CINDERELLA (_becoming larger_). In my poor opinion, if it’s not a
love-letter, it’s a very near thing.
PROBATIONER. If I could see the darling little detestable?
CINDERELLA. Oh no, oh no, no, no, no! But I’ll tell you one thing
as is in it. This—‘There are thirty-four policemen sitting in this
room, but I would rather have you, my dear.’ What do you think?
That’s a fine bit at the end.
PROBATIONER (_sparkling_). Lovely! Go on, Cinderella, fling
reticence to the winds.
CINDERELLA (_doing so_). Unless I am—very far out—in my judgment of
men—that man is infatuate about me!
PROBATIONER (_clapping her hands_). The delicious scoundrel!
Cinderella, be merciless to him! Knife him, you dear! Give him
beans!
CINDERELLA (_gurgling_). I ill-treats him most terrible!
PROBATIONER. That’s the way! down with lovers, slit them to
ribbons, stamp on them.
CINDERELLA. Sometimes I—(_she sits up_). Listen!
PROBATIONER (_alarmed_). It isn’t Dr. Bodie, is it?
CINDERELLA. No, it’s _him_.
PROBATIONER. I don’t hear a sound.
CINDERELLA. I can hear him fanning his face with his helmet. He has
come in such a hurry. Nurse, you watch me being cruel to him.
PROBATIONER. At him, Cinderella, at him!
DANNY (_flinging open the door_). The Constabulary’s carriage stops
the way.
(_Our_ POLICEMAN _stalks in, wetting his lips as he does so_.)
PROBATIONER (_giving him her hand_). How do you do? You forget, I
daresay, that I met you when you were here last; but I remember
‘our policeman.’
(_He is bashful._)
There she is.
(_The wicked invalid is looking the other way._)
POLICEMAN. A visitor to see you, Jane.
CINDERELLA (_without looking round_). I thought it had a visitor’s
sound. (_She peeps at the_ PROBATIONER _gleefully_.)
POLICEMAN (_very wooden_). You don’t ask who it is, Jane?
CINDERELLA. I thought it might be that great big ridiculous
policeman.
(DANNY _laughs, and our_ POLICEMAN _gives him a very stern
look_.)
POLICEMAN (_after reflection_). I’m here again, Jane.
CINDERELLA (_admitting it with a glance_). Perhaps you didn’t ought
to come so often; it puts them about.
POLICEMAN (_cleverly_). But does it put you about, Jane?
CINDERELLA. Hey! Hey! (_With a cunning waggle of the hand she
intimates to the_ NURSE _that she may go_.)
DANNY (_who is not so easily got rid of_). You had best be going
too, Robert. The lady has answered you in the negative.
POLICEMAN (_lowering_). You make a move there.
(DANNY, _affecting alarm, follows the_ PROBATIONER.)
CINDERELLA. I like fine to hear you ordering the public about,
David.
POLICEMAN (_humbly_). I’m very pleased, Jane, if there’s any little
thing about me that gives you satisfaction.
(_He puts down a small parcel that he has brought in._)
CINDERELLA (_curious_). What’s in the parcel, David?
POLICEMAN. That remains to be seen. (_He stands staring at his
divinity._)
CINDERELLA (_sneering_). What are you looking at?
POLICEMAN. Just at you.
CINDERELLA (_in high delight_). Me! There’s little to look at in
me. You should see the larder at the Home! You’ll have a cup of
China tea and some of this cake?
POLICEMAN. No, Jane, no. (_In a somewhat melancholy voice._) Things
to eat have very little interest to me now.
CINDERELLA. Oh?
POLICEMAN. I’ve gone completely off my feed.
(CINDERELLA _would have liked the_ PROBATIONER _to hear
this_.)
CINDERELLA (_artfully_). I wonder how that can be!
POLICEMAN. Did you get my letter, Jane?