(_The joyous cry is taken up by all, and_ CINDERELLA _goes
divinely on one knee to her lord and master_.)
CINDERELLA (_simply_). I accepts.
KING (_when the uproar has ceased_). All make merry! The fire is
going low. (_Recklessly._) In with another shilling!
(_A shilling is dumped into the shilling-in-the-slot stove,
which blazes up. The_ PRINCE _puts his arm round his love_.)
LORD TIMES (_again remembering his day of days_). My Prince, not so
fast. There is still the riddle.
PRINCE. I had forgotten.
CINDERELLA (_quaking_). I was feared there would be a riddle.
KING (_prompted by_ LORD TIMES). Know ye all, my subjects, that
before blue blood can wed there is a riddle; and she who cannot
guess it—(_darkly_) is taken away and censored.
(_The_ CENSOR _with his axe comes into sudden prominence
behind_ CINDERELLA _and the two other competitors_.)
My Lord Times, the riddle!
LORD TIMES. I hold in my one hand the riddle, and in the other
the answer in a sealed envelope, to prevent any suspicion of
hanky-panky. Third prize, forward! Now, my child, this is the
riddle. On the night of the Zeppelin raids, what was it that
everyone rushed to save first?
3RD PRIZE. The children.
LORD TIMES. Children not included.
(_The lady is at a loss._)
PRINCE. Time’s up! Hoo-ray!
(_He signs callously to the_ CENSOR, _who disappears with
his victim through a side door, to reappear presently,
wiping his axe and skipping gaily_.)
LORD TIMES. Second prize, forward. Now, Duchess, answer.
2ND PRIZE. Her jewels!
(LORD TIMES _shakes his head_.)
PRINCE (_brightly_). Off with her head! Drown her in a bucket!
(_The_ CENSOR _again removes the lady and does his fell work_.)
LORD TIMES. First prize, forward. Now, Cinderella, answer.
(_The_ CENSOR, _a kindly man but used to his calling, puts
his hand on her shoulder, to lead her away. She removes it
without looking at him._)
CINDERELLA. It’s not a catch, is it?
LORD TIMES (_hotly_). No, indeed.
CINDERELLA. There’s just one thing all true Britons would be
anxious about.
KING (_who has been allowed to break the envelope and read the
answer_). But what, Cinderella—what?
LORD MAYOR (_hedging again_). What, chit?
CINDERELLA. Their love-letters.
KING and LORD TIMES (_together, but_ LORD TIMES _a little in
front_). The fair Cinderella has solved the riddle!
LORD MAYOR (_promptly_). Oh, fair lady!
CINDERELLA (_remembering the Venus_). There’s just one thing that
makes it not quite a perfect ball. I wanted Mrs. Bodie to be one of
the competitors—so as I could beat her.
KING. Send for her at once. Take a taxi.
(_A courtier rushes out whistling, and returns with_ VENUS,
_now imbued with life. Her arms go out wantonly to the_
PRINCE. _He signs to the_ CENSOR, _who takes her away and
breaks her up_.)
PRINCE. I crave a boon. The wedding at once, my lord.
(LORD TIMES _signifies assent_.)
KING. The marriage ceremony will now take place.
CINDERELLA (_calling to the children_). Bridesmaids!
(_They rush down and become her bridesmaids. At the top of
the stair appears a penguin—a penguin or a bishop, they
melt into each other on great occasions. The regal couple
kneel._)
PENGUIN. Do you, O Prince, take this lady to be your delightful
wife—and to adore her for ever?
PRINCE. I do, I do! Oh, I do, I do indeed! I do—I do—I do!
PENGUIN. Do you, Cinderella, loveliest of your sex, take this
Prince for husband, and to love, honour, and obey him?
CINDERELLA (_primly_). If you please.
PENGUIN. The ring?
(_It is_ MARIE-THERESE’S _great hour; she passes her ring
to_ CINDERELLA, _who is married in it. Triumphant music
swells out as a crown is put upon our Princess’s head, and
an extraordinary long train attached to her person. Her
husband and she move dreamily round the ball-room, the
children holding up the train._ LORD TIMES _with exquisite
taste falls in behind them. Then follow the courtiers, all
dreamily; and completing the noble procession is the_ LORD
MAYOR, _holding aloft on a pole an enormous penny. It has
the face of_ CINDERELLA _on one side of it—the penny which
to those who know life is the most romantic of coins unless
its little brother has done better._
_The music, despite better intentions, begins to lose its
head. It obviously wants to dance. Everyone wants to dance.
Even_ LORD TIMES _has trouble with his legs_.)
KING (_threatening, supplicating_). Don’t dance yet. I’ve got a
surprise for you. Don’t dance. I haven’t told you about it, so as
to keep you on the wonder.
(_In vain do they try to control themselves._)
It’s ices!
(_All stop dancing._)
(_Hoarsely._) There’s an ice-cream for everybody.
(_Amid applause the royal ice-cream barrow is wheeled on by
haughty menials who fill the paper sieves with dabs of the
luscious condiment. The paper sieves are of gold, but there
are no spoons. The children, drunk with expectation, forget
their manners and sit on the throne. Somehow_ CINDERELLA’S
_penny clients drift in again, each carrying a sieve._)
None touches till one royal lick has been taken by us four.... (_He
gives them a toast._) To the Bridal Pair!
(_At the royal word ‘Go!’_ ALL _attack the ices with their
tongues, greedily but gracefully. They end in the approved
manner by gobbling up the sieves. It is especially charming
to see the last of_ LORD TIME’S _sieve unbend. The music
becomes irresistible. If you did not dance you would be
abandoned by your legs. It is as if a golden coin had
been dropped into a golden slot. Ranks are levelled. The_
KING _asks_ GLADYS _for this one; the_ QUEEN _is whisked
away by_ MR. BODIE. _Perhaps they dance like costers: if
you had time to reflect you might think it a scene in the
streets. It becomes too merry to last; couples are whirled
through the walls as if the floor itself were rotating:
soon_ CINDERELLA _and her_ PRINCE _dance alone. It is then
that the clock begins to strike twelve._ CINDERELLA _should
fly now, or woe befall her. Alas, she hears nothing save
the whispers of her lover. The hour has struck, and her
glorious gown shrinks slowly into the tattered frock of a
girl with a broom. Too late she huddles on the floor to
conceal the change. In another moment the_ PRINCE _must
see. The children gather round her with little cries, and,
spreading out their nightgowns to conceal her, rush her
from the scene. It is then that the_ PRINCE _discovers his
loss. In a frenzy he calls her sweet name. The bewildered
girl has even forgotten to drop the slipper, without
which he shall never find her._ MARIE-THERESE, _the
ever-vigilant, steals back with it, and leaves it on the
floor_.
_The ball-room is growing dark. The lamps have gone out.
There is no light save the tiniest glow, which has been
showing on the floor all the time, unregarded by us. It
seems to come from a policeman’s lantern. The gold is all
washed out by the odd streaks of white that come down like
rain. Soon the_ PRINCE’S _cry of_ ‘CINDERELLA, CINDERELLA’
_dies away. It is no longer a ball-room on which the
lantern sheds this feeble ray. It is the street outside_
CINDERELLA’S _door, a white street now, silent in snow. The
child in her rags, the policeman’s scarf still round her
precious feet, is asleep on the door step, very little life
left in her, very little oil left in the lantern._)