"I have a desire to depart, and to be with Christ."
The strength of this desire is such that it is ready, so far forth
as it can, to dissolve that sweet knot of union that is betwixt body
and soul--a knot more dear to a reasonable creature than that can be
which is betwixt wife and husband, parent and child, or a man and
his estate; for even all that a man hath will he give for his life,
and to keep body and soul firmly knit together. But now, when this
desire comes, this silver cord is loosed, is loosed by consent. This
desire delightfully grants to him that comes to dissolve this union,
leave to do it. "We are confident and willing rather to be absent
from the body, and to be present with the Lord."
The strength of this desire shows itself in this, that it is willing
to grapple with the king of terrors, rather than to be detained from
that sweet communion which the soul looks for when it comes into the
place where its Lord is. Death is not to be desired for itself; the
apostle chose rather to be clothed upon with his house which is from
heaven, that mortality might be swallowed up of life.
But yet rather than he would be absent from the Lord, he was willing
to be absent from the body. Death, in the very thought of it, is
grievous to flesh and blood; and nothing can so master it in our
apprehensions as that by which we attain to these desires. These
desires do deal with death, as Jacob's love to Rachel dealt with the
seven long years which he was to serve for her. It made them seem
few, or but a little time; so do these desires deal with death
itself. They make it seem little, nay, a servant, nay, a privilege,
because by that a man may come to enjoy the presence of his beloved
Lord. I have a desire to depart, to go from the world and relations,
to go from my body, that great piece of myself--I have a desire to
venture the tugs and pains, and the harsh handling of the king of
terrors, so I may be with Jesus Christ. These are the desires of the
righteous.
Are not these therefore strong desires? Is there not life and mettle
in them? Have they not in them power to loose the bands of nature,
and to harden the soul against sorrow? Flow they not, think you,
from faith of the finest sort, and are they not bred in the bosom of
a truly mortified soul? Are these the effect of a purblind spirit?
Are they not rather the fruits of an eagle-eyed confidence? Oh,
these desires! they are peculiar to the righteous.
Christ in glory is worth the being with. If the man out of whom the
Lord Jesus cast a legion, prayed that he might be with him
notwithstanding all the trials that attended him in this life, how
can it be but that a righteous man must desire to be with him, now
he is in glory?
To see Jesus Christ, to see him as he is, to see him as he is in
glory, is a sight that is worth going from relations and out of the
body and through the jaws of death to see; for this is to see him
Head over all, to see him possessed of heaven for his church, to see
him preparing mansion-houses for those his poor ones that are now by
his enemies kicked to and fro like footballs in the world: and is
not this a blessed sight?
Secondly, I have a desire to be with him, to see myself with him;
this is more blessed still: for a man to see himself in glory, this
is a sight worth seeing.
Sometimes I look upon myself and say, Where am I now? and do quickly
return answer to myself again, Why, I am in an evil world, a great
way from heaven, in a sinful body, among devils and wicked men;
sometimes benighted, sometimes beguiled, sometimes fearing,
sometimes hoping, sometimes breathing, sometimes dying. But then I
turn the tables, and say, But where shall I be shortly? Where shall
I see myself anon, after a few more times have passed over me? And
when I can but answer this question thus: I shall see myself with
Jesus Christ; this yields glory, even glory to one's spirit now.
Thirdly, I have a desire to be with Christ: there the spirits of the
just are perfected; there the spirits of the righteous are as full
as they can hold. A sight of Jesus in the word; some know how it
will change them from glory to glory. But how then shall we be
changed and filled, when we shall see him as he is? "When he shall
appear, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is."
Moses and Elias appeared to Peter and James and John, at the
transfiguration of Christ, "in glory." Hew so? Why, they had been in
the heavens, and came thence with some of the glories of heaven upon
them. Gild a bit of wood, yea, gild it seven times over, and it must
not be compared, in difference from wood which is not gilt, with the
soul that but a little while has been dipt in glory.
Glory is a strange thing to men that are on this side of heaven; it
is that which eye hath not seen nor ear heard, nor hath entered into
the heart of man: only the Christian has a word and Spirit that at
times give a little of the glimmering thereof unto him.
But Oh, when he is in the Spirit and sees in the Spirit, do you
think his tongue can tell? But if the sight of heaven at so vast a
distance is so excellent a prospect, what will it be when one is in
it?
No marvel, then, if the desires of the righteous are to be with
Christ.
There is a man upon a bed of languishing; but Oh, he dares not die,
for all is not as he would have it betwixt God and his poor soul;
and many a night he lies thus in great horror of mind; but do you
think that he doth not desire to depart? Yes, yes; he also waits and
cries to God to set his desires at liberty. At last the visitor
comes and sets his soul at ease, by persuading him that he belongs
to God; and what then? Oh, Now let me die; welcome death!