3. When God gives to his people the grant of their desires, he doth
it so as may be best for our advantage: as,
(1.) Just before a temptation comes; then if it rains grace on thee
from heaven, it may be most for thy advantage. This is like God's
sending plenty in Egypt just before the years of famine came.
(2.) Christians, even righteous men, are apt to lean too much to
their own doings; and God, to wean them from them, ofttimes defers
to do, what they by doing expect, until in doing their spirits are
spent, and they, as to doing, can do no longer. When they that cried
for water, had cried till their spirits failed, and their tongue did
cleave to the roof of their mouth for thirst, then the Lord did
hear, and then the God of Israel did give them their desire. The
righteous would be too light in asking, and would too much owrprize
their works, if their God should not sometimes deal in this manner
with them.
(3.) It is also to the advantage of the righteous, that they be kept
and led in that way which will best improve grace already received,
and that is, when they spin it out and use it to the utmost; when
they do with it as the prophet did with that meal's meat that he ate
under the juniper-tree, "go in the strength of it forty days and
forty nights, even to the mount of God." Or when they do as the
widow did--spend upon their handful of flour in the barrel, and upon
that little oil in the cruse, till God shall send more plenty.
A little true grace will go a great way, yea, and do more wonders
than we are aware of. If we have but grace enough to keep us
groaning after God, it is not all the world that can destroy us.
4. Perhaps thou mayest be mistaken. The grace thou prayest for may
in a great measure be come unto thee.
Thou hast been desiring of God, thou sayest, more grace, but hast it
not.
But how, if while thou lookest for it to come to thee at one door,
it come to thee at another? And that we may a little inquire into
the truth of this, let us a little, consider what are the effects of
grace in its coming to the soul, and then see if it has not been
coming unto thee almost ever since thou hast set upon this fresh
desire after it.
(1.) Grace, in the general effect of it, is to mend the soul, and to
make it better disposed. Hence, when it comes, it brings convincing
light along with it, by which a man sees more of his baseness than
at other times. If, then, thou seest thyself more vile than
formerly, grace by its coming to thee has done this for thee.
(2.) Grace, when it comes, breaks and crumbles the heart in the
sense and sight of its own vileness. A man stands amazed and
confounded in himself; breaks and falls down on his face before God;
is ashamed to lift up so much as his face to God, at the sight and
apprehension of how wicked he is.
(3.) Grace, when it comes, shows to a man more of the holiness and
patience of God; his holiness to make us wonder at his patience, and
his patience to make us wonder at his mercy, that yet, even yet,
such a vile one as I am should be admitted to breathe in the land of
the living, yea more, suffered to come to the throne of grace.
(4.) Grace is of a heart-humbling nature; it will make a man account
himself the most unworthy of any thing, of all saints. It will make
a man put all others before him, and be glad too if he may be one
beloved, though least beloved because most unworthy. It will make
him with gladness accept of the lowest room, as counting all saints
more worthy of exaltation than himself.
(5.) Grace will make a man prize other men's graces and gracious
actions above his own; as he thinks every man's candle burns
brighter than his, every man improves grace better than he, every
good man does more sincerely his duty than he. And if these be not
some of the effects of the renewings of grace, I will confess I have
taken my mark amiss.
(6.) Renewings of grace beget renewed self-bemoanings,
self-condemnations, self-abhorrences.
And say thou prayest for communion with, and the presence of God.
God can have communion with thee and grant thee his presence, and
all this shall, instead of comforting thee at present, more confound
thee and make thee see thy wickedness.
Some people think they never have the presence and renewings of
God's grace upon them, but when they are comforted and when they are
cheered up--when, alas, God may be richly with them, while they cry
out by these visions, My sorrows are multiplied; or, Because I have
seen God, I shall die.
And tell me now, all these things considered, has not grace, even
the grace of God which thou hast so much desired, been coming to
thee and working in thee in all these hidden methods? Thus therefore
thy desire is accomplishing, and when it is accomplished will be
sweet to thy soul.
5. But we will follow thee a little in the way of thy heart. Thou
sayest thou desirest, and desirest grace, yea, hast been a thousand
times upon thy knees before God for more grace, and yet thou canst
not attain.
I answer, (1.) It maybe, the grace which thou prayest for is worth
thy being upon thy knees yet a thousand times more. "We find that
usually they that go to king's courts for preferment, are there at
great expenses, yea, and wait a great while, even until they have
spent their whole estates, and worn out their patience too."
Yet they at last prevail, and the thing desired comes; yea, and when
it is come, it sets them up anew and makes them better men, though
they did spend all they had to obtain it, than ever they were
before. Wait, therefore, wait, I say, on the Lord; bid thy soul
cheer up and wait. "Blessed are all they that wait for him."
(2.) Thou must consider that great grace is reserved for great
service. Thou desirest abundance of grace; thon doest well, and thou
shalt have what shall qualify thee for the service that God has for
thee to do for him, and for his name in the world. The apostles
themselves were to stay for great grace until the time their work
was come. I will not allot thy service, but assure thyself, when thy
desire cometh, thou wilt have occasion for it--new work, new trials,
new sufferings, or something that will call for the power and virtue
of all the grace thou shalt have to keep thy spirit even, and thy
feet from slipping, while thou art exercised in new engagements.
Assure thyself thy God will not give thee straw, but he will expect
brick. "For unto whomsoever much is given, of him much shall be
required." Wherefore, as thou art busy in desiring more grace, be
also desirous that wisdom to manage it with faithfulness may also be
granted unto thee.
Thou wilt say, Grace, if I had it, will do all this for me.
It will, and will not. It will, if thou watch and be sober; it will
not, if thou be foolish and remiss. Men of great grace may grow
consumptive in grace, and idleness may turn him that wears a plush
jacket into rags. David was once a man of great grace, but his sin
made the grace which he had so to shrink up and dwindle away as to
make him cry out, O take not thy Spirit utterly from me!
(3.) Or, perhaps God withholds what thou wouldst have, that it may
be the more prized by thee when it comes. "Hope deferred maketh the
heart sick; but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life."
(4.) Lastly. But dost thou think that thy more grace will exempt
thee from temptations? Alas, the more grace, the greater trials.
Thou must be, for all that, like the ship of which thou readest:
sometimes high, sometimes low; sometimes steady, sometimes
staggering; and sometimes even at the end of thy very wits: "For so
he brings us to our desired haven."
Yet grace is the gold and preciousness of the righteous man: yea,
and herein appears the uprightness of his soul, in that, though all
these things attend the grace of God in him, yet he chooseth grace
here above all, for that it makes him the more like God and his
Christ, and for that it seasons his heart best to his own content;
and also for that it capacitates him to glorify God in the world.