1. This fear that Christ will not receive thee is FOR CANT OF THE
KNOWLEDGE OF CHRIST. Thou knowest but little of the grace and
kindness that is in the heart of Christ; thou knowest but little of
the virtue and merit of his blood; thou knowest but little of the
willingness that is in his heart to save thee. Slowness of heart to
believe flows from thy foolishness in the things of Christ; this is
evident to all that are acquainted with themselves, and are seeking
after Jesus Christ. The more ignorance, the more unbelief; the more
knowledge of Christ, the more faith. "They that know thy name, will
put their trust in thee."
2. Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee may be also A
CONSEQUENCE OF THY EARNEST AND STRONG DESIRES AFTER THY SALVATION BY
HIM. For this I observe, that strong desires to have are attended
with strong fears of missing. What man most sets his heart upon, and
what his desires are most after, he ofttimes most fears he shall not
obtain. So, the ruler of the synagogue had a great desire that his
daughter should live, and that desire was attended with fear that
she would not. Therefore Christ saith unto him, "Be not afraid."
Now thou fearest the sins of thy youth, the sins of thine old age,
the sins of thy calling, the sins of thy Christian duties, the sins
of thine heart, or something; thou thinkest something or other will
alienate the heart and affections of Jesus Christ from thee.
But be content. A little more knowledge of him will make thee take
better heart; thy earnest desires shall not be attended with such
burning fears; thou shalt hereafter say, "This is my infirmity."
3. Thy fear that Christ will not receive thee, may arise from a
sense of THY OWN UNWORTHINESS. Thou seest what a poor, sorry,
wretched, worthless creature thou art; and seeing this, thou fearest
Christ will not receive thee. "Alas," sayst thou, "I am the vilest
of all men, a townsinner, a ringleading sinner. I am not only a
sinner my self, but I have made others twofold worse the children of
hell also. Besides, now I am under some awakenings and stirrings of
mind after salvation, even now I find my heart rebellious, carnal,
hard, treacherous, desperate, prone to unbelief, to despair; it
forgetteth the word, it wandereth, it runneth to the ends of the
earth. There is not, I am persuaded, one in all the world that hath
such a desperate wicked heart as mine is. My soul is careless to do
good; but none more earnest to do that which is evil.
"Can such a one as I am live in glory? Can a holy, a just, and a
righteous God think, with honor to his name, of saving such a vile
creature as I am? Saved I would be; and who is there that would not,
were he in my condition? Indeed I wonder at the madness and folly of
others, when I see them leap and skip so carelessly about the mouth
of hell. Bold sinner, how darest thou tempt God by laughing at the
breach of his holy law? But, alas, they are not so bad one way, but
I am worse another; I wish myself were any body but myself. And yet,
here again I know not what to wish. When I see such as I believe are
coming to Jesus Christ, Oh I bless them. But I am confounded in
myself, to see how unlike I am to a very good many in the world.
They can hear, read, pray, remember, repent, he humble, and do every
thing better than so vile a wretch as I."
Thus the sense of unworthiness creates and heightens fears in the
hearts of them that are coming to Jesus Christ. But indeed it should
not, for who needs the physician but the sick? Or whom did Christ
come into the world to save, but the chief of sinners? Wherefore,
the more thou seest thy sins, the faster fly thou to Jesus Christ.
As it is with the man that carrieth his broken arm in a sling to the
bonesetter, still, as he thinks of his broken arm, and as he feels
the pain and anguish, he hastens his pace to the man. And if Satan
meets thee, and asketh, "Whither goest thou?" tell him thou art
maimed, and art going to the Lord Jesus. If he objects thine own
unworthiness, tell him, that even as the sick seeketh the physician;
as he that hath broken bones seeks him that can set them; so thou
art going to Jesus Christ for healing for thy sin-sick soul.
But it ofttimes happeneth to him that flies for his life, he
despairs of escaping, and therefore delivers himself up into the
hand of the pursuer. But up, up, sinner; be of good cheer; Christ
came to save the unworthy one. Be not faithless, but believing. Come
away, man. The Lord Jesus calls thee, saying, ".And him that cometh
to me, I will in nowise cast out."
4. Thy fear that Christ will not receive thee, may arise from a
sense of THE EXCEEDING MERCY OF BEING SAVED. Besides, the Holy Ghost
hath a way to greaten heavenly things to the understanding of the
coming sinner; yea, and at the same time to greaten, too, the sin
and unworthiness of that sinner. Now, the soul staggering by
wonders, saying, "What! to be made like angels, like Christ; to live
in eternal bliss, joy, and felicity! This is for angels, and for
them that can walk like angels."
Thus doth the greatness of the things desired quite dash and
overthrow the mind of the desire. "O, it is too big, it is too big,
it is too great a mercy."
But, coming sinner, let me reason with thee. Thou sayest it is too
big, too great. Well, will things that are less satisfy thy soul?
Will a less thing than heaven, than glory and eternal life, answer
thy desires? "No, nothing less. Yet I fear they are too big, and too
good for me even to obtain." Well, as big and as good as they are,
God giveth them to such as thou. They are not too big for God to
give; no, not too big to give freely. Be content; let God give like
himself; he is that eternal God, and giveth like himself. When kings
give, they do not use to give as poor men do. Now, God is a great
King; let him give like a king; nay, let him give like himself, and
do thou receive like thyself. He has all, and thou hast nothing.
5. Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee, may arise from THINE
OWN FOLLY IN INVETING, yea, in thy chalking out to God a way to
bring thee home to Jesus Christ. Some souls that are coming to Jesus
Christ are great tormentors of themselves upon this account. They
conclude that if their coming to Jesus Christ is right, they must
needs be brought home thus and thus.
Now, I say, if God brings thee to Christ, and not by the way that
thou hast appointed, then thou art at a loss; and for thy being at a
loss, thou mayest thank thyself. God hath more ways than thou
knowest of to bring a sinner to Jesus Christ; but he will not give
thee before-hand an account by which of them he will bring thee to
Christ.
Sometimes he hath his ways in the whirlwind, but sometimes the Lord
is not there.
If God will deal more gently with thee than with others of his
children, grudge not at it; refuse not the waters that go softly,
lest he bring up to thee the waters of the rivers strong and many,
even those two smoking firebrands, the devil and guilt of sin. He
saith to Peter, "Follow me;" and what thunder did Zaccheus hear or
see? "Zaccheus, come down," said Christ; and he came down, says
Luke, and received him joyfully.
But had Peter or Zaccheus made the objection that thou hast
made-looking for a heavy load of guilt, or fearful temptations of
Satan-and directed the Spirit of the Lord as thou hast done, they
might have looked long enough before they had found themselves
coming to Jesus Christ.
Poor creature! Thou criest, "If I were tempted, I could come faster
and with more confidence to Jesus Christ." Thou sayest thou knowest
not what. What says Job? "Withdraw thy hand far from me, and let not
thy dread make me afraid: then call thou, and I will answer; or let
me speak, and answer thou me." Job 13: 21, 22. It is not the
over-heavy load of sin, but the discovery of mercy-not the roaring
of the devil, but the drawing of the Father, that makes a man come
to Jesus Christ. I myself know all these things.
True, sometimes they that come to Jesus Christ, come the way that
thou desirest-the loading, tempted way; but the Lord also leads some
by the waters of comfort. If I was to choose when to go a long
journey, to wit, whether I would go it in the dead of winter or in
the pleasant spring-though if it was a very profitable journey, as
that of coming to Christ is, I would choose to go it through fire
and water before I would lose the benefit-but I say, if I might
choose the time, I would choose to go in the pleasant spring,
because the way would be more delightsome, the days longer and
warmer, the nights shorter, and not so cold.
Trouble not thyself, coming sinner: if thou seest thy lost condition
by original and actual sin; if thou seest thy need of the spotless
righteousness of Jesus Christ; if thou art willing to be found in
him, and to take up thy cross and follow him, then pray for a fair
wind and good weather, and come away. Stick no longer in a muse and
doubt about things, but come away to Jesus Christ.
6. Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee may arise from THOSE
DECAYS THAT THOU FINDEST IN THY-SOUL, even while thou art coming to
him. Some, even as they are coming to Jesus Christ, do find
themselves grow worse and worse. To explain myself: there is such a
one coming to Jesus Christ, who, when he first began to look out
after him, was sensible, affectionate, and broken in spirit, but now
is grown dark, senseless, hard-hearted, and inclining to neglect
spiritual duties. Besides, he now finds in himself inclinations to
unbelief, atheism, blasphemy, and the like; now, he finds he cannot
tremble at God's word, his judgments, nor the apprehension of
hell-fire; neither can he, as he thinketh, be sorry for these
things.
This man is in the wilderness among wild beasts. Here he sees a
bear, there a lion, yonder a leopard, a wolf, a dragon. Devils of
all sorts, doubts of all sorts, fears of all sorts haunt and molest
his soul. This man feeleth the infirmity of his flesh; he findeth a
proneness in himself to be desperate. Now he chides with God, flings
and tumbles like a wild bull in a net, and still the guilt of all
returns upon himself to the crushing of him to pieces. Yet he
feeleth his heart so hard that he can find, as he thinks, no
kindness under any of his miscarriages. Now, he is a lump of
confusion in his own eyes, whose spirit and actions are without
order. "Now, I see I am lost," says the sinner; "this is not coming
to Jesus Christ; such a desperately hard and wretched heart as mine
is, cannot be a gracious one," saith the sinner. And bid such a one
be better, he says, "I cannot; no, I cannot."
QUESTION. But what will you say to a soul in this condition?
ANSWER. I will say, that temptations have attended the best of God's
people; I will say that temptations come to do us good; and I will
say also, that there is a difference betwixt growing worse and
worse, and thy seeing more clearly how bad thou art.
There is a man of an ill-favored countenance who hath too high a
conceit of his heauty, and wanting the benefit of a glass, he still
stands in his own conceit. At last a limner is sent unto him, who
draweth his ill-favored face to the life. Now, looking thereon, he
hegins to be convinced that he is not half so handsome as he thought
he was. Coming sinner, thy temptations are these painters; they have
drawn out thy ill-favored heart to the life, and have set it before
thine eyes, and now thou seest how ill-favored thou art.
Some that are coming to Christ cannot lie persuaded, until the
temptation comes, that they are so vile as the scripture saith they
are. True, they see so much of their wretchedness as to drive them
to Christ. But there is an over and above of wickedness which they
see not. Peter little thought that he had had in his heart cursing
and swearing and lying, and an inclination to deny his Master,
before the temptation came; but when that indeed came upon him, then
he found it there to his sorrow.
It may be that thy graces must be tried in the fire, that that rust
which cleaveth to them may be taken away, and themselves proved,
both before angels and devils, to be far better than gold that
perisheth. It may be also, that thy graces are to receive special
praises and honor and glory, at the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ
to judgment, for all the exploits that thou hast acted by them
against hell and its infernal crew, in the day of thy temptation.
But to conclude this, put the worst to the worst, and then things
will be bad enough: suppose that thou art to this day without the
grace of God; yet thou art but a miserable creature, a sinner that
has need of a blessed Saviour; and the text presents thee with one
as good and kind as heart can wish, who also for thy encouragement
saith, "And him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast out."