PEACE reigns in the club-house on the links. The young men have nearly
all gone, and Morris, our veteran "plus two" member, who generally only
condescends to go round with the pro. and one or two choice players, is
eager for a match with anyone. Only you must play for five shillings for
his wife's branch of the Red Cross Society.
In the smoke-room over our pipes--cigars are considered wasteful and bad
form--the old conversational warriors look at one another. I glance
across at Sellars, a member of that loathsome, I should say highly
admirable, institution, the National Liberal Club. It is not six weeks
since I denounced him as a pestilent traitor because he demanded, for
some reason, that escapes me, the blockade of a city called Belfast.
And, if I remember, he alluded to me as a traitorous tamperer with the
Army. But now I praise the admirable patriotism of JOHN REDMOND; I
eulogise the financial genius of LLOYD GEORGE; I grow fervid as I
rhapsodise about WINSTON.
Then Sellars interposes, "My dear fellow, why do you forget the splendid
abnegation of Sir EDWARD CARSON? As for LLOYD GEORGE he may have done
well, but hasn't he AUSTEN at his elbow all the time? Talk about WINSTON
if you like, but, after all, he has only muzzled the German fleet. F. E.
SMITH has done a far more wonderful thing. He has muzzled the British
Press."
Peace! It is wonderful. Only at the back of my mind there is one sad
thought which I strive to put away from me. Suppose a General Election
comes whilst the war is still on. I, as a patriot, shall have to vote
for the splendid Government. It will be Sellars' duty and joy to support
our splendid Opposition. And, if we all act in the same way, we shall
have those wretched--what funny slips one's pen makes!--those adorable
Radicals back in power for another five years.
But when the war is over and we see a free Europe I promise myself one
reward. The night when peace is proclaimed I shall seek out Sellars and
tell him just what I think about LLOYD GEORGE; and I haven't the
slightest doubt that he will celebrate the occasion by some venomous
abuse of BONAR LAW.
You see at present we are handicapped; we are just Englishmen.
* * * * *
Another Impending Apology.
"The first editor of GOLFING was Mr. Thomas Marlowe, who is now
editor of the _Daily Mail_. On the other hand, there have been
several editors of GOLFING who have since risen to positions of
distinction."--_Golfing._
* * * * *
Illustration: TO ARMS! RECRUITING-SERGEANT PUNCH. "NOW, MY LADS, YOUR
COUNTRY WANTS YOU. WHO'S FOR THE FRONT?"
* * * * *
Illustration: UNDER MARTIAL LAW.
"NOW MIND, MARY, IF A SENTRY ASKS YOU WHO YOU ARE, YOU MUST IMMEDIATELY
ANSWER, 'FRIEND.'"
"YES, 'M, BUT WHAT AM I TO SAY IF HE ASKS ME HOW BABY IS?"
* * * * *